So recently, I caught my eighth grader daughter, listening to music that have curse words in it hip-hop& rap music that kind of stuff now I love that kind of music myself but I got frustrated because she’s only in eighth grade and I don’t want her listening to that kind of stuff. I dont want to sound like a hypocrite but I don’t want her getting influenced by the wrong thing she said I’m over reacting and all of her classmates listen to this type of music, so why do I care, yes she is in honors classes. Her grades are great. I ￼ don’t want to be a helicopter mom but I also want to make sure that I am paying enough attention to the things she’s doing give honest advice.
It’s just music I grew up listening to afroman, shaggy, etc etc. Doesn’t mean I turned into a rapper and let me tell you now… your kid has been cussing in school since elementary. So there.
This can’t be real. It’s gotta be a troll. Ain’t no way there’s a mom out there really restricting their 14 year Olds choice of music like that…
I’d be breaking out my own “oldies but goldies” rap songs and showing her who the real artists are I can’t really say much because I’ve always hated rap, but my kids who are 9 and 5 have been listening to heavy metal since birth.
I remember listening to eminem at 5 still one of my favorites. I’d steer her away from the videos but she’s going to hear the music everywhere and worse at school from other kids. If she’s 14 it’s a good time to talk to her about what is appropriate and not then let her make her own decisions on her music choice. You said she’s well mannered and does well in school. Let her prove she’s mature enough to handle it.
As a Mom, you have to pick your battles. I raised 3 girls and had to learn this. I didn’t care for their taste in music, some of it was pretty bad. I honestly don’t think they payed any attention to the words until I brought it to their attention. After that, if it got really bad they would change it on their own. I wouldn’t have battled that concern, thankfully I didn’t have to. My main concerns were education, behavior and being respectful. Choose your battles
I let my 7 yr old listen to it. His favorite artist is Upchurch if that tells you anything. His dad and I listen to the same stuff. As long as hes not repeating it or jammin out around certain company, I let him be him. I’m sure she hears 10xs worse at school.
Leave her alone to listen to whatever she wants to. Its music.
She’s going into highschool, she isn’t a little girl anymore.
When my kids where little I would play tech n9ne for them to go to sleep since I brought them home from the hospital music is music let the kids enjoy the soul in all kinds of music not just one genre.
I remember being told I wasn’t allowed certain music, I just went to my friends and listened to whatever I wanted
In 8th grade i was listening a lot worse, while… I was off in the middle of the woods drinking straight vodka by a body of water with 30 random people, sometimes I’d come home… some times I’d wake up in a field. Depended on the night. REMEMBER it could always be worse.
Honestly? There’s not much you can do.
First and foremost grades have NOTHING to do with what kind of music a person should be allowed to enjoy.
Second… I wouldn’t get too bent out of shape about the cursing either… society has progressed to a point where cursing is no longer nearly as taboo as it used to be so it’s there in all forms of media as well as conversations in public.
She’s in 8th grade.
She’ll be in high school next year.
Presumably she has friends…they exist.
All of these things can and will give her access to rap music.
Censoring her isn’t particularly helpful.
Now. I will say I definitely understand the concern because a lot of rap does glorify things that aren’t… Necessarily good.
But if we’re honest…that is all music…Not just rap.
That’s where you familiarize yourself with the songs and their meanings.
Be prepared to have some honest and hard conversations (conversations that would come up anyways btw).
Maybe look for some that are a little more turned down on the sex and drugs with a more positive message to share with her (they do exist).
I say keep paying attention to what she’s doing and establish an open line of communication. As long as you talk to your teen about things she will grow up a well rounded individual with a good understanding of right and wrong.
“I don’t want to be a helicopter mom” proceeds to be a helicopter mom
Is she using foul language is she acting like a wanna be gangster? Does she listen to it in public where it might bother others? Give her some credit unless she shows she can’t handle it. She probably hears worse at school unless she’s homeschooled
You’re being way over bearing and crazy about this. It’s just music. If she’s an honors student then she must have enough smarts to know not to be influenced by just music. Stop fearing them hearing curse words, I can guarantee they’ve heard all of them from other sources than rap or hip-hop music. It just matters if your kid says them or not.
How your kiddo hasn’t heard that kind of music until 8th grade is strange to me. Mine have listened to it with me since they were wee ones.
Someone come get their mom
Honestly, you are being a H!!!. Because you like & listen to that same music. If your daughter knows right from wrong and you’ve raised her right there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. I’m most positive that school dances play the unedited version of those same songs. If it made you that uncomfortable then what you should do is speak to your daughter to confirm right from wrong and how uncomfortable hearing her listen to the music made you feel. Don’t over react to what is out of your control. Music has nothing to do with the influence, her friends or the wrong crowd is who you should question, it’s individuals your daughter chooses to associate with that will.
Don’t be so naive! They’ve been cussing and such for years already! Choose your battles wisely lest she’ll just do things behind your back instead.
Honestly, she probably hears worse at school. My son is 10 and you should hear they way some of the other 5th graders talk
Music is great you know? You don’t have to judge her by listening to those music she can listen to them just she didn’t have to say curse words I’m just a grade seven student but I’m listening to some songs that has a little curse words but at least I’m not cursing just let her listens to her favorite music.When your a kid didn’t your mom let’s you listen musics? Then let her listens to her favorite music too!
I don’t know if this helps but I’m just saying
Well that’s all I can say I hope all of ya’ll have a great day!
I see it this way. I love music. Always have. The songs I grew up listening to had wholesome lyrics…and not so wholesome lyrics. Honestly didn’t change my views on a nothing or make me suddenly want to have sex or do drugs any more than anything else. So as long as it’s not like… ridiculously inappropriate and she’s doing good I school…let it be.
Jcole has a 4.0 GPA graduated st John’s university with a masters in communications,
He became a successful rap artist and it had nothing to do with his grades and everything to do with his passion his talent …
Loosen the Apron strings before you Decide what your daughter should be later in life. Allow her to listen. Allow her to live. Allow her to develop her own personality aside of yours. If you Don’t End result can be her being miserable. Doing something. She never wanted to do but to just appease you
Long term food for thought that’s the path you are on
Enjoy it with her, you have to start letting her be her. Good luck
As a mama I understand wanting to protect your children from all the harmful or potentially harmful things in the world. But the truth is, bad influences are everywhere, & they exist in many different ways, forms etc. I think it’s more important to have open communication & education than it is to just restrict/deny.
Well, maybe she likes that style of music so try to find rap music that is suitable for her age like for instance we listen to boost radio, yes it’s mainly christian rap but they do play some songs that aren’t God centered but clean songs. Depending on where your located it may not be on the radio but they do have an app that you can play anywhere anytime.
Don’t try to stop it . Educate her that music is a form of art . It’s how individuals express their individual feelings and opinions … . I listened to a lot of hip hop music - and even classic rock - which all speak on drugs and I didn’t smoke until after I graduated high school … ect. Ect. . . Lol . Music does not teach your children - you do. My dad tried to tell me as a child I couldn’t listen to music with cuss words - how well do you think that worked for him ?. Lol . It’s not worth the fight .
She hears worse things at school. Pick your battles!
Well if she knew what to listen to she will most likely still listen to it at school
My kids listen to EVERYTHING and their ages range from 2-14… I listened to the same stuff when I was a kid. It’s just music!
Well my daughter is in 6th and you should hear the music the kids play at school, she will hear it anyway especially If that’s what you listen to aswell.
That’s a battle I wouldn’t fight. Buy her some headphones. She hears worse at school
When I was in the 8th grade, we were crying over Tupac and Biggie being killed. Introduce her to the good stuff, the ones that have been around for a few decades. This new stuff is crap, but you can’t be a hypocrite about it.
I personally wouldn’t be too freaked out. Rap has always been my “outlet” for all accounts I was a" goodie two shoes". If your worried just talk to her.
Reality is - she don’t understand half of what it means anyway
Music definitely doesn’t influence the person you are. There are some very straight arrow people who listen to some pretty off the Wall music. I wouldn’t worry about it at all. Some people just like rap music because of the beat.
If THATS the worse thing she is doing…let her!!
As long as she’s listening to the good rap I don’t see a problem in all seriousness. It’s fine she’s probably exploring different avenues. As long as she keeps up her grades and stays on the straight and narrow. I wouldn’t worry about it.
I think you need to relax a bit. She’s in 8th grade, and it’s music that she’s undoubtedly heard before with you around. It’s not going to hurt her, but pushing on such a minor issue might hurt your relationship with her
If shes in 8th grade, it’s reasonable to assume that she is going to be a freshman in high school next year. There’s not a whole lot you can do as far as keeping certain music away from her while she isn’t home, especially if you yourself likes said music. I would pick your battle here and now. If the kid is doing good in school, I feel like they should be able to listen to what ever music they like. Music is an expression of self. I would have been seriously depressed if my parents took away the music I liked, which happened to be a little rap and lots of alternative and heavy metal. Lots of 90’s grunge. If you push this, you will become that helicopter mom that you said you don’t want to be. If you try to shelter her too much, especially at this important stage in her life, you’ll end up regretting it. My parents did when they sheltered me lol. Let her listen to her music, if this is all you have a issue with consider yourself blessed.
It could be worse. I couldn’t control what my kid was listening to at that age, what they listen to does not define who they are or what they stand for. It’s just words. Pick your battles mama. This isn’t one I’d care to fight.
I let my girls listen to it,it’s just music… I see nothing wrong with it…
Of course she is listening to it. Y I u just need to explain to her that isn’t things ok to say or etc. But of course at this age she will listen to what she wants too.
She will listen to it when you’re not around. She is probably swearing with her friends too. It’s the age. It seems “cool”.
I told my daughter she can listen to what she wants, but she has to understand that she can’t go around repeating some of the words they say as they are inappropriate, and she could be labeled as a racist for saying them as a white person. It allowed us to talk about cultural appropriation and have deeper conversations. She will ask me what a word is if she doesn’t know it. It also allows us to talk about how sex is becoming more normalized to talk about. And talking about teen pregnancy, STI, and HIV prevention.
Trust her to make the right decision when you’re not around and know that listening to music will not change her into a bad person.
She will be 18 in just 4 short years. It’s time to start teaching/preparing our kids how to make hard/difficult decisions without us parents always deciding for them, because we won’t be there. If they’re used to us doing and dictating their lives for them, they will have a very difficult transition to adulthood.
Sounds like she has given you no reasons not to trust her. I think rap music should be the lest of your worries. Other things to stress about
If you think this music is worse then what she heard at school you have a problem. If she’s an honor student and a good kid then mom your doing your job and music isn’t going to influence her. Relax
Pick your battles same age as mine when they wanted to pick their own music ICP was a favorite. I kept an open mind and we shared all the music mine and theirs. Then the only question was if there is a cuss word and were singing the song can we say it…
My dad cursed my whole life… very colorfully lol, and I still don’t even say the “s word” in front of my parents I always say I’m proof that you can curse in front of your kids all you want and still raise kids that don’t curse (at the very least in front of adults or authority figures). That being said if you have raised her as well as it seems/you think you have then I don’t think curse words in a rap song are going to lead her to a life of drugs and debauchery… but you being overly strict certainly could.
Have you listened to what’s on the radio?
I’m sure her music taste is the LEAST of your concerns its a form of expression, not demonic mind control or anything
The moms on here are so rude. She doesn’t have to allow that if she doesn’t want to.
Sooooo u can listen but she cant? If u dont like the new rap introduce her to old school rap. But imo some of those lyrics are worse
If the worst thing she’s doing in 8 grade is listening to rap music , your doing fine , you do realize that their are kids in 8 the , grade some are sexually active, some are experiments with drugs , and I promise most are swearing , at least sometimes , are you really that niwve, you need to catch up with the times , swearing is the least of your worries , , you should be having , conversations , about, drugs , and sex very soon, the ones that think not my kids, are usually the ones that end up in trouble
Compared to the stuff she probably hears in the playground on a daily basis - rap with swear words is nothing especially by time they are in year 8.
You show her the roots, the history and why rap of today sounds different.
Let her listen to it now before she brings Peanut and 'em to Thanksgiving dinner
Im hoping this is a joke.
My mom bought me an Eminem CD when I was 12. My 12 year old listens to all kinds of music. Michael Jackson, Eminem, BSB, Kane Brown, r&b.
The more you shelter her, the worse it’ll be. Be thankful it’s music you’ve found and not drugs or weapons lol
So you love it but she can’t listen to it? You should learn it sucks no matter what.
At least strict moms don’t have to worry about their children being kidnapped because they keep a good eye on them and at least she has morals a bunch of rap is derogatory towards women and acting like women are just here to be men’s play toys and about shooting people up and negative things a child should not be listening to when they are 18 than she can listen to it. But as long as they live in parents house what mom and dad says goes and she not a hypocrite because she likes it . And if a bunch of kids decided to go get guns and shoot people or do illegal activities would you expect your kids to do it too just because there friends do. And not all kids rebel my mom was strict and my dad was a fire marshal and I was sheltered most of my life because I can be naive sometimes and was a slow learner and I didn’t go do drugs or sneak out I didn’t rebel. I’m afraid of prison never been never will. But if she isn’t comfortable with her 8 year old listening to that right now who are you to judge. And it’s really rude to tell her to just get over it I agree with the people who said why should she care what others think and the one who mentioned Christian rap. Really OP if you don’t want her listening to it until she older she needs to respect your decision your mom you know what’s best for her regardless of what others think no you don’t get over it and if you are part of full helicopter mom at least your protective and worried about your child I honestly would rather have a helicopter mom than one who lets me be a brat and get away with everything or have my way all the time your job is to teach her and guide her I’m with you 8 is to young and yeah she might learn it from kids at school but doesn’t mean she allowed to at home. You can’t control others kids but you sure can teach yours. I think your a good mother and doing great. Don’t let the rude people who are laughing and being rude and snooty tell you different. You asked for advice not bullies and hateful remarks. And if anyone has anything negative to say about my comment good for you. I’m hear to lift another mom up not year her down and bully and make fun and be rude. And being blunt is no excuse to be rude.
She’s a teenager… almost in highschool! Sorry but I don’t thunk that’s something you can control
Okay Mother Margaret please don’t tell us her name is Carrie…
Put on some Eminem and have a dance party.
It doesn’t matter what others think. It doesn’t matter if you’re a helicopter mom. It doesn’t matter if others let their kids listen to it. If you’re not comfortable with it, then express that to her, and let her know it’s not appropriate. Your kid. Your rules. Period!
The more you subject her to your opinions, the more likely she is to rebel.
This is a joke, right???
You sound like a control freak. If your “biggest” problem is rap music consider yourself lucky. I guarantee YOU she has heard worse at school, whether you want to believe it or not. Seriously, some things parents are worried about. I really hope YOU have open communication with your daughter and that she can talk to you because if your flippin over music, I guarantee she WILL NOT come to you over serious issues.
I hate to break it to you but she’s hearing way worse words at school.
Seriously? You need to loosen up a bit. Shoot I sing DMX to my kids…you gonna make me lose my mind.
Maybe you should start listening to it, maybe the stick will loosen
Leave her alone let her find who she is I’m sure you listen to music you like
Here my 2, 4, and 5 yr old jam out to all my music together of almost every genre.
The tighter you squeeze your control the more will slip through.
I bet she hears more curses at school that in a song. Tell her she can only listen to the censored versions at home so at least ur not encouraging cursing.
Get over yourself Deborah your poor child/children.
Lmao… this is a joke. It’s gotta be.
This should tell you how ridiculous you sound.
It’s not mind control. It’s therapy. Let her listen to whatever she needs or wants to. Unless it’s nickleback.
The more you try to control your children the worse they will rebel…let it be.
If her biggest "problem " is enjoying rap music, consider yourself blessed! It’s just music.
You are a hypocrite. 8th grade means she’s a young teen. You have to let her grow up. She’s allowed to like things even if you don’t approve of them. And I’m willing to bet her and her friend use curse words when their parents aren’t around. God knows we did. Curse words are words. Used in the right way there is no harm to them just like there is no harm in saying any other word unless you use them to hurt someone. Grow up.
So do as I say not as I do?
Don’t be so stupid. Do you think your eighth grader doesn’t know what’s going on? ￼
I say let her be. She’s gonna hear all that at school anyway. Her friends are gonna be listening to the same music and you can’t control it when she’s at a friends house
And here’s my 3 year old singing along to slipknot… “I push my fingers into my eyyyyyyyeeeeeesssss” my kids a metalhead like me. Just let her be.
Introduce her to Christian rap…get her involved with a youth group that keeps the kids active.
She’s 12/13, gets good grades, and her own parent admits to listening to…checks notes…THE SAME DAMN MUSIC
Wtf is wrong with YOU?
Rap music should be the least of your worries.
stop being a helicopter mom
grow a set of balls and suck it up is one suggestion
Lol why do you care?
You are a hypocrite. It’s just music
Introduce her to R&B …the old stuff
Stop being a hypocrite you control freak
She’s in eighth grade? So she’s like 14? Give her room mom.
I agree with you there mama. I had to deal with the same thing. Sadly, I couldn’t find a way to stop it due to other classmates. We just have to face it that we can’t control everything no matter how bad we want to. It’s hard to adjust and to understand but you’ll make it through. Keep doing good and keep talking to your kiddo on the way things should be.
If that is the worst your daughter is doing you got off lightly, iv seen far worse from teenagers then listening to rap music I wouldn’t even say that’s even a problem
I honestly wouldn’t worry too much now as an adult I realize the songs I was listening to as a teenager we’re not the best so maybe you could try getting her into something you might like together maybe that would be a good way
Do you feel this music influenced you wrong:thinking: my children grew up listening to this kind of music and they are in no way bad or have ever got in trouble. They’re either going to listen to it with you knowing about it or they’re gonna sneak and listen to it anyway with their friends. I personally would rather want to know what my kids are listening to then they’re having to hide it. And I’d be pretty excited because I’d get to rock out to my kind of music.