I feel guilty about having another child: Advice?

I feel really guilty about having another baby. I have a 20-month-old daughter, and I’m due in a month with my son. I’m excited and happy about having another child, but there are times where I get really upset and feel guilty about having another one so soon. My daughter is my best friend, and she’s very clingy to me, and I don’t want her to feel replaced or like I don’t love her as much anymore. My son was unplanned, and I wish I had more time with it, just my daughter getting my attention. Is it normal to feel guilty?


I did this as well be sure to keep talking to your doctor

They’ll be best friends. I know it makes you feel bad now but as they grow older and they become closer you’ll never regret it again

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Normal. In a year 2 will feel as natural as one. Kids are smart, she can tell there is change coming.

It will be ok, I felt the same way. My daughter had just turned 2 when I had my son.

We had our first two 14 months apart and it was hard at first but its so great now. They play really well together

I think every mom feels like this. I know I felt this way. Mine are 22 months apart. I didn’t know how I could love another child as much as my first. But life is funny and I couldn’t imagine life without my second! :heart:

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It is very normal to feel that way! My youngest is four and I’m due in August, and I get sad sometimes when I think about him not being the baby anymore. Having them closer is probably harder on you emotionally, but as soon as baby is born you will feel better. They will be so close and always have someone to play with! Try to think about all the positives!

I once asked my oldest daughter what the best present she ever received is (she was 10-11 years old maybe when I asked), I had obviously meant a toy or something but she looked at me and at her sister who is 23 months younger and said “Caroline is the best gift you’ve given me. She’s my built in best friend.” For me every time it was hard to imagine life when each of children arrived even while heavily pregnant, but with all of them it’s been amazing. I hope that helps you. By the time my middle was 2-3 I was replaced as the center of both of my daughters’ worlds and they became each others. One is almost 12 and the other is almost 10 and they are still best friends and I found it very easy to give my love to both of them and my son who came along later.

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I have Irish twins. They’re 10.5 months apart. Best (mistake) decision we ever made.


It will be tough at first but so worth it😊
My first two are 16 months apart and they fight sometimes but are so close❤️

I felt like this when I had my son. I didn’t get enough time with daughter. She wasn’t even a year old when we found out baby number 2 was coming. But now they are really close. My daughter will go stay with grandma and my son asks where she is. So cute. It works out.

I felt the exact same way. My daughter is 23 months and her brother will be here any day. I look at it now as she’ll have someone to enjoy playtime with her and that they can always have a playmate that never has to leave.:woman_shrugging:t5::100:

It may cause u a lot of worry in the beginning…and some guilt. But they will probably become very close in the future! So relax and enjoy both of them while they are so small!

Literally felt the same way. The whole pregnancy. The only way I can explain it is, when you hold that new baby, you don’t make room in your heart for them. Your heart grows double in size to fill you with more love than you can imagine right now.

When the baby comes, remember they don’t neeeeed as much attention as you’d think. Give all your attention to the oldest while the baby sleeps. You’ll have plenty of time with them.

Perfectly normal, my daughter was already 11 years old when I had my son 4 weeks ago and after her having been alone and the center of my world for so long I felt completely guilty. But I’ve made an effort to set aside time just for her and to reassure her I’m still here. She’s older so obviously I can kind of explain things to her but in the end just make sure you set aside time for just the two of you even if it’s a simple bedtime story and it’ll help your guilt greatly.

Its confusing for everyone but if you make sure your eldest is included in every little thing, from helping change a nappy and tucking blanket around baby etc, all will be okay. Also, do girly time, just you 2. As long as eldest feels included and praised for her help, things should go quite smoothly.

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Just make sure you give her some one on one time to make sure she knows she’s just as important. My son will be 18 months when I have my next. I plan to do some one on one time with him so he doesn’t feel left out. Same with dad. Then also family time so he can learn to be with his brother and that we are all family. I do get nervous also because I don’t want him to feel left out or like I don’t care for him as much it scares me but I plan to do what I can to know he’s just as loved as always.

Make a big fuss that shes the big sister …let her help you. By getting nappies and wipes and always take time for just the two of you…sometimes you feel you cant love a second baby as much as the f I rst but you can it just happens…enjoy your children they grow so fast…


I did with mine. I searched for answers just like you. Most women said it’s normal and they will have an unbreakable bond. They are 3 and almost 2. It was all true. It is normal and they will love each so strongly. Mine fight, don’t get me wrong but they love harder. Don’t stress over it. I found that advice hard too. But take it.

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I felt a tremendous amount of guilt, I never thought I could love another the same way or as much as I did then the baby was born, I lent on the father but amazed myself on the equilibrium I felt, I loved true love for both it’s amazing what becoming a mother does no matter how many times over you become one, I am from 5 I always felt loved no more or less than my sisters by my mum, give yourself a break make the most of the little free time time you have good luck and please enjoy :wink: you are going to be a wonderful loving :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: mother xx :kissing_heart:

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I felt guilty off and on throughout my pregnancy. But in the end I wanted them to be close so they would have a friend to play with. I’m not a fan of siblings being so far apart. I planned on having them close and I did. They are 12 month 3 weeks apart both have birthday’s in july. I’m soooooo happy about it. Everything is done around the same time( potty trained around the same time). They play together and even when they fight they wont let anyone be mean or anything to the other one. Their best frends. Every mom I’ve talked to that has done the same thing says it’s difficult in the beginning but the best decision ever. Even from the beginning my husband and I have always done things like we each take a kid and do something with that kid by ourself so they are both getting individual time with us. When my oldest was 3 I took her to do Mickey’s not so scary Halloween party. My two year old stayed home with my husband and they did some special stuff at home. We video called at least twice a day while we were gone for the 2 days. My oldest vaguely remembers going and my youngest doesn’t even care when we talk about it. She talks about the fun time she had with dad, nana, and papa. As long as You do 1 on 1 time you won’t have guilt.

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Some people have kids 10 months a part. Trust me this is ok.

Normal everything will be ok

It’s normal to feel guilty. I felt awful my entire pregnancy, scared that my daughter would feel like I was replacing her, or that I wouldn’t have enough time for her anymore.
I just made it a point to take her for special one on one dates once the other one got old enough to leave, and we had special movie nights after I put baby to bed :slightly_smiling_face:

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Completely normal. My oldest is 8, little is 18 months and I still felt guilty for having another one even though she legit BEGGED me to have another baby.

I feel you. My son is 17 months old and I have a 3 week old. I felt the same and was scared how he’d react to another little being in the home and getting attention because my son is very spoiled and likes all attention being on him. The first week it was hard. I cried a lot because my son did because he didn’t understand but now we’re on week 3, he’s giving new baby kisses and taking interest in him so I’m hoping they grow up to be best friends.

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Totally normal! But once that baby is here you will see that you love them both! And she will love him too, which will make your heart explode lol :heart:

My daughter was 3 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. My daughter and son are now 13.5 months apart and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It was really hard for her to adjust, she didnt really play with him until he was around 1 year old. Mentally and physically having 2 littles so close in age was extremely difficult but I promise with time it gets easier! They’re now almost 5 and 6 and best buds! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Girl same…
I’m sure it’s normal and other people have felt like this too. For me it was the time that I wouldn’t have for her that got me (I was really busy at that point) so I made a plan/decisions that would be the best of both situations. I also implemented must do each day and I started with play at least 30 minutes quality time with her a day doing whatever she wanted to play (barbies), and read at least one book each night. Then when I had that down I would add another thing that she liked to the list. This helped me not feel so guilty anymore.

Your baby boy will be her best friend. My daughter is 19 months older then my son n they absolutely love each other :heart: don’t be nervous. You all will be great!!

Remember that you will know your first child in a whole new light as a big sister. The love you have for your children just grows and grows, there’s always plenty for everyone.

You will do wonderfully with 2 little best friends, who are super best friend siblings! Having 2 that close together creates a sibling bond like no other. You are a great mom! Don’t be surprised, in a few years, to hear them speak a secret language.

My oldest son was awesome helping me with his baby brother. They are really close as and are good play mates together.

Its completely normal. I was the same way when I got pregnant with my 2nd to the point I got depression from it because I was so worried and scared and upset. Honestly I had nothing to worry about in the end her older sister is her best friend she adjusted so well it was crazy to me that I worried myself sick over it.

I have a 15, 14, 13, yr old plus 2 more. Your overwhelmed at first and maybe with a little bit of guilt for fear of missing time with the oldest one. Once you have baby number 2 you will find you rythm that fits your needs and that includes bonding time with both. Dont be hard on yourself… Take both as a blessing and enjoy life. You will have great days and then you will have days that you feel like you havent slept in days lol. Melissa Trameis correct. It’s amazing and exhausting but its worth it.

I think it’s normal. Could be some kinda pregnancy depression. I would talk to your health care professional about it. I’m sure that everything will be fine.

My boys are 16 months apart. They are best friends but they do fight a lot ( boys). Thats normal. They are 6 and 7.Its gonna be great and exhausting!!! It’s worth it!!! :heart::heart::heart::heart:

Keep your knees together.


I felt the same way too. My little girl was only 6 weeks old when I found out I was pregnant and even though it was planned I still felt guilty, but they are 1 and 2 now and they are so close and have such an awesome relationship. Wouldn’t change it for the world :heart:
I just always make sure I take time to give them individual attention.

I felt super guilty too. Mine was 18 months when my youngest was born. But she did exceptionally well with the change! I included her in everything with baby. Changing, feeding, burping. She was proud to help! Don’t beat yourself up…they are 2 and 3 now and are best friends…and worst enemies lol they have a wonderful bond. It will all be ok :heart:

Yes my sons have 11 month between them and I felt awful towards my eldest but honestly the love just splits between the both of them as long as you get her involved and make time for just you and her still she won’t feel left out you’ll be surprised how well they will get on

I know the feeling. My son was the same age when I had my daughter and unfortunately I had post partum and my sadness made it very difficult for me to bond w my new baby and it didnt really start to happen until she was 2. That was hard to deal w so please try and not feel that way because it would of changed everything for me if I kbew😪 He is a blessing and she will warm up to him. Lol

I was the same way. My oldest was my world my everything. When we found out we were having another and my son was going to be 2 i felt heart broken. I felt like we didn’t get enough time. It was can my heart take another baby. Once our 2nd was born it was an adjustment but everything was good. We had alot of mommy and son time. Make sure baby brother buys her a gift. Let her know she is loved no matter what. Ask family to make the visit about her too. That was our major goal. Making sure our first knew he was still loved by everyone including my husband and myself.

My 2 middles are 6 days from being a year apart! I was worried about the same things to but my son managed very well with my daughters arrival. Only bad part was nursing 8 week early premie and chasing down a 1yr old! He got alot of attention from dad the first 2 months. Which helped I think. Than as they got older it was like twins. Trying to change diapers/potty training and what 1 didnt thinking the other did!! They kept us on our toes for a long time!

I mean…my sons almost 5 and he told my mom today he was scared I wouldn’t have time for him anymore :woman_shrugging:. I think it can be an adjustment for all kids. Just after baby is born and things settle, plan things to do with oldest so they do not feel forgotten. Or at least that’s what I’m hoping will work with me.

I had my boys close together and I still feel guilty to this day that I had them so close. Then I think if I didn’t I wouldn’t have my 2nd and he might not be, so I am grateful that I do as I love them with all my heart. This is one of the things you go through as a mum and is completely normal to feel.

Do the best you can, let it go, and just love them. That’s all they really need. Congratulations!

There is nothing to feel guilty about,having another baby is a great blessing,what you can do is include your daughter in as much as you can,when taking care of baby…


I feel this. My girls are 22 months apart and then my son will ne 2 next month and I’m also expecting and due in 2 weeks.

I felt the exact same way as my due date approached. My daughter was just 2 when my son was born. And though we planned for it I did feel a little guilty about not having enough one on one time with both of them. It was definitely an adjustment at the beginning especially for my daughter but now (10 months later) we agree it’s the best decision we made. They love each other, they play together - there is definitely moments of jealously - and there are times when I’m with one and the other needs me more… so there are some tears. It’s not easy being a mamma. At the end of the day I’m blessed and I’m happy that they are so close. You’ll make it work!

If you involve your daughter in the pregnancy, she may accept a new sibling better. Kids adapt to their environments…make it fun!! :heart:

It is so amazing how you can love every child and the love grows and grows feeling guilty will not make things easier so enjoy your family !

Don’t have kids that close together. But me and my brother are really close. Just a year apart. And I can say growing up there were times I probably wanted to (and tried) to kill him. He was always a pain in my butt. But he was also my best friend. Everywhere we went we went together. And yes there were times I wish it was just me. But I have so many memories of my brother being my best friend. And I’m grateful for that! :heart::blue_heart:

I felt the same way, my son and daughter are 10 months apart but let me tell you no matter how guilty you’re feeling your children will love you no matter what !!! They become the best of friends and the love they have for each other will take away all the doubts you’re having !! :yellow_heart:

I’m due in a week and let me assure you that I’m feeling the same way and my older twin boys are 12 years old. I don’t think it’s the age gap as much as feeling you’re taking away from them in one way or another. Maybe it’s a mom guilt that we may not give them the attention they need or the love they deserve with another one to share us with.

Mine are 18 months and 1 day apart. The first 2 years are tricky, then the flo is good.

My Dad always said that he wished he and his brother were closer in age. Due to the age difference he didn’t feel that his brother was a playmate. Why my brother and I are only 16 months apart, on purpose.

This is exactly my thought process right now. I’m due in 3 weeks with my son and have a 2 year old daughter.

My son was about 21 months old when my daughter was born, and once she was here and I saw how much he adored her and always wanted to help with anything having to do with her, I never felt a single bit of guilt. They’ve grown up being each other’s best friends and that’s so important that they have someone almost constantly that they can be close to and form a friendship with. You’ll still get time with both of them, especially if you have a good support system around you.

My son turned one years old and the next month my daughter was born. I didn’t feel guilty and I was actually happy they were so close together. The bond they have is amazing. Just give it some time