I have a situation. I’m faced with the dilemma of having to leave my 16-month-old, possibly, with a babysitter for the first time. I am a SAHM, and my son is used to me being with him 24/7. My mother has been battling cancer for five years, and she has been in the hospital for the better part of 4 months. She lives several hours away from me. I don’t feel it is appropriate, or even possible, to bring my son with me to go to her, as a 16-month-old isn’t gonna be able to spend all day, for many days, in a hospital room and that is my sole purpose for going. I can not even fathom not making a trip to my mother for possibly the last time, but I also can not bear the thought of being away from my baby for an extended period of time, knowing that there is a real probability that, at some point, my hubs will have to procure a sitter. I am concerned that this situation would affect my son negatively. I know the person who would be the sitter, and I definitely trust her with the well being of my son (she is a close friend’s mother), that isn’t the issue. I’m just afraid that my son will not take kindly to being under someone’s care, other than hubs and myself.
If you have the time before you go , leave your son in the care of this lady for a couple of hours each day for him to get used to her . Even if you stay for a while the first time .
This sort if situation is why i advocate having young children get used to being in the care of others .
You will probably fret more than Bub .
Leave him with a shirt of yours that you have worn , but not washed
He will be fine… leave him with a sitter for a few hours… if you dont go and see your momma while she is still with you you will regret not going. Kids will be ok without having their moms there 24/7 sometimes moms need a break for a few hours for your mental health your baby will be ok there is all kinds of ways to stay connected viedo chat, facetime etc… it takes a village to raise a child… honey find that village you are a good momma.
Here is my thoughts on this. You’re going to have to “compartmentalize”. Your baby might not like it (or he might surprise you), but you will also have someone caring for him that can handle that. Your son won’t be hurt, malnourished, or injured in any way by this. While you’re focusing with your mom, and it sounds like you want to and should, you’ll have to let that part go. Hopefully he surprises you; most babies do. But in the off-chance that he’s unhappy with you being gone for the entire time, he will he okay. You will choose well for him. And you will come back knowing in your heart that you were where you needed to be.
I asked someone to watch my son once and started to warn her and worry about crying, etc. Her response was that she had five babies and there wasn’t much she couldn’t handle. And she was right. His crying gave her the opportunity to hold and comfort him. You will be okay. He will be okay. Hugs
You need to get your son used to being with other people!! God forbid something happens to you and your husband your child would be screwed!!
Go be with your mom, if not you will regret it. I left my kids for a few days to be with my mom as she passed. I’d never change that, and it’s been a few weeks and my 5 kiddos are completely over the fact that I was gone eventhough it was so tough on all of us while i was gone.
Try it for an hour a day before you go. Have her around him so he knows her and leave to get groceries or to make other arrangements. It’ll be better for him to get to know her more and for your piece of mind when the time comes for you to leave him.
Your son will be fine…its you. At 16mths he shouldve had a sitter by now. Stop over coddling…it hurts them in the long run.
Maybe have a couple practice rounds before you go to get him used to it while your still close by
Is it possible for the babysitter go with you & stay where you’re staying while away so the child is closer to you & him see you on & off??
If not I agree with Anise Marie’s suggestion.
It will be good for your child. You will have to learn thisbat one point. Doing it while they are young gets them in the habit of trusting others. Like going to family members or to school or friends. Time apart is healthy and helps both sides in having time to there self.
Invite her over and have your child play with her a few times.
You said yourself you trust her that is 99% of the battle. It’ll be ok!! You really need that time with your mother it sounds like. Sending positive vibes💕
A temporary situation. Trust your hubby and go.
You said it yourself the sitter is trusted so the issues here are with you not being able to let go and let your son learn it’s ok to be with other people. Since he hasn’t you dont really know how it will go. So all fear that your building in yourself and not fair to yourself to do so. You hubby will be close by right? So everything is all good try not to stress and be amazing for your mom in her time of need.
It’ll be harder on u than him. Kids that young get over it pretty quickly
Your son won’t like? My son doesn’t like bed time, or picking up his mess, or being told no. He gets over it. All kids have seperation anxiety at some point, but you still have to do what you have to do.
Your son will do just fine. Your mother is most important now. Children are very adaptable. No long term effects you will suffer more than he will
It may take a minute for your child to adjust but they are resilient and will do fine! I’m sorry you’re going through all of this period
Okay tbh youre baby will most likely cry…alot. He needs to get used to his new babysitter. Dont worry after a few days your baby will adore his new sitter
It might be hard at first but it will be good for your kiddo as well! I bet they’ll be the best of friends when you get back and he’ll still be so happy to see you! Plus you can still video chat and get pictures and calls which will always help you both too.
He will be fine. Kids like familiarity, so it would be best for this person to babysit in your home. So your child doesn’t have to adjust to new surroundings and new people. Also if possible spend a little time with the child and the sitter to get him comfortable. Overall go see your mom! I’m sorry you are going through this hard time but if you have trust in your husband and potential babysitter then baby will be fine.
Maybe the hospital has special arrangements for family members of cancer patients with children
Tbh you’re gonna be the one who will have a harder time with your son being under someone else’s care…he’ll adjust sooner than you will…not trying to be mean at all…please go be with your mom…your son will be fine…don’t let "mom guilt"get in the way 
Hes gonna have to separate from you sometime.
Kids usually do relatively well. I worked in a daycare for 3 and a half years. We had all kinds of kids, ones who had a harder time adjusting, ones who had no difficulty at all. They all get used to it and stay happy, healthy, thriving babies. We provide extra comfort to the ones who have a harder time. Sitters often have an easier time because they usually go to the child’s home.
It will be hard at first. He will cry,but after getting used to the babysitter he will adjust fine. I know it’s hard leaving your little one with someone for the first time. It’s hard on you an the child. It will all work out in the long run. You can always call every 30 minutes or hour if you have to. Nothing wrong with worrying or stressing. Hope all works out in the end. Good luck.
Toddlers have no concept of time that young. And they adjust.
Last moments with your mom. You will never get back. I lost my mom almost 6 months ago suddenly and still cry everyday. Go see your mom and spend the time with her and say goodbye. That time u will never ever get back.
Is there any chance someone could go with you ? Maybe just keep him while your at the hospital so you could be with him at night to ease him into staying with someone else. Also as a soon to be gram if it were me I’d like to see my grandson too . If that’s not an option then at first it may be a bit hard …probably harder for you then him . He will adjust fine …as long as you know thos woman and trust her …so sorry you’re going through all of this . 
Where will you be spending your nights when you go visit your mom? Would your son be able to stay there (with a babysitter, during the day)?
Take him over with you to “hang” out a time or 2. He may fall head over heels in love with her and then you won’t have anything to worry about. It will be hard, and what you are going through is extremely hard. But at least with the baby, you can make it easier for him. Also leave a shirt or 2 that you’ve worn. It can help comfort him.
Personally I would take my child with me.
You won’t know unless you try and trust me babies will adjust it may be new and different but it’s only going to be for a few hours it’s not like the child has two now live with her. Trust me my sister leaves her kids with me all the time one has really bad separation anxiety and when she leaves he cries to maybe a minute or two and then he’s done and he goes on playing with the others and playing with his trains and trucks. As long as they have a motherly instinct in nature the baby is Young it will adapt and if anything goes wrong your husband she can call him to come get the baby
Your child may cry initially but it will be good for her in the long run to not be with you or your hubby, it will help with anxiety separation as she grows older cause she will learn you will always come back, so sorry about your mum but I think just now she needs to be your priority, even if little one isn’t happy they will not remember it as for your mum there won’t be another chance and you will punish yourself mostly likely if you don’t go
We’re taking a trip this weekend and my 8 month old will be spending one night with his grandparents and be away from mommy and daddy for a night for the first time ever and I am so nervous I can’t sleep so I definitely get where you are coming from
Hope it goes well! For both of us!
We struggle through things we don’t like all the time. It’s human, he’s human. And he’ll learn to trust you to return.
Take him with you. Your mom just might like it .
You need to do for your mother
Hell be upset n cry at first but hell get over it. Bery quick. Ud b surprised how fast they get over things
I was like that with my son. He spent the first 14 months at home. Now he has been at daycare for a year now and loves it. It took time for him to adjust. Daycare has really improved his speach and social skills.
In this instance… your mom needs you more. And that’s ok.
But you could always see if the sitter is willing to travel and get an air bnb so they have a house to hang out during the day and you could see your babe at night
Hugs to you 
If you can, set up some time now for your son and the babysitter to meet and spend some time together now while you are able to be involved. This will help your son to get to know her and it will give the two of you some time to talk. I don think it is best leave him with your husband, taking him on your trip is going to be added stress that you don’t need right now.
My son is 2, I am a full time SAHM since he was born. I use to stress this so much. But it’s good for them. They need to learn how to be with other people. My son does AMAZING with people, he’s honestly more of a issue when it’s me and him LOL. Time to let EVERYTHING you do as a momma, come full circle. Most times, it’s the parents who have the hard time, not the kiddos. You trust this person. Your mother needs you. Go. Your son will be perfectly fine. First time is always the hardest.
Start having the person who will be watching him over to visit as often as her schedule allows so that your son will get used to her. Your son will be fine and will forget it ever happened by the time he’s 3.
Thank you all for your kind words and advice! Taking him with me is not an option. In addition to the ever-spreading cancer, she has now developed c diff as a result of antibiotic overload for the last 3+ months. There is no one over there who could watch him while I spend the days in the hospital or hospice (should she get transferred to hospice before I make it there). In my head, I know he’ll be fine. In my heart, I’m shattered that I have to leave him and that my mom won’t get to see him again. The sitter is well known to my family and myself, but having never been left with her by himself, the concern is that he won’t take to her. She is the grandmother of my niece and nephew, so I definitely trust her with him. I just want a smooth transition, so I can focus on my mom. I’m definitely planning video calls with my son and my mom! She loves him so!! Again, thank you all for your empathy and compassion.
It takes a village. Your son will grow mentally and developmentally. Go care for your mom.
He will be fine! Cut the umbilical cord already geez
He will be fine. It will be harder in you. I was a sahm with all my kids until preschool and they adjusted just fine. Go be with your mom. You can call And talk to your son or even face time. A sitter now will make it easier when preschool comes around also
When my mother was dying of cancer I took my ten month old to the hospital for hours at a time. My mom loved seeing her and she was happy with a few toys and cartoons on my phone. The nurse brought extra pillows and blankets in for me to set up a little play area in the room.
Just be sure to leave a couple shirts you have worn with your scent on it as a security blanket being away will help you both
Have the person that will be the sitter come over afew times and play with the child while you’re there. Then when you have to leave to go spend time with your mom make sure it’s a quick good bye and you will be back soon and so & so is going to stay & keep you safe while mommy’s gone. If it’s gonna be more than a day visit to your mom sometimes texting silly pics helps or if your kid can make a quick call just to hear mommy’s voice maybe before bed you could read a story to him.
Find a babysitter and take her with you and your son. I use to go on trips with single moms, they can do stuff when they need to and not leave their child.
No take him with she needs to see him too as he her he might not remember her but at least they will see each other for the last time. My Nephew was 3 when my grandpa passed away we took him in their bedroom to see him one last time. It didn’t scare him but made my grandpa alert for one last time to say I love you bobble boy.
I’m a 73 year old male. My family is the most important in life. Take the child with you. Unless you really know the sitter real well. There is to many children gone missing and hurt. And I know you could not handle that. Now days you do not know who you can trust. Your mother’s would to spend time with the ,2 of you
While my mom was in a facility battling breast cancer I took my daughter with me. I just bought a cheap playpen for when we were there. My daughter was even there on the day my mom passed