I don’t know what to do with my 13 year old sister?

For a couple years now she has been lying , running away , fighting in school and stealing . Lying about things I already have proof of , stealing my grandpas phone talking to someone she doesn’t even know who is way older than she is .. giving my dads address of where she lives without knowing who this person is .. made a Instagram and Snapchat without us knowing .. doing drugs when we had no idea (at school) stole money from our dad and stole my grandpas debit card .. mind you this person she is talking to wants her to buy him stuff and wants my grandpas card info .. and this girl has the audacity to give him my grandpas PIN number to his card … writes notes to her friends at school that she wants to run away to Austin (where this unknown person lives &’ just found out today by going through her Snapchat) I’ve talked to her so many times .. my dad has .. his girlfriend.. my sister .. my brother .. she doesn’t care what we have to say .. she literally said she wants to do WHAT SHE WANTS .. she hits my dads girlfriend.. she got in a fight and my dad got upset with her and spanked her and she got CPS on him for the second time .. my dad can’t even yell at her without her crying to CPS … we don’t know what to do with her anymore.. ANY IDEAS ?

Ps sorry this is all over the place it’s been a crazy ride with her


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum.

Let her go to CPS she will soon change her way when she realises tht only place she will go is foster care system from home to home with strangers tht will b more onto her with rules then she had at home n reget will kick in


Why does she know Grandpas pin?


Tough love. Have her arrested for assault (girlfriend) theft (Grandpa’s card, if you have proof of usage; drugs if you have proof, find her stash. I know it sounds harsh, you don’t want her in trouble. you just want to help her change her ways. A loud wake-up call is needed. She doesn’t need to get it from the so-called male friend or a bad batch of drugs. You could also try family counseling-a place to start if she will go. Best of luck to all involved. Been in similar situation-hindsight is wonderful! Could have-should have.


She needs to be locked up


Truly, she needs juvenile detention to get her attention. You need to report this older man for his actions. He’s grooming her to runaway. Then she needs a good therapist and maybe meds. She sounds like she may be diagnosed as oppositional defiance disorder. Good luck. The sooner you start the less chance she’ll get hurt.


Group Home. Let her go with CPS and Foster System and she’ll learn quick. Military Boot Camp for Kids. Juvenile Detention if you can come up with proof and have it on her behavior. Mandatory Counseling. Tough Love is what she needs.

She wants to be a fckn big talker let CPS take her


Go to the police shes being groomed online. Take her phone. Change her school. Change all banking details


What do you suppose has caused this behaviour? Where’s Mum?


Let CPS take her they work put up with her bs and she cant be talking to Austin she’ll learn.

He can start by not being afraid of CPS showing up. Once they come in and realize she is not abused but a problem child they have programs to help y’all with her. If she does a crime she will go Infront of a juvenile judge and can be sent away for help. Counseling may help.


Ima follow this one I been dealing with alllllll this and then some

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First off did CPS not question you or the rest of the family? Tell your story! Let them decide what her future is. Sounds like she needs to be institutionalized before things escalate further. I know you all love her but love can’t save some people and she needs consequences for her actions!


Put her in a behavioral home for awhile where she has strict rules to go by and report the guy that she’s talking to…


Go sit with her at school and babysit at all times! She won’t like it but she will have to get over it.

The person who has custody of her needs to go to the police and talk to an officer for juveniles and lay all of this out. As far as the guy she’s talking to in Austin you can report cyber crimes to the NCMEC (National Center for Missing & Exploited Children) either by phone or online. If you can access her Instagram screenshot the person’s user name and relevant information (online tip line let’s you upload images that they can use as evidence). Another option would be to contact someone like Dr Phil or the Steve Wilkos show. But I would definitely send all the cyber crime evidence to NCMEC. That predator probably has a couple of kids he’s grooming and needs to be taken down.


Report everything to the police. I say this because you have an adult using and abusing a 13-year-old minor Lord only knows what they’ve sent to each other which oh by the way, Snapchat actually legally has to hold everything on their hard drives even though if they say it’s a snap once it’s sent it’s disappears it’s gone, that’s utter bullshit this is somebody who knows about computers and what they’re legally obligated to do. Because of the fact of what happens they legally have to have that information. So if he’s doing it through snap along with her, there’s are in right there also you can get access to everything especially if it’s through a court order through child protective services not they will actually open up those accounts and provide the information to you. So that being said go to the police. Have formal charges pressed against her and the guy and that way there it’s all taken care of. Make them answer to any court she wants to be an adult she wants to run away and make her grow up. Charge her with that that’s what you can do because if she stole all of this stuff and you have proof of it take it to the police. Let her learn the hard way. It’s the only way she’s going to get a rude awakening along with a guy that’s abusing her.

Let her go to lock in there r things for girls her age that do not listen it is call booth camp cal policeon her

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We first, you need to change all banking info, take anything away that belongs to her. Go to the police about her being groomed. And personally, if you don’t want to do boot camp, or military school.

Hire someone to take her from her house! It used to be a TV show. I can’t remember the name of it. Someone would be talking to her, ask to pick her up from her home, and steal her. Tie her up. Throw her in a vehicle/van. Go down the street, and parents/people she loved, would open the back of the van, while she’s in tears crying. :woman_shrugging:t2: That’s what I would do, if boot camp, juvenile detention, and military school were something you can’t do. Call me crazy, but it might work.


Send her to CPS
Maybe a bit of life hard reality
Instead of talking she’s not listening & doesn’t care
So she clearly wants to learn hard way
She’ll learn from consequences
Do it with love


Set her up in a fake kidnapping situation. That will change her mind. I guarantee you if someone out of the blue that she doesn’t know sends her photos of herself or her address or “tries to kidnap” her she’s going to change her tune real fast.

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Beyond scared straight its a tv show

Ok all of this screams she was abused and your targeting the wrong things she needs help not a spanking ffs


Call the police they will take Her to juvi. I ended up there at 13 when I was acting a fool towards my mom. Haven’t been back since and never will :sparkling_heart: definitely worth a shot and she can definitely see how much it sucks and if she keeps going the big house is next

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I would have her evaluated and possibly committed. She clearly is crying out for help. Something is genuinely wrong for this extreme behavior to be going on. It could be she has been abused, or possibly is struggling undiagnosed for mental issues.


Call the police. First call the non emergency line and ask for the juvi police officer.
Also, you can call cps and they should be giving you ways to help her. The courts can set up rules, like probation for her.
See if your state has the CHINS act. Child in need of services

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You take that girl and make her feel safe. All of that will stop. Get her in therapy. That kind of behavior usually comes from abuse and/or neglect. Sexually active at that age…I’d say it’s a safe bet she’s been sexually abused. Hearing the way she acts with stepmom… That sounds like jealousy. She’s gotten CPS involved twice… She’s trying to tell SOMEONE something.

I have so many questions about this. First where is mum? If mom is not in her life she may feel abandoned and detached from a very important person in her life… this could pertain to trauma and shame of not feeling good enough… Did something happen in her childhood that caused trauma? Look beneath the behaviors. Seek out a therapist/counselor for her. I work at a facility that helps with developmental trauma (trauma that typically happens between the ago on in-utero til 7) even if it’s something adults feel is insignificant it could cause trauma to a child’s brain. Seek out counseling either way, they might be able to get to the bottom of why she thinks what she is doing is ok.


How about getting to the underlying cause of all this? Where is her mother? Let’s start there. What kind of emotional problems does she have? and why.

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Honestly call CPS and the cops for help. Instead of letting her use them against you.

They already have a file, if you call for help and tell them what shes doing you need help helping her through what ever she’s going through.

There’s alot to unpack here. But getting on getting this guy taken care of is definitely important too.

Boot camp and military is just further trauma. And sends a message of you don’t care enough to help her you’d rather just send her away and not deal with her. You risk loosing her forever when she’s of age.


I’m shocked at the amount of people saying to just call the law on her etc. THERAPY baby. She needs therapy, she prolly has something undiagnosed. Believe it or not adhd and other disorders go hand in hand and cause lack of impulse control, attention seeking behaviors etc therapy and maybe even a proper med regime will help her dramatically. Call the law on the predator but be sure to explain to her she’s not the one who’s wrong she was persuaded by an adult to do those things and she’s still a child. More understanding and open communication will eventually gain trust with her to open up with therapy and the adults that she has in her life that want good for her.


The next time dad spanks her hand her the phone tell her call. The system is not a good place to be they won’t treat u well kid. Bye. Might change her tune.


Oh man, that sounds worse than me when I was a teenager. I can say that you’ve done what I wish was done for me already. Honestly, fuck, I dont think anything will work. Just do what you can to block her from stealing money and stealing people’s stuff and that will work as a ripple effect.

Take her to a doctor or get police involved because of the guys she’s talking to

She needs intensive treatment and evaluation for possible trauma and abuse. She is crying out for help. Get it for her


She clearly needs help. If she isn’t already seeing professionals, she needs to asap.

Also, don’t let a child hold CPS over your head. Get her help, through CPS if you must.


I was almost like this not as bad. The next step if she continues is cps will take custody due to unsafe and uncontrollable behavior and will be put in group homes and/or juvi. If she tries to run then cps will have the cops looking for her. I was in cps custody of Maine and ran to New York they eventually found me and brought me back.

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I feel for you. Its a nightmare. I would try therapy but she sounds so oppositional she may not be open to it. Stick to your rules and boundaries with consequences. For example, if she hits anyone, call the police for assault so she knows that you’re not afraid of her and you’re not a doormat. Something will have to happen to make her want to change. Its a very difficult age. Call the county, maybe there’s youth programs in your area.


Get her help she’s crying out for help. Where is her mom

Parents can press charges for incorrigibility. That’s what my parents did when I was out of control around that age. They can do an ankle monitor but I know back then was like 90 a day.

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Hormone poisoning is the worst. However, she is in SERIOUS danger !!! An evaluation or counseling is now required. Good luck

Never too old old for a butt whooping. I’d start there. Ground her from Everything.

So she’s acting violently & your dad’s solution is to act out violent to her. :joy: Good job dad you are reinforcing her behavior. Probably the best thing for her is for her dad to give her to CPS custody. That way she will mental help she needs


I was basically the same way when I was younger. I was in and out of juvenile detention, cps was involved, I was in a juvenile delinquent school as well and all of that just made me worse. Made me suicidal. Therapy was the one thing that helped. Had a fucked up home life and just wanted some attention. Maybe she’s feeling like no one pays attention to her? Or there’s something going on in the home? Every time I ran away it was to get away from what was going on at home.

CPS is the only people that can help you.

In-house treatment center, because she’s using drugs Thats the first thing I would do. Send her somewhere far to get treatment. There she will have no phone or internet and daily therapy with professionals until a plan can be formed and she can be released. My family member the same age is doing this right now. It’s really made a difference, She just came home and so far so good. Let’s see if it sticks.


Why isn’t anyone calling police on the 13 yr old
She steals, assaults, running away etc
She needs consequences for her behavior
Meanwhile family need to find more info on her much older bf.
Coddling only creates a monster
Where’s the mother? It’s time to send her to her mothers home.
She’s ODD
I have a couple kids who are ODD and an ex who is encouraging that behavior as he jealous that I got remarried. Everything sounds familiar and it does break heart but they no longer accepted to come to my home for calling cps on falsehoods on us and ODD behavior for 5 yrs. it won’t stop until u do drastic changes! Counseling doesn’t help when they refuse to go and don’t speak when they are there.

Dont allow her to live with dad
If cps has to take over then let it be


Let CPS take her lil ass. BYE!!!

Wants to act like a dam adult … kick her ass out … let her learn the hard way!! …


Take her to juvenile court tell them your situation next time she runs away charge her


She needs a real butt kicking she’s going to pop off to the wrong person and get it!!! As sad and horrible as it sounds PRESS CHARGES!!! Shes not going to like doing the time even if it’s 30 days but she’ll think twice before acting out! She needs therapy too to find the main issue to her behavior

Counseling. Send her to Marshall Arts. They preach non violence

Easy peasy……

  1. Take away all forms of communication online and any app. So no cell phone or laptop or anything.

  2. Take the door off her room and the only thing she has in there is her mattress.

  3. Make her work. Have a chore list. When she isn’t in school she should be helping out around the house.

  4. Take her to someone that know or has been trafficked because they did what she did. Maybe they can get through to her.

Right now she is being incredibly self centered not caring about another soul. Make her earn anything she gets.


Press charges on her butt…she is stealing and committing credit card fraud…

Domestic family violence is a charge also!

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Cancel all credit card ck her in to child servicrs

I’d take her to the ER for av evaluation.

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Let her go to jail or foster care hell if a kid is gonna call cps might as well say well here’s her crap she wants to live with a girly beware she does all of this

take away cell phone and out her in counseling also thier is homes like st.annes and stuff that help teenage girls

if you or your dad can’t take care of her

Call. The. Cops. Seriously, she wants to act grown, treat her like she is grown. If an adult punched someone in the face, the cops would be called. If an adult stole money from someone, cops. If an adult stole someone’s debit card, cops. I’m not saying press charges on her or actually have her arrested, but more like a scared straight type thing. Call the police department, explain to them what’s going on and ask for help. I guarantee that the local police department would be more than glad to help now, because when she gets older, it’s not gonna be family, it’s gonna be strangers that she’s doing this stuff to and strangers aren’t gonna ask for advice on how to handle her situation, they’re gonna have her arrested.


Have her arrested next time she hits also press charges for theft give her real taste of reality


Honestly boot camp or have her in a scared straight problem. And worry case you could get a 72 hour physic hold on her for her safety to herself and others. I know it may not sound the best. But if your are taking her abuse then she does need a reality check from people who are train to handle it. I do pray it gets better I was that type of teen and my reality check was me having a child at 18 and get my life straight. Hope it gets better :pray:t2:

The US Army or Marines will straighten her out.

I’d make sure she has zero access to social media and also I’d see if this guy she’s talking to is older. She simply can’t be left around your grandparents, especially with her abusing them and taking their things. Did something happen to her when she was younger? Is therapy or anything like that ever been an option? She seems to be acting way out for it to ever be normal

Put her in a psych hospital as an in-patient so she can get help.

She is acting out, and until she addresses the underlying issue that is making her so angry that she’s abusing everyone around her, she cannot heal.

If she won’t go, or they won’t take her without her consent, go to the judge in family court, and get an ex-parte order that orders her to treatment, for the drugs and for the mental issues.

Good luck—you all have my deepest sympathy and I hope this resolves