This is my second pregnancy and I feel so alone. When I announced my pregnancy nobody in my family had anything nice to say, no congratulations nothing just negative and rude comments. When I told my parents they were not supportive at all! They had made nasty comments like telling me to get rid of it. And just making me feel like I’m a horrible mom and person. When I take care of my 1st child by myself. His dad moved away and never sees or talks to him, started a new family. I’ve been the one since day one. I do everything for my child. I’m with him 24/7. I don’t go out or anything. It just hurts that they talk bad about me as a mother. My father will literally go out and just talk bad about me. Out of all his kids I’m the bad one out of my siblings. all my siblings have records and put their selves in bad positions in life. When I’m the only one with no record or anything. I just don’t understand why I’m so horrible. I’ve cut out a lot of my family. We used to be so close and supportive but it disappeared. I hate going to family events I just feel like everyone talks about me. My partner now hasn’t been very supportive since he works a lot and works nights. He never comes to doctor appointments. I have explained how I felt to him. Everyone has me feeling so horrible and depressed that sometimes I wish I wasn’t pregnant. I can’t pick out names or baby stuff I just feel so detached from this pregnancy. It hurts I always wondered how I’m going to feel when this baby arrives will I have a connection or no… I’m just so lost.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel alone in my pregnancy: Advice?
The only ones who are gonna love and accept you for who you are…are your kids. Not your family NOT your spouse NOT anybody. Your kids will. Hug your stomach and think happy loving thoughts as the baby does feel everything:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: hugs!
Love them from afar but you don’t have to go to family events or gatherings if it is toxic, let them be. Keep loving your self and your child and feeling positive about your pregnancy and take care.
Cut out toxic unsupportive family. Build a new happy life. Find mom groups to make understanding supportive friends. Focus on staying healthy n stress free. Focus on your kids bc they need you! Stay positive and keep taking steps to continue creating a good life for your little family. Ignore all the comments just drown them out n cut those people off.
I can relate to this a lot. I’m sorry you are going through a rough time. I’ve tried to remember that the baby is a blessing and I do things to help me feel connected. Yes it sounds hard but when you find something to make a connection it will help. As far as your family I’d have to agree with other comments and cut them out, at least for now. You have to let them have their own emotions and not let it affect you. The best way to do that is leave them alone. Maybe when you or they feel better you can make that connection with them again. Things are tough in general and pregnancy only makes that tougher. Remember you can do this and if you have to do it alone then so be it. You are strong!
Stay to yourself as far as your family goes. They seem a little twisted. Your new little one needs you. So get the help if need be. But your little family can and will shine.
Your never alone. Seek Jesus. He loves you. And you have your other child too. Your pregnant, there is a person inside of you. Your not alone. ((hugs))
Focus on you and your kids! You got this!A lot of us have been down this same road. Praying for you and your kids
Your story says alot, disconnect from your family…not your child. But, since there are some details missing, I can see why they formed the attitudes they have, and from your description, it sounds like baby daddy #2 may not stick around either. Bond with your child…that is forever.
I’m sorry your having a hard time at the moment… don’t listen to anyone but yourself you will know what’s best for you and your family…
I was exactly where you were in feeling lost and lonely and having very close family tell me to have an abortion.
Let me say this, no one can change how other people think, feel or say, and I know how very badly it is for you to want that support and to be celebrated during this very special time in your life, but Momma, re-shift your focus onto yourself and your child and enjoy every single day of your pregnancy! When others around you are not in your circle supporting you, they thrive off of seeing you down in the dumps, stop giving them what they want and don’t feed into their negativity. If you have to cut them off until they finally come around, then so be it, why? , because your mental health and your growing baby deserves it. You will feel so much better by celebrating yourself and your pregnancy, even if your celebrating by yourself, I did! Give yourself credit for all that you have done so far and the wonderful Mother you already are and will be to this new one on the way!! If you are the praying kind, pray as often as you can and surrender the stress and loneliness to God and let him take the worries of what it is that you feel is lacking, he will in time provide, maybe not this second, but he listens, and he answers… Keep your focus on you and your child and stay positive! Enjoy this pregnancy and the precious life you are carrying. I went to every appointment alone too, it’s okay, I accepted it and still enjoyed seeing baby… Just make the best of every moment! This is a blessing, not a curse, you truly are blessed dear and I pray everything gets better for you, I know it will…
Stay away from all the negative people you don’t need that. Focus on you your baby and your pregnancy.
There are a lot of people
, even today, who disapprove having children out of wedlock. Sounds like that is the position of your family and I doubt there is any way to change their minds. As far as your partner is concerned you both need to sit down with a counselor and discuss both of your feelings relating to the pregnancy and your relationship!
Are you in financial straits and family thinks that you will be leaning on them for help/money/babysitting? Have you filed for child support from your first baby daddy? Are you getting food stamps and Medicaid? Do you live on your own or with your parents/other family? Be sure you are getting all the support you need. You will need to have a job for most of this, so start looking for work and see what subsidies you can get for child care.
Build your support system of fellow moms, and supportive friends, new and old. If your family helps you out with food, a home and/or child care, be grateful. It’s tough being a single mom, but you have to stand on your own two feet and not be dependent on others for everything. If you’re upset your BF doesn’t come to Dr. appointments, does that eat into his leave, or worse, maybe if he’s not at work he won’t get paid? If he’s the only breadwinner, that might be a factor. Also, if he has paid leave, he will want to save it to use when the baby is born. He might enjoy the first ultrasound though, so encourage him to attend that if it’s not already passed.
But you can do it! In the meantime decide what birth control you want to start on the minute you give birth. Make friends with other expectant moms at your doctors office or in childbirth classes or online so you can share the joy. Set up play dates with your child and others his age. Avoid the negative people and talk as much as possible. Keep a gratitude journal and keep looking for the positive in any situation. It can actually change how your brain works!
If you haven’t worked in a while, take some classes/training (in person, online, or You Tube) to brush up on marketable skills.
The most important thing you should know is that cutting out of toxic family members is RIGHT and most of the time a NECESSITY
I went thru my second pregnancy alone scans and everything , I feel more connected to my baby because it was like she was unwanted from the start from everyone. I know how it feels it’s horrible but once baby’s here you’re be fine
Prayers for your family. AC is now Canceled. Be sure to thank Jesus for your Deliverance and Miracle healing Amene
You are pretty much acting as a single parent why not go the whole way and do it without any help since you obviously ain’t getting it anyways
If they’re bringing you down you’ve gotta stop talking to them. They sound hella toxic anyways. Keep being the wonderful woman and mother that you are. And CONGRATS on your pregnancy!
Quit talking to your family; you don’t need that negativity in your life or in your children’s lives - your children are your family now
Tell them if they can’t respect you then you don’t need them. If you’re doing it all by yourself, obviously you’re a very strong and independent woman. I tip my hat to you my lady. I’ve been there and it’s hard