This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.
QUESTION:
"I have had problems with my in laws for years. So many mean comments on the sly by my mother in law which I always just brushed aside to keep the peace. Recently her comments were too mean and I had to calmly state that she hurt my feelings. Next day she enters my home unannounced and starts verbally abusing me and even went to throw something at me (in front of my small child and husband). We went over to 'hash things out'. She came up with excuse after excuse and called me a liar an that i was imagining things.It was truly a terrible situation which I cannot seem to heal from. My husband is now saying lets move on but I am not sure if I can handle a life of this bullying an now abuse (especially if there are always convenient excuses that give her a get out of jail free card). What can I do? I am even considering leaving my husband despite loving him because I cannot cope with this treatment anymore. And cutting them out of my life isn't possible."
RELATED: AITA For Telling My In-Laws Exactly Where My Husband Was When I Was In Labor?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"This is crazy and extremely toxic for you and your children. If your husband can’t get his mother in line and protect you like he should then I’d get rid of the whole family. No one deserves to be treated this way and you can’t just “move on” of the situation isn’t handled. That’s just sweeping it under the rug hoping the dirt doesn’t come back out. Which it will!"
"Your spouse needs to step up and calm mommy dearest down."
"If he won’t choose you over her in this situation or make his mother stop then I’d leave. I had to make my husband do it before. He chose to marry you. You are the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Not his mommy."
"Your husband should absolutely be defending you."
"If your husband can’t back you I would leave. If she put her hands on you or throws stuff at u call the cops. Tell your husband she is not allowed over anymore."
"Disengage with that part of the family. And your husband needs to step up and speak up. I rarely interact with my in laws and that side of his family, they are toxic and I dont want it around. It took me a long time to get here but the mess and stress is not worth it. I wouldnt leave my husband, but then again he stands up to them as well, which is something your husband needs to do. I mean he was there when she threw something at you!"
"Stand up for yourself… and don’t be calm about it. That’s narcissistic behavior… lashing out and being abusive to you and turning it around with excuses and making it your fault. Tell your husband that you’re happy to move on from it, but she’s no longer welcome at your home. If he wants to visit with his family, he can go to their house. Although, it sounds like you have bigger issues. If she is acting this way towards you and your husband is allowing it, he’s no better than she is. I understand it’s his mother, but when he married you and had children with you, he was to make HIS family his priority. One way or another, you need to defend yourself."
"Lock your doors and not let her just walk in. Do not invite them for a meal as you do not deserve the way she treats you. If she does not stop, don’t let her see the kids. That’s harsh but they should not hear her mistreat you."
"Your problem is your husband. He’s been around his mother all of his life and he’s used to her being who she is. He never had to protect any one else from her. I would give him a chance to move my family away from the abuse or I would leave him with her. You need to move far enough away from her that she would never come unannounced. That’s why it’s called “your home”. If you can’t be safe there it’s not your home."
"You need to tell your husband. There is no way I would have let my mother treat my wife like that and I was a momma’s boy. Your husband chose you and his responsibility is to you and your happiness. You need to be honest with him."
Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!
READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW: