I’m wanting to move out of state with my two kids and in with family cause I’m struggling right now. But their dad doesn’t approve. But this is my only option. I have no one where I live and no help. I’m miserable. But I also don’t want my kids upset either.
Tell him to pay more in support so you’re not struggling.
If there’s court documents on visitation or custody you have to go to court to get it altered otherwise he really has no say unless he takes you to court for moving. I’d keep everything in a text and explain that you have to move for financial reasons that way you can properly care for the kids.
Petition the courts do not I repeat DO NOT just up and leave. If there is court ordered visitation and you up and leave your ex can get you for kidnapping the children doesn’t matter that your the mother you still have to follow the laws
Or even better give the children to thier fathers until your able to get on your feet as mother we have to do whats best for our children not ourselves
You will have to go to court if there is a court order in place. As long as visitation continues and its not too far of a distance you shouldn’t be denied. Just prepare to give him more time.
Leave the kids with their father and move. Why take them away from a parent because you’re struggling?
Probally no less cheaper to move, when you add costs of gas meeting dad half way to drop kids off.
If you have joint custody, you can’t do this unless you come to some sort of agreement and alter the parenting plan. Those are his kids too, you know.
If there is a court order in place as stated above you have to do it through the courts. It sucks but sometimes you have to make due with what your dealt. So sorry you have to go through that. Maybe ask the father for more help if needed. That’s what he is suppose to be there for, to help make sure the kids are set up for success.
Depending on how far and your current custody arrangement you may not be able to move and keep custody. Even if you did you may be required to do all transport for visitation He’s their other parent and has as much right as you do
I mean is he an active parent? How would you feel if he just took the kids and told you to go?
How would you feel if he took them because you are struggling?
I have a cousin who just went through this. She had to fight for a good 3 years just to move to a different TOWN, not state, a TOWN that’s 4 hours away. It was finally granted, but it was a long and expensive process.
you can petition with your cause and if he doesn’t have a better cause to not want you to move you will most likely be approved for your move and change of pp…
If he sees the children and plays a part in their lives the court will not give you permission to go.
If he has been absent in their lives for a few years then might have a chance.
Tell dad to help with Bill’s
I’m sorry girl. It sucks. The main reason that I stay in the town that I live in is bc I do not want to take my 8 yr old son away from his dad. Moving away sounds great!!! But taking my son away from his dad is not something that I’m willing to do. He needs his dad just as much as he needs me.
I moved with my son my ex was pissed but the state we live in says since there was no court order we were never married and he didn’t pay child support. It was like I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. Check your state laws first.
He cannot stop you from moving unless it’s in your custody agreement that either parent won’t move out of state without informing the court first. Once you move, get the custody agreement amended to accommodate the move.
Reevaluate the situation.
There’s always something, it may not be exactly what you want, as long as you’re not moving laterally it’s a start.
When my daughter feels stuck I remind her that she’s got the entire world at her finger tips.
Ask different questions, think outside the box and use your resources.
Go to court and prove to them it would be better for them to move. Show that they’ll have a stable environment and you’ll have a good job and a good home.
I moved out of state with our son. Was agreed upon with both of us. We have a shared patenting plan… I’d say it all depends on your state law and if you two get along. Our plan had worked out pretty well
I took my ex to court and told the judge I wanted my kids to know my side of the family and got an approval to move.
Simple give the kids to their dad if you want to move out of state. Why should he go long periods of time without seeing his kids. And if you ain’t coping then give the kids to him. I raised my kids without any help from anyone
Depending on the state you just have to write him a letter of intent to move have it delivered through certified mail so you get a notice that he received it since he’d have to sign. And legally you are covered.
I think making suggestions is a bit clouded because we don’t know the whole situation. Like his quality of parenting and involvement and such. If he is a good parent, maybe if y’all can sit down and discuss what’s going on, y’all can come to an agreement or a plan that will work for all of you. That is if he is reasonable and y’all are willing to communicate as 2 responsible parents.
I gave my ex EVERYTHING so i could bring the kids home to our home state. We left with what foot in my truck. It took almost a year. Get a lawyer. Find out what he will bargain for. Good luck. I moved for the same reasons.
It amazes me how many women think of their children as possessions you don’t own these tiny people fathers are JUST AS important as mothers…not less…not more. You shouldn’t take them from him just as much as he shouldn’t take them from you. If you do take them and then try to go through the courts AFTERWARDS I hope you get charged with kidnapping and that he gets custody bc that’s selfish as hell
If you want to move then do if you cannot afford to keep a roof over your head let them stay with their dad. You can move into a smaller place you can afford. That will help also. Their is other options other than moving the kids away from their dad
Just move, then he can try something but I doubt it
Well they aren’t just your kids… why can’t they live with thier dad?
Its not about what you want. If you want to move, go. But the kids don’t need to move because you want to lol
I hate the town I live in. I’ve struggled so much, from living with friends and roommates, to living in a trailer with my parents with my kids. To my own trailer. To finally getting my own apartment. I could’ve moved to where my sister lives, to have a better life. But, I stayed. Cause my children’s father lives where we do. And I wouldn’t ever take their father from them. I couldn’t do that too my kids. They need their dad, just as much as they need me
Does he know you’re not coping? If he knows and is not prepared to offer help/support then you absolutely have the right to leave with them for help. Arrange a visiting plan that suits you both. I don’t know the legalities tbh but I wouldn’t hesitate if he’s not supporting🤷🏼♀️
You appeal to the court based on you need to move for emotional or financial support your lawyer amends your parenting plan to school vacations and summers they’ll let you go.
Do you guys have a custody agreement if so you need to go to court and have it revisited. If not technically you can move wherever you’d like.
Well for one you left out dad’s part of being active in the kid’s life is he or isn’t he ,is there hatred between the mother and the father, does the father pay child support ,are you just mad at the father cause he has a girlfriend or a wife ,alot of things you didn’t mention about the father so before you ask for advice on moving out of state then tell the whole story about you and the father so we can give you soon advice ,quit using the kids to get your way just because your the mother!!!
Everyone’s so freaking quick to judge and its so disheartening. We don’t know the whole story. Is he a good dad? Is he a controlling ex? What are the plans for transportation to and from? Can HE afford for the kids to be so far away or will it be a struggle? How much time does he spend with them?
There’s a lot of questions unanswered. If you are struggling, that .eats your children are as well. I would let him know and communicate the issues. If hes unwilling to work with you, I say contact family court and try to go that route. That way what is in the best interest is being looked at by an unbiased 3rd party.
Unless it’s in the custody papers you can’t move then go for it. Especially if the father isn’t helping you. Yes it has to be put in divorce and custody papers
First think it through and make sure you’re okay with him having less time to visit and to go through the struggle of working out travel arrangements. Come up with a few ideas that you think are fair. Sit down with him and try to come to an agreement, if he doesn’t agree go to court and file intent to relocate minors. Don’t leave the state thinking it will be fine, he can file in court and they can make you move back even if you no longer have a house or job. It depends on circumstances and the judge really but I would take chances if its your kids. Be fully prepared
Unfortunately, thats a sticky situation. You can’t go unless you have a good job and a home. Or a judge won’t let you.
I understand your choices. I to need to move out of state with the kids in with family. But I never ever would take their father away from them. Could you imagine if he would do this to you? The pain of not having your children.
Depending on the state you live in… you need to determine who the court has deemed the custodial parent. If you are the custodial parent you need to petition the court with why you need to move the children and what your new plan for visitation with the non custodial parent will be. This needs to be done before you move. The court will either grant you the option to move with the children with a new visitation schedule or will grant the non custodial parent full custody until you are more stable.
With out even knowing circumstances majority of these “moms” are simply saying she can remove kids from the Dad’s life and why he isn’t helping her pay for a place to live. This is what’s wrong with kids and parents these days. So damn sad. If Dad is capable and willing and wants the kids to stay there then that’s their home. They now stay with Dad and Mom moves out of state like she “has to”… But every outcome that should be based around the kids best interest NEEDS more context. We cant say what’s best without knowing their full situation.
As a father he needs to help more so that his kids won’t be homeless in the first place
If dad was obviously helping mom, than mom wouldn’t have too move the kids in with family.
He may not want the kids too go but what is he doing too help his kids stay, he sounds selfish too me
What you need to do first, is find out what you can do legally. You do not want to end up with kidnapping charges. That will not put you in a good light with the courts.
Exactly why I caution people planning out of area moves with small children.
You can take it to court but both parents have to prove to judge why their argument is in the best interest of the children. Moving would alter the other parents relationship with that child and visits would be less frequent so you would have to prove why your decision to move is best.
It totally depends on your circumstances as to what you should do .if there is record of verbal or physical abuse you can leave with no issues. Other than you should definitely go through the courts .
Need the whole story here. Does the dad help out financially with the kids .does he maintain regular contact .are there any court orders in place ?
You have to do what’s best for YOU for your kids NOT the other way around.
You should review your custody agreement
Depends on custody arrangement.
When I needed to move to four hours away from my ex for the same reason, my ex transferred jobs and moved too so he could be close to his daughter. While I was moving back home, he left his friends and his home town to go where he didn’t know anyone because that was where I needed to be to get back on my feet. Our daughter was the priority and he made it work for her regardless of what sacrifice he needed to make.
If he is a dad that does as he should, could he take the kids for a while so
You can get money saved and be in a better position to stay in the town you are in.
Kids need both parents:)
I’m a dad with 50/50 custody. I’d fight for my kids. But I take care of my responsibilities. Is the dad involved if so how much those r questions that need answered. Before decisions are made
Amen to that the kids come first , make your move to what’s going to be best for you and kids he must not be helping. Routing for you.
I need more information. Is it just upsetting the father or is it court ordered visitation? Is he a good dad? Involved parent? How far would you be moving?
Go to court over it. In most states You legally have to notify the courts and let them decide an appropriate parenting time arrangements and determine if the move is a good move for the kids.
My brother signed permission for his ex to move their kids out of state several years ago. It was the biggest mistake of his life.
Are you with the the dad? if not then what’s it to him if he’s not trying to help you knowing you have his kids. Some times you gotta to do what you gotta do as a mother.
You should check with some state agencies for helping get you and your children help so you don’t have to move
I moved with my kids from Texas to California. They visit 4 times a year. It can happen. Call and seek legal aid free advice.
You have to get permission from the court and prove it’s in the children’s best interest. If you have 50/50 custody, it’s going to be extremely hard
It depends what is in the court order/parenting plan.Like with mine I filed and got sole custody and can move without his permission because he never fought it or anything for that matter so it defaulted to me.But each state is different also.
ur kids dad has no say in the matter. visitation can be worked out
You are the boss do what best for your children no for there dad
Take it to court and prove its whats best for the kids. Be willing to meet for drop offs (if possible). Show the court this is for the best.
You will have to go to court and have your parenting plan amended. There’s no other way if the absent parent doesn’t agree. You will be charged with kidnapping if you do it on your own .
Give the kids to dad, then move out of state. Get a job, save up, and go v be ack and get your kids back
Get court verification, otherwise its considered parental kidnapping.
You can’t go more than (typically) 100 miles from where you lived, upon separation. Varies by state
Unless he has a court order saying he has to approve or agree, do it.
Might have to petition the Court?
I would talk to the courts where you live cuz the father does have a say in the matter
If you have full custody it’s your choice where you want to live.
If you’re struggling and need to move and he’s not wanting the Children to move, let him have the kids and you move.
If he has any kind of custody and it is court documented then you have to get his permission but if he has no custody of them then you can move
If he has any custody at all, you can’t move out of state unless he okays it. Otherwise you’ll have to take it to court
I don’t know what state you live in, but I know in my state, a parent can get a court order to stop another parent from moving out of state with the child(ren) and maybe even obtain custody. Maybe if you two can reach some sort of agreement (and in writing) so the court won’t have to be involved. Assuming there is no official custody order already in place. If an order is already in place, there should be instructions about either parent needing to relocate.
If you can provide better for your children I don’t see why a court will refuse do a shared custody agreement
Is he willing to help with half of the bills so you can stay within the state ? Alot of yall are failing to read the part where she is STRUGGLING with her 2 kids. && if he can’t offer her any kind of relief he needs to let her go where the children will be in a better place. Heck why can’t HE move to be closer to the kids? If he wants her to stay local he needs to HELP HER not struggle with his 2 kids to be near him. When a mother is struggling her children struggle. A REAL man would make appropriate arrangements and come to some kind of agreement rather than just saying NO but not offering assistance. Yall weird.
You have to get his approval or you can’t.
Good for him! He should fight to keep them near.
Go through the courts. They will decide and if they go in your favor your ex can’t do anything about it
Go through the courts, they will make the best decision for those children, it depends on custody, agreement, visitations, do not just up and leave, not only will it hurt your kids but can cause serious legal backlash. You haven’t commented back to anyone to clarify if you have custody or not or how much he’s involved so instead of playing guessing games, I suggest you take him to court.
If you can legally move, that’s your answer.
Leave them with him, I’ll be damned if a baby daddy is the reason I struggle.
Look up the legal limits for moving
There are things that come about IF you move, you will probably be responsible for meeting your ex half way for his visitation and the same for their return to you. Seek questions from an attorney so he can explain your rights and your ex’s rights.
Kids best interest must come first there needs to be proper and realistic visitation arrangements put in place before any court will approve and once those arrangements have been made who knows maybe your ex will change his mind without the courts being involved.
In majority of cases its healthier for kids to grow up with both parents having a presence in their life
Goodluck n hope you all find happiness wherever you are. Xx
Unfortunately doing what’s best for your children is legally adhering to the court. Do NOT take any advice that offers to just up and leave if you have never been to court with this man as joint custody is automatic if there is no written document on custody (regardless if your the primary caretaker). What state are you in? Create a paper trail of his lack in responsibility for them. Set up testimony for the out of state help you will be receiving prior to court. Struggling is not an unfit mother so dot your I’s & cross your T’s before court in get it together best you can but if you move out of state you would be liable to return the kids to him because you crossed state lines (inbox me if you like)… I just moved out of state a 3 months ago and child services was called on me w/ lies to the point of saying I skip town and they were unaware etc & that I kidnapped our son but my affairs were already in order && we have custody paperwork not just because I’m his primary caretaker could I take him either but we went before a judge into mediation cpl years prior. Be prepared to fit the travel bills etc when it comes to visitation. How old are the children? You have to prove this is what best for them & not just to be with you either because they will give him custody and tell you, you can move and be granted visitation. Its all in the children’s interest and upbringing
My sister did through the court. She showed family pictures, letters, bills she was paying. If a family member could come to court all the better. They allowed it. I watched her baby. She had a job lined up. During this virus, it’s harder, if you are struggling. Try really hard to state the facts with bills, receipts, everything labeled. Emotion happens. Try and keep it really together. It’s for your children. You want them secure.
Talk to a lawyer if you can legally leave, than do it. If you can’t than demand more in child support. There is no reason you should have to suffer.
Some states require approval to move out of state with the children, and you can end up losing your children if you fail to secure permission for the children to move. Find a legal way to solve your issue, there are sometimes exceptions that cover financial difficulties, or a temporary allowance with a time limit that may or may not need to be agreed upon by both parties.
I don’t listen. I’d simply go to avoid homelessness. That’s when you step up to him and say hun, will you pay the rent? My son’s father left me while pregnant. I had to pick up the pieces. At one point had nothing but dry cheerios to eat . He didn’t have a say at that point. He didn’t want me living in nj withy parents but also didn’t want him living with me in pa. He wantede to get a place near him. But being pregnant with no job due to being sick meant that you couldn’t get what you wanted. You decided to leave me and date, so I had to go with family who can givee the free place to live and a room, even if they struggled before I received temporary benefits. Then I picked myself up. He never came around .
Do you have a court order? If not you can take off… but can’t file for at least 6 months in new state
I got sole legal and physical custody before I left California. He tried to fight it but at 6mths I filed in Oregon and have sole legal and physical here now.
I knew someone going through this as well, her recently ex husband didn’t want her to move with the kids, she up and left with them anyways. Basically lost all rights to her kids. He filed full custody for kidnapping since he had proof of telling her not to take them and judge approved it. So she moved out of state and now has no visit rights basically.
Do it the RIGHT way and go through the courts… if not it can and will bite u n the ass later
The other thing to consider is how well do you get along with your family because moving in together is a whole new ballgame. Your kids are going to be in “their” space. They can make the rules because it is “their” house. The stress of a move and whole new environment for the kids may not be in their best interest. Does your family understand your children’s needs and reaction calmly. Again you are moving in someone else’s home with “their” routine not your routine. I have seen where most times this does not workout good.
This is a legal question and one you shouldn’t get answers from on the internet.
What does your custody agreement say, do you have a custody agreement. If you have a custody agreement the parameters for moving should be in it.
I would definitely meet with a family attorney. I completely understand how you feel. If I hadn’t of had a child with someone from the state im in now, I would’ve moved a long time ago. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with wanting to do what’s best for yourself and the women on here saying you’re in the wrong are absolutely hypocritical bc they’d be the first to tell someone else to do whats best for them in other situations. Now I will say, you do have to remember your children are just as much their fathers as they are yours. Put yourself in his shoes and think of how you would feel if he decided to leave the state