It’s a first time for him too. I’d be thankful I had a supportive parent for my child. It’s just school supplies, you’ll have many years to buy more. Pick your battles.
I understand the momxcitment. But take it from a mom who is having to buy supplies for two kids on a very small income. Their dad says that’s my responsibility. I agree with the other ladies how about buy the backpack and lunch box, but be grateful that the father is actually going to help.
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Prime example of pick your battles. Accept his help. The only thing that matters is your child being prepared. He won’t remember who picked out what. He’ll remember you made sure he had what he needed no matter how it got there though.
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Sounds like you need to go buy yourself a box of crayons if this is something that upset you…
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Why don’t you buy what you can afford then tell him the things he can get…
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This is just one of those things that happen when parents aren’t together anymore. Just be happy that your ex wants to help and will get what your son needs. That’s the most important thing.
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So go buy what you want … he will need supplies at home and school. And dont ask for money…who has custody …does he have 50% child support?
Seriously? Oh dear…what if he loses his first tooth at his Dad’s…for example…please stop winding yourself up in knots about trivial things, save your energy for reality…
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Let him buy all the books pencils etc and you buy the backpack pencil case lunchbox or drink bottle and decorate them with your child whichever one you can afford trust me the other stuff is blah but the bag etc is what your little one will be the most excited over.
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Should just be telling him thank you for getting everything.
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I think I’d just be happy he was willing to buy the stuff my child needed. You will have many years to buy school supplies. I’ve been buying them for 12 years now and you’re not missing out much , I promise.
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Get the list and send it to him. It’s a head ache trying to school shop. Especially with a new born. I’m sure your going to be the one who gets all the first day of school excitement so let him have the school supplies.
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Can you guys go together and pick everything out
Or buy/get what you can and then see if he will buy the rest
Put your adult conflict resolution skills to work and tell him that is very appreciated and you would love to join them when they shop for the supplies.
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Why don’t you pick up things here and there when you can? Like crayons, markers, pencils etc. They go on sale at Walmart this time of year. Crayons are sometimes only .25, markers and pencils are under $1. Maybe bring him to pick out a backpack and a few shirts. That way you’re able to shop for some of the things. Make a list of what’s still needed after you’ve done what you can.
I don’t know if you shop at The Children’s Place at all, but they have great deals. I bought my son 2 pairs of Jean’s, 2 pairs of khaki pants and 9 shirts for under $70. They always offer free shipping no matter what the order total is. You can also sign up for emails or texts and get a coupon for $10 off of $30.
Might be a crazy idea, but why don’t y’all do the shopping together? Like yeah he can buy the stuff but what if you met at the store and did something together for your child? That way you’re still part of the excitement and he isn’t handing you extra cash. 
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Ask to do it together
Sorry you get an eye roll here it’s legit school supplies , he offered to buy them , time to put the big girl panties on. There are going to be TONS of “firsts” for you since he is with you often. Let him have this one it’s important he feels like he is a part 9f his kids life too
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so can dad not do stuff for his kid???
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At least he is getting them. You dont have to be the one to go get. Sounds like you have the kiddo the majority of the time so why is it a big deal that he wants to do it? 
petty baby mama bullshit.
Trust me, they will need extra pencils, glue, crayons. Kids go thru it like crazy. Buy that stuff!
Tell him thank you and send him a list of the stuff he needs.
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Get over it , you have 16+ more years to get school supplies sis.
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My ex is the same way, I shop everything online and then send him the cart and he buys it. He acts like I’m gonna not spend the money on my kids 
but then he asks me 15 times what size or what do they like or what do they want so this way is easier
Be blessed to have a co- parents that’s willing to help.
It’s just school supplies nothing exciting about that. The excitement is the first day of school when u have to drop them off and pick them up and hear all about their first day and the new friends they made.
Don’t sweat the small stuff in the big picture of raising a child together.
Be blessed that U have help that don’t forget U asked for to begin with. Then complain about the help U get.
U should re think that in my opinion.
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I totally understand how you feel. My boyfriend took our daughter to her first movie theater movie without me. I was so sad until he told me she freaked out about 20 minutes into the movie and he didn’t get to even see the movie Sucker. If it’s anything like the schools here they aren’t buying actual school supplies anyway so honestly it’s not that fun 
You’re allowed to feel however you feel about it and maybe you could get the supplies for the 2nd half of the year. Kids always need more crayons and stuff cause they get broken and lost.
I mean…… your child has the supplies needed, right? 
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Let him buy them. Don’t make it about you. If he’s willing to buy them, let him.
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He probably wanted to make sure the money actually went to school supplies
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I can’t read anymore of this childish garbage. You’re both supposed to be adults—act like it. Be the parents not the child!!
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Wow people are fucking rude. I’d wanna do ALLL the firsts with my kid too. Ask to do it together and take your son with you! Let him pick stuff out! Like clothes or shoes or whatever!! I get it that y’all have a sucky relationship. That’s my reality too. But you gotta put the kid first! Don’t miss out Mama! Ask to go with🙂
I’m sure if he said no and didn’t buy him anything, you’d be mad. It just seems like either way, it’s your way or you throw a fit
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Let him have this first. It’s not that serious. Good for him for stepping up!
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To be honest, when someone asks me for money for something, if I give his response it’s because I don’t think the person will spend the money on what they said they would. Not saying that’s the situation here but maybe it is?
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Isn’t he paying child support? Why are having to ask for money for him.
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Pro Tip:
He’ll need more supplies after Christmas. 
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Girl I get it. If it’s that important, then maybe suggest that you two go together for the very first school shopping trip?
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God, the amount of narcissism and blatant ignorance in this thread is mind blowing off of such little details…
Anyway, you’re in a tough spot. And I understand possibly both sides. He either doesn’t trust you with the money, wants to be a part of it, or he’s being ignorant to torment which is common in splits and someone is immature. Hopefully not the last one. But just communicate about how special it would be for you both to do it together or both to be involved so your kiddo can grow up with a good family dynamic though you both aren’t together. It may have possibly pissed him off that you asked HIM for the money so YOU could do it. I get he should help. He absolutely should. Ask him if there is any way he’s willing to compromise to include you somehow and how much it would mean. Communication and understanding can fix so many issues. It’s definitely harder when you are in the situation, but as an outsider looking in. If he’s unwilling to meet you in the middle because of his ego, and doesn’t come through at all with the supplies. That’s when I would lose it completely. If he accepts you sending a list and gets all the supplies himself, you may have to take the L and be prepared for the next time your kiddo needs stuff. That’s the best advice I have. Good luck! Hope everything works out for the best! 
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Personally it’s ok, I would just provide a list of what he needs to get for the Child. You’re lucky there, he still provide. My child’s father is an AWOL father. He does not provide for her. But to be fair, he comes out once in a blue moon , very very rare
And mind you, you have to ask, he does not have initiative at all to provide. He keeps blaming poverty and lack of opportunity. When in fact there Are lots, but he’s just too lazy to work. He’s a bummer.
Be blessed
The only thing mine ever got from their fathers was one was given a bandana that some girl bought him
When she wanted to see him in it he took it back
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If it’s that big of a deal go buy more… I am sure the teacher will appreciate it… I send a second round if stuff just before xmas…
They pay for a LOT out of their own pocket… every bit helps.
And I would be a Lil thankful that he even did that considering your out of work… I mean I get it to a point but if it’s that big of a deal get doubles the teacher will be happy
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Maybe as a father he is excited too. Since you aren’t in a place financially, let him. You will get so many firsts that some fathers miss, let him have this one.
And it’s awesome he is willing to get his things ! Send him the list of what’s expected for his class and prepare yourself for taking him to his first day of school. Is dad going to be able to be there since he works during the week? If not then take it as both of you are taking part of this experience. You will see over the years you won’t care who gets what for school as long as it gets done… other firsts are important too. 
it’s hard to watch them grow up! You HAVE to share experiences with a father who wants to be there.
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Why don’t y’all just go together bring the little one with you so he has a little choice in what he gets .
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Go together you pick it out he pays for it
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See if he wants to go together and act like an adult and do it.
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Give your ex a list of school required supplies. Really not a big deal. Yes, you may be disappointed but you will be the one to get your son ready and see him off on his first day of school.
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Why does it matter if he gives money or buys them
He has a right to buy for his 1st year of school too
Just my thought PICK YOUR BATTLES WISELY
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Be grateful he is paying for the supplies, my boys father never helped a cent towards them in anyway… I did it all on my own…
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Is it his first kid too? Cause if it is then it’s his first time too. I know you try to avoid eachother but I would ask if you all can just meet up and shop for the stuff together because it’s an important milestone to you. Maybe if he hears that he’ll just give you the money. Worse case scenario you either end up going with or not at all. Sorry. I totally understand but unfortunately if you don’t have the money then its gonna be a miss for you
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Sounds like he just did not want to give you the money. And knowing his work schedule, he probably just blew you off. I would make the effort to give him the supply list. I know you’re bummed about this but if he does come through it will help you. I seriously don’t think he has any intentions of buying anything, but it would be nice if he did.
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You are being petty I wished my BD would’ve helped buy any school supplies when the kids were little.
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Don’t beat yourself up as long as he gets supplies there will be 12yrs when he needs a spiral notebook pens pencils you will need supplies often
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Honestly if your child is getting what they need WHO CARES WHO BUYS IT. I mean clearly, you care… but its not a huge deal. To be fair if my child’s father asked me for money for something, I would also say “no, ill just buy it”
A lot of “parents” wouldn’t even respond to your request, let alone be helpful.
Send a list - job done.
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I think it’s more about him being controlling than wanting to buy supplies y’all are forgetting she’s taking care of a baby at home that’s his too that’s why she’s not working not because she wants to be broke at home
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Sounds like he wants to make sure that his money is going directly to what you are stating you want. Could offer him receipts. Or otherwise, send him the list of items you need and let him do it. Saves going out with just having a baby and allows you to rest.
He said he would buy the stuff? Not give you money? I don’t see what the issue is
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Ppl can shop on weekends too… which of you 2 will be there for all the school firsts?
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Send a list. Give a deadline. Be upset with yourself for not setting money aside in the first place. Plan for next big firsts so you don’t do this to yourself again.
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I would probably just say thank you and if I felt really bad about it I would make an effort to co parent better.
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Sounds to me ex is smart and not handing out the loot to u …I’m sure u have other motives other than thinking about ur kiddo…glad dad doing the shopping…upset much
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Sounds to me like your ex doesn’t trust your intentions with the money. I’m sure the fact that you’re unemployed and just had a baby, are not helping the matter. If this is such a big deal to you, then you need to talk to him about it. Ignoring each other now may work for awhile, but ultimately, you two need to be able to communicate for the wellbeing of your children.
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Let him buy the supplies. If you really want to get supplies yourself, you still can.
The most important thing here isn’t your or dad’s feelings, it’s that the child has what is needed
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To be fair, I have one kid and she starts kindergarten this year and my ex and I agreed to just buy the box of supplies the school has set up. It was wayyyyy cheaper and less of a headache.
Tell him you can go together that’s not cool
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Find a back to school drive they usually give a backpack and small amount of starter supplies in the event he doesnt get them in time. But send him the list of what is needed and what is needed. You will have more importance 1st times than school supplies
While it would’ve been nice for him to give you money and let you do that it is his money and he is buying yalls kid what they need so I’d try and look at the bright side. I coparent with my sons father I know it’s hard
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As a mom, I understand your point of it being a first. But at the same time, pick your battles. As long as he is getting what he needs when he needs it, thats whats important. As mom’s, sometimes we have to put our feelings aside for whats best for our children. Thats part of coparenting.
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Ur unemployed and just had a baby… he is literally trying to help you and ur complaining say THANK YOU
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Wow, a father that actually helps and doesn’t make you do it all by yourself… Oh yeah, totally be upset
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Just let him get it if he doesn’t get what’s needed address that make sure to ask him to take the kid with him so he can pick up stuff he wants
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I don’t blame you as a mom I wouldn’t be okay missing out on getting my kids their supplies for school and mom should NEVER be excluded from a first with her child
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He could have just said he wasn’t going to help at all 
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Its like you are saying that mums have more responsibility to buy school supplies, rather then the dad.
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I totally get why you wanted to buy them but he is a parent too and he is the parent with the money. Be grateful that he is willing to help. At the end of the day it is not about you it is what is best for your child. Try to focus on something else. Like putting him on the bus for the first time. Or you can be the one to help organize, label and pack the bookbag
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It’s a first time thing for him too? Maybe He wants it just as much as you do? And you need to get him on child support if he’s refusing to give you anything to help.
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What is so special about buying a bunch of glue and crayons? It’s kindergarten… Let the man provide for his child. I’m curious if the new baby is his. Maybe he doesn’t want to give you cash because he doesn’t trust what it will be used for. Maybe his worry is you’re not working because of the new baby so you’re unable to provide for your older child and will his money actually all go for school supplies or will it be spent on diapers and wipes and whatever else is needed too?
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Ask if you can go with him to get the stuff? That way he can buy it but you can help pick stuff out.
He is the child’s father. Just say , “Thank you, I appreciate your help.” If you can’t afford it and he can and is also willing to do the shopping, be a bit grateful.
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pick ur battles he’s willing to buy you will have lots of other things to but firsts for
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Omg get over it - he doesn’t have to give you any money! He brought his child what they need. Be fucking greatful
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Maybe ask if you can help pick stuff out as well. Just explain to him that it means something to you.
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At least he paid for them. Be grateful for what you get.
I mean if he’s getting the supplies I really don’t see the issue here
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Choose your battles girl and this shouldn’t be a battle.
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My bd don’t do anything, don’t offer, don’t give them money, don’t ask about anything, literally nothing. Be happy he’s willing. Trust me, you ain’t missing nothing. Buying school supplies blows.
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How long have you known your kid was starting kindergarten this year? You should have probably planned a little better if you knew you’d be out of work having a baby when it came time to get supplies. Also, I think you are over exaggerating…you should be thankful he didn’t tell you to figure it out.
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Stop counting on him. Buy a few things at a time…you’ll feel so good getting things yourself…kindergarteners don’t need much. A lot of places are giving away free stuff. Keep aware of these places.
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Its his first kid in kindergarten too right?
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They are only school supply’s, it’s more important if your going to get to see him off to his first day of school and see him when he gets home. Send your ex a list of what he needs and tell him the date your child needs it by and make sure you say thank you, that you appreciate it.
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I understand completely being upset. I don’t get to buy my step-daughters school supplies for Kindergarten but I did for 4k. My ex decided he was going to get the kids backpacks and shoes and the kids are excited about it even though in our court agreement I buy all school supplies and he pays me back. I’m just going to buy a few cute “extra” stuff for them. It’s upsetting, not sure why but it is. At least he is helping. That’s a plus! Silver lining!
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You asked for his help and hes giving it. As long as he gets the child what’s needed i don’t see a problem. Next time be more proactive and plan ahead.
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Ask again and tell him how excited you are to get him things for going to kindergarten. Speak from the heart. Make him understand how important this is for your child.
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But you’d probably be mad and on here complaining IF he didn’t do it…
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I have been a single parent for quite sometime and honestly if my child’s dad was to say he would get everything I would just be grateful for his help. Having both parents involved one or the other will miss out on first time things at some point in the child’s life. No reason to be mad or upset
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You could ask if you could go with him so you could pick a few thing’s out and be included…
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It’s a first time thing for him, too. If he’s responsible enough to plan activities for the weekends and to show up to work through the week, I think he’s responsible enough to schedule a shopping trip. Most adults work during the week. We still find time to get necessary things done. It sounds like you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Buying the supplies isn’t the same as dropping kiddo off on his first day. Save the emotions for the part that’s actually important.
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Why don’t you each get him some supplies/clothing? Seems reasonable.
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I can tell you from past and present co-parenting nightmares that this is the least of what you should be worried about . If you want to pick out the stuff, pay for it yourself.
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Your child is going to school with what he needs …point plain n simple. You will have many times to buy. It’s not about you it’s about the child being prepared ready n happy …for the first day of school 
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