I have two kids who I love with my entire being. I would do anything for them as my children BUT I don’t like them as people. I talk to them and support them and try to raise them to be good open-minded and respectful children. For the most part, I enjoy being around my own kiddos - they give me space and come to me when they need me. However, I have learned a strange unsettling truth about myself over the years. I can’t stand children and I am fully aware it’s not their fault.
I was a nursery teacher before I had my own kids and there was always one kid I wanted to stay away from me at all times because she was just awful. Her attitude was that of a 40yr old person who had all their stuff together and looked down on EVERYONE and I couldn’t stand that kid. Both my kids are young teens and one of my kids just drives me crazy because just like a teen they think they know better despite all the proof proving otherwise and I realized that I love my kid but can’t stand their personality.
Am I an awful mum? I tell my kids every day that I love them. I hug them and help them. I do all the things i am supposed to do as a parent. However, if i was to meet them and they weren’t mine i would have nothing to do with at least one of them. Their personality can be so ‘superior’ even when proven wrong that i feel like they are slowly poisoning me. That child is ASD so empathy is just a word written in a book not something they understand. Life is hard with this child and highly emotional and unsettling. I find i am more of a thinker and prefer books and silence to people and talking.
Like i said before i love my children and my hubs finds it hilarious that i figured out i hate kids now when he pointed out i can’t watch tv with teens and kids because i end up yelling about how stupid they are and he laughs his ass off at me. Please tell me I’m not alone. Please tell me i am not the only one who just doesn’t get their kid(s) but wouldn’t be friends with people like them if they had the choice.