I don’t know how to feel

I need advice or something…

Sorry for the long read.
So I have been married for nine years but we split for two years a couple years ago. And we have a son. He’s a good person with a big heart. But not so good at communicating and being romantic. That’s not the point, when we first started dating I was getting ready to move to Texas and my two cousins had a going away party for me, he ended up being there. And by the end of the night I was so drunk I barely remember anything, but what he told me, he basically sexually assaulted me or as he put it took advantage of me. And if it weren’t for my two friends in the room he probably would have raped me. Now I’ve known this for awhile about both but I never fully understood that it was assault until now (no judgements please) so however I’ve always felt uneasy and uncomfortable about what happened but it never occurred to me because I’m sure I consented to an extent. Note: he was completely sober. I told him about how I feel and he feels terrible but I don’t know how to deal with it especially since I’m married to him now. I feel like maybe I’m overreacting because of how long ago it was.

TIA
#confused #uneasy

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