I caught my husband cheating: Advice?

Time to get rid of him!

1 Like

You beat his ass! You take his shit, you throw it out, and you let him sleep in his damn car if he has to.

leave it will be worth it

Get prepared, then leave. It’s not going to get any better. Your mental health (and likely your kids) will suffer if you stay.

Porn or internet sex addiction is a big problem in society right now. 2 choices, 1 talk and work things out and 12 steps for counseling, 2. Or leave. It all depends on what you want.

I know you have probably heard this a thousand times before, but Someone who really, and truly loves you wouldn’t even think about cheating!!..
And besides, if he was actually doing his part in the marriage, by making you feel loved, and secure, you wouldn’t even suspect he was cheating!!(not even in a million years) So in my opinion, I would definitely leave, file for divorce, and never look back, because you don’t wanna waste your valuable youth years, and time on someone who doesn’t want to be tied down in a marrage, because regardless of the excuse, or reason, cheating is the ultimate deal breaker in my book, and in the long run, you will be better off without him. Because if he is cheating on you with other women that means he is automatically welcoming, and inviting interference, confusion, and chaos into the marriage, instead of security, love, and loyalty!!
you deserve better, but you have to make YOURSELF believe that you deserve better!!
I wish you the best in whatever you decide tho!

5 Likes

Is it cheating if he doesn’t actually physically touch these women? No different than porn, I would think

save money secretly and then file for divorce when you have your ducks in a row. screw him

pandora’s box has been opened. There is no going back to the trust you had. It would be one thing to be watching porn but he had other live humans participating. Who knows if he’s ever met up with people in person? I would get tested and be done with the relationship.

You get a divorce. Set up visitation schedules for you guys with the kids and move on. He has already given you multiple reasons to not trust him.

Leave! He won’t change.

Throw the whole man in the trash… leave his ass girl :wave:

Why would you even have to ask???
Get the yourself and the kids the hell outta there!

1 Like

Another unpopular opinion. Have you thought about an open relationship? It’s definitely not for everyone but I know people that have very loving relationships that are open.

7 Likes

I can forgive sexting. It’s the physical act or emotional connection for me

1 Like

So 13 years ago u had major red flags but ignored it? I mean the ending was basically predicted and laid out.

8 Likes

Whatever you decide to do, just remember CHEATING is a CHOICE not a MISTAKE!

4 Likes

Kick him out and move on. There is literally no going back now. My ex husband cheated on me with a co worker he saw everyday, spent more time at work than he did with us and we tried, we did counseling, he did everything I asked him to (changed email, number, I had all access to his phone) and I couldn’t get those memories of finding out and conversations out of my head. Tried for 3 years and it just turned into anger and resentment so I left. We have 2 kids together and it’s rough, but it’s been the best decision for my kids and I. I couldn’t keep being angry and depressed about it.

1 Like

I walked out on my husband after the other woman walked out of our bedroom naked. We’re still married legally and they have 11 kids together at last count. I could file for custody of all (but why would I?) and get it because we are married according to his state laws. I would speak with an attorney asap. Don’t let things drag on like i did and make sure you have as much proof of infidelity as you can get. When i finally filed my lawyer laughed at the thought of my husband trying to fight what I wanted based on she was already pregnant with the first two when i caught them and both had weapon and drug convictions

1 Like

Open a second bank account, see a lawyer,make a plan. You have known for years something was up.Your children will learn about relationships from both of your examples,make sure they learn the right lessons. He will not change, it is not your fault it is his issues. Get out out and live the life you deserve. :heart::muscle::heart:

4 Likes

Sometimes it’s just hard to leave. I just don’t think
It’s his first time and wow. You don’t want to get a nasty std and I would go get check.

LEAVE Once a Cheater always a CHEATER!!!

1 Like

Pack up them babies and LEAVE

Talk to him be honest be adults and go from there my hubby did at the beginning of relationship we decided to keep trying for me it worked out but if you leave that’s what you decide talk to him and see were it goes also once a cheater is not true my husband stopped I fully trust him now and know he wouldn’t do it again I have full access to his phone and know all his passwords I don’t even use any of it because again he changed his act stepped up and honestly In my case husband was young and dumb

5 Likes

I would leave him if he’s doing it now and has been he will never change

You either live with it and stay or you move on and don’t look back on the relationship part. He is still the father of your children so you will always be tied to him in some form but as a woman and a wife, this behavior is not ok and it will slowly degrade your mental health over time. Counseling is always an option; however, you need to ask yourself if you can make your marriage work on your end since you’ve had suspicions for years now. Staying with him also shows this behavior is acceptable. Lots of soul searching to do and talk to a counselor at least for yourself.

6 Likes

He needs to get help. Cause that’s not normal. If he gets help and you want to stay. Ok. If he won’t get help. Move the fuck on. Have some self dignity.

Honestly, you know in your heart how you feel about this. If you feel like you’re fed up, leave. If not talk to him. But like you said, the red flags were there in the beginning. I’ve looked past a lot of red flags myself. But cheating has never been an issue. You deserve someone that loves you and only wants you. Thsts some fuckboy shit.

If he’s doing that what else is he doing ? Make a plan and leave

Is so easy for people to say leave. We never know what we truly would do until we are in that situation. It is possible for people to make it through. Talk to him and do some self searching with yourself. Get a counsellor for you 100%. Do what’s right for you not what everyone thinks you should do. Stay, leave, only you know what’s right and works for you and your family. Hugs to you

8 Likes

Forgiveness is permission!!! LEAVE!!!

2 Likes

I don’t want to be the rude one, because I feel like this is a support group, but I also feel like you should know the answer to this question already. If he has been throwing up red flags related to cheating for 13 years, it’s never going to stop. Unless you’re okay with an unfaithful husband, it’s time to go. Having kids has nothing to do with it either. That should be more motivation for you to leave and be in a healthy relationship, either with yourself or with someone else. Your kids, if you have sons, need a great example of how they should treat their future girlfriend/wife and if you have daughters, they need a good example of how they should be treated in future relationships. A father that’s a cheater and a mother who has the trauma of being cheated on, are NOT examples to set for your children.

14 Likes

Unless y’all go for counseling, and he is willing… it won’t change

2 Likes

Never heard of that app!

Well you could get a kik yourself and catfish jim to see if he really is cheating on you
You could take a break and tell him why then say that you want counseling and if you don’t want to be with him anymore you can take the steps to leave

1 Like

If you stay, you’ll live with constant worry and anxiety. If it’s been going on this long chances are it won’t change. Best to move on.

2 Likes

File for emergency custody so he can’t keep them from you until a hearing, and leeeeaaave. I’m so sorry…I know exactly what you are going through. :pensive:

3 Likes

Lots to process and big choices to make… good luck…

Tell him what a selfish inconsiderate asshole he is for being a married man and for not putting his wife and children first, tell him that it’s so selfish to not even consider how badly that would hurt yalls children knowing that he chose other women over their own mother. That destroys children and definitely sets a bad example for the children and their future relationships and not to mention it’s hurting you, the wife and mother of his children, if I were you I would just make it very clear that he’s being selfish and he needs to make a decision and needs to make it now

Forgiveness is basically permission to do it again so leave. 13 years of red flags just shows he has no respect for you, your family or the relationship you two have so you’re wasting your time being with him. Life’s too short and your time is precious, he doesn’t deserve another second of it. Please leave

2 Likes

Girl get a divorce and take him to the cleaners

1 Like

Throw him in the fucken bin :face_vomiting::face_vomiting:

It took me 12 years to leave. Best choice I ever made! Leave when you are ready.

1 Like

Kick his ass to the curb!

Honey, you should’ve left when you noticed the red flags at the beginning.

Just because he on a site dont mean hes cheating but one thing ticks me off. When a man does its all wrong but when its women doing it its ok

red flags for 13 years and you haven’t dumped him yet…. SMH. people gonna treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you. At this point, either dump him or get used to it

Not easy to do but, put your personal feels momentarily aside. Seek the advice of counsel on how to proceed in your state. Ask him to leave the home and file separation papers as a line of demarcation. Then demand he do some counseling (not because you want him back) to find out the extent of his online activity. If the app is for younger people, something far more severe could be amuck. If he is forthcoming in counseling and willing to change - take it one day at a time. If no change after 3-6 months, seek counsel to look at divorce.

I’m sorry but once they cheat. You never get that trust back. It never goes back to the way it was before. My advice would be to leave.