My daughter will be 19 months, and we’re struggling to find childcare for her as I go back to work as a teacher. What I mean by struggling is my mom is still working- stepdad doesn’t want to keep her more than two days in a row, and my in-laws are older and don’t watch her that well- dad is a nurse who works nights/sleeps during the day. We’re out of options. So we’re turning to daycare- she’ll start next week at three days and then the next week goes every day onward. I feel guilty and sad. She’s going to daycare. I’m scared for her. There’s no reason to be; she’s not scared or sad- she doesn’t even know yet. I even know another mom who takes both her baby and toddler there- I should be at ease, but I’m not. Please share advice to make the transition easier for both of us.
Itll honestly be harder for you than her. I know theres horror stories about daycares, but most daycare providers love their kids. We put my daughter in daycare when she was younger-not for needing care- but to build social skills and be around other kids.
Yes. It’s tough. I cried. I felt like none can care for her better than myself. Also, so many kids they have to look after, she wouldn’t get enough one on one attention. She did okay though. They took great care of her, she is a happy and healthy 8 year old.
I’d recommend paying extra for a good educational based childcare, if you can cough up the extra. Get yourself a nanny. Unfortunately at the time, I couldn’t afford it. Or I would have.
You’ll get through it.
Thankfully shes 18 months and not 6 weeks old, that is even harder, emotionally.
Daycares can be amazing places. It’s difficult, but think of the positive. She gets to learn how to properly socialize and she gets to meet new people and try new things.
She will love daycare! They do so much with the kids. I use to work at a few daycares and kids always enjoyed coming. I understand your worries. She will be ok
I’m a preschool/daycare teacher. We have had a lot of extra cleaning added for the current situation. If thats the worry I promise everyone in my network is taking this very seriously concerning kids health.
If its daycare in general, don’t let the bad stories scare you off. I love each of my kids in my class like they’re my own while they’re in my class. She will probably cry but know she will most likely cry about 10 minutes before her teachers get her occupied with something else. Do your due diligence when selecting a center.
Remember how you handle it is how she will handle it. When you drop off quick hug and kiss and tell her how great her day is going to be and you can’t wait to hear about it. No “im going to miss you”, “dont miss me too much” etc. Stay very positive. The quicker and more positive the easier for her it’ll be. She will have so much fun.
Call your daycare ask them their safety protocols and ask any concerns you have. It made me feel so much better. To know he was safe. i had to take my 2 year old back and I felt so Guilty. Now he’s asks to go and gets so excited when we get there.
I’m homeschooling because of Covid. My child is not at risk. Not worth it.
My daughter LOVES daycare. The decision was definitely harder for me than it was for her.
Check the place out, ask questions, and If possible, randomly stop in occasionally just to make sure everything is safe.
Then, speak of it positively to her…if she believes you think it’s great, she will too
I promise she will love it. Might take a couple days to adjust, but she will end up liking it.
Daycare is awesome! My baby is 18 months and has been going since about 4 months. She absolutely loves it. You being a teacher should know children need social interaction with their peers. I think it’s us parents who feel guilty. Just make sure to do a walk through and do monthly inspections. My daycare has camera so we can see what our kids are doing at all times.
My youngest has been in daycare since 8 weeks old. I was scared but he’s two now best decision I made for him he’s around kids his age all day he knows his ABC and counts to 20 he shares its good practice for school. His sister’s r so much older than him that at home he has no one to play with and I can’t quit my nursing job to stay home. Dad runs a grocery store so daycare is our only option but it was a good choice
Day cares can be brilliant and the develop their skills and confidence. It will be hard for you to leave her at the start but the more you get used to it the easier it becomes. Hope everything goes well x
It be good for her. Think bout the benefits of her going to daycare she gets to socialise and be with people her age group , she will be fine and will settle in well. Think bout what is best for her in the long run 
I know it hard separating from your kid after been with them 24/7 but it good for them and yourself
Leave your teaching job. Find another that allows you to work from home.
I felt the same way you did at first. Especially going BACK after quarantine when she became so used to being home with me all day. I try and look at all the positives! She gets to spend the day with friends, and doing fun things like finger painting and playing on the playground! She’s becoming very social which is so good for her in the future to make friends. And this seems silly but it’s building her immune system!
It will be hard. I promise it will get easier. My 15 months old has been going since she was 8 weeks (with a almost three month break in between due to COVID) and when we pull up every morning she gets SO excited and walks in on her own and waving good bye on the way!
Check Christian Child Care at Methodist church Greenville
I honestly dont know what to say bc I didn’t shed one tear when I brought my oldest one to daycare for the first time I was happy
She will enjoy being w the other children!!
We do a little in-home and it’s wonderful! Don’t feel guilty! My daughter loves going.
Gradual entry is the key. First time, go there and stay with her for an hour then leave together. Second time, go there and spend 15 minutes with her, then leave her there for an hour. Third time, leave her there for 1-2 hours. Fourth and fifth time leave her there for 4 hours. Then she should be completely transitioned to daycare. It’s important to never sneak out. Always say goodbye and leave . It is normal for her to get upset when you leave but just give her a quick hug and tell her you will be back to pick her up later and leave. It doesn’t take long for them to stop being upset. Usually within 5 minutes they are happily playing with other children.
It will be harder on you than her.
My best advice, both as a mom and as a former daycare worker, is that you make a quick goodbye when you drop her off. Don’t stand around watching, it at least not where she can see you.
She may cry for the few times, and that’s ok. You may cry, and that’s ok, but don’t do it in front of her.
Take her to visit a few times before you leave her the first time, then talk about it! Hype her up!
I put my daughter in a state-registered home daycare. Much more of a home environment and much less kids. It was the best decision
Im taking a paycut from working full time as a nurse and going to part time so I can homeschool my kids and care for them.This is a tough time. I would avoid sending your child anywhere public right now. Try to join care.com, online group to find an in your home caregiver. Might be more pricey, but better pricey than sick or worse. So much respect for teachers right now.
I work at school too and struggling with it. I started my youngest early and we did it slowly he would stay till lunch. I feel lot better now. The daycare takes good care of him. Now to just worry about me and my 2 that will be back at school.
She will have other children interactions and she will be learning! My daycare updates me of pictures of my daughter all day so it makes me feel better! She is speaking full sentences since she has been in daycare and they are potty training! It will be ok dont worry!
Mine was 18 months when she started daycare and I cried the first time I left her there and checked on her often and she enjoyed playing with the other kids and did perfectly fine. 2 years later the kids at her daycare and her are best friends and she wants to go even when I’m off work
I owned a daycare for over 30 years and there are so many benefits (if you have the right one) take a breath momma-it’s going to be fine!
She’ll probably love getting to play with the others. My nephew goes to daycare and loves it. He’s made a bunch of friends. I know it’s nerve-wracking leaving your child in someone else’s care, but just make sure you feel confident in the caregiver you’ve chosen.
Me and my fiancé worked it out he works all day long and I work nights so I’m home with kids during the day, I don’t get much sleep but we do not trust any child care, i understand nursing may be a tough job, but I think he should step up and not sleep all day, I hope things work out for you
You need to be excited, happy and hide your stress…make your child see that you are okay with this and she will be okay with it…if she/he senses your anxiety it will be harder for both of you…kiss and hug, have fun…see you in a little bit!! And walk away…trust your daycare to help them adjust quickly, they are trained for this and if you picked a quality school, you will both be fine!
You are gonna cry. I cried everyday for a week because i had been a stay at home mom for the first 10 months until my husband was laid off. It was hard, but eventually she loved it. Just pay attention to the signs. If your child hates it and has separation anxiety, the may be something wrong. That happened with my daughter. Her teacher was changed and she started hating daycare. She wasn’t being changed, the teacher was pulling her hair. When i found a new daycare she was back to loving it and didn’t even want to go home when I picked her up
Also i did not cry in front of my daughter. I would tell her she was gonna have so much fun. Then go to the car and cry
Its never easy. I am a parent and I child care provider. It will be hard there will be tears but as everyone gets used to the new routine it will become easier. As you and your children form a trusted bond w your caregivers it will feel like a second home. The kids will be happy to go and play and learn and you can work . There still may be hard drop offs but thats normal, they love you the most and leaving you is hard. But, if you have a great child care provider who loves their children at work as much as me and my coworkers do it will make it alot easier. Check in call, communication is key. It takes about 3 weeks to fulky adjust but if it foesnt feel right at any moment, you as a mom know what you have to do. Change is so hard.
Take her to Kidville in Grantsville they are really good my little granddaughter was a preemie and they are excellent she’s still there they teach them as well as babysit
My daughter started daycare when she turned 3 and the mornings were tough when I dropped her off because she cried for months but only for a little while each day. When I picked her up each day she was always singing a new song or showing me her artwork. Your daughter will learn so much and play even more. The biggest adjustment for me was dealing with her getting sick so often with colds or short term fevers since she was being exposed to so many germs so be prepared for that. Kids are very perceptive so do your best to be positive about this new adventure and you both will be just fine.
I see it as the best thing I could have done for my girls, they get to miss with other children go to playgrouos and days out. We worry a lot more than they do. To begin with i found it difficult but when you see how your chikd starts to develop and gain confidence its wonderful x
These feelings are normal. You all are doing what you can with what you have. The only advise I have is to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel your feelings. Find assurance in the littles are so flexible and will benefit from day care. Plus you’re gonna love seeing how she lights you when you pick her up at the end of the day 
I remember when I dropped mine off for the first time. I cried more than her. After about a week I realized that I liked that hour it took me to get from school to the daycare. I got some me time. I had a friend from class who I would chat with, sometimes I got a nap in. They are 14yrs old and I still have everything they made that first year! It’s also good for their development. They learn social skills that you just can’t teach as a parent. Good luck .
Mom guilt is a real thing. I sent both my kids to daycare and it was the most freeing thing I did. I had steady reliable childcare that I could count on. Before that I was watching my child instead of sleeping after working night shift and relying on the niceness of my family when they felt like it. Give up the guilt and look at it like a chance for her to play with other kids and give you some time you need. Good luck.
I’m wondering if your feeling this way because of coved or because your going back to work, or is there some other reason why your feeling this way?
I guess what I’m getting at is pinpointing why your feeling this way may help you to understand yourself better. I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid, because they are.
I don’t know if this helps any.
I’m pretty sure every mom who has a kid in daycare felt/feels the same way. It’s so hard and you kind of feel like you let them down. It’s going to be rough for a while (she may cry EVERY time you get in the car or drop her off), but it WILL get better as it becomes her new normal. I cried every day I dropped off my daughter until she stopped crying, too. It’s totally normal to feel that way! But I she will do great 
I was a preschool teacher for over a decade, honestly they way I looked at it was the kiddos had so many experience that are difficult to provide at home. I have been a sahm with my 4 and 5 year old, and while I love it and feel very fortunate, I sometimes feel as if they are missing out some of the relationships kids build when away from mom and dad. But, even knowing that I imagine I would still be struggling. I hope it all works out!
I felt the same way with my son who has special needs, I’m also a teacher. He has THE BEST time at daycare! It’s constant stimulation and I love seeing what he learns everyday! It makes our time together more special!
In Britain lots of mums send children to daycare. Dont go overboard on gifts because you feel guilty. Just make the most of your time together.
You’re gonna cry. Just like the first day of school. I wouldnt change anything about mine going to daycare. They got so much more interaction and socialization. They had field trips and career days. They got to meet policemen and firemen. They got to experience way more with daycare than if my mom had just kept her. Babies gotta grow up sometime…welcome to the first step of many. It will be ok. Stay strong.
Every mom feels this.
I felt it before I sent my son into daycare but i needed to so i could work and I’m a single mom. I cried like a baby and was scared for him.
My son is 3 and hes benefiting from going, hes learning social skills, his speech has improved amazingly and hes around kids his age.
I’m a grandparent, o wasn’t in keen on my two grandchildren spending time in child care, but they both bloosomed, mixing with other children is good for them. They do have to odd down day, but overall they enjoy. Choose wisely tho. All the best
If you are able, spend a few hours with her there next week. Once you see how well she’s taken care of, it will ease your worries. Good luck, mama. We’ve all been there.
I could never do it. Me and my husband always found work with opposite shifts so one of us is always home with the kids. Mostly just because we could never afford the amount of having someone watch your kid and partially because i could never trust someone that i dont know to watch them. Now that my kids are in school we both work the same shift and things are alot better but I’m happy that my kids never went to daycare. Everyone has there own choice but this was my decision. I would try it if you guys can’t work opposite shifts and then if you still don’t feel comfortable after a few weeks see if you or your husband can do something else?
Its gonna be hard on you and her. Mine cried the moment she saw the building and the teacher would just rip her from my arms. I’d mark her diapers before she leaves the house and write what time you put it on. This will ensure shes being changed and if she gets more diaper rashes, pay attention to it. Also, talk to the other parents (unfortunately by doing so, we discovered a LOT of issues). Buy her a new stuffy to snuggle with at school. Mine clung to the new stuffy while she was at school.
With family spread out (My Dad is closest, and still over an hours drive away), we had no choice, but to be honest, it was the best thing for her. She started at 9 months. Talk to the centre director, see if you can get a couple settle sessions. We had a few before doing an actual drop off, so we would take her to the room, stay a few mins make sure she was settled, then leave the room and just go sit. We would stay at the centre for an hour or so, could check in on her (knowing if she saw us it was time to go), and the staff would come let us know if she just wasn’t settling. Was a great way to ease into it.
Our daughter got SOOO much out of daycare. She is far more outgoing and socially confident than I ever was (or could teach her to be). Maybe she would be anyway, but daycare has certainly aided her development.
We’re about to have our 2nd, and will aim for similar. It just worked so well for us. Wouldn’t change a thingﾆ
Ask if they can maybe share pictures of her with you every once in awhile. It does get easier and but they are better off socially and they seem to learn things quicker. I look forward to my weekends more now because I get to spend time with them.
Daycare can be great for toddlers. My girl is 16 mos and she loves her little friends, they play and she runs into the room each morning and hugs them. 
if you chose a good center/ preschool you are doing them a favor bc they are getting social skills that you would struggle to fulfill on your own. She knows so many songs and dances, her body parts, so many words, and craft projects. We painted this morning and she knew exactly what to do bc she does it at daycare. It’s hard at first but it’s actually good for them.
My daughter always loved daycare and that turned into her loving school. I had no problem with her at all. One thing I learned from leaving my son at school though is to drop them off and leave as fast as you can. The more you linger the harder it gets, especially if they start crying. They will be fine once you leave.
She will love going and playing with all the new friends she will make.
Don’t feel bad…im a daycare teacher in the baby room and we take great care of the infants…i love them like they are my own.
It can be hard to send you a little one to daycare but usually it’s the parents who struggle more. I was a stay-at-home mom with my daughter every day until she was 3 and went to preschool, they said she cried for maybe a few minutes and then was fine. some things that help was that they had a drop in policy where I was allowed to stop by anytime I wanted to see her, which gave me peace of mind that she would be looked after. Also instead of choosing Head start or home daycare option I picked a really nice Montessori which helped me feel like she was getting the best experience. She is 9 , very sweet smart and well-adjusted and gets frequent academic awards in school. She has never been hurt or abused by a caregiver.
Currently I’m pregnant and I work full-time as a caregiver for children with disabilities and dad works two jobs as a bounty hunter and professional artist so we have to choose daycare. Not everyone has family available to watch the little ones.
If u stayed close by I would be more than happy to help I’m a stay at home mom with twins that are 2
Im about to be going thru the same thing. Putting my 1 yr old in daycare because both my wife and I work full time and we are out of options. I dont want to do it either but this is life sometimes
Your gonna cry which an experienced caregiver will understand. If they have cameras get the service until your more comfortable. Call at your breaks and check in. Everywhere I’ve worked as a provider was willing to give updates. Make sure if your child has a lovey or pacifier you send it so they are more comfortable. Try to be open and communicate any concerns or any expectations with the caregiver.
All three of my kids go and they love it. It gives them the time to be around other people the sane age as them. Mine are 5 3 and 1 year olds.
I couldnt do it I stayed home and did daycare myself so I could be home
Mom guilt is the worst guilt. Do the best you can and give yourself a break babe! You’re taking care of your baby and that’s enough. 
I would be more worried about the fact that your husband isn’t willing to help you for more than 2 times a week 
Observe the staff,placement of things,background.see if any complaints have been made etc.Dont just go by someones word.
Should have thought of that before your start having children simples
I worked in a nursery (UK) so its all slightly different. I ended up being a stay at home mum! There are loads of reasons for that. All id say is do your research. Have a settling in period/ visits and go from that. Some kids love daycare some dont. Never sneak away even if she is happy playing. Always say goodbye especially if she cries. They will trust you going and coming back if its clear to them. Sneaking away only leaves them with doubt. If you know other kids that go there and they are happy there thats a good sign. Is it a worry about the daycare situation or just leaving her in general?
stepdad? If he aint wanting to keep her then leave him. Dont be with a man who wont see your child as his own.
Dont have an easy answer for you. But kim Iverson had an interesting thought.
Hi. I had to take my daughters to childcare at 3.5 months of age because we’re only given 4 months of paid maternity leave here (and the last month is at minimum wage). We couldn’t make ends meet without me going back to work. It was the best thing we could do! My kids learned so much from there! They got to work on their social skills and make friends and play all morning. Then I would pick them up straight after work and spend most of the afternoon and all evening with them.
Granted, I haven’t sent them during Covid, and they’re supposed to be starting school in October (here they go into kinder 1 at the age of 3). However, that aside, my kids loved it.
It’s normal. 1st day of daycare is harder for moms. No one talks about it, but it is.
You have to do it, and it will be good for her.
If you can not work the first day she goes, that’s all the better.
You need to let her stay for at least 5 hours.
But you can take the day, watch the cameras, cry, take a short nap, and help yourself get over the first day fears, you’ll be alright
My husband and i both work full time, my oldest (4) has been going to daycare sinxe she was 1 and mu youngest (1 1/2) has been going to daycare sincr she was 6months. I still feel bad sometimes when I drop them off, wishing I could spend every day with them. But I just learn to appreciate the time i get with them because i know i have to work for my family and for my husband. It gets easier, do what’s best for you and your family.
Follow your gut feeling 
I was hesitant too. I put her in at 18 months so i can sleep during the day as I was put on nights. She loves it. She’s learning, has friends, and different toys to play with then she does at home. I’m telling you, it is good for them to get different learning expeirences in. I was the same. But im a believer now. It’s just expensive.
It’s normal to feel that way just make sure you check the daycare out. See how they interact with the kids ECT… and go with your gut feeling if it doesn’t feel right go look for another daycare until you feel comfortable.
It is hard when my daughter went back to work she changed to 2 long days a week and I had the children for half a day so it helped a bit with costs I don’t know if it’s an option for you but I know as a grandparent a half a day isn’t a problem it is hard for us oldies to have them all day but I have no problem having them from 1-6
Hugs! I had a hard time myself putting my 3 month old at the time in daycare. It was so scary and i had so many different emotions I experienced. The daycare was wonderful with her and it did get easier over time. It’s ok to feel mixed emotions. It will get easier as time goes on. Sending you prayers and hugs mama!
My baby has been going to a daycare since she was a year old and they have taught her so much! I still check in during the days and she’s now 3 1/2. It was hard. My nana and my best friend had been watching her but it benefited my daughter by going to a daycare to be able to learn more 
it’ll be okay momma
Sometimes kids have much richer experiences in daycare…exposure to other children with different temperaments and personalities, sometimes disabilities. Many daycare programs are a LOT more than glorified babysitters. Kids learn daily life skills, go on field trips, have educational experiences, arts & crafts, music, civic involvement (making things for nursing home residents, for example), outdoor adventures.
My children were Raised in daycare!! I attribute some of their best social abilities for having Been in daycare! I did NOT have a Choice!! Yes, they had colds, otitis media’s, & oral thrush. One did Not miss ONE day from 1st grade thru Graduation!! The 2nd missed due to appendicitis. In high school. Maybe nurse should Consider Another shift or Location to work!!!
You and yr daughter will be fine. This is always harder on Moms. Your daughter will love going there with all the other kids. It will be a great experience for her!!!
Daycare Teacher here! I know it’s hard momma! The biggest suggestion I have is to make sure you establish a very open relationship and line of communication with your child’s teachers when choosing a care facility. I’ve worked at large daycare facilities and small ones, i much rather prefer small daycare. It is much more personable and “family” feeling. I truly love each child as if they are my own! The bond your child will make with their teacher and other children will be very rewarding! Daycare runs on a set schedule which is great to help eliminate so many transitions throughout the day. The children know what to expect at each moment of the day-no surprises, being confused as to what comes next, etc. This helps children to feel safe and comfortable in their learning environment. Children thrive on play with peers (especially at such a young age). This is how they learn! They learn play skills, language skills, and environmental skills. I typically send daily updates to parents such as pictures throughout the day, how their day is going, what we have planned for the day as far as arts and crafts, activities, etc. I want all parents to know their children are well taken care of. Daycare teachers spend 8+ hours with your child each day throughout the week and I can’t stress enough how important it is for your child to feel welcome, safe, and loved.
One benefit of daycare is the interaction the kids get with other kids similar in age. They learn so much-social skills, physical skills, etc. AND Bonus to not having family as daycare is now they can just be family and maybe more willing to help you out and give you a much needed break from time to time.
I have 4 kids, and starting or switching daycare is usually harder on us parents than it is the kids. It will all work out! 