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QUESTION:
"My husband of 4 years we have been together 20 years this year told me when drunk that 15 years ago when he was abroad with the army he slept with a prostitute once i dont know how i feel about this it was a long time ago do i have the right to be upset we get on great we have 2 kids he said it by accident i think and now is trying to take it back saying he was lying it was a joke i dont know how to feel"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Talk about it and move on. Was a long time ago."
"He probably did it more than once, but when you’re married to the military nothing should shock you. It just depends on how YOU feel."
"I find that the truth usually comes out when someone is drunk. Since is was 15 years ago, talk about it, go to counseling and move on."
"It was a long time ago. I think you should talk about it, then move on."
"Well, now the wound is open. You need to decide if you want to heal it or let it stay open forever. If you believe you can’t get past it, just leave now. If you want to heal it, start by talking about it thoroughly. Maybe some counseling. With time the wound can heal."
"Talk and move on… 15 years ago not yesterday"
"He definitely wasn’t joking, he cheated. That being said, it was 15 years ago. If it were me, I would be pretty upset but we would hash it out and probably move on. You have every right to be mad and he will have to earn your trust back."
"As long as he doesn’t have a kid from there coming to meet daddy…let it go and forgive if you feel your relationship is on solid ground now. One thing for sure a drunk seldom lies."
"He must have been holding onto the guilt for years. Speaking to a professional could help you overcome your hurt. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was, this is a fresh wound for you."
"He obviously felt very guilty for it if it still weighed on his mind 15 years later. You’re allowed to be upset, but remember what you two have built together and try to move forward."
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