I can't stand being my in house anymore!

I am in desperate need of some third party advice. Its kind of a long post,sorry. My husband and I have been together 6 years,married 4 1/2. We have been through 2 miscarriages,and finally the birth of our beautiful son who is almost 2. A year ago, I found out my husband had been cheating on me for our entire relationship. All online,but with several different women,on several different accounts he made and kept secret,and in many different ways,ranging from flirtation to sending dirty pics and videos to each other and taking nasty. I left. But after we talked,I wanted to try and save our family. Things started to get better and he became a new man. But 6 months later,his entire family got evicted for not paying their rent the entire time covid was goning on. His dad,sister,brother in law,brother,and our neice. They asked if they could come and stay and we said no,because we didnt have the room,and honestly his family is toxic. No one works. At all. The brother and brother in law play video games all day,his sisters lies compulsively and is always on her phone never watching her daughtering,and his dad is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. His sister threw everything she could in his face about how he was gonna let them all sleep in the streets with no where to go and what horrible people we were. How her husband couldnt work because he has horrible anxiety and its to much on him. (I know all about anxiety,as i have it,but he is honestly just lazy and doesnt want to work. He makes up every excuse in the book) Well they burned all other bridges with every family member they have because they are CONSTANTLY begging for money for stuff and when you cant help them she will cuss you out,and when you do they never pay you back,were already out 500 dollars in a year letting the "borrow" money that they were gonna give back the next day. Needless to say my husband caved and they came here the first week of March. We told them they had 2 weeks,he HAD to get a job,and they had to pay to live here to help with groceries,power bill,ect. They were getting over 600 dollars in foodstamps A MONTH. We get no assistance. All our bills and groceries come out of ny husbands check. Well 2 months pasted,they were still here,werent paying "because they had their own bills they needed to pay,we just didnt understand". They got their stimulus money and tax money,and blew through every bit. Then when they were broke and we wouldnt buy them cigarettes,he finally got a job. We told them they HAD to be out by the end of July,because they are staying in my sons room amd hes staying in our room. Welp theyve blew through every pay check. He quit. Got a different job he never goes to,still dont pay. They always have an excuss,but its always a lie. THEY WONT LEAVE. My husband has changed back 100% and i have about had it completely with all of this. Their child is 4 and shes mean. She dont listen. She takes all my sons toys,but he can not touch anything of hers or she hits him. And now that hes hitting her back,my child is the mean one. They have 4 cats that are always on the counters,using the bathroom everywhere,and have tore my furniture apart. I told my husband his dad can stay since hes trying,and his younger brother(just turned 18) could stay,but that i was losing my mind and they need to go. Its been 6 months. I need my house back. He acts like im in the wrong,saying he wants the out to but whats he suppose to do,kick them out on the street. Which i understand,but now we are stuggling financially and theyre living it up going out and doing whatever they want because we pay everything. The only way we got "rent" which was 250 a month to help with everything was to not pay the cable and internet bill,and when they discovered that he couldnt play his video games and the kids couldnt play on her tablet,they would all of a sudden have the money to pay it. Am I wrong? Or should my husband do what has to be done to get our family and life back. He is literally driving me away. I cant stand even being in my house anymore. Help please.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I can't stand being my in house anymore! - Mamas Uncut

Put your foot down and kick them out.

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Leave your husband, if he doesn’t kick them out,you will get child support and will be much better off

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Give them a written notice you want them out in 30 days. Have Sheriff deliver it. In 30 days have Sheriff back to enforce . Let them go to some kind of shelter.

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They should have used their stimulus and tax $ to get a place to live! Tell your husband either they go or you and your son are leaving! Honestly if CPS shows up yall would be in a lot of trouble! Sounds very unsanitary for children to be living in!

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I would set a date and tell your husband if they aren’t gone on this day you and your child will be gone. Then he can pay alimony child support and take care of his family.

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Leave. Stay elsewhere. If they aren’t gone and the house hasn’t be cleaned up. Don’t go back. That’ll show you; your husband is never gona prioritise you and your son.

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Take your kid and leave hun. Child needs to see mommy happy. If ur husband went back to his cheating ways then why stay in a crazy house. Do what’s best for u and esp ur child

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Get those cats first, take them to a no kill shelter, drop them off so they have a better chance of having a more stable environment…. Then go back, pack all their shit up, toss it outside & change the locks!! They’re no longer welcome & no longer live there!!

Tell your husband that either they leave or you do. Period, end of story!

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If he didn’t get them out he could go with them.

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Take your baby & leave… When (& only when) they grow up & pay their way in their own home/homes (like grown adults)… Do u consider going back. Make him choose you or nothing!!

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Get rid of all of them, including your husband.

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The time for them to GO would have been when they had their taxes and stimulus money! If they didn’t leave then, they aren’t planning to. Either go the legal route and have them served by a sheriff and evicted, or if I were you, I’d leave. Even if it’s just temporary, to wake your husband up. If you have anyone or anywhere to go stay for a month maybe two, I’d go. Maybe your husband will man up and kick them out or maybe you might decide you’re happier without him too🤷🏻‍♀️. Because to me it sounds like you might be.

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We let someone move in and it was toxic my boyfriend finally made him leave make them leave they are bringing y’all down in so many ways and taking advantage of y’all I know it’s family but they can work

Do a eviction thru the court system. You legally have to evict them now because they’ve been there longer than 30 days and have established legal residence at your house. Sorry

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You start setting money aside for you and your kid & get your stuff out asap. Document EVERYTHING. Even your spouse’s cheating and all that. Get proof in hand of all of it for court. Then File for a divorce, emergency custody of child, and child support. Just go. His family sounds awful and he keeps cheating.

girl I would change the locks/ buy some packing boxes pack everything nicely and leave it outside and let that be that.

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Kudos to you …i couldn’t do it .

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An anonymous call to your landlord about how many people are actually living in your place. Let them think nosey neighbors turned them in, not you.:blush:

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Kick them all out. Husband included :woman_shrugging:t3:

Def alot nicer than me i wouldnt have let them move in…in the first place…family or not…let them guilt trip all they want. Ive done it 1 time and that was the only time it took for me to realize NEVER again

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I would tell them that they have so many days/weeks to make arrangements to move out. They will continue to mooch off of you until you put a stop. I’d tell my husband that either they have to go or else I would be leaving. People will suck everything out of you they can. Enough is enough

I would take my son and leave it all behide nothing is going to change

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Leave. They’re all toxic and you don’t need the excuses.

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You don’t need your house back… you need to take your son and leave all of it… for good. Unfortunately, your husband comes from toxicity… and it’s most likely where he will stay. Save your son and your sanity.

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I would leave, let your husband deal with this mess.

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I’d literally leave my husband . The family you create is your priority now and he’s putting them before you and your son. I would never live in that chaotic situation either .

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You have a child to care for and support. You are not the mother of all thoes other people that are freeloading off of you! You have no obligation to support them. Tell your husband it’s either them or you and your son. If he can’t chose well then you know where you and your son stand

Leave them to it eff them peeps

Tell them they are trespassing. They can go to a shelter ,there are plenty. It’s that or don’t pay for internet. That would keep them away. Life is there without it. Take your child and play outside. You’d be amazed how much better your relationship with your man would be. Find things to do. Go to the park. Stay away. All three of you just go to the park. There are things you can do together.

Or. Talk to him about your future. Is there one. Look what your going thru for him. Would he do the same? Besides ,he can’t have internet relationships without internet.if he baulks. Tell him bye. You deserve so much better. God bless.

Kick everyone out, including your husband if he doesn’t back you. How gross

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Y’all need to kick them all out !

Eviction notice from a judge

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Give them 30 days to move. After 30 Days kick them out.

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Firstly you are clearly not over the cheating otherwise you wouldn’t have felt the need to bring it up in that story at all. Secondly they an all leave or I’d be the one waiting till payday taking the money for. Myself and kid and going.

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I would of bounced a long time ago!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I can't stand being my in house anymore! - Mamas Uncut

Get your son and get out!

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I appalled you for lasting 6 months no way i could I would be in a nut house I wouldn’t put up with that crap for 1 second.

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Take some time and go some where else along with your paycheck. Stop paying cable and internet. They can pay it. They will never leave , they have the perfect arrangement. Go to a lawyer about options and talk to the bank for some financial advice. File legal separation as that delegates your finances from hubby’s going forward. This will protect your credit rating to a retain point and you won’t be responsible for any bills going forward at that house. Good luck.

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If you have family near leave… any bills in your name call and cancel them even if you have to pay a fee do it… make sure your money is going into a separate account and that he has no access to it… id pack a bag everyday and put it in your car and once all the important stuff is packed I’d leave and never look back

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Whew, I have seen this happen before too. Never ends well. Praying you will make the right decision soon.

Set them a tent up in the yard…I’ve had to live with family but shit I payed everything just to be able to have a place to stay… start taking all ur sons toys and put them in ur room when he’s playing tell her stay away separate them if u can…

If you have family close by I would take me and my son and go. Let your husband deal with them all on his own. Then maybe he would open his eyes and see they have to go. Let him clean up after them and you go focus on you and your son and your mental health. Show him your not just gonna let it keep going on. That’s what I would do. If I was in your shoes.

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You can go get them legally evicted. They’ll give them 30 days to get out. However if your husband isn’t backing you, you need to get out. That whole situation is a mess.

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I’d take my kid and leave them and your husband all there . I wouldn’t put up with it . Cause obviously your hubby doesn’t wanna back you up . And kick them out . I’d go and maybe your hubby might open his eyes .

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tell him they go, or u go. Good luck.

Pack their shit and take them to a shelter. You’ll be doing them a favor by forcing them to do something for themselves

8 people in a 2 bedroom house is not okay! Leave with yalls kid!!

Gross, you want to live like that?

Sounds like he is an enabler of his family. I’d take my child and leave.

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Tell his family they have 1 week to find another place.

Holy sh*t! I would have put my foot down immediately. Family or not you don’t do your family like that specially when your doing them a favor. Set some rules as well as boundaries. If they can’t follow it tell them to leave. Tell them you want 1000 dollars for all their expenses and the damage that their animals have cost and if not then they have a month to leave. Or take their stimulus check and tell them to gtfo. Scream if you have too don’t let his sister try and control you with her petty stories. It sucks to be mean but sometimes you just have to for your own sanity.

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Change the locks then put all their belongings outside and say goodbye :wave:t2: including the husband

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Take your son and leave. Let him deal with them. You and your son clearly aren’t his priority. He’s not going to change for you.

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I would take my son and go …nope nope nope

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Give him an ultimatum, if they don’t get out, you and your son are leaving.

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Go out to dinner with your husband and calmly make a plan together for a timeline. Pay the deductible usury deposit in an apartment for them if you have to. Then don’t let them back in.

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I’d walk and let him deal with it. Buh byeeeee.

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I think that you likely know what your life is going to look like if you stay.

I hate that women have so much pressure to “keep the family together” when… it’s clearly not a concern for the men on the other side of that. They get to cheat, be disrespectful, not put the family first and yet the responsibility falls to the women to “make it work for the kids”.

Stop, look around and ask yourself, is this the life you want for your son? That’s the only question that truly matters. You are an adult and understand the situation around you but your son is learning what normal is by example right now. Is this the lesson you want to teach?

Your partner has made clear who he is. You can hope for change, I think it’s pretty common. You’ve seen him at his best and know what he’s capable of being. Unfortunately that’s just not who he is all the time.

If it were me, I would have left a long time ago. I think kids would rather be from broken homes than live in them.

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Yes kick them on the street.
They are using you

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Change the Internet password and be like we need x amount a month
Rent
Power
Water
And Internet bill comes last

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And those cats would be kicked outside each time I saw them in my house they sounds untrained

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GF grow a set an be done with it all or you could say it’s either them or me PICK 1

You need to take your son and go, let y ok ur husband fix what he’s created and if he doesn’t that atleast you know where you stand, move on and find happiness in your life, you deserve it :relaxed:

Your husband chose other people over you multiple times it’s time for you to leave.

You need to take your son and leave. You guys deserve better.

I think Mama uncut is BS…Fake problems.

I would go now, before someone from outside the family decides to intervene. If child services got wind of your living situation, it could endanger your ability to keep your own child. Whether you leave for good is up to you. It may be enough for him to open his eyes and see what’s truly going on, or he may settle into it and continue to let it happen. Either way, he will make the final decision easy for you.

But take yourself and your baby to safety before it’s too late.

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I would say either take your child and leave or get some documentation notarized that they have to leave. Throw their shit out when they’re gone and change the locks and tell your husband he can go to🤷‍♀️ I was nice enough twice to let some of my boyfriends family/friends stay with us. But the moment they disrespected me, I had their shit packed by the door and told them to find some where else to live

Send them to a shelter

I would save up and move out. Tell your husband either kick them out or you’re leaving.

Kick them out !! Them nasty people and cats got to go. What happens when your 2 year old picks up cat shit and eats it. You said 2 weeks and it’s been 6 months. They are using you and destroying your house in the process. Tell your husband to get rid of them or you will and he is included with them nasty farm animals he calls family.

Man I am mad for you but u are letting it happen if you don’t take your son and leave. If he wants you back he will get rid of them. If not then ur better off away from that family. An if you don’t go, get used to living like that for years.

First of all, they may live there but it it YOUR house. I’d set ground rules and they can abide or gtfo.Their nasty cats would be the first thing outside. Second, I’d give my husband one week, either they leave or I do. Period. Then leave if that’s what it takes. Noway in hell I’d live in that mess. I love my husband more than anything but if he put me in a situation like that I’d be out. We let a friend of his live with us and less than 2 months in I told him. he has to go. Guess what the friend was out the next day. As his wife you and his child should be first priority. His sister has a husband. he should take care of her, not your husband. It isn’t his job. His dad and brother aren’t his job, but I get wanting to help them because they are trying. But even then you have to cut the cord at some point. They’re all adults, they need to figure it out on their own.

Im so sorry this has happening to you. Its one thing to help others out, but what they are doin is so taking advantage of you all.But your husband really doesnt mind what’s goin on. It’s past bad and shouldnt have gotten to this point, I would take your son and leave, if not he will be picking up on all of these bad habits too. It’s one thing to help family out but it is not your responsibility to take care of them! And that’s what they are making you do and throwing it in your faces. They honestly are in it for themselves. I wouldnt even tell your husband your leaving, take your son and take care of you two sounds like you need some much needed time to destress and love on one another and get back to being you. This cannot be easy but needs to happen. Otherwise your going to end up not caring and doin what they are. And your husband will, slowly understand and figure it out and he needs to destress too and work on him. And if he does get them out I wouldnt rush back into that house left in shambles, it’ll never be the same. Start new and make it the best wherever it may be. This has to have changed your relationship drastically and not for the better. Sad this family put themselves and there needs in front of yours even though you’ve helped them out. I’ve learned the hard way myself you end up being the bad guy, dont believe it and hold your head girl. You got this! Lifes to short make it the best and know your not alone.

I’ve dealt with the exact same thing!!! I just did everything I could to piss them off. It didn’t take long, they left!!

Get out now and if your husband cares he will put them out just to get his family back if he doesn’t it will show you he doesn’t care and then you move on with your son start a new life without toxic people in it

I would’ve left that whole situation. You got back w him after he didn’t value you at all. You only get one life… don’t spend it in regret.

If you can’t financially afford to live on your own ask your family to stay with them. But first file for a legal eviction, let them live on the streets. They’re using you and like you said they already burned all their bridges. Well light your bridge on fire and if your husband wants to help his family he can light a second match. If you don’t evict them now they will never leave. Light that bridge up!!!

Sounds like you’re all in shitty positions with no room to judge but plenty to grow.

Sounds like you need to give an ultimatum or just find somewhere else to go. If he wants to continue with all this, that’s on him. But you have no obligation to put your life, paycheck and your son on the back burner because of them.