I can't stop thinking about my ex

I broke up with my partner of 10 years. We have a child together he’s 8 . We wasnt together for a couple of months but we stayed in the same house. He spent most of his time on the ps4 , I would be working providing for him and our son , paying for his car and anything else that needed paying for, food every thing you name it, if I didn’t cook he would get angry , if I cooked for myself he would get angry again , He got lazy and always made excuses about going back to work , he got let go 3 times and was given multiple chances too. Like he’s nice , he’s done stuff for me too, he’s not all bad but in that situation we was struggling so bad trying to make ends meet. Anyways : I met someone amazing , we was talking for a couple of months before we met up , I got pregnant by that other guy real fast .
But sometimes I find myself thinking of my exs , like I even have moments where iv asked for him back , cried , sent him long messages , crying my heart out but he pretty much gave me the seen, shut me down , laughed in my face and talked high about them other girls he’s talking too , he even sent me a picture of someone he really liked , posted stuff about them but when we was together he never once posted me ANYWHERE …
Ohhh and he moved to Australia.
He hasn’t given me any suppose with our son but when I go ask for money he says : he doesn’t have any But he has money for his game.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I can't stop thinking about my ex

So, why do you miss this looser?:woozy_face::woozy_face::woozy_face:

He sounds like a dead beat…

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Why do want him back?
I need that answered bc he has nothing to offer you disrespect and heartache.
I’d advise you to be single and figure out who you are bc you obviously have no clue.
Ppl treat you how you allow.
Stop allowing bs. You deserve better. :heart:

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I don’t see a reason to believe there’s a chance you’ll get back together if he 1) moved to another country and 2) you had a baby with someone else. I suppose it’s not impossible but I don’t think really inside the realm of reality that he’ll take you back after having a baby with another man. You’ve already listed a bunch of reasons why you knew he wasn’t a good partner anyway. He spent his free time playing video games… he was inconsistent with keeping a job and inconsiderate that you had to foot the bill of everything yourself. Seems like he was emotionally or verbally abusive too if he got angry that you didn’t cook. I think you just miss the company and the memories. Ten years is a long time but it’s not the end of the world and I’m sure you’ll be much happier once you recognize your worth and move on.

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Maybe you need to be using protection

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I know it’s hard but it sounds like it’s time to forget about him… Let him go and just try to move on. Even if he doesn’t attempt a relationship with the son you both share just let it go because he’s not worth it and it’s not just up to you to try and maintain a relationship between him and his son.

U have ur closure move on

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You’re angry that he showed you a picture a girl he “likes” while you fell pregnant “really fast” after meeting another guy. 1. Use protection. 2. Grow up. This isn’t high school. You’re a mother. Why do you want someone, who disrespected you. Stay single for a while, raise your kids and then decide who and what you want

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I would just let him go and file for child support

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You miss him bc you probably feel alone; take this time to love yourself again . Work on yourself and focus on your son that dude sounds like a looser

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You cant have your cake and eat it to. You have a wonderful new man why would you want an Ex that is an Ex for a reason. Over time our mind lets go of the bad stuff and hold on to good. That romanticizes an old relationship, makes it not seem as bad as it was.

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I fail to see the question here. It sounds like he was comfortable with you taking care of him. Move on, you can do better.

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But why do you want him back?! He’s a loser…

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It sounds like you are trauma bonded to your ex. He used and abused you mentally. You need to break that bond. Easier said than done, but once you understand how trauma bonding works you can begin to heal❤ if you are unable to get professional help just do some Google research and there are wonderful articles by therapist’s. Just make sure that the sources are credible❤

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Why are you letting a dead beat hold you back. Find yourself. Be your own partner and find out who you are in life.

At least Have some self respect for yourself and your children.

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Crazy…smh… He clearly doesn’t care about you… Maybe you should read what you wrote…Start caring about yourself … Your self esteem is really low because there’s no way in hell I would stand for that type of treatment… You jumped into a new relationship to fast… You should seek therapy to rebuild your self esteem because if you have a daughter she’ll think it’s OK to be treated like :poop:

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I would not even think about him. You’ve been doing it this long by yourself……move on!

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Both Trash. I feel so sorry for the child.

Be thankful. Put your effort in the present relationship

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You would make yourself miserable if he would’ve said he would come back. Guys like that don’t change, usually. It’s just the rejection eating at you, trust me. You can do bad all by yaself.
Fuck him!! He basically abandoned his kid too?? Wow no support from him and if he moved he’s not seeing your child. That’s really terrible.
Your season with him was a lesson on what not to tolerate. You can do wayyyy better. Just believe it

Why on earth would you want that loser back??? :woman_facepalming:t2:
Counseling might be helpful.

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Not much there to be missing.

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Your ex sounds like a loser

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Stop rushing. You broke up with your ex, and rushed into bed with another dude. When I read this, I see how little you feel about yourself and the obvious lack of respect you have for yourself. Focus on you, your child and your now new baby. I suggest therapy also.

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Girl, let that pony run!!!

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So what happened to the great guy/second baby daddy who you talked to for months?

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You deserve better, tell yourself that each day.

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Counseling is in order. An ex for a reason.

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Honestly he wasnt worth the dirt on your shoe.
Poor excuse of a man just raise ya kid and move on. Of course your gonna think of him time to time. His the father to that child. But Honestly doesn’t sound like a decent human maybe abusive . You may find councilling beneficial.
His lazy rude aggressive sounding girl ya better off without

It’s best to let him go. A man…I mean boy…is not worth all of that. Time to move on sweetie.

Move on honey he isn’t worth it

Put his ass on child support and let him go. Sounds like you lost 200lbs of dead weight.

You’re not missing HIM

you’re missing the THOUGHT of him and what you WANTED it to be. We all struggle with that!
We all get illusions

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LOSER! That’s what he is and you are thinking about him because he shut you down. Move on with your son and go through the courts for child support.

What is it that you miss about him?

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Take him to court and move 9n with someone who will treat you as you deserve to be treated!

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Focus on your current. It sounds like you were playing mom for 2 with the ex.

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What the? You seriously want that man baby back? Yikes on bikes

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Forget Him ! Your wasting Your time. It didn’t work before , nothing s changed . Why would it be any better this time ?

You’re not happy unless you’re living in chaos and crusts are you? Seek counseling to find out why.

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Girl the trash took itself out move on.

So why do you want him back? He sounds like a loser

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It’s time to let go of a piece of work and get you a real man.

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Smh girl let that loser GO.

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I get that, it happened to me too. My best advice is to take the time to truely emotionally detach from him before you get into another relationship. It took me a hell of a long time and I made the stupid mistake of not taking my own advice and that next relationship was a absolute trainwreck. Cry, ball your eyes out but remember that you had a considerable amount of emotional investment in that relationship. That’s valid and it’s ok.

Take that time, work at it your own pace and remember, denying your pain and anguish will only make it worse. Not better.

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This is wildly ridiculous :rofl:🤦

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It’s called trauma bonding educate yourself on it.You don’t miss him.Your brain thinks you do.

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Normal to miss an ex or think that’s what your missing.

I miss some poopy people too. But it’s more I miss the fun the memory’s the person I thought they were. You don’t miss them just the good feelings you sometimes had.

It really sucks when a person can’t care about their child, sadly to many are selfish.

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Get yourself together first and do right by your kids. And get on birth control please before you have another child too quick. Those kind of guys are not worth your time. Collect child support for your children. Make a home for them so they feel secure. The person you are suppose to spend the rest of your life with will come along. Ask God to send him to you. I did. I asked him and told him what name I liked and we were together for 42 years before he past. This is a true story. You will be happy . :pray:t2::heart:

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Girl; I want you to sit down and read this post over and over and over until it clicks in your head.

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What’s the question? Get over it though, you sound a little obsessed and selfish being that you found someone else while living with him. Sucks about the child support but sounds like an issue that will be more problems than it’s worth if you pursue it.

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He’s a loser let’s clarify you don’t actually yearn for him you yearn for the good times you had with him if that makes sense. Also it could just be the pregnancy hormones enjoy your life enjoy your baby and always try to be with somebody who matches your effort unless you like just taking care of people then by all means that’s you

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honey. it’s done.

you already moved on. stay there & away.

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He sounds like a lovely guy

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It’s called a trauma bond, I experienced this too.

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First, take time to be out of a relationship and get things under control in your life. Hes gone. Time to move on with your life.

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Stop File for child support and forget about him and go get therapy. Please now

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And you need him for what???

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Know your worth
:two_hearts::monkey::open_hands::skull::two_hearts:

Far out sounds like you were Cinderella the slave. He is just trying to make you jealous, being a moron. You can do better.

He’s an ex for a reason, getting back with an ex is as smart as trying to shove poop back into your butt…the latter is less uncomfortable though (joke)

So what’s your question?
Should I get back with that loser? Hell no!

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Soooo I guess I’m confused, WHY do you miss that??? Why would you want to go back to that?? I think maybe it’s the familiarity or loneliness that’s pulling you back. Maybe you’re worried that he was your chance at love/a family (he wasn’t) or maybe you worry that no one will love you or make you happy like he did during the good times (someone absolutely will) Don’t mistake comfort and familiarity for love. Don’t go back to a situation where you weren’t happy because you’re lonely. It will turn out the exact same as it did the first time because, just from the little info you gave us, he clearly hasn’t grown up. Wait for the one who’s on your team, the one who’s priority is to make you happy and to make you feel safe, validated and loved. There will come a day when you meet the one who’s soul was meant to love yours and I promise you, you’ll look back on this post and think to yourself, “What the hell was I thinking?? Why did I waste so much of my time and love on this person?” Because the right man will love you more than he ever could and you’ll finally realize why this relationship would never have been able to work :heart::heart: hold out for that guy honey, I promise you he’s worth the wait :heart::heart:

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You weren’t his mate, you were his House Mommy there to make his lazy life comfortable.

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Can’t you understand that you are lucky you ain’t in that toxic, dysfunctional situation anymore? Be happy :bangbang::bangbang::bangbang:

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You need professional help and I don’t say that to sound rude. You are living the consequences of a past trauma. Letting go completely sometimes takes steps of healing and acceptance. You deserve better! You’re worthy! Your son deserves a happy mom.

You are having survivors guilt I think that’s the word…why do you miss the bum…a bum bum!!!

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How proud must you be of yourself lol to fall pregnant with some one else so quickly and then act like your hurt because your ex wants to move on lol wtf

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I am confused, you’re pregnant by the new guy and is crying your eyes out because you want the old guy back
Please seek therapy real quick.

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Sweetheart what the fuck are you missing!? A loser :woozy_face:
That’s the person you want around you’re children give you’re head a shake boo

Soooo going back to such a lame relationship would make you feel happy? :grimacing:, sounds like you shouldn’t even be with someone else, you should work on yourself first

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Why on earth would you even tolerate a partner like that? Stay away. He’s not teaching your son anything worth while. Definitely not how to be a man.

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You should be single until you straighten out your feelings. Either that or see a therapist 1st &, then decide if you’re ready for commitment with your current partner or not. It’s not fair to him that you’re thinking of someone else while he’s trying to build a life with you and your child.

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Gust keep you’re legs together I think

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You have got to be joking please look at what you wrote he is absolutely :100: not someone you want to be spending a life with he is lazy does not have any ambitions what are younteaching your child please wake up and walk away I’m sorry if I sound harsh but you need to wake up and face reality before it’s to.late

It’s gals like you that allow men to treat them badly, raise some pretty messed up kids, Quit having babies, raise what you have, quit worrying about men… Geez

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Where’s he getting the money for his games??

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Oh please you need a reality check

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Take him for child support and let all the rest go and move farther on

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You are just venting your frustration and I totally get that. Comparing comes at a cost and you are going to destroy what you have. It will poison your future. So leave the past there where it belongs. Be patient with your new partner. Make things easy for him if you can. And all the best x

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And your asking what? You already know the answer,yes he is a loser,yes you and your son are better off without him,now did I really have to tell you something you already knew?

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Why would u like ur ex? Obviously he’s hurt u found a new guy and moved on u had a baby with this new guy. So I’m sure he’s very hurt by it. But something told u to move on.
Sounds to me he was pretty immature and u wanted someone who could take care of u. He sounds like a loser having everything handed to him and he’s still a jerk to u. Maybe u really wish u coulda ended things differently.

It’s time for u to move on he sounds like a big jerk.

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Let him stay an ex. Put him on child support. Only speak about the child.

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I’m confused. Are you still with this new guy and messaging the ex wanting him back? And you’re pregnant again with this new guy? :thinking: The ex clearly isn’t interested and he’s not being very nice about it and your new guy would be hurt if he knew you were messaging the ex behind his back! Can’t see this situation working out very well… :woman_facepalming:t2: Gotta decide what you want!

One solution…. Stop ‘ crying over sour milk ‘ and take his butt to court for Child Support. You have another ‘ baby ‘ to take care of. Oh… and grow up !

Just tattoo doormat on your forehead so everyone knows.