Hello, I’m not really sure where to begin here… my boyfriend and I haven’t even been together for a year yet, and I am already made to feel undesirable. I thought maybe it was because we have children around us most of the time (from past relationships), but here lately when we are both home kid free there is absolutely no intimacy whatsoever. No hugging, no kissing, nothing. When I’m not at work I’m tending to the kids and cleaning the house, shopping for the house, getting school things ready etc. He spends 90% of his off time either playing video games or watching anime. I’ve noticed he has been watching porn (which I am not concerned about, I feel it’s pretty natural for a human to be curious and watch) but I cant help but feel a little sad and really just undesirable seeing that he doesnt even want to be with me sexually. I could be butt naked in front of him and he won’t even look away from the tv or his phone. I’ve voiced my concerns to him and he just shrugs it off like its nothing… am I being too demanding? I don’t think hes cheating, I have caught him in lies before but that was a whole other unrelated ordeal that we fixed… I’m just starting to feel really self conscious when I never had an issue feeling that way. I’m not sure what to do and dont have many friends to talk to about it and I’m embarrassed to talk to the ones I do have. My feelings are hurt and I’m just not sure why he wouldn’t want to share that closeness with me anymore. Thank you for making it this far with my rambling, I’m just really confused and hurt. Xoxo
He either has low testosterone, depressed, cheating, or really just doesn’t want you anymore to be honest. Ask him to go to the Dr and get checked out and keep an eye for more red flags is all you can do.
I wish i had answer here. I feel like this is almost every man ive ever been very close too. Ive embraced the single life. Less damage to myself/mentality that way. Hugs to you tho
Not all guys are overly sexual. Not saying this is your case but women are are so quick to think somethings wrong with them if their man isnt drooling over them every second… myself included! I struggle with this as well. My husband and I have been together 15 years, we have 4 kids together. We are just hitting our 30s… most days I feel like he doesn’t notice me anymore. But he goes to work, comes home to us… his phone lays around, no passwords… he seems happy, we still have a sex life… its just not often. He still grabs my ass once in awhile 
I just honestly feel like we’ve been through that phase of having sex 5xs a day, we are just in a different phase of our relationship. Don’t chalk it up to be something wrong… if he seems happy, maybe he really is.
Set up doctors appointments could be depression
If your relationship is less than a year then something is terrible wrong. If he is watching porn he may be into self pleasure. Otherwise he is probably cheating. Maybe watch him more closely.
I feel this way sometimes but I think woman have been indirectly taught that men want sex all the time and when they don’t we think they are cheating or there is something wrong with us. In reality I think men have become desensitized to sex because it is literally everywhere and easily obtained physically or visually. I also believe testosterone in men is not as high as it use to be because of environmental factors which causes a low sex drive.
Video games and anime are a big problem. If he wants big kid relationships then he needs to act like an adult
It’s only been a year and that’s already a problem. If your love language is being intimate and he’s not willing to meet your needs. I’d let that mango…
You have every right to feel some type of way about this. If he just constantly shrugs your feelings off, leave him. It’ll never change. I’ve been there before. Save yourself the wasted time. Get out. You deserve someone you make you feel good and loved.
Don’t assume he’s not cheating. Not saying he is but if the signs are there. If he wasn’t watching porn would be in one bc maybe he’s just exhausted not into sex but obv he is so??? Girl follow him. Check up on him bc something is off 
I’m having the same problem with my boyfriend too, I mean unless I initiate it, we won’t do anything either. So I’m sorry I don’t have an answer either.
He could be addicted to porn and gets satisfaction from it join him and ask questions like “don’t you want to try that style with me” pointing to the content talk to him openly about how you feel he might open up it could be low libido aswel
Time to find a better man
Start initiating it and see what happens. I’m sorry. I hate that feeling. You can also put on some lingerie and see if that helps! If not then I would move on personally
you are being used -housekeeper and babysitter ,get out before you are broken mentally.
He’s watching porn and doesn’t want to fool around with you? Either he 8s depressed, low T, or cheating !
I think it’s extremely important to have an open, honest conversation about this. Sit him down and say you’d like to talk about it. Voice your concerns about the relationship and your future together.
There could be something going on that he is embarrassed to tell you. But if he continues to brush you off instead of opening up about it, I honestly think you’d be better off moving on.
Try initiating the romantic mood on your kid free nights. Send him to the store to get something random and Maybe while he’s out, dress up or cosplay like a sexy nurse or anime character, and see where that takes you when he gets home.
Talking from expirence…he just not into you anymore.
I know sometimes as mother’s we get so caught up in life and with kids we forget to take care of ourselves sometimes like with makeup and stuff. Maybe he feels like it’s same old stuff different day? I’d say try going on Amazon and buy some nice sexy outfits and do your makeup and try to spice it up in the bedroom after the kids are in bed. I know for me and my husband we went through something like this once and I understand where your coming from. But i did what I suggested and we even managed to get away from the kids during day for some quickies. All I know is if there’s a will there’s a way!
Doesn’t sound like your ‘soulmate’…sorry
i would leave. no way would i be with someone who showed no interest.
If it’s an issue for you talk to him about it. If that doesn’t help then live with it or move on.
Slip him viagra and wait 
Leave
He’s using you as a babysitter and housewife without the emotional side of the relationship.
I’d be willing to bet he uses some kinda drugs an it’s messing with his desire to have sex . I’m not trying to talk shit just stating what has happen to me before
Maybe you should sit down & just talk. There are many men at a certain age start have some problems getting a erection. And they could be really bother by it. Even though it’s very common. So just maybe watching the porn he thinks might help him. But it really doesn’t. He then needs to speak to his Dr. Also many men also get very embarrassed by this, thinking they aren’t a man anymore. So it is a very sensitive subject. Then again he just doesn’t care anymore.
You could of actually wrote this about my ex relationship. He was cheating and being innapropriate with other women.turned abusive too, get out now x
I couldn’t stay somewhere I wasn’t desired. He treats you like you’re his mother not romantic partner. I think it’s time to go.
Find some one that wants to make u a priority…if it only been a year imagine the hell at 5 yrs
Leave. I only read the first line but if you’re not married get out. Best advice I can give you. 
Depression takes many different forms, could be that he’s in a funk. Personally I would just voice this to him and see where it goes. Nobody here knows the situation more than you and him. But girl don’t ever let someone else make you feel undesirable. Hard sometimes ik.
As someone whose been in that position (although he ended up drugging me and selling me to his friends while I was passed out on the drugs he shot me up with, stole my debit card and my car even though he’s never had a license, to go buy alcohol while I was sleeping, and I was the only one working 4 jobs just to stay a foot in debt because he couldn’t be bothered to stop the video games and get a job, but not in debt enough to get sued until 4 years of his bullshit and then got sued by capital one), you do not deserve that, no one does. Please realize your worth and leave. It may be hard, and it may be depressing and lonely for a while, but please leave. It took me having my son after 11 years of the torture my ex put me through for me to finally wake up and leave. I was suicidal and had just had an organ removed and had already prepared my note when my son turned 2 and my now boyfriend started talking to me. My now boyfriend saved my life and kept my son from being an orphan and is the most amazing human being I’ve ever met and his family loves me and considers me one of their own. Had I not walked away from exactly what you’re about to go through, my son would be horribly damaged in my ex’s custody as I would’ve taken my life to get away from him. People that choose video games, porn, and tv over a bare naked woman in front of them are not capable of actual love. People like that are narcissistic and psychopathic only caring for their own desires at best, in my case my ex is a sociopath. Either case, you need to leave and be alone until you find someone that truly values you and loves you. Someone that can’t even look away from the tv or turn the games off when you’re standing naked in front of them does not care about your feelings and doesn’t value you. You’re better than that, honey. Please realize your worth, you deserve better.
Leave! Life is too short!
If you wouldn’t put up with it in someone new, you don’t need to put up with it now. He’s just going to stay as long as you put up with it. Having issues is one thing, but the lack of communication or concern of your feelings is unacceptable.
It could be stress and depression. You need to communicate with him and let him know exactly how you feel. Sometimes they don’t know there’s a problem unless it’s addressed directly. If communication doesn’t work, or even counseling, it may be time to move on. You could try different things to regain that spark. One on one time, dates, getting a babysitter. You could watch porn with him, play games and watch anime too. People have different ways to decompress and deal with stress and life. You two may have completely different love languages.
Alot of leave messages instead of having a sit down conversation with him. Maybe he’s depressed. Depression comes in many forms so video games and watching tv doing absolutely nothing is possibly one of them. Being depressed can cause sexual intimacy issues even if they are looking at porn. I’ve dated someone whose testosterone was low and so sex wasn’t always on the table but they still viewed porn/nudie mags from boredom. (No getting hard from it just pure boredom) no he wasn’t cheating. It was legitly low testosterone and medications he was on. His dick couldn’t get hard very often without a lot of work behind it.
Have that conversation, see if anything changes. If nothing changes at all, than it’s time to express that you may want to split up
A group where we all tell you to leave them
Are you serious
Be more self caring as far as watching porn
Ask your self why isn’t he doing it with you
The answer is simple
His got you to look after his kind and him
From past experience I’m just going to keep this short and sweet. When you are not wanted at all or only when it’s convenient to him it’s never going to get better. I promise there is better fish in the sea. Found mine! We are like morticia and Gomez he’s completely obsessed with me! Girl please do yourself a favor stop questioning yourself because it’s not you it’s him!
Not everyone wants to just throw the towel in on a relationship!
Sounds like its time to close that chapter in your book before u feel stuck. U already brought it up and no change then its time to move fwd. I totally understand how u feel. Life is short be happy and move on especially if u dont have kids together. U cant make him change if he isnt ready and doesnt think he has a problem. I hope u find a solution sooner then later. Best of luck
Look if you feel that way and he isn’t paying attention to your needs then there’s a issue not good .so next time you get rid. Of kids for a night get all sexy dressed and go stand right in front of the TV and make him see you get dressed a bit sleepy if you must lol but do what ot takes to turn his head then take that controller out of his hand and im sure you’ll know what to do from there
WHHHHHYYYYYY would you continue to simply be an option for someone who chooses to not make you a priority. Girl, you should know better. If he prioritizes video games, porn, and anime above that IS your answer. You’re a roommate. Who cleans the house, cooks, and takes care of his kids, all stuff he doesn’t want to do. AT BEST, you’re enabling his behavior by doing everything for him and not setting expectations and boundaries in your relationship. Are you his mother? Stop doing those things for him. Stop begging for his attention. Wake up! You deserve better. Demand it and follow through.
You haven’t been together a year and you are living together, have your kids there while you have them, watch his kids, and he doesn’t even help? Talk about red flags.
Leave if your not happy however talk to him
I’m sorry this is happening to you, it screws with your head and kills your self esteem. It’s a really horrible feeling 
Porn actually is a problem and needs to be dealt with. Follow Fight the New Drug for more info on this detrimental issue.
He’s playing games…don’t waste ur time
Id try to talk to him about how you feel again and if that doesn’t work id take the kids and just leave
Sweetie, I’m sure it’s not you. I have heard from handfuls of guys (I am a female gamer, and so that is the gender I associate with the most) that it is just “easier” to watch porn, “rub one out real quick” and go about their day. It’s really sad that we ladies are meant to feel alone and undesired over it… Good luck to you hun 
You gotta ask yourself is this how you want to feel all the time. You deserve the best
Find a bf who is interested in you…obviously he isn’t. I wouldn’t beg or force anyone for attention. Either its there or it isn’t.
He probably like dudes on low key
Thank Heavens you don’t have kids together yet so if you are so unhappy and have tried to communicate with him with no results, is this the way you want to continue? Some men just are cold and uncaring so sounds like you are fortunate to have found out now, just what you would have to live with if you stayed!
It could be depression or low T
Sweetie dont be kissing any toads when prince charming comes along he will turn the other way be selfish love yourself life is too short for unhappiness
He’s a freeloader; you’re the enabler.
No one can make you feel anything you don’t let them. Take your power back. Talk to him and if nothing changes, walk.
Make a porn for him of you see where it goes don’t be afraid to make the first move play dress up use toys and porn if he isn’t into anything when you did everything then you have your answer he also might have a problem down there that he doesn’t want to talk about