Uh… most people have multiple sides of the family to see and don’t spend both Christmas eve and Christmas dinner together. I don’t see what the big deal is. All this drama sounds stupid.
You: We’re not gonna be able to make it to Christmas eve this year. But we’ll see you for christmas dinner.
Her: Oh no, why?
You: We just have too much going on and I need the extra time to wrap gifts and shit.
Her: Aww. I get it. No big deal. We’ll see you at Christmas dinner then.
That’s how normal people roll. But I guess you married into crazy. Shoulda vetted them first, girl.
Don’t be afraid to speak up. Doesn’t matter if it’s your husband’s mom, because if you are married and have children that is your family too now. Its not just “his” problem to deal with. If my SO’s parents had it their way we would spend xmas eve, xmas morning, xmas dinner, new years eve, and new years day with them because that is their tradition. Thing is, you have family too. And you have created your own now… speak up and make it clear that you matter, your baby matters, and your side of the family matters too. I made it clear from the beginning that we do half half on everything. It’s not selfish of you, please don’t listen to any of the people on here telling you to “grow up” or “stop being selfish”. You do you.
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Do what you wsnt. Your family comes first.
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I don’t see anywhere what her HUSBAND wants to do. Maybe after working that much every day to provide he wants to spend Christmas Eve with his family. I mean it’s his family she’s saying no to. I don’t even see her mention hers so maybe they aren’t even an option.
You’re not in school anymore unless you’re taking one class for the one month of semester break. So that shouldn’t factor in. You should always go and be with all the family. It’s about the kids, so You’re being selfish by keeping your 1&1/2 year old from her grandma, and extended family that probably only see her once or twice a year. Be grateful you have extended family and a mother in-law who cares. My mother in-law hates me for no reason, does not talk to my husband and does things to purposely make sure something holds him back from life, and none of my extended family associates. I would love to have a big family that would want my presence during the most family centered holiday of the year.
I don’t think it’s wrong of you at all. I feel that once you have your own family things change. When we had our first baby, I didn’t mind continuing to do the whole family thing with my in-laws but now that we’re having our second child I really want to start our own tradition as a family. I really don’t care if my in-laws like it our not. Now we have our own little family, we should be able to have our own tradition and so should you. As long as you and your husband are on the same page who cares what they think or say.
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I don’t mess with my son’s bedtime either, he is the same age. Some kids (like him) do not function well if you miss bedtime. He wakes up a lot during the night and gets up early and has a terrible day the next day. At this age missing out on family stuff that is too late is fine to me. If the family wants to spend time with you and the child then make it earlier in the afternoon 🤷. My kid comes first
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your a mom you have every right to have your own family traditions… they will have christmas day you do christmas eve… for us we do christmas eve with family and christmas day at home…
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Going behind your back? Because she talked to family members about Christmas plans?? Why announce your demand for an acceptable time?? Why talk about what you won’t do next year? If I was your family I’d be relieved if you stayed home.
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What do you remember as a kid? I remember loving big family events and Christmas eve at my grandmothers was one of them. I personally try to give my kids those same experiences. If your husband wants to go I say you should go, if not … stay home and see them another day.
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You are an adult, with your own family. You make the decision and do what YOU want for Christmas. Why would you cave in to someone else’s selfish wishes. Grow a pair and make a decision and stick to it. You will get greater respect from family as a result.
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I did that for years than said no more when my youngest son was born and we had our own little family Christmas eve every year since My children are grown and we still do it
I see a lot of people up in arms about this. I ALSO SEE 
that you all have Christmas dinner together as well as Christmas Eve.
As a mother who NEVER sees her son during Christmas holidays (they spend Xmas Eve & Xmas day with DIL family - Boxing Day they hold a dinner for my ex husbands whole family (I usually get to stop by Boxing Day morning with my grandsons bday gift (his bday also) and all of their Xmas presents (must add that I was a good mom, my son loves me, and I really don’t know what the problem is). Anyway where was I? Oh yeah! I don’t see why you should have to spend your whole holiday with that side of the family. She should be grateful for 1 day or the other.
But where does your family fit into this? Unless a relationship with them is harmful they may be missing you & your family during the holidays…just a thought. I know how it feels. Thank goodness I have 2 daughters who I spend my holidays with.
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You can have Christmas Eve to yourselves… simply tell her you will be having Christmas Eve to yourselves. Better yet, her son should tell her. End of! It only turns into drama if you let it.
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Sounds like a power struggle here…
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Nope. Just don’t go and don’t feel guilty about it. And if they call you that day starting drama tell her you’ve already informed her of ur plans and you’ll see her for dinner Christmas night…love ya! click
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If you dont want to do Christmas with anyone then fine. But you need to talk to YOUR HUSBAND about it. Not getting advice from people on the internet. Ny husband works the same amount of hours each week as yours does on top of having and hour and a half drive to and from work and yet we can still manage to reach a decision together on holidays.
As far as your kids bedtime I don’t think one night is going to kill anyone. We are on a very tight bedtime schedule at our house but we have our nights where we dont get our child in bed until midnight sometimes and she had yet to gave a problem.
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Also I think that a lot of people Missed the part where you said that you go to ur MIL house for every holiday, and u want only Christmas Eve.
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girl u crack me up. Who cares what she gets mad about. Wipe her dirt off your shoulder n live your life with your child and man. Fudge her.
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I’d start coughing…don’t want to make anyone sick…cough cough. She will get the message
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One day that old lady will die and you’ll feel like a asshole. Go to the party Becky. Trust me, you will have the rest of your life to make your own traditions.
P.S. I used to act just like you.
U can stand up to her
Now I have kids I don’t have a problem saying no. My kids schedule matters, so does does mine and my husbands. If you have plans to see them Christmas than their is no problem saying no for Xmas eve.
We switch it up… my husbands family lived 3-4 hrs away and celebrate Christmas Eve. So we do one year with his family and the next year with mine as they do dinner Christmas Day. I habe 4 kids all when they where younger had stricken bed times of 730. Christmas is about family and being with those you love? So on these special holiday my kids got to stay up later, it never messed with there schedule. My brothers first wife started to pull crap when it was my mom’s year with dinner. It was hard on my mom and dad. Needless to say she is an ex wife now… there not going to be around forever and your gonna miss the family being all together. Our kids are getting older and I hope they carry on the Christmas traditions as I and my brother do with our parents. My kids have all year and boxing day to play with there toys all day at home. Not everyone will be around in the year or years to come. So to me that special time of togetherness is more important then selfish wants or why do u have to.
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We refuse to feel guilty about spending the holidays just the 3 of us in our homes. I’ve always hated running around everywhere with my family when I was growing up. We spent thanksgiving just the 3 of us and it was the best thanksgiving ever. Of course both of our families were mad but they got over it and everything’s fine. They understand well be doing the same Christmas too. Don’t feel bad about it. Make your own new family memories
Do you care that much about everyone’s feelings? I dont even kno why you’re asking Facebook for the answer 
I do family stiff with out family before or after Christmas eve or x mas. We di kids mas 2 weeks after for kids now. And my parents visit when they can . His just in invites us on Christmas knowing we wint show up. His mom gives kids gifts on 23rd now because of it. Stand your ground. It’s not even fir bed time. Its because I wanna enjoy holiday
I’m gonna guess this a clash of the values of different generations. Just try to set the healthy boundaries. I really think we have to stop putting our extended family first before our own kids. Some kids(more than people realize) need that structure no matter the holiday. It’s teaching our children to put others first and not themselves and that just isn’t healthy. I believe that if we stand our ground the right way we can and will raise children who take good care of themselves AND their loved ones while setting healthy boundaries. What’s the worst they do? Stop talking to you? That might be a blessing for the moment. Bad mouth you to others? That is only a reflection on them and you might be surprised what good you inspire in others by being so bold.
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I’d have to say be thankful for even having family that invited you in the first place…from what you are saying I wouldn’t invite you to begin with…Christmas is about family and joy sharing and caring…so stay home and keep teaching your little family all about shellfish and self being…ps merry Christmas…
Start your own Christmas Eve tradition… Who cares what others think or say. You do what makes you happy. You see them on Christmas anyways. It’s hard with little ones. I love just watching Xmas movies and being in Xmas pjs eating popcorn on Xmas eve night. Don’t want to be out and tired for Xmas day for sure!