I’m 21 weeks pregnant with my third baby I already have two boys now I have a baby girl on the way. I’m struggling so hard with depression and feeling entirely emotionally detached from this pregnancy, and the situation has anyone felt like this before? I do go to counseling, but it doesn’t seem to be helping too much… I just hate myself for feeling this way.
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Yes I was in denial my whole pregnancy with my last child he’s now 7… it was hard to not just think of me but also my child… I know EXACTLY what you are feeling and going through…
I felt slightly like this with my second (I had a boy and my second was a girl) when she was born those feelings were still there and I barely touched her at the hospital, every time she cried I told my partner to pick her up. I loved her to bits I just can’t explain the way I felt. I talked to the health visitor who did an assessment and helped hugely and visited every week. She’s 2 now and love her to bits, she’s my little shadow
I never liked being pregnant. I too have 2 boys and then had a surprise girl. You don’t have to enjoy it. It’s the means to the end. Just be sure to talk with your doctor afterwards since it seems you may already being dealing with partum depression. I’m sure you will love your little girl.
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have you tried supplementing with some Vit B and folic acid? Sometimes being low will lead to depression and using a good supplement can help increase your levels enough that you’ll feel more engaged. Ask you nutritionist about it!
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You are not alone, I was the same way with my third… like mentioned above, seek help if this continues or worsens after she is born… after mine was born all those emotions or lack of changed and that little girl is my bestest friend! 
It will get better. These feelings you are having don’t mean you don’t love your baby. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.
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This is common those feelings will come further in the pregnancy usually
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Keep talking with your dr and seeing what you can do. I had that with my last pregnancy with twins. I had partum depression and it’s hard. Try putting baby things up, small stuff like that. They eventually had to put me on low dose meds for mine. Not saying that’s for everyone or that you need it. I hope you start feeling better and find a way that works so your not so hard on yourself
I didn’t feel attachment the entire pregnancy AND even the first couple weeks after. And that’s with my first baby! I was even trying for 2.5 years!!! Every woman is different. As a culture, we’ve created this fairytale way of how a mom should just be over excited and joyous and instantly connected with their babies the SECOND they come out of us. Really all that cultural expectation does is cause worry and depression for the mothers who don’t experience that. My son is now 4 months old and I can’t get enough of him… I grew into that bond and overwhelming love. I didn’t ignore him, I didn’t have post partum depression, I even sang to him while he was in my belly but I felt no connection or overwhelming joy despite literally praying for him for years. I couldn’t imagine life without my child and never could! I just am not one of those women who are described by our societies “norm” 
What you’re feeling is NORMAL, as long as your levels are fine and you’re not feeling sad or like you wanna harm you or the baby then it’s OKAY.
I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my son. It turned around a lot when they laid him on my chest. If it’s really bad you can always try antidepressants (I did until it seemed like they were making things bad in a different way). It did make my breastfeeding harder, but it picked up eventually. Either way definitely talk to your doctor about it and ask about counseling. Good luck, mama.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I know the feeling. Be kind to yourself. Stay in counseling bet when you see, smell and hold her the connection will be immediate! She will be your best friend.
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I felt just the same with my first pregnancy and I love that little girl fiercely and have since the moment she was born. Just go through the motions of what you need to do: go to all doctor’s appointments, get baby’s room, clothes etc. prepared. I chose to see a therapist during and after my pregnancy and he assured me it’s not as unusual as you may think. Make sure you are eating well and taking care of yourself too. It will pass.
It’s very sad to now know that you are not feeling well it will get better soon pregnancy is not easy an when you sick it is worst talk to Dr and your family do something fun is your husband sopirtive that help I understand that feeling very well u didnot have the support ant how you will deliver soon the baby will make you feel good trust me ,
Please go and like Who Hurt You? I hope you’ll be able to get helpful input there.
I know how you feel after nearly dying with my little boy I now have a little girl on the way I’m also finding it hard as I’m high risk again feel selfish sometimes like some people would still probably kill to have a baby it’s a lonely feeling hope your ok 
Cut yourself some grace. Talk to your dr find the right provider for depression . Your regular dr may not be specialized in this area. You want someone who is. Luck
Relax, be excited that it’s a girl, totally different in raising. I think what you might be feeling isn’t detachment but more on the side of overwhelming. This is your 3rd child, excitement is low but it is your firt girl. A mini you…get excited for that! Again it’s all hormone related so don’t feel bad, I think as it draws closer you will start feeling different.
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It sounds like you’re putting alot of pressure on yourself. There are all sorts of reasons that we feel the way we do when pregnant. For example, my 3rd pregnancy we were having financial trouble. I had a really tough feeling anything but panic for the longest time.
Be kind to yourself. Eat right, take walks, be open with doctors, family and your counselor about how you’re doing. Eliminate the stress of trying to pretend everything is ok. Just focus on having a healthy pregnancy. Yes this experience will be different than your first 2, but it doesn’t mean that over time you won’t find something unique and special about having baby #3. Good luck and please ask for help when you need it!
I feel like your possibly being too hard on yourself. Your pregnancy may feel different but I have a feeling once she is in your arms or even moving around more in that belly that you will adjust.
Maybe a pamper day for you both would be relaxing. Congratulations too. I do agree with the other person that said to express this to your doc after giving birth if your struggling on it. Pretty little princess you will have.
You might hate your self but you’re going to love the baby. Smile.
The rewards of raising your kids will outweigh your depression in the long run when they grow with you hang in there mommy
Have you looked into medication? There are meds that are safe in pregnancy and can completely change your feeling this way. Strongly recommend at least taking to your dr about it.
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I felt this / had post partum with my 2nd daughter. Going to therapy helped and making sure I took care of myself. I had to make time for me and not be all consumed with motherhood/being a wife. It was a hard and dark journey but you will come out on the other side & have an amazing bond with your baby girl. There’s a lot more to it and if you ever want to PM me I am here to talk! I’m currently pregnant with our 4th baby.
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Have you had your vitamin D level checked ? I was feeling the same way and vitamin D supplement helped.
You should let your counselor know that you still feel the same way and you don’t feel like the counseling is helping. It’s possible that the counselor you currently see just isn’t the right fit for your situation.
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I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my second child. And I also didn’t immediately feel a bond with him like I did my first. But within a day or two it came. Sometimes your hormones take over your emotions.
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Yes, my second pregnancy I struggled bad with depression and completely detached from the pregnancy and felt like I couldn’t love this baby. So different from my first. But as soon as I saw her and they laid her on me I fell completely in love. I am still struggling with depression as I’ve dealt with it my whole life but never like I did during pregnancy. Try not to hate yourself mama, unfortunately some women just feel this way during pregnancy. You’re doing your best, keep up with counseling now and after you have baby because chances are you might struggle with ppd if you’re already feeling this way. You got this.
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I felt that way. I was pregnant with my first/only son. I cried for the first three months after I found out. I cried off and on after that. Some days I was good and other days I didn’t think I could get out of bed. What helped me was being with my friends or family. It gave me a chance to not worry or stress about being pregnant and they always made me laugh. My son is just over a month now and I’m excited even on days when I get down and don’t think I can make it.
I was like that with my second the ENTIRE pregnancy. He’s almost 3 now and I feel bad for feeling that way but I couldn’t love the little shithead more if I tried 
I felt this way with my first born, I didnt even buy anything for her/prepare for her birth, until after she arrived because I was so unattached. I had severe depression my entire pregnancy, but thankfully it changed when she was born. I did not have ppd with her, I got so attached to her tiny self that I got severe separation anxiety from her, and would literally cry if I had to leave her with anyone for more than 15 minutes. My hormones were a wreck lol.
This happened to me I had two kids and one on the way I cried the whole time. I had her at 33 weeks and the day I had her I was 100 % better . Like I was a totally different person. I wish you well just hang in there .
I felt that way with my pregnancy. Even after birth i loved her i was happy but i was so so sad and emotional, granted a loy had happened in my life. It honestly took a good week to finally be happy completely about it all and be able yo look at her and not think about everything that had happened. Itll come just breathr you have 2 kids keeoing you busy
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Sounds like depression. I’ve been through it. You will fall in love with the baby. Eat right, take care of yourself and do things that will make you happy.
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I had an anterior placenta with my baby girl, because I never felt her move more than like 5 times in 9 months I didn’t really feel an attachment. She’s 3 months now and she’s my whole world. You’re not alone
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It will come in time. With my second I had a lot of complications which made it hard for me to feel a connection. Because of that I got hit with postpartum depression for a few months after she was born. It took some time and a lot of effort, but we have a bond now and she is 18 months. We started to really bond around 10/11 months. I know that may seem like a long time to not connect, but once you do, it will be like it was always there. She loves me just as much as my first did. Its not always going to be easy and some days the depression might win, but as long as you keep talking to your therapist and keep trying to do the best for your child, you will get that bond. Keep you head up, you are doing great!
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I had prenatal depression. I just wanted to cry all day. I had no connection, struggled. I didn’t want to take meds pregnant so I brought my friends in to help me. It was really hard to admit I needed help. But being alone all the time made it worse. I thought I experienced depression before, but nothing compared to that. I had to force myself to get through each day, but talking to my friends help me. And then it just slowly went away. The hormones are crazy and life is hard. Do what you can and talk to everyone! You will get through it!
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Could be pre partum depression that’s a real thing and almost NEVER talked about like post partum depression. You would think they would because pre partum depression can easily turn into post partum depression.
Please talk to your Ob.
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I had that with my last one too and this one but in a different way but it does sound like it could be prenatal depression
I had a miscarriage before having my son. Even going into labor it didn’t feel real and i felt detached. It it’s normal and the first few weeks or even months might feel weird but it gets better 
i felt like this during my second pregnancy. i wanted a girl so bad & was expecting a boy. my pregnancy was also rough so it just made it worse. but from the moment he came it all changed. i love him so much & he is the sweetest child on the planet. i just had my third & last baby & got my girl & i am so thankful he came first because i would have been done having kids. i could not imagine having him in my life.
I’m due 12/26 and still feel completely detached from baby #4. Counseling has helped, but not fixed it. I’ve yet to put together the bassinet, car seat (hand me down needed washed) or hang any baby clothes. Barely came up with a name (actually just did 2 days ago). I know once he’s here I’ll feel better, but for now I’m just in complete denial. Probably not the most helpful comment, but know it’ll be ok.
I’m 33 weeks and feel the same way. I never felt this way with my first. I know itll work out and is most likely my depression /anxiety working since I stopped taking my medication due to the pregnancy. I’ve bought outfits started a scrap book nothing really has me feeling connected I do feel comfort in the fact that alot of women say they have experienced this and things changed so I’ve been doing things so I won’t have regrets.
Yes! It was awful when I was pregnant with baby #3 but when I had her it was such a blessing, she was so beautiful and perfect, such a huge blessing, it will come