I do not want to send my daughter to Florida...advice?

So my 5 year old daughters dad is moving to Florida at the end of the month and we have to change his visitation. I have sole custody of my daughter and her dad right now he has every other weekend. I’m not sure what he’s looking for when it comes to his visitation time when he moves there. He said we will discuss it at our court date but my daughter has never been on a plane before and I wouldn’t want to start her being on a plane by herself with a flight attendant watching her and her father said he wouldn’t fly back up and fly with her. I don’t feel comfortable sending her to Florida to begin with at sucha young age. Just a nervous mom when it comes to this stuff

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He’s choosing to move so far away he should be the one coming to and from to get her. Stand your ground in the court hearing

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I was a kid who flew a lot as an “unaccompanied minor” and let me tell you it’s really not so bad from a kids perspective. A lot of airports have really fun areas for the kids over hang out during a layover flight, too. I remember in St Paul airport they had video games, snacks, books, coloring stuff. And a lot of times they will let the kiddos come up into the cockpit and see the inside of the plane. Very cool. I often got sat next to a lot of pilots too who were excellent at explaining turbulence and stuff. Really made flying as a whole a lot less scary.

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Sounds like the court day will be your best bet to hash this out. I’m not even sure if they will fly a 5 year old being only attended by a flight attendant that seems a bit too young for that. He may have to give in and fly to get her. Sounds like maybe his priority is a bit twisted but I don’t know the whole story. Keep your head up and continue to advocate for your daughter

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Get a lawyer & stand firm. It’s his choice to move & you are her primary supporter he pays transportation. You & your daughter shouldn’t have to suffer more financial burden due to his choice. If he won’t come get her & bring her back she can’t go. It’s unsafe for her travel alone. People are going crazy on planes. It’s unsafe to travel by plane. You’re going to need a lawyer or you will get pressured into something that’s unsafe. Courts don’t really care about the child. It’s focused on his rights. Don’t try to take his right to have a relationship with his daughter from him. Offer alternatives like coming to see her for a week or whatever at a time. If he says he can’t because of work ask him who the child would be with while he works if she was with him. She’s traveling miles away from home to stay with a stranger??? Offer video visits 2-3xs a week if he wants it. Schedule times so you & daughter are prepared & available. Offer to send pics & videos of important events. Be as accommodating as possible while refusing to let him out your daughter in a dangerous situation.

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In my situation my then 6 and 8 year old daughters would fly to Florida as unaccompanied minors on direct flights only. I put them on the plane at the gate and dad got them at the gate when they landed. Your ex will likely be responsible for all travel expenses (including unaccompanied minors fees, which can be about $150 per child each way, in addition to plane tickets and baggage fees).
I’d put an apple air tag on her when she travels.

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In ohio our judge wouldn’t even consider the plane ride until my daughter was 13. She was 6 when her dad moved out of state

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I was sent through the airports alone as a kid (I had an amazing time but that’s not the point to this story) the flight attendants who were supposed to be accompanying me never showed up and I flew completely alone across the country.
As a kid I thought I was so cool.
As a parent I think it’s a freaking miracle I didn’t get kidnapped.

If he’s not going to fly with her I wouldn’t send her.

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My parents had it where they met in the middle and exchanged us ( me and my bro) during school breaks and every other holiday.

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Yeah, I would not be OK with my 5yo doing that either so definitely bring it up at the court date. The fact that he’s not even willing to come up where you are and get her is crazy to me. 

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I do not allow my son to fly unaccompanied. There’s been children lost, molested and taken from unaccompanied flights. Someone even made a video and posted it on social media how they were able to sit next to a child for over 30 minutes without anyone checking on the child. Her age alone would be a major concern for me. I would not allow her to go. And would cite that her father made the decision to move farther away. That’s not your problem or your daughter’s problem. If he wants to be in her life then he can travel to you and stay in town for visits.

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My ex and I split when our son was only 3 months old. We moved back to my home state where all of my family is. Anyway, my son has been flying from Illinois to Arizona to see his dad since he was 6 months old. He has NEVER flown alone though! It’s either his dad, myself, or his grandmother flying with him. He is responsible for all travel expenses. Now that he’s of school age, we redid our parenting plan. He gets spring break, 6-7 weeks in the summer, and the full Christmas break 1 year and half the following. Make sure you have a very specific and well thought out agreement with the courts!

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Tbh, kids that are flying by themselves, accompanied by a flight attendant or airport personnel, are actually in really great hands and they make the kids feel special. I’ve flown alone a lot as a kid (my “step” dad is a pilot). I loved it. How far is the drive to Florida from where you live? Y’all might have to meet halfway if it’s possible. My ex lIves in SC and I live in Florida and we meet halfway in GA.

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I couldn’t imagine a court making her go I feel like there not going to make that happen especially every other weekend there is no way a judge would do that
The dad’s the one deciiding to move it’s his problem not the child’s I would tell him during the school year absolutely not and I guarantee the courts will see it the same
There not going to make her go on a plane by herself to her father’s just because he decided to move that’s absolutely ridiculous
If anything he will have to come visit there your child is very young I highly doubt a judge anywhere would stand for that

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Talk to your attorney. Find out if you can make him fly to get her until she is older. Five is very young to be on a plane all alone. I don’t blame you at all.

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My youngest is 5 and I cannot imagine trying to send him on a flight as an unaccompanied minor. He will be 6 in 2 months and I know he would not be able to handle that. At 10 yes but not at 5

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They have nanny’s that will fly back and forth with your child. If the judge decides on y’all’s court date that she will be flying to see her dad then ask if the dad can be paying the fees for a nanny to travel along with her so she’s not alone.

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I guess she doesn’t go then. Make dad come to her for visits

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Keep in mind that it’s not about your or his feelings !!! It’s about the child :+1:

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So much information missing, how old is the child, where is he moving from, ……

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Don’t borrow worries- wait to see what happens next & enjoy your time with her!!

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I have been thru it. My son’s dad lives in FL and me in Michigan. Usually custodial parent gets school year, non custodial gets all school breaks and most of summer. The to and from will be decided in court. My son is 13 and flies by himself round trip 4-5 times a year, and has since he was about 5. Our judge decided that I would cover trip cost of him coming north and dad would cover trips south. cost was our only dispute at time cause dad wanted to split cost of him driving round trip both times (with side trips to random family along and out of the way like South Carolina) that ended up averaging almost $1000-$1500 per drive. I chose using spirit airlines, a one way ticket with unaccompanied minor fee, bought enough in advance, for under$200. The last I knew, spirit offered the lowest unaccompanied minor fee at $100, other airlines were $200 or more for just fee.

If hes moving away from her, then its his job to arrange visitation. At 5yo they surely won’t expect her to fly alone.
So he either needs to get his butt on the plane or he needs to stay put if he wants to see her.

My children were 1 1/2 and 3 years old when my husband and I separated (not divorced though) he went back to his home state and we stayed in Virginia. I asked the judge if we could make it where they weren’t allowed to travel out of state without me because of their age. It was granted. However he wasn’t exactly a mature parent, like he wanted to be a dad yeah but he was more in to the music scene and partying so that probably played a big part in the judge’s decision. It never hurts to ask for what you want, worst case scenario the judge says no and comes up with something else.

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That’s her dad. I don’t understand why people are so willing to have children with people they wouldn’t trust with their kids out of state. It’s weird.

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I don’t see a judge making her, if your not comfortable I would fight it…

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They charge now for unaccompanied minors like 100 dollars and that’s all they do is watch your child but for a weekend she would get there turn around the next day to go home

Most airlines offer an unaccompanied minor program that is mandatory for children 5-14 but I believe in most states unless its court ordered it must be signed off on by both parents and particularly by the one with primary custody

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Check I don’t believe a child can fly alone until they are 10-12 years old!

My youngest is 5 and I can’t imagine sending him on a plane alone. Nope.

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Sounds dangerous to me I wouldn’t be able to do it unless the judge ordered me to

5 is way too young to be flying without mom or dad. Screw that. Hes gonna have to figure it out. Make sure that transportation for. His visits are his responsibility in the court papers

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First you need to educate yourself on the age limit for children to fly alone. I can not imagine that they let a child that young to fly even with the supposed supervision. When I divorced our visitation was that he got a month in the summer and every other Christmas break. I would be responsible for getting her to him and he would be responsible for getting her back. Never came to that as he dropped off the face of earth. Myself I would not allow my child to fly without a parent/grandparent until at least 11.

I don’t think they allow unaccompanied minors anymore. Not sure though.

If the Dad’s moving to Florida to better himself: go . You have Sole Custody of her, when she’s old enough to go visit, fine , until then, I would not have a Child under the age of 16 travel by them selves. :ok_hand::woman_firefighter:

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The court will have to settle it but this kiddo may become a seasoned flier before mom is ready. Some airlines are much friendlier than others for minors flying alone. Long ago when I flew as a minor Southwest became my favorite. They were never on time but I was treated like a real person and not escorted baggage.

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She’ll probably just spend the summers with him. He’ll probably have to fly there to get her since she’s so young

When My nephews were like 7 n 8…N Their mom moved out of state…My brother only signed off with it with court approval…That the boys would never be allowed to fly alone…He would fly with them there…n she would be there at the airport to get them…Coming back…she will fly in with the boys n he would be waiting at rhe airport for them…n she would fly back immediately as well. It worked for them n there was never a issue for their safety.In this case…Consult your lawyer n head to court.

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When you go to court request that he provide the cost for transportation for either himself or yourself to fly her down there and you want her to be accompanied by him or yourself. He is the one who chose to move so he can provide for the cost. They judge may say you both pay half or something but just ask and see what they say.

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My friend is in Michigan and her ex decided to move to Florida. It’s in their court papers that since he chose to move to Florida he was responsible for flying with them there and back til an agreed upon age.

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Go back to court until then don’t let him see or take her she’s way to young …they usually split it up where he gets her one summer u get her the next summer …but plz let judge deside this …good luck .

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if he is moving away that is his decision. he can always come see her! 5 y.o is not d enough to fly. how stressful

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He’s the one moving away, he “should” be responsible for all transportation to and from.

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He may have to fly back and forth until she’s at whatever age an unaccompanied child is allowed to fly with her.
He’ll probably get every other holiday and 6 weeks in the summer
My nephew, who’s in the military gets his 6 year old son every Thanksgiving week, one week during Christmas break alternating Christmas day, every spring break, and the summer (he spends the first week with his mom and the last week before school starts with his mom…the rest of the summer with him).
He has flown to pick him up, and his ex will drop off their son at the airport. They get right on the next flight out. He fly back with him and walks outside the airport and she picks him back up! Sometimes he drives the 13 hours back and forth… just depends.

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So we have a similar situation…judge ordered non custodial parent , living out of state to provide all costs and escorts…w herself or her mother…so im thinking u can request the same.

Get a lawyer. You can stop someone from taking your kid out of state. My friend couldn’t take her twelve year old son out of state to live because the child’s father didn’t want her to. He was a drunken dopehead that got arrested all the time. He was also way behind in his child support but she couldn’t leave the state with the kid because the ex didn’t want her to. Logical visitation with out of state spouse is an extended summer visit and perhaps a holiday. But no she is too young to go by herself.

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Start thinking about holiday and off school schedules as well. Discuss flight escort and payment for flights as well.

Why not fly with her the first few times and stay in an air bnb or a hotel and fly back with her?

I think you need to go to court and make other arrangements ie sending her for the summer and long holidays. At his expense of course. I dont think court will allow you not to send her. She will hopefully be taken good care of by the airline as long as it’s not southwest

I think the minimum age to fly unaccompanied is 10 yrs old. That’s what it was when my daughter flew but that was many years ago…I wouldn’t worry until you have to.

I wouldn’t send her. She’s much to young to go alone and she probably won’t want to go without you. Maybe he just does FaceTime and a few weeks in the summer when he can make the flights with her.

5 years old on a plane without mom or dad.? Maybe you could call Biden and get the secret service to escort her.

I sent my children to there grandparents , paid extra for flight attendant. Never had a problem did it for years. They loved visiting and the flight never scared them

You can deny plane … I did and it worked. He is the one moving to another state. It’s on him for trip charge. I refuse to let my kids fly to their dad’s. The judge agreed. So he has to drive and get them.

So I have three daughters. My kids father live in Alabama I live in NYS court ordered he gets school vacations. I said I’m not sending my 3,4,7 year old to Alabama by themselves so we came up with an agreement. Every other vacation I bring them there and every other vacation he comes here to see them. I stay there the whole time they are there bc I will not leave them 1200 miles away by themselves. We split the cost of what it is for us to get there, we drive bc I personally am not buying 4 plane tickets every other month on a school vacation. That’s too much money. So I just drive my car by myself with the kiddos and it only costs about $500 round trip in gas. Idk what your situation is with your BD but I stay right at mines house and don’t pay for a hotel then I’m right there the whole time. He goes out and does whatever he wants with them and I’ll stay back so he gets his time with the babes. But I’m not comfortable leaving them that far away without me. Just sharing what happened with me in that situation maybe it’ll give you an idea on how to make it easier with your LO.