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QUESTION:
"My partner works on the road, we just had a baby 4 months ago… I haven’t left the house alone or with him for this entire time… He just met his young neice late 20s for the first time in January. But the past 4 weekends hes had free time, he’s spent it taking her out. Now he wants her to go to work with him. When I told him it made me uncomfortable, especially since i used to gy to work with him, he just got upset and said I was crazy. So I told neice how it made me feel, she’s a really big sweetheart, and she said she understood. I was under the impression he’d already decided not to take her, but I mentioned how I told her and she understands and then he blew up on me again. Saying I’m a weirdo, crazy, nazi, trying to dictate his life… I’m very Christian based, and believe in forsaking all others for the sake of spouse and our relationship… apparently we do not see eye to eye… but he shut me out of our bedroom when my other daughters are sick, baby is crying… and I don’t understand why I am made to be so crazy when he’s treating me do harshly! I broke the door by hurling my hip into it… I wasn’t being aggressive as that sounds… but… now he told me he’s gone forever. I do regret busting in the door. And not giving him space. But, I’m so upset. He was insisting we get out of the house before this event took place, the last time he attempted taking me out, he brought me back after I brought up how I didn’t appreciate him spending every weekend he’s home out at the bars with his neice… there’s more I’m leaving out, but… idk if I’m wrong?? … im not trying to hinder their relationship, in fact, I believe family is great, and id love to spend time together… but, I don’t want our relationship hindered either. And, maybe I’m protecting him? I think she thinks it’ll be a fun good time, and its work… they’ll be sharing hotel rooms and going out for dinners… he just brought his son, but that didn’t bother me as much… id be thrilled if he brought another Christian man who needed extra income … I just don’t love the idea with him sharing a room, a vehicle, and life with any other female who is not me… he thinks I’m selfish. … I think I’ve sacrificed much, being at home with children all day… never leaving… I think He’s being inconsiderate. But, I don’t dare try to make him see that. please help. I’ve prayed so much… and keep opening my Bible. I just want what is good, right, and fair… but, I really don’t know if he’s going to come back. I think he hates me."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Sounds like you think he’ll be sleeping with his niece. If that’s the case, ewwww. Breaking a door with your hip, is exactly that. I would have issue with that too. That isn’t respecting his boundaries. But he’s not respecting yours about the niece. Y’all both need therapy, I think."
"Doesn’t sound like that girl is actually his niece. And if she is, it sounds like your husband has perverted intentions with her. The way hes acting is beyond weird. Why does he need to take her to do all that kind of stuff alone away from you? Why doesn’t he just invite her to your house to see the kids and you? Why is he trying to isolate himself with her? Your husband sounds like a damn weirdo"
"His behavior is totally inappropriate. And he is definitely minimizing your feelings. Marriage is supposed to be a two way street but he’s on a one way race going his way only. Consider counseling but please do not take his abuse. That is harmful to your children as well. Good luck"
"If you think your husband would sleep with his niece… the relationship is over move on"
"You’re jealous over his niece? Breaking things like doors, throwing things, other aggressive behaviors are domestic violence. And you’re setting a bad example for your kids who are home watching you. Seek counseling."
"If this is truly his biological niece, then it sounds like you have issues. You sound very insecure. If it is not his biological niece then you have every right to be unhappy about him spending time with a random woman, but if she is truly biologically related and they are hanging out, I don’t see an issue with it."
"Sounds like your both in a toxic relationship. I’m sure there is much more to the story. With that being said it also sounds like neither of you are happy. Some time apart may do you some good."
"Kinda odd he’s freaking out! Kinda odd she didn’t freak out when you confronted her. Kinda odd you broke the damn door down. Lol… I’m gathering that maybe he’s the type that would be inappropriate with a grown family member and you know this. In which case you need to RUN! Cuz that’s icky!"
"If you think your husband would sleep with his niece then just leave the relationship. You have no trust in him at all."
"Chances are she’s not really his niece & if she was she has not business going over there road with him to work. He knows he’s in the wrong & that’s why he is so short tempered.."
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