I feel alienated and shunned by my family

When I got married a few years ago, I invited all of my family. But no one came, except my father and step mother. Even though my family lives less than 30 minutes from where I live. It was a very relaxed. We wanted people to come and enjoy themselves, verses making people be uncomfortable or feel they had to dress up. My husband and I had both been married before. So our service was more for enjoyment than for hype. Well my sister got married recently and my ENTIRE family went. It was over 2 hours away from where they live. My aunt, uncle, multiple cousins, their spouses, and all of their kids went as well. Her service was large, expensive, and her first marriage.

Years ago I had a falling out with my step mother and she can’t keep her mouth shut (which was part of the reason for the falling out). I am sure she has drug my name through the mud with all of family, without a second thought. I have been told by family members some of the things she says and it makes my blood boil. My aunt and my step mother are close. I feel that’s the reason the entire family went to my sister’s wedding and skipped mine. This is a VERY short version of the long story that has unfolded over the last 8 years between my step mother and myself.

I am having trouble letting these feelings of betrayal go and moving on. My family has never been close and I’ve always felt like an outsider. Even though we lived close, I was never invited to any family functions. I don’t feel as though I can trust them and I feel as though it’s time to cut them out of my life for good. But is that too drastic? Am I overreacting? Was it an honest mistake? I overthink everything and I may be doing it again. This is something I can’t come back from or take back if I do it. Maybe it’s best I just keep my distance and let things fall where they may. Advice?

I would probably just let it go and not talk to them anymore. Your family is your family, you’re supposed to love and take care of each other but yours sounds like the total opposite. I’m the same way with my dads side of the family… I don’t talk to them, they don’t invite me to gatherings. The only thing I get invited too is Christmas or thanksgiving to which I don’t go too, I’ll go sometimes and it’s just very awkward. I would just not talk to them honestly, they could have at least called and said we can’t come but to just not show up is rude.