Good morning! I’ve never reached out for advice, but with everything going on in the world, I needed some advice or opinions from some mamas! My ex-boyfriend and I share a 6-year old daughter. He and I have a great co-parenting relationship and an overall good friendship! I’m facing a dilemma at this current moment and can’t seem to figure out the right move to make and/or how to go about it. He works on the road, so he very rarely sees his daughter, which is completely understandable. He arrived back home last night and wanted to pick up our daughter sometime today for about ten days. However, his girlfriend is a respiratory therapist who is in and out of the hospital every day. My concern is, I’ve got a 67-year-old father with AFIB, and if he ever got exposed to the COVID-19 pandemic, I’m just not sure how his body would respond. I am a single mother, so I depend on my parents to help me at times to watch my two daughters as my job often requires early mornings or late nights. I don’t want to upset the father of my child or his girlfriend because I know they’re just trying to make a living like the rest of us during this COVID-,19 crisis, but I’m also aware that I need to do what’s in the best interest of myself, my two daughters and their grandparents! I guess the point behind this long, boring story is, should I allow my daughter to go with her dad today, or should I tell him that until the health crisis has calmed down, I would prefer she remains at home? He lives in a different town than we do, and there was finally a case confirmed yesterday in his town, and where his girlfriend works, there are now two confirmed cases (we live in rural areas). Any advice would be SO much appreciated!
As long as they are doing everything to keep safe in their home I say let her go to her dads. Talk to him and see what he says.
It’s definitely a hard decision right now, I would find out what precautions are being taken at there house, making sure the girlfriend is being extra careful which I’m sure she is! But as long as they are being safe & taking everything seriously I would let her go
I’m not letting my son go to his dads until this is all over. You just never know! Better safe than sorry! Plus I have very young kids so if he were to go then he could possibly bring something home. That’s just me tho.
The question is do you have a visitation schedule done with the courts? Because those are all still standing and have to be adhered to just like any other time.
No just talk to her dad…already everyone is quarantined these days so he will understand it
Keep your daughter home. Her father should understand, if he truly loves her. Call your attorney.
Keep her home. They should understand, especially the girlfriend.
My husband is a respiratory therapist and there are 61 cases at his hospital. It’s very scary. We have 5 kids here as well and I babysit. As long as they take the standard precautions all should be ok. My girls dad rather them stay here then visit with him every other weekend. Makes no sense but I’ll take iy
Courts are standing by court order visitations, there are lawyers posting on their pages that they have been asked this question. They are pretty much tired of the question being asked.
If it was the other way around and your daughter was with him most of the time, would you want him to allow her to stay with you for 10 days?
If you have a court order for visitation you have to uphold it still right now. Seeing both parents is essential.
That’s a difficult question, but I say if the gf works healthcare she’s probably already been exposed but as long as she’s changing clothes and showering as soon she gets home from work and not showing symptoms your daughter should be ok going over there but me as a mother I would still be concerned. Maybe there’s a way they can still see each other I was going to say a park but they’re closed too
As someone who just left the hospital and has a compromised immune system, I would say no. But u cant live in fear. It’s hard to know what to do. I had to pretty much just do the same thing with my daughter. The visit will always be available, those are loved ones you are risking.
I sent my kids to their dads for quarantine it’s appalling to me how many of you act like the father is a subpar parent like he can’t manage to take care of his kid as well as you can, at home, in a house, same as you’re doing.
14 days of self isolation before daughter can go there. If he was on the road, you dont know where he has been and who/what he was in contact with. People have to self isolate for 14 days. With his GF in and out of a hospital helping all the sick people (bless her), it would (to me) be an even bigger issue because she can bring something home.
I get he wants to see her…but taking her before self isolating for those 14 days to make sure hes in the clear isnt smart. Once the 14 days of him isolating is done…let her go. She does need to see her daddy. That’s what I think.
I would keep her home. That’s just me though. And a good parent would understand that.
Be smart people, play it safe!
We sent our son to his moms for a visit. She didn’t abide by the stay at home order so we have forgone our time with him bc we simply can’t risk contamination. It’s a very tough call to make but you have to protect EVERYONE. We have 2 more children here and an elderly parent to protect. You can still have her make calls and video chats.
Unfortunately therez not much you can do. If there are custody papers stating when he can have the child, you have to still abide by them. If you talked to dad and he doesnt want to stop visitation, you would have to petition it in court and have a good reason.
hospital workers are taking all precautions they can not to expose others to covid, it’s a scary time but kids need both parents especially during scary times
Tell him no and that until this is over you will let them video chat talk on the phone but his girlfriend being in the medical field will understand I’m traveling on the road meeting people and her being around sick people they both should understand if not and they argue with you have your pediatrician send them and you a email stating that it would not be in the child’s interest right now to be around the two of them that them being around people and her being around sick people could bring the virus to your child and your parents and you so it is best that they not visit at this time and this letter you could take to court if necessary
Let her go to her dads. If you worked in healthcare or over the road, would you want to be denied your time with her?
Speak to her dad and step mom; they may completely understand and be willing to try to find a workable compromise.
But if this is court ordered then you can’t force them to not take their time nor legally withhold it unless you attempt to go back to court for a temporary order.
Honestly I wouldn’t let her go…he can see her by coming over and staying outside while shes inside at a distance only because you dont know who he’s been around and the gf and it’s all about keeping ourselves and kids safe…tell him to understand the way if it was him having her and you wanted to see her…you could see her from a distance
Imo, it’s an unnecessary risk. If you can talk with him and assure him you’ll give him extra time when this passes, that might be the safest option. Good luck, it’s a hard spot for all if you, and so sad for your little one.
In the end this is ALL about keeping the child safe. Doesn’t matter who is missing what time. If he can’t agree to leave her in place until this blows over I would petition the court or take it to mediation.
The rule from the state and on the news as follows: children must remain by the parent where child currently is and not going ftom the one to the other.
YOUR JUST AS LIKELY TO INFECT YOUR FATHER. Lets be smart your working most likely in contact with people.
My ex and I decided to keep the kids at home for the time being. Our 18yo lives with him, the other 2 with me. 18yo and 16yo have asthma. Dad and gma (lives with them) are high risk. We have decided that it’s best for everyone’s safety at the time. They are free to communicate at any time.
Surely with his girlfriends job they would understand the risks id have a chat with him n tell him when its all over he could take them for what ever lenght he wants n bring them wherever he wants! Its different if they have been self issolating but not when their both in n out of work
Have you tried talking to him about your concerns and finding out what they’re doing at their place to lessen the risk? Ask his opinion. Take advantage of that great co-parenting relationship!
My ex and I are going about custody as usual. We don’t have orders in place but it’s what is best for her. We are both isolated at our respected homes so she is just travelling between the 2 for now. I understand your situation is different but I’m sure his GF is taking the precautions of stripping down and showering as soon as she gets home. Or maybe see if he would be willing to visit her on his own if you express your concerns maybe he would understand.
Let her go, but voice your concerns.
A close friend of ours works at the hospital. When they go in, they have to go through a decontamination chamber, suit up, then go on the floor. When they leave, they have to go through decontamination again, suit down, then go through decontamination once more. I just thought you could use some insight on what they do to protect themselves and their families. It’s a worrisome situation, no doubt, and I understand your concern. I would let her go.
I personally split custody with my children’s father. They go to their dads house. I just ask that he doesn’t allow others around till this calms down.
Let her go to her Dad’s.
If his girlfriend works in healthcare then she knows more about P.P.E than the average person and it’s more than likely safe for the kid to go.
It’s not a lay down the law situation. It’s a talk to them situation. Voice your concerns and come to an agreement together.
Tell him that he has to wait,you don’t want your babies sick
Do you use ppe while working? If not, then the respiratory therapist is probably safer to be around than you. I’m not trying to be rude, I promise, but those who use ppe are better protected than those who don’t.