I asked my husband a hypothetical question and didn't like his answer...advice?

My husband and I were randomly talking and our kids came up…I forget how we even got on this topic but i was like…who would you choose to save if something happened and you could only choose me or our kids to save…he said you…i was like wait what? NOOO only ever choose the kids,and now I am concerned…what would your husband say in this situation? I would 100% go for my kids so honestly this through me off.


I feel like that kinda goes with the whole “save yourself before you save someone else” scenario. Maybe he knows saving you increases the chances of saving the kids


My fiance know to save our kids lol

I asked my husband and he told me :" you would save the kids and I would save you (obviously kids is with me at that time then)" his words lol :sweat_smile: so kinda makes sense if your husband thinks like this then :slightly_smiling_face:

We have talked about this and it’s always our kid’s that’s the way it should be

My husband would say our son. That’s what I would want

This is just a misunderstanding on his side. I had this talk with my husband and his instinct was to say me because he thought that’s what I wanted him to pick. Which it wasn’t, save our kids. Then he was like oh yeah, a duh moment if you will and also explained the reasoning and now he 100% knows save the kids. 🫶🏼
I don’t think it’s anything to cause a fuss over, just explain it.


It is scientifically proven that in a life and death situation when we have to choose who to save, we will always save the person we have had the longest relationship/bond with. This is why choosing between a 9 year and a baby, we will.always choose the 9 year old.

Honestly, I struggle with this.

Truthfully and honestly, I can always have more children. My children will never have another mother. I think it’s hard when you don’t agree and don’t see eye to eye on your hypothetical choices, but the truth is when it comes down to it you will never know how he will react until he’s in that moment. He may not react the way he thinks he will at all. Don’t hold too much stock in a “what if”. You wouldn’t break your bond for a hypothetical of something less major, like what if he lost his left hand- would he get a prosthetic or not, and this is still just a fairytale even though it’s something so big. :woman_shrugging:t2: just my opinion.


I guess their will never be that answer unless his ever in that situation to have to. I don’t see it as choose who? I would more see it as I’m sure he would save who he could at the time, but people do freeze also or just save themselves, it’s just one of those things unless ur in that situation … u never know.

I just asked my husband and he said the kids first then he wouldn’t stop til he got me if he could

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When i was pregnant and it was a matter of me or the baby my husbands answer was me. Because we can always get pregnant again but he cant replace me. Now that we have kids ages 6,3,and 9 months his answer would probably be them.

Don’t hold an answer to a hypothetical question against him. Certainly not one that puts him in what would be an extremely horrible place to be in, he could had thought you asked bc you were having doubts or something about the two of you… if so he answered to ease your mind. Plus in most horrible situations (non hypothetical ones) fight or flight kicks in and until you are actively in the situation you have no clue what you would actually do. If he is a good husband and father that would be the worst situation he could possibly be in and I’m sure he would do his best to save both.

Maybe he said you thinking thats what you want to hear so he could possibly avoid an argument.

No one really knows what they would do. :confused: even people who train a good portion of their lives for life or death scenarios may not choose they way they were trained to choose depending on the circumstances.

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I asked my husband this same question last week and he told me he’d save the kids

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My husband would 1000% save me before the kids. And I don’t think anyone is wrong no matter how they answer that question. Why would you ask something like that anyway?


So ask him to explain his answer… only he knows why he answered as he did.

I asked this question, but only during childbirth. If I got pregnant again would you save me or the baby if something were to happen? and he said me, because he would not want our current daughter to grow up without a mother


You asked him a hypothetical question, he answered best he could, now your mad? Because you didn’t like the answer.

Don’t ask hypothetical questions if you don’t like the hypothetical answer. Pick a fight on things that matter

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I just asked my boyfriend this a few weeks ago! Im pregnant and said what if something happens to me during delivery and you have to choose? It was random on my end to, but then we decided we needed to talk about it because we also have two other kids! First he said he’d save me because of our other kids. And honestly now I need to go back to this conversation with him because I forgot what we decided :woman_facepalming:t2:

When we just had our new baby four months ago, if it came down to saving me or the baby my husband said me. Because we can try to have more kids and we already had two kids at home that still needed their mom. Now I just asked him if he had to choose to save me now or the three kids, he said the kids. I’m not mad about that.

My husband would choose the kids.
unless it was during a delivery of a baby, cuz I have 3 amazing kids earth side that need their momma.
He knows this because we have had this talk, the reason he would choose the kids is because he knows what I would want him to do in each situation.
He loves me enough to respect that.
Maybe it’s just a convo that needs to be had between you 2.
To be honest it could be as simple as he thought he was being cute and showing you how much he loved you by that answer. If it truly does bother you though, have a serious talk about it.

I mean this is the worst question in the world. And also very scenario based. During child birth ? Save me? Drowning? Save whoever you think will live. House on fire? Save who you can.


So you asked him a hypothetical question and he gave you his honest hypothetical answer and now you’re mad? Idk this seems like trying to pick an argument :woman_shrugging:t2: You wanted to know what he would do and he told you.


My husband told me he would save me before our kids

Just asked my husband and he said I would try to save everyone but he chose the kids. He said we have lived our lives. I would chose my kids as well just for the simple fact my husband is more capable for himself and the kids are not. It is also more mama instinct for our kids. I wouldn’t think about this to much. You never actually know until you are in that situation which I hope is never the case for your family.

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Don’t ask hypothetical questions if you’re going to be upset with the answer. Especially since it’s hypothetical and the likelihood of him every having to choose is very slim. This isn’t a fight worth having.


Of course you would chose your children because we have this connection as mothers to our children that our partners don’t have. We’re the ones who grew them inside of us and who gave birth they did not so it’s different for men. I know I would chose my child first then my mom then the animals then myself. Now if I had a partner I would hope he would help and get everyone to safety and not just stand there dwindling his fingers but who knows,


I’ve asked my husband this question… he chose the dog…


My husband said “my daughter” without hesitation. So naturally I asked what about your boys and your wife and he had to pause for a second before saying “oh yea I’ll try my best” and that’s when I learned to stop asking questions I don’t want answers too. Lol


My bf and I had this discussion when I was still pregnant and he always said our son and he still does to this day. I’ve also told him if he ever changed his mind and saved me instead I would hate him forever, because I don’t want to live in a world without my kiddo.

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Jesus, do you get mad at him for things he does in your dreams too? It’s a fake scenario and when actually tested no one knows what they will do for sure. My uncle chose to save his wife because they already had a child and didn’t want to live without her. Luckily they saved the baby as well and it all worked out. My man knows if we r in a situation to grab whoever he can just like I would do but if it came down to it I would use his body to float my kids to safety…


Your probably internalizing way to much,more than likely he said you bc he was having the conversation with you

Regardless of the answer, you were going to feel some kind of way. There is never a right answer for that question.

If you cant agree just make sure you have noterized paperwork done that states that so the decision isnt up to him. .


This is absolutely ridiculous. You can’t get mad at a hypothetical answer. People react differently in situations. Im a medic and I see it all the time on scenes, fight or flight is hard to over come and often time people freeze. You can’t honestly say you’d choose your kids because you have not been in that situation and self preservation is a thing. Just because he said he would choose you doesn’t mean he is a bad parent. Even the pregnancy one like “oh who would you choose” is so slim to actually happening because there are multiple teams there to take care of you and the baby. Stop asking hypothetical questions and getting mad at a hypothetical response. Especially if it happened it would be an adrenaline fueled reaction and they still wouldn’t be wrong.


Maybe he was just trying to please you with his answer and didn’t wanna get into it! :woman_shrugging:t2: Dumb question to ask any man , I’d say!!!

This is a perfect example of cornering your partner into a lose lose situation … he never wants to even think about the situation about possibly losing any of his family.

That’s absurd to ask a hypothetical question and then get bent out of shape about the answer. Nobody truely knows what they would do in any hypothetical situation.


Do not ask questions hypothetical or not if you are not ready for the answers.
Asking advice or getting “ mad / concerns “ about something that has not happened is beyond silly .

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Until your in that situation, I don’t think you truly know who you’re going to pick. As Mom’s we obviously would jump and say our kids, but there a million different what ifs that could happen where maybe they aren’t the answer. Don’t get bent out of shape over hypothetical, it’s a good way to ruin a relationship.

I would be more mad if he said he would save the kids :sweat_smile::rofl: Nicki-jean Cole

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Probably because he knows you will go after them. So if he goes after you. Then he can have you and the ones in your arms

If you don’t like the answer don’t ask the question.

Don’t ask questions like that

I DESPISE hypothetical questions like this.
Quite honestly they’re too vague.
Unless you ask you don’t know what kind of scenario they’ve conjured in their mind or the reasoning behind the response.

My husband and I had a EXTREMELY hypothetical discussion a while back about pregnancy and having to choose between me and the baby (I’m 100% done having kids so this is hypothetical).
And my answer was this “It’s not that simple. How far along am I? What’s the prognosis for me and the baby? Is there any scenario where we can both be saved even if it does cause some complications? (I’ve lived through the last one btw. My son has a paralyzed arm from a birth injury but we both survived where 50 years ago only one of us might have)”

Maybe in your husband’s mind, he thought by saving you the both of you together could save the kids.
Maybe the scenario his mind created left kids with a extremely poor prognosis. Maybe he would choose you to let you tell him to choose the kids.
It’s really impossible to tell unless you’re willing to discuss it.

I’ve had similar conversations with my husband and a couple of others (remember I’ve lived through a situation that it came very close to my child or me) and faced with it…they couldn’t have made a choice.
I did though. I was still cognizant enough to make a decision and it needed to be my decision. No one else’s…mine.
I was willing to choose my kid (in case you’re wondering)

Maybe he was giving you the answer he thought you wanted to hear?

It’s an answer that is too hard to answer because you don’t know how it’s going to happen you would only be able to save who ever is closest to you

if he chooses you and you choose the kids everyone is saved!

So asked a question he gave a honest answer an now your mad at him

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You save the children as they need a parent to take care of them . An adult can look after themselves .

These type of questions are only asked to start fights. In a real situation you’re not going to much thought into it. You will save who you can. Like there’s a fire, the kid closer but he runs past the child to get you out of the house? Seriously that’s not how it works.

Don’t ask stupid questions just to start a fight.

Is this where he said FTK :rofl:

Geez. I feel sorry for your husband. That kind of question is only out to make him fail. What was he supposed to say… ah you can die.

My husband would choose me I will aways choose my kids. I think it’s because the person carrying the baby is more connected, we already risked our lives for them, we will always make sure they are okay

No one really knows the answer or what they would do unless a situation occurs but I’ve just got to say that for me it would always be the kids but I know full well if we had a fire or something my partner would 100% save his PlayStation before me or the kids so :tipping_hand_woman:t3:


In a true emergency situation, it’s not always so black and white. I wouldn’t put this energy into my family.

Mama. Husband hasnt attached to kids when first born.

Kinda a sick question with no right answer, don’t ya think?

This is like being mad for something someone said in a dream :joy:
You know damn well if he had said the kids you would’ve been upset too and posted whining about him not wanting to save you

I had a dream the other night where we were on a bridge and it collapsed. We ended up in the water, in the car, with our two young kids in the back. He was knocked out. I waited tried teaching the kids how to hold their breath so i could get them up to the surface. I broke the window, and swam with my two small kids in my arms as fast as I could, threw them up on the land, made sure they’re breathing and went back for my husband.
I told him about this dream and his first response was " let me be. If we’re ever in that situation, get the kids and let me be. I’ve had a good run. And as long as you guys are safe, I’ll be just fine. You cannot risk your life to safe mine. They need atleast one parent "
And it would be my answer to him too.
You save the kids. Always.


Stupid question anyway!

You’re mad at a hypothetic question. How downright stupid.