Ok so iv been married to my husband for a year and a half we are a blended family I have six kids from my previous relationship, and he has one. from the moment that he and started dating she had this warped since of reality that he was just going to up and leave when their son was born( she was five months pregnant when we started dating) and sine that didnt happen she kept him from his little boy for 11 months now we are very much involved in his life my husband pays child support, and we supply everything he needs while hes with us (clothes diapers wipes soap sippy cups ect) at forst she said that I communicate with her better then my husband does so she was texting me and then she picked him up a day earlyier then our time was supposed to end for halloween even tho we were taking my kids trick or treating and I questioned why and now she only texts him, and honestly I like it that way I havnt liked this girl since middle school and still dont like her bht my husband gets so upset when I tell him that I would much rather wait for pick up/drop off whem hes home because I just dont want to deal with her and thats not me saying that im not just as involved with him when hes with us a,s his dad is bscause I am I just dont like his mom
You’re acting like a child.
Welcome to a blended family…
So let me get this straight she was five months pregnant when he left her for you…You are a horrid person to have even got between them deal with it this is your life now you chose it
You need to grow up. And co parent you knew what you were getting into before you married him he comes with baggage and sounds like you come with ALOT as well. Suck it up
Everyone that’s grown needs to learn something. If you choose to have babies you are signing up to 18 years of communication with the person you laid down with to create that child. If you marry that person is signing up for all that as well. You don’t get to pick what shit you’ll deal with and what you will step over. You get it ALL.
Suck it up and deal with it. It isn’t about your feelings, but what is best for the child.
So what she thought was correct. He did leave her for you!
Am I reading this right?
I give props to her. Usually it’s the bm that’s bitter and doesnt want to deal with the new chick. She accepts you and brings and trust you around her very young child.
You should grow up…
You got with him when she was 5 months pregnant and NOW you’re wondering what to do!? You should have thought about that when you found out she was pregnant. Who does that. Grow tf up…
Girl ur gonna have to get over it. All of u guys need to grow tf up.
Put your negative feelings about her behind you and focus on the child and your family. It’s good that your partner can be amicable enough for the sake of their son. You knew what you was dealing with from day 1, nothing new, so just crack on with it.
U only have 2 deal with her 4 short child exchanges just b nice. U don’t have 2 move her 2 tolerate a few minutes 2 exchange a child. Always better 2 b on good terms than deal with the upset of fussing n fighting.
Wait she was 5 months pregnant when u married him. ??? Ok and u thought what??? Omg !
Bless your ratchet ass childish heart.
So he can co-parent with. your 6 kids but you can’t manage to successfully co-parent with his 1? Grow up!!
First of all anyone in here that doesnt deal with split families and their SO’s baby mama or daddy… Have NO room to tell anyone to grow up and stop acting like a child. My husband’s ex has tried to break in our house, has tried to fight me, has beat up on my husband and has said she was going to hit my daughter (she was 3 at the time) alllll of this in front of our kids. And they were never married or together! Maybe this lady isnt spilling all her tea on this post. But baby mama drama is real y’all. And i hate dealing with her and we rarely do. I dont blame her for wanting to wait for her husband. We get my in laws to get my step son so I dont have to deal with her.
The things we do for our children…
I dont understand everyone telling her to grow up.
It is his job and duty to his child to pick up/drop off and deal with his ex-wife, not hers.
A blended family means treating all children with respect and love, not become the go between to the parents.
God bless all that are able to have a great relationship with your spouses ex, bit reality is, it is usually not that way.
So many of you need to grow up.
Suck it up sounds like it was a minor issue. Try to get along and tolerate each other as much as you can. Its for the kids good
Wow so petty of you! For her to even communicate with you in the first place I think is a major step! Instead of focusing on your husband and his ex and there child… Maybe let them work things out themselves and you focus on your 6kids 💁
Try acting like an adult and putting children before yourselves that usually does the trick.
Girl Grow the fuck up
If your husband isn’t available during the exchange times maybe there’s someone else that could temporarily sit in with you. Having another person there or exchange the child in place of you helps to avoid conflict. Maybe an inconvenience, but it could be less drama.
You have 6 kids? You sound 11. Grow up
You got with this guy knowing he had a baby on the way. Now you are bitter because you don’t like her. . . that poor child. Time to grow up. You aren’t a child any longer. Focus on that baby and that baby ONLY. If you all can’t do that then maybe you shouldn’t have kids.
How do you have six kids and still acting this childish
Absolutely nothing in this post suggests that your husband’s ex is causing the issues. Okay so she picked up their child a day earlier but you give no inclination as to why and if there’s visitation setup it should clearly State days and hours of visitation. Seriously you need to grow up and deal with it this is life. The fact that you don’t want to communicate with her is so childish. It’s not like she’s harassing you or making threats or anything illegal. If you can’t put your own emotions aside for the child they have together I feel sorry for your husband and the child because if he’s smart in the end you will lose because it’s about the child not you
Wait wait wait wait a minute so he can co parent with your 6 KIDS, but you can’t handle his ONE child? Oh sweet baby Jesus.
You’ve gotta meet in the middle. Be happy it’s not drama and only step in if you have to. I will step in for my husband with his ex’s if I see he’s having issues communicating correctly and I sense tension. It works out REALLY well. I’m not too fond of one, but I keep it civil for the sake of the child they have and so my kids can know their big brother. Just be the bigger person and do pick ups if you have to.
She thought he was going to leave and that’s a warped sense of reality. In reality you all started dating when the kid was 5 months old. Can’t imagine why she don’t like the guy. Go to court. Get an order. That way no one can change their mind or the time of pick up and drop off. She probably hates him and isn’t in love with you and your kids either. If you all can agree to a custody agreement and go to the same attorney to just write it up and you all sign it.
It doesn’t matter if YOU like her or not. She is the childs mother and when you’re blended you have a part in that child’s life, and the CHILD should be main priority and not having to deal with a parent or step-parent acting like a child.
Why does this girl need to grow up bc the child’s mom stopped contacting HER?? if you don’t like her that’s perfectly fine just don’t make a bad parenting triangle for the child’s sake! Keep things civil & keep your personal feelings to yourself also it’ll make things easier
I would say that he needs to learn to communicate with her since that is his responsibility, but if you’re married, you should also be accompanying and supporting him through that part of his life. Show up as a solid unit. Unless she’s malicious, verbally or physically aggressive in some way towards you, I don’t see why you can’t put your differences aside and be there for your husband and step child.
Learn how to co-parent with your step kids biological parent or don’t be in a relationship with someone who has children.
You say you don’t like the mom but who cares you don’t need to be best friends with her to have a good co-parenting relationship.
I don’t have the best relationship with my stepsons mum playing games, her attitude towards me etc and It makes me so angry the crap she pulls on a weekly basis but I just put it behind me and just be nice and civil to her because the last thing I want is my stepson to pick up on my feelings towards his mum and make him feel uncomfortable etc in any way. Sometimes you just have to turn and bear it because it’s about the kids at the end of the day not the petty issues the adults are dealing with.
Maybe when you can grammer and spell like an adult, you can act like one. And yes I did go there. This is ridiculous. That child is already going through split homes, be better than this. I have a blended family and I make sure that the kids see nothing but love because that is what they deserve. They didn’t ask for this. Put a smile on your face and fake it til’ you make it. Be a team for the child. It’s not you against her, remember that.
All I’m gathering from this entire post is that you’re irresponsible (6 kids) and selfish. it’s not about how you feel about her. 6 kids later you should be grown up enough to let a middle school grudge go and do what’s best for an innocent child.
Suck it up and be the bigger person. She will be around forever.
You do what’s right for your kids. May not like her, and she may not like you. But you put that aside and you be positive for each other because when all is said and done those kids needs come before yours.
So yes you put your insecurities and jealousy and anger at past infractions and you try to be smiling and happy and do things for the kids.
I’ve been there. I wanted desperately to be the happy blended family with my ex’s gf. But was rebuked harshly and every invitation turned down.
Kids deserve better, they shouldn’t have to worry about them vs you or who to invite to what. Don’t be the one that causes that to happen. Trust me they will remember who tried and who didn’t.
Grow the fuck up love it’s not about your feelings or her’s it’s about this child’s so suck it up put on a smile for the 5 minutes of drop offs an pick ups an be done with it my god
Okay, as far as communicating with her, you are absolutely right to make him do that. All that is required of you to comparent is for you to love the child. You are not required to make decisions with her, that is your husband’s job.
This just screams Drama ! Why would you get with someone who left his woman 5 months pregnant?? Did you really think that life would just be rainbows:rainbow: and lollipops ???
That alone should have been a red
flag to not deal with this guy . Remember how you get them is how you lose them . How about being alone and investing your time and energy into you’re 6 kids.
Suck it up buttercup. Or find someone with no kids. If this was the other way around and he had issue with your 6 kids baby daddy I am sure you would be pissed as hell. Grow up or get out.
I hope you ain’t passing your feelings on to this child. Be a adult and learn to deal with it. I can understand if she’s abusing you ECT but just cause you don’t like her is being childish
Lol. Gurrrl. She was 5 months pregnant when you started dating, and now he has a new child that requires his attention and you are jealous and bitter! Get over it . He has a baby…y’all better get over it and let him handle his business.
I can’t even read this… Please use punctuation.
Good lord punctuate your sentences this is brutal to read
Honestly most of these women are bitter and dont have anything helpful to even contribute other than their shitty snobby attitudes. If she stopped communicating with you becsuse she didnt like you questioning her then I can understand why you are annoyed. But unfortunately you may have to suck it up and keep the line of communication open regardless of how irritating she can be to you. Remember the kids are what’s most important and try to swallow your pride a little and be the bigger person. That isn’t always easy but keeping the peace is a big job. Good luck!
Be the bigger person.
Ur the step mom. Learn to coparent with her
Middle school grudge still going on even though you’re supposed to be an adult. Let shit go and learn to coparent. That child will see and feel how you don’t like his mom and it will effect his feelings and such in the whole situation. Grow up and suck it up. You have 6 kids of your own, you should know how to coparent by now.
I have to agree with most I these comments. This is part of the responsibility you took on when you blended families. Don’t be an extra child your husband has to deal with.
I can’t even understand what’s going on . Lol
You married him, you married his child and Ex. Sorry
It’s like a 14 year old got married and had a baby. Just let him handle it. What is the question? Why not continue this way if you like it this way? What are you even asking?
When you take on a step kid, you take on all the baby mama drama that goes with it. You dont have to like her, or like communicating with her, but you need to suck it up anyway but makes life a whole lot easier.
Deal. With. It. You put yourself in that situation so don’t complain about the shit now.
I don’t think you should have to deal with her if your not comfortable… Its early days in your own relationship aswell… Its his responsibility to communicate with her…
Is this just a rant or is there a question to this unreadable post? How long are you even married? You took him in knowing that this girl was pregnant for him so what did you expect?
What is the question?
Your the step-mom now… time for you to step it up and be an adult… sounds like she is willing to… and im really shocked bc most biological mothers… dont want anything to do with the New step-mom. She and you will need to have talk about boundaries and picking up on the days and times she is suppose to. Just be open minded and realize… its better for the kids if all parties can be civil and co-parent!
She was the one that was up and left pregnant and she sounds like despite what he did she is trying to adult with you reasonably for the sake of her and your husbands child…???
I could be completely wrong because reading your post gave me a migraine and it was hard to understand. But if I read correctly it sounds like you are being petty and need to woman up, build a healthy relationship with the child’s mother because if you love him like you claim then why would you make life more difficult?? ughhh
I wouldn’t of gone near the man till his baby was born , after that if he still wanted to be with you then you know it’s really and 100% you wouldn’t be "bitter " talking to his ex . I’d want to know my kids dads new gf and make sure my kids where in good hands .
You need to grow up. If she doesn’t follow the guidelines to the t then take her back to court. Just be civil for the damn kid Jesus
You shouldn’t have started dating him if he was married with a baby on the way. Just my opinion. Be an adult, it is not about you, it is about those children.
I bet you guys use your children as pawns. Disgusting
You don’t have to communicate with her that’s his responsibility…just provide love and a loving environment for her child… she seems bitter that he married someone else & took on your 6 probably why she kept her child away for 11 months
Suck it up buttercup! You chose to marry a man you knew was having a baby. Your past, present or future feelings towards mom needs to stop. You need to grow up and start focusing on co-parenting all of the children.
I can’t figure out what you are saying here. She was 5 months pregnant when he left her for you? I think I like her better than you. So confusing. Sounds like she’s trying to make it work.
I understand your feelings and you’re allowed to have them. Unfortunately, exes, blended family’s, and kids are part of your equation so you have to deal w/ it. When there’s kids involved you have to deal w/ the ex, even if you don’t want to, even if they’re an awful person. It’s just part of the deal you get when you get involved w/ someone w/ kids. Adjusting to being a blended family and co-parenting can be difficult and not always enjoyable, but it’s just a part of life for some. Deal w/ her when it’s directly involving co-parenting or pertains to the child. Be civil and mature. That’s all you have to do. Don’t let it be a big deal
You married him and knew what you were getting into. Like her or not its not hard to have her drop child off, that takes a minute or two to do it.
Sounds like you’re still in middle school.
I didnt like my mans ex wife at first they have a child together and so do he and i, but i sucked it tf up because thats his sons mother and i love his son so… Now after almost 3 years, she and i are friends and have more in common than i ever thought. Were not best friends but we co-parent fine and get along great now. Give it a chance for his son. You knew what you were getting into. Its a package deal!
You’re a sack of shit for getting with a guy who had a baby on the way. Whether or not they were working out at the time. That’s just trashy. But you roll up with 6 brats and can’t handle co-parenting with his 1 child’s mother?
You were with a man who left his pregnant girlfriend. That’s wrong there. Secondly everyone should have open communication. Why cant you BE MATURE and hand the kid off to her? It literally takes seconds. Smh starting putting the kids first
If it has not been done yet, go to court and get a custody order. It should say the visitation time. Your husband needs to enforce the shared time in the order.
You don’t have to like her. Bit you do have to respect her and be civil. You’re so used to being the mother and calling the shots obviously. Take a backseat and stay there, your the step mother. Let him deal with things pertaining to his child.
This is so ridiculous! It is your job to coparent the best way that you know how. If that means that you have a good relationship with her then so be it. All you have to do is be polite and civil at drop off and pick up some whenever y’all are together. It’s really not that hard. This is all part of being a blended family.
I was with my ex for 10 years and he was always there when we did pick up and drop off of the kids. I never did this alone? I don’t know about this. Of course you have to deal with the child’s mother. But I don’t know that you have to do that alone. I don’t know that I would want someone else picking up my kids either. The father should do it
U sound petty as fuck!!! Bringing up high school??
You don’t have to communicate with her. You shouldn’t be taking his child. If he can’t take care of him he should be forfieting his visits. I’m sorry but think about it the other way. As women were told our lives end when we conceive, were expected to take care of our kids 24/7. If we have to work or want time without our kids we have to pay someone. But men don’t have that expectation. They get less time with their kids & still pawn them off with other women. Tell him he’s his child, not yours & needs to schedule visits so he can be a parent because you’re not this child’s parent.
Me and my daughters father coparent great by leaving everyone else out of it. Drama free and me and him agree on that cause before it was drama. We are the parents and we handle everything that pertains to her no one else
You started dating a man who was expecting with another woman. My guess is you feel super guilty. I try not to judge but in this situation all I will say is you don’t seem like a “girls girls” so I’m sure if there’s tension it’s related to you, and should be.
Honestly you two dont need to be best friends or hang out away from the children, but when they are in the picture - learn to get on!! It hurts the kids more then the adults when yous dont get along and are snarky to one another. You also shouldnt talk nasty about her infront of the dad or the kids, because it just causes a barrier. Grant on here or to your friends if anything.
Yeah we don’t speak AT ALL nothing good has ever come of it and even “good” interaction leaves me with a pit in my stomach. Husband really communicates minimally with her too though. (She’s 16 now so we have a lot more options to not talk) I always imagined the amazing co parenting situation I grew up with step parents in both homes and every got along great (I’m sure there were moments but I never saw or knew) every situation is different and some situations just DONT work but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be with your husband or that you love their biological child any less.
Ok idk what anyone else read because it seems that most are telling this woman to grow up and that she’s pretty and actually giving props to the BM. She started dating her husband and the pregnant ex tells her that he will leave her, the gf, when the baby is born. My guess is that BM thought the guy would come back to her after the baby was born. Then bm will only communicate with this lady instead of acting grown and communicating with the father, or with both. Then after this women asks why BM is cutting the fathers time off early BM stops wanting to talk to her and starts talking to the babies father. After this, this woman no longer wants to deal with BM and asks that her husband handle it from now on but will continue to be just as much a part of this babies life when he is at their home. Tell me how this women is in the wrong. Really the BM is playing g games. No where does it say the this man left the BM for this women, more than likely they weren’t together ever or they broke up befo,re these two even got together. I mean that’s me assuming but then again y’all are assuming that this man let BM pregnant for this women. I have dealt with a BM like this and I’ve seen a lot of BM like this. This women shouldn’t have to deal with the bm, it’s always nice when everyone can get along but sometimes it doesn’t work that way.
Grown people co-parent and communicate cohesively
Trust your gut and if she seems shady or sketchy I’d keep it separate too. It’s a manipulation thing she’s doing with the communication. Don’t play that game.
This is childish nonsense. Suck it up, time to grow up.
Your attitude towards her isn’t going to go unnoticed by your children… Don’t turn it into a toxic relationship.
I didnt like my step sons mom at the time either and she didnt like me (for damn good reasons too on both ends). But I stepped up, swallowed my pride and just dealt with it no matter how hard it got. Its for the kids. Not for you. This is completely childish and the child is going to see this growing up. YOU need to set the example for the kid. Be the bigger person here.
Baby is 11 months old, u gotta learn to coexist u got a long time to deal with her, make it as pleasant as possible. It’s hard to have what I thought ur life would be shattered. Not saying whatever happened was just fault it gets but just acknowledge that she is a human being with feelings. Treat her better than she treats u
I got a headache trying to read this
So you’re with a man who left his pregnant girlfriend but don’t know why he doesn’t take your side on this? Ummmm… Being a “man” obviously isn’t his thing. And you need to grow up!
that’s the mother of his child, whether she is a lunatic or not. When this baby grows up, he will notice how you treat his mom & I bet he won’t like that one bit !!! . So your choice, grin & smile & bare it for the baby’s sake or be a bitch …like you say she is ?? Who’s the bigger person ??
Grow up and get over it.
Let’s think about it this way, I’m guessing you’ve got kids with someone else? How would you feel if they’re daddy got a new girlfriend and didn’t want anything to do with you but WILL BE around your kids? I wouldn’t be good about it. I wouldn’t allow it if they can’t suck up their problems with me they don’t get time away from me with the child.
I think i had a stroke reading this…
I would try and ask her why she won’t communicate with you.
My kids ( 7 and 3 ) have a great step mom and I would much rather talk to her then him 98% of the time.
Shes not obligated to deal with her if she dont want to he is her only job is to treat the child like her own