I feel closed off from my husband: How can I fix this?

My husband and I had an excellent relationship prior to me getting pregnant and us being married. I’ve tried for so many years to fix the marriage. I felt like things were starting to get better, and he was helping out a bit more, but then, I ended up hemorrhaging at home, which has never happened to me before. When I told him what was happening, he went to work. He didn’t call off to be with me or make sure I was okay. He didn’t call anyone to stay with me, nothing. He just left. A few days later, I went to the dr. I was in a lot of pain. He didn’t offer to drive me or anything; he was spending time with his family. I ended up going to the ER alone and scared out of my mind. Last summer, I had surgery, and he wasn’t there for me. He didn’t go with me (it was my first surgery ever), and he didn’t take care of me when I got home. I’m having a really difficult time forgiving him for this recent ER trip. When I was ready, I told him how I felt and that I was angry and sad because he wasn’t there for me. Ever since then, he’s been making small improvements to be better, but I’m having a hard time letting him back in. I feel completely closed off towards him. What do I do?!


You need to go to therapy or counseling. Please take him with you. There’s a lot more going on then you may think. His absence in your time of need says a lot and it’s alarming.

He shown you his true colors. Now you need to think long and hard about if you can live with someone like that

Yup happens. I been married over 25y times it like raising a child. Hard and when I blow up he gets better for few weeks then bk to square 1. Ongoing cycle it’s hard at times so we came up with plan well I did. Once mo sit down and talk abt what ever and nightly prayers just started on all this so have 0 clue will work but just my advice talk him and lay down rules as in help dishes laundry ect so what I’m like I stay home mom but still have to have own life. Since I had surgery been more helpful. But keep trying have dinner dates once week we use 2 til got hurt and then surgery. But soon can plan on going bk to date nights. But try date nights. Get bk to square 1 so u remember y u got married. Just keep trying

Pack up and run. I stayed for 17 years. Went to doctors constantly and then psychologists to regain my sanity. They have a narcisistic personality disorder and are incapable of showing love or affection, which is needed. So happy that I finally got out. Psychologist advised me to do this after 2 years of marriage to him and I kept hoping for a change because I loved him so very much.

That’s not right. My bf and I have been together for 6 years. My son, who hes raised, is seven. He’s always been there for us. He works an hour away from home at a good job. Hes taking the next two days off to be with our sick son so I can go to work, cuz I dont have paid days off like he does.

It takes a long time to rebuild trust after you are hurt. I suggest some therapy for you and maybe marriage counseling for the both of you.

Walk away and tell him why. If he comes to you and pleading with you to come home take 3 day for yourself and don’t talk to him. Tell him how you felt when he wasn’t there for you when you needed him the most. How alone, scared and uncertain you felt about your life at that moment. Then tell him when you go home , Now you know how it feels .

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How may you feel closed off if he was not aware of how you felt. Why harbour feelings from the past that do not enhance your present life. Let it go and leave it behind you. You are the energy you project. Just deal and let things flow naturally but for Heavens sake release your negative feelings from the past to have a positive life together.


Wow! So many saying leave… Marriage takes work from both sides. You both have to open up and talk about feelings. Compromise etc. Work on fixing issues first before just leaving. Leaving is last resort…


Personally, I’d leave. Life is too short.

Get a reliable babysitter or ask your Mother to keep the baby Make arrangements to have a weekend together to have some fun with your hubby do something together for you and your hubby a weekend away from home to recapture your Romantic lives before it’s too late help him remember why he married you in the first place

I find this to be disrespectful! The times that you needed him, were crucial! It wasn’t something petty! I would rethink this whole marriage!


Leave now!He maybe involved with someone else.If you did all this by yourself then it time to move on.If he care ,he would been there.Dont let him know you are leaving.Let him come home to a empty house.

What a piece of Sh$t!!! I would have dumped his A$$ for doing that, that is unacceptable. He proved his lack of love for you with his actions. :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::rage:


It is time to say Goodbye !! You need to find a man whom will Love you no matter what and that is there at all times in wellness and sickness.Stop wasting your time on your current husband.

i have been married 20 years… my husband has only been at one of my surgeries and thats because we moved away from everyone we know.

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I see a lot of I instead of WE. that is the first issue i see… marriage isn’t one sided its a joint effort. You have to tell men what to do… they aren’t nurturers.


He is worth less to ur well being he needs to go you can and have been doing it on ur know

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Just walk away he only thanks about himself

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he’s a jerk. I wouldn’t want to be married to him.

Personally, my husband and I don’t leave each other’s side when it involves each other’s health. We don’t have a perfect marriage but we work hard at it. He’s not super nurturing when it’s just the flu or something. I, on the other hand, take him meds, soup, drinks, blankets, etc…but we have 3 kids and he never missed an appt. I have kidney stones and he spent 6 hours at the hospital 3 different times. (after figuring out child care) and would call to check on me on nights that he had to work. I appreciated it very much but I also feel that’s how it should be. If my husband was the one having surgery, there isn’t anything that could keep me away. I’ve learned that if someone truly cares about you, they show up for you. Because they want to. I feel like he’s only being a little better now to “stay outta trouble.” I hope and pray that I’m wrong but I’m afraid you’re way more invested in the relationship than he is. Over time, that becomes a miserable place to be. Good luck! People rarely change but it is possible. I will say that feeling like you love someone more than they love you is enough to drive anybody crazy😞

Men’s minds don’t work like ours do. He may not even realize his actions made you feel that way. Don’t hold back tell him how he made you feel and go from there.


You need to move forward…it will hurt for a while but you will heal…for you and kids and family …you be ok…

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Seems to me he ain’t the married type, just my opinion

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Get rid of your hubby…hes definitely not interested in a " partnership"

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Do you need more proof that hes self centered and not the support you need?? Why are you still there? NO ONE wortg a damn would leave tgeir spouse if they were bleeding!!! Or let them go thru surgery alone. Stand up for yourself!!! Kick him OUT!!!

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Men are not mind readers also there HAS to be constant communication. What hurts you may not register in his head. Like oh crap I didn’t even think it was that big of a deal. You know?

I have been married for 19 years today. Forgive him so that you dont hold on to the anger. If you dont forgive him, you won’t let him back in and you might as well kiss your marriage goodbye.
Many times you need to tell your husband(like you do a child) what they need to do like call your boss you need to take me to the hospital, etc.

Try marriage counseling, talking to each other, telling him what your expectations are if this happens again. People dont know what your expectations are if you dont tell them.

It sounds like he has checked out of your marriage. Suggest marriage counseling. If he is not up for it, you may really consider seperation. I hate to say that but your basically living as room mates and that isn’t good for your children to see the type of relationship. Think about your children first then yourself then your husband. Best of luck to you all.