I am worried for my daughter to go to daycare: Advice?

I’m 30 weeks pregnant and due September. I get 6ish weeks maternity leave. I’m active duty Navy. My husband works because we can’t afford life on just my paycheck. We are looking into Daycare. I get a reduced price at the navy daycare near my house. I’m worried about my baby in daycare. I’m trying not to worry but I have heard a lot of horror stories and abuse cases from Daycares and I’m just really worried. How do I protect my baby while I have to put her in daycare. What should I do? She would probably be in daycare from 7:30- 1400 4-5 days a weeks. Daycare scares me.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am worried for my daughter to go to daycare: Advice?

Try the daycare on your base.


Ask if they have a app where you can look in on her from time to time throughout the day! Not all daycares have this, but its definitely worth a try!!!

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Daycare is very scary. I was in the same boat having to put my son in daycare at 6 weeks old. I just would take tours of the daycare and ask very detailed questions. Finally I found one I really liked and that’s where he’s been at for about 6 months now. They love him and he loves them. I know it’s scary mama.


The daycares on bases are usually pretty nice. My kids loved the one at fort Bragg. Go check it out and take a tour ask all the questions!


Look at it this way, you literally only hear about the horror stories….because that is what sells. We love our daycare. Just do your due diligence and look into the daycares in your area.


The CDCs on base are usually very good. You can take a tour of them if you want some peace of mind. You also have to keep in mind that sometimes there’s a wait list for care. Our CDC (Air Force) some people have been on the list for over a year. There should also be FCC providers on your base that you should be able to look into.

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Talk to other parents , check the facility, teachers experience and qualifications, pick one with cameras that can be check by you through your phone and always always show up unexpectedly.

If you can afford a sitter , do it for at least a couple of months, try to find someone who can go to your house so you can set cameras

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Go and visit them.
I used to be a teacher and that’s my biggest piece of advice with daycares and schools.

A school could be good on paper but that doesn’t mean it’s good for your kid.

Go visit them, have a chat with staff you’ll know

It’s like driving a car… necessary

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I would find a smaller in home day are maybe :woman_shrugging: such a tough situation…

I’ve worked as a daycare teacher for 10 plus years, some good and some bad. My daughter is also in daycare, and I was so picky. My biggest thing would be teacher turnover! How long has staff been there? If there’s alot of teachers coming and going, you know they don’t treat their staff right which makes for unhappy teachers. Also go on the EEC website and look at their violations. You can see very detailed reports of what rules they’re not following. I know it’s hard, but if its the right fit it will be easy after time!

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Go visit them, see if they have cameras on that you can access. You should make a list of questions to ask in case you forget.

Take a tour of the daycare you’ll be taking your baby to. Talk to the staff there. See if you can look at the rooms where they’ll have your baby. Talk to the head honcho. See what the rules are and what you need to provide for your baby. Explain your concerns and see if they have cameras there that you can dial into when you’re on your breaks during the day. If you don’t like what you see, look into possible alternatives with personnel wives on or close to the base.

Tour several daycares, ask questions and request parent references. I do this for our current daycare/preschool.

Visit the daycare unannounced. Not all daycare are abusive. When you visit the daycare…listen to your mommy gut. If you get a feeling something isn’t right. It’s probably not. Some have cameras you can see thru an app.

This makes me so sad for USA mom’s. I couldn’t imagine putting a newborn in daycare. It was hard enough with my 1 yr old


If you are in the navy active you should get way more than 6 weeks. Army is 12 base. I’d check into that first.
Daycare scares me too. I won’t even lie. We avoided for three years thankfully but just make sure you shop around. Don’t just go somewhere because it’s first open. Ask questions. Listen to your gut and vibes. See if there’s ways to cut back spending so maybe your husband work part time for a bit.

I don’t think there’s an answer. You can’t really trust anywhere. That’s the scary thing about parenthood, you get a true look at how horrible the world is. Yet we are stuck in a revolving 9-5 so we can’t be with our children like we need to be.
First daycare I put my child in, was horrible. They said they had cameras to watch the children etc. And an app we could use.
Then wasn’t until after we paid and went in for the first day. They said parents couldn’t view the cameras, only them. I also caught them lying about updates on the app.
I had to pull my child out of there.

I’m also pregnant. I’m worried about this too, especially due to abuse I endured as a child and at daycare. However, I’m trying to work through it. I’m realizing that I don’t want my daughter to miss out on life because I’m so scared. She’s 3 and we want to put her in Headstart. I’m also scared of putting her in school (bc of the shootings, it was hard to go back to the grocery store and take her with me as well). But What am i going to do? Put her in a bubble? Smother her with fear and strictness? I’m literally writing a book about a mother who did this. How full circle that’s come!

So I’m going to try to see my therapist, work through it, teach my daughter about not keeping secrets and good touch/bad touch, teach her to stand up for herself and to run when she needs to. and hope that I’ve done enough to protect her from those scary moments. And to protect my own heart from trying to stifle her as well.
Hope you find some peace mama.


I’am making over $140 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18956 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

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Being in the Navy, you should get 12 weeks. 6 weeks maternity and 6 weeks primary leave

Definitely go tour the places. Make sure you ask questions about what you need to know and share your concerns. If they blow them off that’s a red flag. If they listen and give examples on how they keep the kids safe, green flag. Most centers will also give you updates if you call them throughout the day. Depending on what your center does sometimes the teachers can have direct contact with you. I work at an early learning center with Littles and our teachers communicate very clearly and often with their parents, sometimes even sending pictures. It all depends in the center though not all of them run the same.

I Get Paid 0ver $ 107 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 13969 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The p0ssibility with this is limitles

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This was me. I became a stay at home mom. In the end I was working just to pay childcare, and it was not worth it for me.
We sold one car, and became a one car family.
And we stopped subscriptions to other things.
We are also in an area where pay for what I have degree wise and experience wise, was not equal.

Ask local mom groups their experience with on base daycare. Go for a tour. Compare the ratios between children and adults.

I would check on everything and do an unannounced visit to check on things and call through out the day that will show them that you are a mother who will do what it takes to be there

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I’d look for a daycare that has cameras so you can see your child. Look for signs, if a baby is nonstop crying once they’re home, then it’s probably a sign that it’s not a good fit. Look for any bruising, etc. It’s scary to trust someone with your children, but there are good ones out there.

That’s a common fear every new parent faces!
Maybe ask online in a local mom group to see which daycare are best and some of their experiences to put your mind at ease.
Good luck mama!

Talk to other mums that use that daycare and get recommendations

I Get Paid 0ver $ 107 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 13995 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The p0ssibility with this is limitles

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Make sure you find a place with appropriate staffing…ratio of students/teachers …i had an incident…where a 4yr old with behavioral problems ripped out a chunk of my 1yr old babies hair …just bc he was there in his way in the heat of the moment …where the f was the teachers???:woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:and why is a 4yr old in with the babies …when its strictly for the lil tots … .still mad …switched daycares …now my little guy …laughs when we pull into the parkinglot …and is tons happier at home too …just follow your mom instinct …its real …

Relax daycare will be fine.Visit the daycare, and check their routine. I think that will help you.

I made sure to get a daycare that had cameras, and an app that I could check in on them any time they were there and see what was going on.

I am giving you advice as a infant daycare teacher. I have worked in daycare since I graduated high school and I absolutely love my job. I have worked every age group since starting but I have my own room lead teacher in infants. My boss is very very particular on who works in that room and she always has been. I love my kiddos and their families . Not all daycares are bad. You can call our center every 5 mins to every hour stop in whenever you like to check on your little one we don’t care how many times a day it is. I don’t know what state you are in but each state has a state website that list everyday care in the area and you can check on there state inspections and everything . OCDEL is in charge of daycare facility at least in my state they are. I am in pa so our state is different from your state. Go into each facility and check it out . If you decided not to use the one on base. I don’t know if that one would be different guidelines or not. I do know that there learning standards and there lesson plans are probably going to be more stricture when it comes to teaching.

Military daycare is highly rated. The only complaint I’ve heard is that they change the child’s clothing the second they spit up, so infants go through a lot of clothing every day that must be washed. Talk to other moms about how they like or don’t like the daycare. That could help reassure you.

Young one, talk with other Moms- ask for a tour, and see if they have literature regarding qualifications, and/or educational certification of staff. Most Commercial/Licensed Daycare providers have these. Also you might check them out on internet. :v:t4::sunflower::feather:

I’am making over $140 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 18977 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

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Daycares on military bases are top notch. Your best bet is to go to the daycare you’ll be putting your child in and ask for tours. Go different days at different times of day to see how things are handled there when they don’t expect visitors. Doing your research is the best thing you can do. Build a rapport with them and let them know you’re going to be as active in her care as you can be given job limitations.

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Can your husband work opposite hours?

7.30 to 2.30 should be ok. It’s the stretch after that to 6pm where most kids struggle

My daughter in law was in the navy when she had her 1st child. She used the day care on base. they were awesome with my granddaughter and would send my daughter in law pictures throughout the day

I absolutely wouldn’t send mine to any daycare. I’d cut back my bills or husband can work second shift.

I full on REFUSE to put my children in a daycare. And in the end for our family it’s cheaper in the end for me to be a stay at home mom and hubby to work full time than pay out the a** for daycare for 4 kids lol

I cannot believe moms have to be ripped from their newborn babies even before the moms uterus has fully healed!! It’s even illegal to take puppies from their moms at that age… I couldn’t ever imagine leaving my babies :sob: especially that first year of life. I’m so sorry you moms have to deal with this.


Idk if the navy daycare has to follow the same guidelines as civilian daycares but you can try and see if they have any violations.

Put little cameras on her toys

My kids were always with my Mom or my sisters. I truly feel for all you mothers who have to put your children in daycare. I know it has to be hard but I have seen some great advice in here. Love and hugs. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Make sure they have cameras, as their policy on diaper changes, outfit changes, also ask how they are with allergies! My son was in a daycare and I hadn’t known my son had allergies. He was 16 months. I told daycare NOT to introduce any new foods, that I would do that at home. They had a list. Well one day while I was at work she decided to give him peanut butter…That was when I found out she was violating that part of our deal (she claimed she "did it all the time prior with other food and didn’t have an issue)…It was also when I found out my son is DEADLY allergic to nuts. (Anaphylaxis)So I had to leave work early during a big rush with noone to fill my spot… lost my job…To go see my boy who was all swollen and trouble breathing and it was just … Terrifying. After that I let her know what allergist said. She told me “I don’t deal with special needs kids” and that if he stayed in her care she would NOT feed him separately when his allergens were present, that she would NOT specifically clean the highchair he uses to insure the kid before him didn’t leave nut protein on it from nut items they eat…and more…Better safe than sorry.

Stay home and look after your child then

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No way would my tiny babas be going to anyone . No way . He’s 2 and I won’t even put him in .
So I got a job where I can legally take him with me . … school bus driving !

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I understand completely! However, the military daycare sounds like a good deal. A daycare will have multiple helpers so the chances of something happening to baby without someone seeing it would be minimal.

First of all, I’m so very sorry you only get 6 weeks at home with your baby. That is so wrong. Can your husband get family leave? He could start his leave when you have to return to work. It’s not a solution, but it gives the baby extra time at home with a parent.

military day care is the best they are monitored and always have enough staff

Making big decisions is anxiety producing for tons of people. Add in pregnancy hormones and it’s easy to be a mess. Take it one day at a time and see what happens.

My husband and I worked opposite shifts so our son never had to go into daycare. I worked Grave and he worked days or I would work swing shift. That is an option for people and I don’t understand why you would rather put your child’s care into the hands of strangers rather than work a different shift so one of you is always there?!?! Boggles my mind.

Be a stay at home mother