I feel really guilty about having another baby. I have a 20-month-old daughter, and I’m due in a month with my son. I’m excited and happy about having another child, but there are times where I get really upset and feel guilty about having another one so soon. My daughter is my best friend, and she’s very clingy to me, and I don’t want her to feel replaced or like I don’t love her as much anymore. My son was unplanned, and I wish I had more time with it, just my daughter getting my attention. Is it normal to feel guilty?
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My youngest two will be less than 14 months apart… I’m in the same boat.
Understandable but don’t feel guilty. Think of it this way, you’ll see your daughter become a big sister and that is wonderful. There’s always enough of mom’s love to go around.
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Very normal. I have a 3 year old little girl and a 3 month old son. I still feel guilty from time to time but my babygirl knows I love her and I try to play with her and give her as much attention as I can. She gets jealous and that’s normal too.
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They r usually closer when there isnt a big age difference not always but my brother is only one and a half yrs older than me we r close
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My sons are 11 months apart for the most part they got along pretty good
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I feel the same way, my daughter is 11months n she’s my bestest friend and my son is due here a few weeks . I’m so scared of how she’ll react to her baby brother. I’m also a lil sad it’s no longer gonna just be us lol. But I’m also beyond excited to meet my son 
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Of course it’s okay to feel like this. Completely normal. It’s a worry you’ll change your feelings about your daughter or not love your son enough. Your love won’t change. You just realise you had it in your heart to also love another child the same amount. Just think how in the end you with have two little best friends and all the stuff you can do. Your daughter will love being a big sister. Encourage her to help. Get her a dolly and you can do everything together still. It’ll be a huge bonding experience her being involved with everything and giving her a life long best friend to play with. Dressing up becomes even more fun! It can be so amazing. You can still do so much together. Get a baby carrier or sling and then you’ll have your hands free for her times when baby is cuddley. Get her helping get nappies and wipes ready for changes. Included in Bath times and she can choose outfits for baby to wear daily. It’ll be adorable. Make a huge fuss about he becoming a big sister. It’ll be wonderful
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I felt sooooo guilty before having my second with the same concerns. But seeing the way my daughter glued herself to her baby brother made it all melt away. I just make sure to have some time with her alone too~ it’s easier than you think! You’ll do good, you’re a good mama for worrying about this stuff. Your kids will be absolutely fine 
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That’s normal, just make sure you still give her one on one time after you have your boy.
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I have 2 daughters 14 months apart and they are the best of friends and especially when they were younger they were inseparable. They have 2 younger siblings as well. I was an only child until I was 15 and always wanted a lil brother or sister to play with.
I have three kids all under the age of 5 I feel guilty at times cuz some days one needs more attention than the other two but they know mommy still loves them they understand and most the time they want to try to help with new baby and it helps u guys bond too have her help get things to help with baby brother
Its ok momma… Just make sure you give her some mommy daughter time daily… Have her help you with the baby, and keep her feeling included and it will be ok… Promise
Yes it’s normal I have 2 girls 15 months apart the guilt towards the end of my 2nd pregnancy was filled with tears but they are best friends now 2 & 3 yrs old and the love they have is amazing to see …it’ll be ok and they will have a forever friend it’s hard but more than worth it
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Just let her help do as much as she can when the baby gets here. She can grab a diaper or the wipes. Just make her feel included. It will be fine. My boys are 14 months apart. They are best friends.
My brother and I are only 10 months apart and growing up it was so nice to have a brother so close in age. Don’t feel guilty in the end having siblings is better then being an only child and your daughter will end up being happy about it
I felt the same. Mine are 15 months apart. There is definitely some
Jealousy that will happen, just make sure your daughter gets alone time with you too. They will be best friends for life 
I felt guilty also. Like there was no way I would be able to give the same amount of love to my new child and I didnt want to take away from my oldest. Believe me, it passes as soon as you have that baby in your arms and big sister is gonna love him. Congrats
My 2 youngest children were born exactly 11 months apart (8/8/17 & 7/8/18)
I felt so guilty because my oldest daughter had to quickly transition from one little sibling to two in less than a year and my son wasn’t going to have a lot of time being the only baby. I felt like I was depriving him of his time being the baby. But once my youngest daughter was born I made sure to give each one of them one on one time and still do. It’s not always easy but it’ll be okay! My 2 youngest are the best of friends and inseparable. And my oldest daughter loves her little siblings to pieces❤️
My babies are about 24 months different and my daughter adores her brother shes more happy now than before
Totally normal! Mom of three here and I felt the exact same way both times. Everything works out no worries mama
Very normal. What I did was I took my oldest son to the store with me. I let him look around but not get anything. Later on that day I went go back to the store and bought the toy he wanted. I wrapped it up and I told him it was from his little brother( the baby in my tummy) he was so surprised and happy. He still talks about it till this day.
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My kids are 14months apart. And it was hard dealing with that. But they are best friends now!
Four years between mine. Oldest one said baby is his always looked after him. He wanted to change him always held bottle for him . Never jealous. I thought he would be but wasn’t.
They will be each others best friends. Make you littles part of the pregnancy.
This is soooo common. Maybe turn to YouTube to see other moms that have dealt with it. Or talk to a therapist. Either way, it’s totally normal. 
I cried when I found out I was pregnant with my second child because I didn’t think I’d be able to love him as much as I did the first one (5 years between them so I don’t think it matters how close in age they are) and it made me feel SO guilty but then he was born and it just adds to the love that already exists. No worries. It will be great!!!
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It’s normal. I felt the same way with my kids. Just make special time for your daughter when you can and let her know she is still loved as much as she always was
I feel like this is a completely normal feeling and once your baby is born, it’ll go away. 
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It’s all worth it, my son was best friend and got greater when I had his little brother it will be okay
Yes
Normal… my first two were 22 months apart girl first then boy… i just included her in everything, was like second mommy… she would get to help and i would get her things to do same to her dollies… they are now 28
And 26 perfectly normal… dont stress
Yes. My boys were 17 months apart. It was overwhelming for me, because I was 28 when I had my first son, after a lot of planning and failures with a fertility specialist. I thought I’d never get pregnant, and when he was born, I treasured and spoiled him and he was my everything. We only wanted the one child. Then suddenly I got pregnant, on the pill, with our second child. I felt more than guilty … I was depressed and really didn’t want another child. I couldn’t get excited at all about it. Then our second child was born premmie, with lung problems and in distress … And all of a sudden the mama instincts kicked in and I realized how precious he was to us and how much I loved him and wanted him in my life.
We talked with our oldest son about how this was his baby brother, and how he was going to need his big brother to leave be him and help take care of him. There were times along the way when I wished I had been able to spend more time with each of them on an individual basis, but they are 30 and 31 now, and very close, and I wouldn’t change things … even if I could go back and change it.
My daughter’s are 26 months apart and every one calls them twins because they are so close. You will also always have an incredible bond with your oldest and she’ll have a best friend
Me and my brother are a year and four days apart. I promise you we fought like cats and dogs growing up but we were best friends and still are to this day. He is my go to for everything.
My mom was terrified at first (I wasn’t planned either) but she says it was actually great. I was pretty ahead with everything like potty training, tying my shoes etc, because I wanted to do everything my brother was doing.
Also, I’m a bonus mom of baby girls that are 16 months apart and they are best friends. They would be lost without each other. And their bond is amazing.
You and your babies will adjust just fine!
It’s normal… Now I’m on number 3… The trick is to manage time, involve your oldest in stuff with baby as much as possible and spend alone time with both when you can. My youngest is 13 months, she goes to bed at 7. My oldest is 3 and goes to bed at 8… So that is how I manage to spend alone time with my oldest. My youngest wakes up early at around 5 in the morning and my oldest doesn’t wake til about 7 or 8… That is how I spend alone time with my youngest.
Throughout the day it’s about making everything as inclusive as possible. There are times when my oldest wants to be doing her own thing and that’s fine too.
Be sure to include your daughter. As he’s your baby too. I’ll need help with our new baby. Let her help. But also make a big deal of her firsts. Or even 51sts. Lol
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my daughter is almost six and my son is 6 weeks old and we are still adjusting
She still doesnt want anything to do with the baby
This too could happen
But it is ok…they both have their own personalities and will come around when she is ready.
I think she is resisting because everyone said to her you’re going to be a great big sister and now she doesn’t want to be
She always does the opposite.
Wish I knew how to prepare her for that
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I was in your shoes !!! My first born daughter is 3, I had my second daughter 4 months ago. I cried and felt the same as you. But, it has all worked out so well the girls get a long great no jealousy at all !! Everything just falls into place. 
. Congrats I n your new bundle of joy. I wish you the best of luck mama .
My boys are 20 months to the day apart… They are now 15 and almost 17 and I would not change a thing…
Felt that too my oldest and middle are 17 months apart. An I felt like I had failed my first born by taking his time away and after my son was born felt more guilt because my second child has disabilities an required so much more attention. I love all my kids so very much but I still carry guilt.
Completely normal, I was riddled with guilt when I was pregnant with my second and after he was born, when I first found out I was pregnant with my second my first was only 16 months
Me and my sister are 18 months apart and we are each others best friends’ normal to feel guilty but I it will change when little one is here
My youngest was planned and I still felt guilty and my daughter was 8 when I got pregnant. I still occasionally do. Just include your daughter in tasks like picking out outfits. Reassure her she’s loved, that baby brother is just too little and helpless and needs everybody a lot right now. She’ll be fine. Maybe a little jealous but she’ll get over it. My kids are inseparable.
I know exactly how you feel my husband and I want another but we feel torn. We have a 3 year old with autism. We worry about him not getting the help and attention he needs but also want him to have a sibling to grow up with. Also want the other child to not feel like it’s not getting the equivalent amount. We also worry about having another child with autism. It’s not that we wouldnt love the child if they were. we just want them to thrive as much as possible and help them as much as we can. Right now I’m having a hard time getting my 3 year old potty trained since he is mostly non verbal only knowing a few words.
Total normal. I felt the same way when my 2nd son was on the way. All the anxiety and worry was for nothing they’re so close now and best friends. Now I 5 years later also have a 11 mo daughter and they’re her protectors. Enjoy the last days of having an only child. When baby comes just make sure to take time for just your daughter so she feels important too. A lot is going to change but change isn’t always a bad thing. Being this close in age may be a blessing. Congratulations momma.
It is totally normal. And also, you will see more mom guilt in the future. Plan out your day so it’s special for the three of you.
My daughter was 7 when I had my son. At first, it will be hard. But then you learn how to balance and make time for both of them. Make tome for things that you do only with her, and when he’s older, make time for things with just him. You can be a good momma to both.
I had three…each kid 17 months apart
Was a handful but the oldest girl was very involved with each new baby, carried around her baby doll , lol…the second girl did everything early, teething, potty trained at 2 ( when j suggested tok the older one maybe it’s time to potty, the younger one would race her to the bathroom yelling,“I get the big potty!” …the baby boy i kept on a late night schedule, so we had lots of time together…So, the kids are 46-50 now , the marriage didn’t work out tho …I was 25 with 3 kids under 5 when I got divorced
Luckily met a wonderful man , been married 40 years…
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yup i had it when i was pregnant with my 2nd and my 3rd
Very normal. My first daughter was and is still my best friend. My 2 oldest r 11 months apart, and I felt the same way. But when my son was born she loved him so much and her attention quickly turned to him and wanted to play with him, hold him and love on him all the time. They were best friends, and still very close to this day. But now i have 4 children ages 12,11,6 & 4. But my first 2 got alone so well and always played together. So once ur son is born u wont feel as bad and hopefully she will be there for him like my daughter was. My daughter was still a baby herself as well.
honestly my 1st daughter would have done better with having a sister at 2ish than at 4.5. but I lost my 2nd daughter. and my 3rd made it home.
Yes it normal to feel that way all my sons are close in age. When baby asleep spend one on one with her. N when hes awake have her help like hand u diapers, wipes, butt cream. Make her feel she helping u n her baby brother.
My daughter was 20 months when my son was born and she was attached to me like glue. With me when ever she was awake and all and as soon as her brother appeared she did an amazing job adjusting. Now he is 15 months and our 3rd is due in 8 weeks and both kids comprehend it and are excited. My older 2 adore each other and I think the age difference is really good because they are growing together
My oldest was 3 and still felt guilty for having another baby because I felt like I didn’t have enough time with him. You will never have enough time with either one of them but after our baby was born our family just felt better. My oldest loves his brother and it is just right I guess? I can’t think of how else to say it.
My first 2 are 16 months apart. When I was pregnant with my second I kinda felt the same way. I think it’s normal. Now that they are 6 and 7 yo, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’ll do great mama
involve your daughter get diaper whatever she can do she has important job being big sister
I have 2 1/2 and a 6 month. I am still able to spend alot of time with my older girl and give her the attention she needs. If u have a good support system and help its a big help!! Dont feel guilty. Just b sure to give ur older the attention they need!
My sister and I are just over two years apart, and while she definitely got jealous sometimes when we were younger, we are very close. Just try to include your daughter in things that involve the baby, like playtime or storytime. Lots of two years old girls love helping with babies, so hopefully she’ll be like that.
They will be the best of friends.
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Two of mine are 20mo apart and they are very close, often mistaken for twins! Just remember love doesn’t divide, it multiplies. Keep your daughter involved with helping with the baby so she feels important and invovled.
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Yes it’s normal to feel guilty. But it’s not necessary. They will be best friends.
Welcome the new baby, your 20 month bubs will learn to adapt, give her things she can help with baby with you, They will be the best of friends.
She is hitting the age where she loves to help, so showing her how proud you can be with her being a big sister will help her bond to hin
I felt that way. As soon I held him everything changed. It will be just fine.
Its normal. I felt guilty for taking the time away from my son and giving it to a new baby. The first night home when my son wanted me to carry him i cried. It was hard the first few weeks, even months. I learned quickly to involve my son as much as possible to make him feel needed and not feel like an outcast. Include him in hekping with nappy changes, have him bring you the diapers or even taking the dirty diaper to the trash. Maybe washing bottles, have him help you sing lullabys. Dont beat yourself up about it, once you have your newborn and you’re back home things will fall into place. Just take it day by day 
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Everything Yosell Cardenas just posted. Mine were 22 months and I went thru lots of guilt. Children are very resilient and will adjust. Just love on your babies and it’ll all fall into place.
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My daughter takes a day for each child monthly for just that child they all get along lovely and don’t feel left out
I was literally in this same situation my 2 now but literally same boat. I made my daughter feel included with things I did help mommy change ur brother I made her feel special by helping me and making it a big deal. I also did little special things with her as well to make her feel special. now they are 2 n 4 and they are the best of friends she loved helping me woth him. I asked my self I love her so much how can I love another and I did they are both my world my 2 peas n a pod
I had my kids 22 months apart and my second was planned. I had the same worries and fears but once she was born, they all disappeared! When baby naps, I give my toddler special one on one time and we go in the backyard and play. He knows when Sissy is up, it’s time to go back inside. You’ll get into a routine!
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I have a 2 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. My babies were exactly 13 months apart. I had the same worries you do, especially since my son was very clingy and still is. But he took to his sister and she took to him. I sometimes struggle with giving equal attention because of their age, my son is learning to talk and potty train and use a cup. And my daughter still requires diaper changes more often and can’t communicate.and still uses bottles and can’t eat certain things yet. So naturally she gets a little more attention. And that still makes me feel guilty here and there, but my son understands and he’s still a happy loving baby. He’s not mad at me, he even helps with her sometimes. He likes to give her her bottle and sleep next to her.i wouldn’t worry too much, things will fall into place. And just do your best to make time for her when you’re not taking care of the new baby. She will grow to understand she will adjust. And jealousy may happen, But she’s not going to think you don’t love her anymore or anything like that. And soon she will understand why the changes were made. My son has come to understand that his sister isn’t capable of the things he is and he tries to help me with her.
Dont worry so much. Enjoy the time you have left with your little being the only one. You’ll see it was a great thing soon and your two kids being close in age will help the bond be so strong. And make sure you plan days just for you and the older kiddo so they dont feel left out too much. Babies take a lot of time and attention and I know we had a 5yo and a baby and the 5yo was jealous as can be. Lots of age difference there though. Good luck on your journey! You’re gonna do great!
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I felt this way to and our second was planned. It sucks, not gonna lie. My boy loves his baby sister but it was a hard adjustment, more for me than my toddler 
We are fairly adjusted now at 3 months post and it will continue to get better. It’s hard at first but you’ll get there and your little one will adjust! Kids are super adaptable and she won’t even remember what it was like without her little sibling. It’s harder on you Mama than it is on your babies. Siblings help development of your other children.
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I’m sure it’s normal, mine are 5yrs apart and i felt so guilty. My son was 4 and he was super clingy when i was pregnant but after the baby was born things where fine. I always made sure to pay lots of attention to my older boy too so he wouldn’t feel replaced or left out.
Totally normal, I felt the same way for awhile but my daughter is getting used to her brother
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I also am going through this so if you want to message me feel free. I’m having my second child here soon and I have a 2 year old who is very clingy to me as well and I feel very guilty and a wave of a lot of other emotions. Some days I feel my oldest is excited but other I feel that he knows things are about to majorly change.
This is exactly how I felt. My oldest is 3 in October. And I just had our 2nd baby 2 weeks ago. I cried a lot the days leading up to his birth. Every time I looked at my oldest I felt bad because his life was changing and he had no idea. But once we brought baby home everything felt right. And all the worries went away.
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My kiddos are almost exactly 2 years apart. 6 weeks ago I was in your shoes… today I wish I would have stressed a little less. Its amazing how much your heart grows with another baby. Is it hard with a newborn and toddler?? Yes, but my toddler is very helpful and loves her brother. We were super close before he was born and now we have become closer, if you believe thats possible. Having a second kiddo has also given my hubby some bonding time with out toddler because she isnt constantly with me. Good luck 
My kids are 5 years apart and even though I wanted another baby, I felt so guilty. I wondered if I could love another like I loved him. As soon as I saw my daughter, my heart exploded all over again. While I love different things about them, my love for both is unconditional. You’re feelings are totally normal and you’ll be fine once you see that precious bundle
I’m due in less than 3wks and my babies will be 4yrs apart. Because of the difficulties of conceiving I thought my 1st would be our only. I too felt the guilt but as my bump got bigger my 1st would talk to her sibling. That was what I needed and now I’m ok… we’re ok.
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I have 2 Autistic children. Both are boys who need extra help. I’m due in November with their sister. I’m always feeling guilty
Same here! I think they will be close and have a wonderful bond eventually, but boy this adjustment period is hard!
Planned or unplanned, our babies are meant to be here. With mine, the bond is closer with them being closer in age. Everything will work out, and just remember it’s our hormones that drive our brains crazy these days lol. You will prevail Mama❤
I felt guilty because my son was turning two a month before I had his sister. She wasn’t planned and was conceived through 2 birth controls. I wanted more time for just me and him, and I wanted him to be old enough that he was asking for a little brother or sister. (He said he wanted a little sister after we were pregnant when we asked him what he wanted, but that’s not the same.) I think it’s normal that everyone goes through to some degree.
My last two were that close together …to this day they are best friends and get along better than youngest and oldest … wish I had first two closer… no regrets …I gave all the same attention …then oldest went to school
Research techniques to help her transition into not being an only child anymore. They really do help! One of my favorites is simply telling the baby, out loud, to wait when the baby starts crying and you’re busy with the older kid. “Baby, wait one second, I’m doing xyz with older child!” Of course only wait a minute or two, but it’ll help the older child feel like their needs and time spent with you matters, too, and doesn’t always come second. Good luck!!
I feel exactly the same with my son, his little bro is due in October and I feel sad that our relationship will change
Yes it’s normal I felt like that when I was preg with my second daughter now I feel like that being pregnant with my son.
Just relax! You don’t have to explain yourself. Children are a gift from God.
Just wait till those emotions hit times infinity on the day you give birth it’s totally normal and you’re going to love every single second of it wants to see them together
Awww it is natural to feel this way but I promise you that it will all work out and your daughter will have a “ “forever” best friend. Good luck.
Yes it is. It won’t take long to adjust to your new normal, and then you’ll have two best friends. I always used my babies’ nap time to do something special with my toddlers. We’d have a tea party or just play on the floor. I always want them to feel special too. I also planned activities with my toddlers and infant, whether it was just reading a book or something simple.
Just include your daughter in very thing y’all should be fine.
Congrats!
you don’t devide the love it multiplies .relax you’ll be fine .
Totally normal. 18month gap between my two. Was a struggle, but worth it.
They will be fine …so close in their sibling great
My kids are 2 yrs apart and it was the best decision I made.
I’m feeling the same way 
some days I just cry about it when he’s taking his naps lol
You could give up someone that definitely wants chrilden
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I have an 8 yr old and a 5 week old…i went through the same thing. I felt guilty cuz for 8 yrs it was just me and my son.
I felt like this right before I had my second also. That feeling went away the second he was born. They are best friends now.