My child’s father and I split up a few months ago and things were very hard he wouldn’t work with me on anything only against me. He used to let me call my daughter every night to say goodnight or ask how her night was the days she was with him since I agreed to 50 50 custody with out court but than he stopped letting me call her etc. I have never refused any phone calls of his to her and still don’t he has recently got a girlfriend within the last month and decided that he’s too busy with “work” that he can’t do 50 50 anymore I’m fine with it because more time for me I just wish he wanted the same. Since he brought his girlfriend around my daughter last week and didn’t tell me until after she was around her even though we had an agreement to meet someone if they were going to be around our child this was last Thursday she met my daughter And has only been around her 2 times and last night I found out my daughter was going to sleep at this girls house where idk where it is or anything at all so he’s jumping into his hard what do you think I should do? I get I don’t have a say when she’s with dad but I’m not comfortable with my daughter sleeping at this girls house when she barely knows her she’s only 3 and what if she doesn’t feel comfortable to ask to go to the bathroom or something or since she has a big dog at home she plays with what if this girls dog doesn’t like that she can play with my dog comfortable and gets bit etc
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I don't feel comfortable with my kid being around my ex's new girl
Why do you guys keep repeating the same questions. 
verbatim
A court will tell you what he does with his parenting time is not your business. The child is not in danger… you don’t have a say.
Wasn’t this already asked
This is a definitely a repeat post
More often than not they post repeats.
Get a lawyer. Just do it, you have 15 more years of co parenting.
Good luck with that. Keep an open line of communication with her dad is the best you can do. And try to co parent in peace for the childs sake
This has ALREADY been posted 2 days ago
He can say the same about u. Don’t work that way
I would not be ok with it…look at how many kids are being abused and murdered by boyfriends and girlfriends…no thank you.
You can what if it away and drive yourself crazy. The court won’t care about your concern if her being around strangers unless there’s a history or issue of drugs, abuse and neglect. I would suggest you file for child support and go from there. You can either do the standard child support so at least it’s on paper what the rights are that each of you have or you can get modified orders and include things like nightly 5min phone calls or first right of refusal, which means she can’t be left anywhere without her dad or even you present for longer than 8 hour period, etc. Just remember whatever you include for itself, goes for him as well. The part about meeting significant others is always hard for the other parent because one parent is always more cautious and the other is way more relaxed. So if course it’s bothering you because he keeps going back on your agreements and who wants their kids to be starting at as strangers house and possibly even sharing a bed all together. (I’ve seen and heard that ha happen too) Just get everything on paper and filed with the courts. Just know he’s gonna be mad and fight with you the whole way. Life Coparenting won’t get easier for you if he always has the reigns and is the one deciding and dictating how things are going to go. After you have the basic rights and requirements finalized by the courts you can always make exceptions and agreements between yourselves, but at least if things get out of hand you can reset everything to the court mandate.
Get a court order and for everyone saying she can’t do anything she sure can. You can put in there no overnight guests unless they get married however if you do it for him you will be expected to follow it as well. Same with meeting someone put in the paper work they must be dating 3 months before introducing her (they may or may not allow that one but whats the worst the judge says is no) you can also make it so only you and your ex carry out punishments. But like I said anything you put in your paperwork that the judge signs off on you will be expected to follow to. His gf should have the respect of you being her mom to meet her if you want to.
Why is this posted again? It was a few days ago. She didn’t like the answers she got?
These mom worries are definitely normal! I have them all the time and I’m not new anymore lol but yes he’s breaking your guys routine ! You two have always had a set of rules and he’s the one who chooses not to follow, so ultimately you want to make it about her because she’s the only change. Honestly I would discuss these with your ex, one on one, and hope that it doesn’t go south! But ultimately since he’s with him, there’s not much more you can do. He’s not harming your daughter, exceeeppppt I would want to meet the new girlfriend too so at least you know who your daughter is around!
Get the courts involved.
Wasn’t this already posted
You can’t control who your kid is around during his time or where she’s sleeping. Nor can he control what you do.
Actually you do have a say on whether or not she sleeps at another woman’s house
Take it to court. I did because I don’t trust anyone with my kid. I got a stipulation put in place saying he has to have been in a serious relationship for at least 6 months and I have to meet her prior to my daughter being introduced to him.
When ur child is with the father u don’t have to know what is going on same goes for u
Ultimately, when she’s with your ex, you don’t get a say unless she’s in danger or being neglected while in his care. Otherwise just leave it alone as much as it bothers you.
Well too bad. You dont get to say what he does with his own child when shes with him. Get used to it. Until you get over the break up, because this is really about YOU, youre going to have an issue with everything he does and everyone hes with. Stop using your child.
#1 I’m pretty sure this exact post was posted the other day. You got plenty advice so idky you resubmitted.
#2 you don’t have a say in his parenting time without a court order, and unless she’s a threat a judge will laugh at you. It’s his girlfriend not some rando.
#3 reverse the roles. He doesn’t want the kid around your new boyfriend for basically no real reason, only anxiety fueled fears. How would you feel? You’d probably be pretty pissed and annoyed.
Work on your shit, go to court, stop asking the same thing over and over hoping for different results.
Unless you want to open the door for him being able to say who you can see and when he can sleep over at your house your gonna have to get over it.
My daughter’s dad is amazing his new wife I hate her but my daughter loves her and she treats my daughter like the queen she is as long as that woman respects my child I have no problem with her you can’t stop a child from seeing the dad because the dad moved on…
Chill tf out. You don’t have a say when she’s with dad, unless you gave proof for the courts that her being around the new gf is an unhealthy environment
Unless it’s in court order. It’s his time and you have no say.
In my opinion as long as she’s good to your child there shouldn’t be a problem
A lot of people in this post are just mentally lacking… If you don’t care what goes on with your child when they aren’t in your care, then you probably shouldn’t be a parent… As the child’s parent, she has a right to know what is going on with her child while she is with her father, ESPECIALLY since they already had an agreement made, this man is just doing things to upset her and create coparenring conflict. If she were to bring a random man around her child and not tell the father, I bet a lot of you would see that as a problem… She is partially responsible for whatever happens to her child even if the child isn’t in her care for a few days. She as a parent has a right to be concerned about her child and should know her whereabouts at all times, and anyone thinking she doesn’t deserve to know where her 3 year old is, you have mental problems.
Take him to court to create a legal agreement because clearly he won’t stick to his word when it comes to you and him
I would talk to them both. Invite her over. Get to know this woman who will be in your daughter’s life. Speak to your lawyer and make it clear that you will need to know her address. If you still don’t feel right about it, you might want to speak with a therapist and figure out why it bothers you so much.
It’s recommended that a child not meet a parents partner until 3 months of consistent dating, then 6 months of consistent dating to allow the child to spend over nights while they are around.
You have to trust he knows what’s best also. I don’t understand some parents in that aspect. If you don’t why did you have a kid with them?
Call the courts. Alot of that is out of your control. But…I do believe you have the right to know where she is sleeping or gonna be at tho…or something along those lines. But most of it is just something we coparents get to “just deal with”. Hugs…it is hard.
Unless she is a danger to your child, you have no reason to not like her.
Go to court and get a parenting plan in place. Your daughter can go to his house and he doesnt have to give her back to you. Thats why you need to go to court and get a parenting plan in place. You cant control who he has around the child just like he cant with you.
Try to get along with the new woman, because you want your child to be treated right.
Take it to court, its not fair you have no idea who lives in the gfs house that can harm your child. I’m sorry but to many things happen in the world to kids that as a mom we have to protect our children. I dont care what anyone says my child is my main concern and if the safety of my child interferes with coparenting then my priority will be my child, fight me. I will not let my child go around people I dont know and risking to get molested or harmed , hell no. Like I said fight me ,my child will always be number one.
Is dad a responsable parent? Does he tend 2 his child’s needs when he has her? If so then accept that there will b other women in ur daughters life. If he isn’t a responsable parent then get an attorney n set up a hearing 2 revise ur agreement.
If you originally agreed to 50/50 custody then you clearly trust his ability to take care of your daughter. You both have a right to move on with your life. It’s definitely a tough situation.
This is what’s hard about splitting up
Look at it this way… he didn’t have to tell you she was going sleep at the gf’s. The child is only 3. He could’ve introduced their child to “a friend’ but he did the right thing by you and your child. If he is a good man and father and if he’s responsible then trust his judgment… that he wouldn’t put her in a bad place with a woman he’s not invested in
Wasn’t this posted the other day??
I’d ask the court to send you both into mediation so you can fine tune your agreement. You can have it legally that you are to be able to speak to your child on his time. You can also have it a legal agreement that you meet these women before your daughter does. You can make your court order just how you’d like it. Then at least you have it all in writing and there will be consequences for not following the order. At one point, you’ll have to accept that there will be another woman in your daughters life just as her father will have to accept a new man.
Go to court. Get a court order parenting plan. I’ll never understand why people don’t do this. You can literally out line who can and cannot be around your kid. Etc…
First it is NOT okay that he won’t let you talk to your daughter nightly. Once a night is acceptable. The county will agree. Next it is way too soon and early for over night stays. The court will agree to that too. Just take him to court.
IMO the problem isn’t with the girlfriend the problem is that you can’t have your ex and don’t want anyone else to have him. He’s not going to let anything happen to his daughter, your just feeling scorned. Live your life and let him live his. Don’t create problems were none exist.
There is nothing you can do, especially without some sort court order/legal agreement.
My children did not meet my now husband for almost 6 months. I was a single mom for 3 years before I met my husband. I’ve been married to my husband now almost 20 years. Maybe you should bring up the fact that you want to meet her before you allow y’all’s daughter to spend the night. Just let him know you are not comfortable allowing y’all’s 3 year old stay somewhere or with someone that you don’t know. Explain you would expect him to do same when time comes.
Lots of speculation…but what do you actually know that concerns you?
The fact he’s not letting you call needs to be brought up or he is no longer allowed to call when you have your child, simple as that, you also have a right to know where your child is!
#1 you can’t control what he does on his time #2 this is why court orders need to be done ! With them there are guidelines without he and you can do what you want
Unless the girl is harmful to your child, there is no court that will stop your kid from being around her. When the child is with their other parent the other parent doesn’t have to let you call every night as it is their time with their child. You just have to put your big girl pants on and get over it.
You’re just jealous, lol. You need to trust her Dad enough to know what he’s doing. Communication with his girlfriend would be good for you.
It’s really not YOUR choice who her father brings his child to visit when he has visitation with her. I suggest you let him do his thing. Get a hobby girl.
You can always use a mediator instead of a lawyer. They’re usually cheaper but make sure they have court privileges and their documents are legally binding.
Contact women’s centers for lower-cost lawyers.
You could even write up your own contract with each other for signatures and have it notarized. But check if this would be legally binding as well.
I think these are minimal problems. If he’s a good dad then respect his choices yo keep her safe.if she isn’t safe that’s a different story. If he was staying at his friends with a big dog would u say anything? Your reading to far into the girlfriend part…
He is the father and unfortunately when she is with him, he gets to make the choice of where she will sleep, it sucks but nothing you can do unless you feel your daughter is being abused.
I swear this exact one was up a few days ago too 
I wouldn’t be comfortable either! Go to court!
Stop trying to control everything… pray that she is okay u til you have proof…breathe and move on
It is not up to you! What happens on his time is his!! Currently fighting my husband’s ex because she didn’t like the fact he moved on. Took them, ran, moved, blocked, changed number, hid!!! Even though she already moved on long before he did!! Jealously and controlling is a horrible for a child to deal with!
I do not blame you for worrying. I hope your husband is a good man and makes a good choice in women. Does the woman have any other children or family that stays wiht her in her home? Any teen boys, a brother? How well does he know her. Is she a long term resident of the area and her home? You have to be very careful now a days. So much stealing children/trafficking, porn pics made. I am sorry to say all that, but I have been watching a case and it has got me to thinking outside the box and not trusting of others. Really a 3 year old needs to be wiht their parent at night, not a gf or bf. The lady can bond with the child while she is with her dad.