My son will be turning 4 soon. I have two stepdaughters also. My son wants to go to the zoo as a birthday gift. He’s never been before (zoo is 3 hours away) and the girls have been quite a few times with us. I told my husband I would like it to be a special day for him and focus on him that day, and do it on the weekend before his birthday when the girls would be with their mom. We have also done special trips with the girls for their birthdays before while the other one stayed with grandparents so it’s not like we haven’t done this for them. My husband wants to take the girls with us. This would be fine normally but 1) I really want it to be special for my son since this would be his gift from us and the older daughter is really good about making family outings revolve around her/what she wants to do and 2) the 3 of us never go anywhere when we don’t have the girls, I’ve tried to get my husband to go out but he pretty much refuses because he wants to have all the kids even though the girls go camping or other fun places with their mom. How should I approach my husband on this because I’ve never really brought up the issue much but this time it’s bugging me because it‘s my son’s birthday? Thanks!
Your are an eveil stepmother. Of course the girls should get to go with their brother for his birthday. It sounds like you just dont like his kids. I hope he put them over your skank ass and lets them go.
That’s a little harsh.
I don’t think this is a hill you should die on. Include the girls, the boy is 3 and won’t even remember it. Plan another outing with just the 3 of you that doesn’t include a birthday celebration. Being a stepparent means you have to make some sacrifice of your own needs/wants - I assume you knew he had other children before you married him? Try loving those girls like they are your own children, because in a way - they are.
you know what I think would be a great idea next time you have the girls, take the girls out for a “girls day” lunch, movie or whatever. Try to bond with them and start looking at them as your adopted daughters rather than the stepdaughters who intrude on your famly time. another note, Tell your husband you would appreciate if you can plan an activity just for the 3 of you sometime when a birthday is not involved, to get that alone time you are craving. There’s nothing wrong with wanting alone time with just your son and husband, but birthdays are traditionally inclusive of the entire family - especially siblings.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I do not want my stepkids to go to the zoo for my sons birthday: Thoughts?
Bless your step kids hearts
Put your foot down. Its his birthday period. Go to the beach or a park with the girls the following weekend
Everything you are telling us you need to tell him in details like you are with us . so he knows what you are trying to tell him . And how you feel about all this .
Don’t marry someone with kids if you aren’t going to love them like your own.
You should definitely not be a stepmom. Also she’s a young female probably in puberty. So yeah she thinks things revolve around her. That’s pretty normal lol 
If you do separately for the girls on their birthday I don’t see why you can’t do it for your son
Honestly…I say shame on you. I don’t blame your husband for wanting his daughters to go 
Leave husband at home too 
Do you remember anythong you did at 4 years old ?
Emoji slap for you lady
Family bonding time all together is great. He might have more fun with other kids around, rather than just his parents.
If they weren’t your step daughters would you still leave them behind ?
You should WANT them to go. Sorry. Just my opinion. Family is family. No need to divide it. You should look at them like they’re “your” kids as well
This all screams jealous? Maybe you should address that first? Therapy? So this is how the evil step mother was created lol
If I had children from a previous marriage and my new spouse didn’t want to include my children, that spouse would soon be an ex.
Compromise, tell him you are going to the zoo just the 3 of you the week before and you can do something else on his birthday with the girls included
As a stepparent myself, you are horrible. That is just plain rude.
If you have left your son out to do things with just his daughters then I would put your foot down. But if you’re just saying that you’ve left one daughter with Grandma or Grandpa and took the other one out and then it’s not the same thing. If you are not willing to leave your son home to take out the daughters then honestly you have no right to tell him he has to leave his daughter’s home.
What difference does it make what they do with their mom? If your hubby wants his kids involved let them be involved…I don’t understand this mentality and it’s sad
You should probably get a divorce if you can’t treat your “stepkids” as your own🤷🏻♀️
You sound like a horrible step mom.
He deserves a special trip, just like they have got. If push comes to shove, leave your husband at home too. If its good for one, it’s good for all. Seems he was okay with his other kids having special days about them.
Sorry but when you marry someone that already has kids you have to include them as well you are very heartless. And shouldn’t have married someone with kids
One on one time with each child is important. Maybe go twice if you can, if it’s that serious the other kids go too. But your son deserves to have that trip just for him.
I feel bad if I take my kids to the zoo and don’t take my nieces and nephews, couldn’t imagine not taking my step kids
I would be hurt if my stepmom didn’t want me to go on an outing with my sisters when I was younger
Lol you suck. I’d be so upset if my other half intentionally wanted to leave my other child out of a fun outing.
Go to therapy.
There’s times I don’t want to bring my own child along for somethings with his brother. Kids are entitled to do things alone with their parents for special time. I don’t see anything wrong with it.
You need to grow up! You child would love to have his sisters there!
The way I understand it is that all the kids get special trips alone on birthdays? If this is accurate then I think him going without sisters is fair. However, if the girls won’t be getting birthday trips alone, then no thats not okay.
Man, I’d straight up tell my fiancé to go to hell if he didn’t want his bonus kids to be at our daughters party. They are part of the family, and shouldn’t be excluded.
What does the birthday boy want?
Simple. Tell him that’s what’s happening. He either comes or doesn’t.
I understand what your saying but it’s still unfair. There children. I’d plan a day trip for just you and your son for bonding time.
This is a you problem. Get your head around the fact that those girls are your husband’s daughters, this shit is why step mums get a bad name.
If you get with a man who has kids and decide to be a family you take those kids on as yours so shame on you!!!
Horrible, why are you with someone if you don’t treat your “step daughters” like your own? I could never.
Sounds like your not meant to be a stepmom because if you were you would want them to go you need to grow up and let his sisters go to zoo to celebrate his birthday
I’m a step mom as well and I understand wanting him to have his special day but it is never okay to leave children out! I would do something just the 3 of you another day and simple but going to the zoo should be a whole family thing
I think parents need to spend time with each child alone but I’m not sure that trip would be a good idea. I understand where you are coming from but do you ever do anything with each step daughter alone? Maybe ask they if they want to and if each one wants to plan an outing separate with you and your other.
Wow… can I have your step kids and son … you sound like a narc in the making
I’d divorce your ass 
Go just you and your son.
Your totally selfish. Your step kids should be thought of as your kids also. Your son would probably enjoy their company. Just put your foot down if the stepdaughter tries to take over the plans. But if you can’t think of the stepkids as your also you should never gotten together with this man.
I think you said you have done separate events/outings with just the girls?! If each kid gets a special solo day I don’t see an issue. If it’s just one kid getting it then yes that’s a problem. I have mommy dates where I take one of my kids at a time out so they get some solo time.
So your son gets to have his birthday without his sisters? 
that hurts my heart. Poor girls and poor boy
I bet you your son would want his sisters to be there.
I don’t understand some of these comments - If they can take his kids on special trips without their sibling / step sibling, why can’t her son have the same?
Then you better do individual days with all of them
They’re also your son’s siblings. You should encourage them to have a relationship where they’re close. I’m curious to know the daughter that “makes it about herself’s” age. I doubt your 4 year old would even notice that unless YOU made everyone feel that way. He’s going to feed off of other’s energies.
“They do other fun stuff with their mom” okay, then just take him by yourself, since it’s a huge concern.
There’s so much wrong with this post, so imma leave it there
If the step kids got special trips then it’s only fair that the other child does too. Everyone deserves special trips just for them.
Take your own damn son to the damn Zoo by yourself.
Go to unbothered step mama on tik tok 
she really knocks stuff out the park for these type of situations.
And your husband does the right thing by not excluding them. He’s not gonna be upset if his step sisters are there and even if they make it about them he’s 3 
I see no issue ! Having step kids who rotate weekends in your home does NOT mean you can’t do 1 on 1 with your biological child. If stepkids mother wanted to do something with her girls and did it on a weekend when she was home nobody would say anything !!! I do stuff with my kids on a regular that doesn’t mean I don’t love them all !!! As a child my son wants 1 on 1 time with us - I added other kids to our family not my child. How I feel isn’t how my children feel
I completely understand. Explain it to your husband and let him know y’all really doesnt get alone time with just you 3. If he doesnt like it then oh well
So you don’t want your sons siblings to go to his birthday just you, him and dad? Couldn’t you do that any other weekend
There is no good way to approach this because it is really just awful. You married a man who has kids. They are now part of your family. I suggest you get over the idea of “making it special” by excluding members of the family, and children at that, because it is really just a crappy thing to do.
Leave your husbands a$$ at home too
Would they go if they were your daughters…I don’t understand we never use step or half. We are a family one family.
Despicable person, sounds like you don’t like your step kids, I’m sure when they get older you will bitch and complain at hoe they don’t like you. Well lady this is why.
You should be thanking God that you have a man like this.
You shouldn’t approach him because you sound like a really crappy stepparent. As a divorced mother with a child, i would be livid if this happened to my daughter. Do you take the girls out for one on one time with both of you for their birthdays? I’m guessing not or else your husband wouldn’t have a problem with it. I hope he leaves you.
You lost me at stepkids
I’m sure you’ll get attacked for this but I say there is nothing wrong with spending special time with 1 child. As a mom of 4 we do this all the time. BUT when you mention stepkids I’m sure these mamas will be up in armsssss! Spend the day with your son! Do something with all the kids when you have the girls.
I am a step mother of two and have my own child from a previous relationship. I would refuse to do anything for my kids birthday if his siblings weren’t there. Or wait till they could be. Just explain to the child you have the most issue with that this is her brothers first time and this is his day. Most kids can understand if you just sit and have a conversation to them and treat them like a person…
You can definitely tell who are similar acting stepmoms in the comments.
As a parent of multiple children, I ALWAYS did things with them individually. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it… and all my kids have the same dad. Every child needs to be the center of attention occasionally. Go, even if he won’t go. It will be a good time for you and your son. 
And those are his sisters!!! How messed up
May someone take you for a walk….
I don’t think it is fair to compare what the girls do when they are with their mother. That is their time with her. Their dad is totally in the right to expect that his girls get to go celebrate with your son while they are at your home.
Sounds like your husband wants to do stuff as a family. I’m a little confused as to why you want to do everything separately. My stepmom never separated us for birthdays. We always did birthday stuff together as a family.
Make it a Mom and son’ only Day 
you both Deserve it.
If you aren’t willing to include your “step kids” and are already creating a divide, this is a lose lose situation all around. He’s 4. Having his siblings there will only make it more fun. Stop creating unnecessary drama.
Those girls are his sister’s!!! This seems a little petti, if this is the way you think I can guarantee you will have issues in your relationship with the girls & husband,
Nope you’re treating step kids differently when you get married they become your kids you ain’t shit
I do not agree with everyone else. If they have gone on special trips with you just them why is it so bad that you take your son on a special trip?
Okay some of these people are missing what you said. You have given the girls their own special days alone and your son deserves the same. Take him on the weekend they aren’t there I don’t see the harm. This is not treating them differently than your own if you have done the same for them. You are allowed to do family things with your live in family without the other children they aren’t always there and there’s nothing wrong with that. As long as they are getting the same treatments for their birthdays I don’t see an issue.
How about having a conversation together with the girls. Let them know, yes yall are going to the zoo, but its XYZ’s bday and if HE wants to go see the zebras, then thats what yall are gonna do. If HE wants to eat at the Taco truck instead of the burger truck, then thats what lunch is. Explain to the girls that they have special days and things that yall do with them, and this specific day is their brothers turn. Dont not include them, thats just mean. Just try to have conversation about the expectations. Maybe even include the bio mom…
If they are with their mom I think it would be fine to take him out on his birthday to the zoo y’all can still do family things when it’s just the 3 of y’all!!!
Oh man, all these negative comments and I’m like… both my kids are just mine and on many occasions I’ve taken just one to do stuff. I keep it even between them and they don’t care 
You should be ashamed…why not encourage them having a relationship…thank goodness your husband does right by all of the.
You know your step kids are your sons sisters though right? Just wanted to check you were aware of that
Yikes! You are so wrong. That’s your son’s sisters! They should celebrate with him
Don’t listen to these people saying you are awful. I completely understand where you are coming from. And yes I have step children. It’s perfectly okay for each child to be taken separately on a trip. They go places without him so what is the difference. Take just your son and have a great time!!
Not fair to leave the girls out. They will see that and think you don’t want them around. Blended family.
Wow girl honestly why be with someone who has children if you don’t see them as your own.
If you don’t consider your step kids as your kids please do everyone a favor and leave
EW you are gross. You are either a family or not. Your family has to share with the girls , of course mom is going to take them places! Would you behave this way if he had them full time? You are awful at blending your families. Your husband is on the right track his son is not separate from his sisters , he will never see it that way. Most families celebrate together.
I understand what you’re saying but why can’t y’all go the weekend before then the following weekend take the girls and you’re son and go do something .
I had step kids before and we still done stuff without them and done stuff with them . Enjoyed it when we were all together . It was a lot of fun.
make it a family celebration, but you do something special with him on a different day
I think it depends on their ages. Are they also around 4 or closer to 12? Closer to his age I say they go, closer to 12 I think they could stay
He needs to accommodate when y’all don’t have the three girls to do things . But you need to accommodate those girls that are yours, y’all are one family in his heart Now we see where you stand, in the middle