I feel like a terrible aunt because I don't want to babysit: Advice?

I feel like I’m a terrible aunt because I don’t do well with the baby years. My brothers have children under the age of one, and I feel terrible because I don’t wanna babysit for them. I’m not a big baby person. I have older nieces and nephews I do perfectly fine with and will watch at any time. I have a son of my own and decided after him I didn’t want anymore for a reason I don’t wanna deal with a baby again. I guess I wouldn’t feel so bad, but as far as family goes, it’s just my siblings and me for each other. I feel obligated to watch the babies when they ask for the simple reason that I know there aren’t many other people they have to help out. I don’t mind so much if it’s just an hour or two, but most times, it’s at least 8 hours or so. Has anyone ever felt like this? My brothers know the reason I decided to have no more kids myself. I hate telling them no, but I feel like I might start needing to.


Do you get paid for your services babysitting start charging the Rate per hour

Nothing wrong with that I feel the same way, babies are demanding on your time and when they are somebody else’s you worry something’s going to happen it’s very stressful watching small babies every second and can be draining on you physically and mentally, people who have children don’t understand. I’m good with kids once they are walking and talking little babies crying make me feel quite upset. Plus if you have your own children you have enough on your hands

Just cause your an aunt doesn’t mean your obligated to babysit


Yes! Going thru it now with live in Grandchildren!

You dont have to justify your choices family or not. I understand where your coming from. Don’t feel bad for not wanting to do something. It not your child at the end of the day, the parents will get over you saying no. Personally id rather you told me you didn’t want to look after my baby then force yourself to look after a baby. I respect you opinion and choices and if your family love you they will to. At the end of the day the baby isn’t yours so you shouldn’t feel guilty for anything. Nothing wrong with your feelings.

Just get it all out and tell them when the kid is a certain age you will be glad to so they stop bugging you lol


I love babies, I have 5. I still dislike watching other people’s babies and unless it’s an emergency situation, I refuse to watch them.

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Honey, You are a normal human being. My nephew has the same age as my son and I don’t babysit him unless is an emergency. I can handle my son, no other kids.

I have new grands and had a stroke last yr.I cant pick up or walk w them.so I say better be safe…i did all the others and im sure Mom felt the pince.

If you don’t want to don’t. If kids aren’t your calling then they aren’t. Do what you are good at

The world seems to think that we as women should love babies and kids and want our own and be around everyone elses…WRONG!!! You should not feel obligated to watch your infant nieces or nephews just because they are family!!! I raised two handsome boys and now that they are grown I dont like being around little kids anymore!!! Babies and infants are cute as long as they stay away from me!!! Explain to them how you feel and hopefully being your siblings they should be understanding!!!


A you are not terrible.

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don’t feel bad. being an auntie is not about babysitting.
do as much as you can in other areas that you feel good in

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I feel the same way. An hour or two are okay. Do you have a friend you can invite over to help you?

That is well within your right but remember at any point in time your brother can say no if you need a babysitter

Be honest! Tell them that you don’t mind occasionally for two hours but that you don’t feel comfortable watching them for long periods of time (unless it’s a true emergency). If you continue to watch them without wanting to you will grow to resent babysitting at all.


I tell people that if it’s a baby baby then no but if they are older then ye

I used to babysit my nieces and nephews at one point it was a summer job to me and they were good kids for the most part bt I was comfortable with telling them no when it was needed or sit them aside on time outs I love them I most times enjoyed it bt that was long ago nowadays u cant tell kids NO with out feeling like the parents will be mad at you or something, I other words parents are too sensitive with their kids not like before, I don’t have kids of my own and I dont think I would have the patience to do that today, so I would tell my sibling I can watch your child for cuple hrs here and there bt just tell them that 8 hrs is a bit much for you and u find it tiring

I have 2 grandchildren. They are now almost grown. But I never babysat. Not once. My son and I have always had a difficult relationship. My second son will never have kids. And my almost 29 year old daughter isn’t married; and doesn’t know if she wants kids. But if she did I would love to occasionally sit with her children. But I’m NOT a big small-children person. Don’t feel bad. Just inform them ahead of time; that unless it’s an emergency, you really don’t want to do it.

Did they babysit for you when your son was a baby? That is important.If not then it’s perfectly acceptable to say more than a couple of hours is too much until they are older…If they did do it for you then suck it up they’ll be older soon🤷

Don’t feel bad at all… I have non that loved to drop there kids off to party… I had to tell them NO because they didn’t care about my time. They were just using me…

8 hours + seems a long time, more like a work day , than a couple of hours errand

I guess it depends on why you’re watching the baby… if they’re going out to have fun, I can see saying something… but you just said that you siblings only have each other… :disappointed: I know it sucks, but suck it up… that’s your brother, that’s your family. Brothers and sisters are supposed to have each other’s back for life… even the not so fun stuff. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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It’s about freewill. You don’t want to babysit then don’t. It’s pretty simple.

Don’t do it, even if your parents were there it wouldn’t be their responsibility either, why do we always feel obligated to do something we are not enjoying doing, even if they babysit for you before, not your responsibility and they know you are not comfortable with babies, do they care? nope if they keep asking you to babysit,

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I have no problem saying no. If you need an out talk about your co-worker having pink eye or your sons school having lice. Friends try to get me to hold there baby and my go to is “oh no I have a slight cold” and watch them recoil with a protective arm wrapped around their baby.
Yup. I am all for straight up lying to not hold a baby. Then I don’t have to make it all awkward.

You have no obligation to anyone’s child other than your own - family or not. Everyone in my family knows I am not a kid person and for that reason, seldom will they ask me to babysit unless it’s an emergency or something quick. They respect the fact that I don’t have the patience it takes to deal with babies. I sure the hell wouldn’t leave my child with a person who doesnt have patience for kids for 8 hours, it’s not fair to the person or the child.

Tell them what you wrote here… That’s it.

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I say, suck it up!!! If you know they don’t have many other options and they know why you don’t like babies and they are still coming to you, it must be important. It’s hard to never be able to get away for the kids for a while. I’m not saying every Saturday night but once in a while. Maybe you could talk to them and come up with a time frame, say, you keep the kid once every 30 or 60 days or something.

No, don’t do it, :point_right: too much stuff happens. Trouble

And go thru this bullshit certainly NOT​:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Hi. I hv 3 nieces and 6 nephews. I adore kids. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Kids are a full time job. Yes a few hours maybe. All night…that is taking advantage. Unless it is an emergency. I am in a similar situation…just older kids. They expect & demand…never ask or on time to pick them up…not worth the headache. DNH2 do it!!

Tell them the truth. You don’t mind for a couple of hours but anything longer than that you feel uncomfortable. Maybe when the baby gets older. If they love you then they should respect your feelings also.

It’s a two letter answer.

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO BASICALLY RAISE THEIR YOUNG ONES! Learn to say no. They may get mad, but at the end of the day it’s not your responsibility. I have family like this. They’ll cuss you out, call you names, block and unblock you, AND MORE! DON’T LET TOXIC PEOPLE GUILT YOU!


Saying no is completely ok!!!

No reason to feel bad at all

You don’t have to and don’t feel bad about it. I have two of my own and I will not watch anyone else’s children. I don’t care how old they are. 🤷

You’re not a horrible Aunt. Don’t worry about what others say. You do not have to do what you do not want to do. If people get mad well that’s their problem.


Just say no :woman_shrugging:t3: my sister doesnt have kids of her own and she can’t handle my 3 kids for very long… (all under 5). Now my aunt takes them all the time and she has no kids of her own… its your choice just cause your siblings had kids dosen’t mean you should automatically have to baby sit. Same with grandparents…


Always do what’s best for yourself first! I totally understand though momma. I feel the same way. It’s hard for me to deal with children not my own. I say yes to the babysitting of nieces/nephews if I mentally can. If I know I’ll be too annoyed I simply say no sorry.

Lol are you serious? It’s not your obligation don’t feel bad!

Who says you have to?

You are not obligated to take care of anyone’s child. It doesn’t matter if they’re family or not. Just tell them that you don’t feel comfortable taking care of them and that’s it. And please know that you not being a baby person does not at all make you a bad person.


Are you a horrible person? No. Are you a bad aunt? Not exactly.

I get where you’re coming from and no you’re under no obligation to watch someone else’s children.
But they may feel hurt and like you favored your other nieces and nephews.
My family was really excited and involved with my oldest. But it really wasn’t the same with my youngest. I feel like he doesn’t get as much attention as my oldest did (and still does) and i hurt for him because i know how it feels.

I am NOT saying that’s what you’re doing but i would make sure to try to do something that shows that you love the babies too

Saying no is ok!
I have no idea how you’re feeling because I friggen love babies :joy: but your feelings are valid and matter!

Tell them you won’t watch their babies past a certain amount of hours! Don’t feel bad. My sister was the same way until they got a bit older :slightly_smiling_face:

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I think its great your wanting to be there for your family. I wish i had that village type retaionship with my family.
In saying that you have to keep your self sane too lol. Saying no sometimes is okay. But if you and your siblings are all you have and they are decent people being there for them is great. But remember to keep yourself sane too.

This is me. My sister knows. I couldn’t wait for mine to not be a baby.

You are totally not obligated to watch anyone’s kids ever, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. However if it is truly needed be there for them. My sister and her husband work 50+ hours a week and I watch her kids frequently because her pool of sitters is small and daycare would almost literally bankrupt them. She understands and is awesome about it when I really cannot watch them. Even if it’s just because I’m tired, but it sounds like you’re brothers need you, so I would try to be there for the when YOU ARE ABLE.

My brother hates kids all together so I know he will never watch mine at any point. Not his fault. Saying no is fine. Not your responsibility.

Just explain and say your only comfortable with a couple hours.

I wouldn’t feel bad and they shouldn’t make you feel bad.

Tell them ok, but only for a couple of hours.

It doesn’t make you a horrible aunt at all! My brother isn’t 100% comfortable with babies or toddlers, and has only recently started to be comfortable with the idea of driving with my 4 and 6 year old in his car. I don’t hold it against him at all. Some people just aren’t ‘baby’ kids. (plus I plan to milk it for all its worth when they’re older and can communicate effectively with him muahaha)
It doesn’t make you a terrible aunt or person to not want to have that responsibility or stress.

You’re not horrible
My own mother barely has our youngest because he’s still so little and it stresses her out (And we have many siblings so not like she doesn’t know what to do, she just chooses not to)
She’s had him I think twice? And he’s almost 3.
There’s nothing wrong with not being ready to babysit a young baby. It’s not for everyone.
Me personally I love looking after other people’s babies as well as my own haha
But I totally understand that others aren’t like that.
Don’t beat yourself up. I’m sure once they’re older and you feel more comfortable and confident in looking after them you will, just as you do with your other nieces and nephews x

Personally I would not want someone to watch my kids if they weren’t comfortable doing so. So I think the best thing you can do is be honest and make your boundaries known. If youre not comfortable watching little babies like that’s ok. You’re not obligated and your siblings probably know this and understand it so don’t beat yourself up

Well you dont have to but also it depends on how many people they can really trust with a baby in thier live also . Babys can talk and say something is wrong so that’s possible why they trust you most . It’s hard to relax or get stuff done when your worried abt your kids . So you can say no but realize it may be a trust safety issue .

I don’t babysit either-when I was growing up was 5 of us kids-had to watch and fool with them 24/7 and I said never again

My brother can’t do baby stuff. He knows how to kick a ball around with him but when he was born. He was afraid to hold him or anything. Now he’s 3, and still thinks he’s a baby who will break if he touches him. I managed to take 1 pic of him lol

You’re not obligated to babysit. I never ask my brothers to babysit my baby, only my parents who have expressed a lot of interest in getting to have more time with her.

I’m the opposite :tipping_hand_woman:t2:I love babies/toddlers when they are older they seem so much smarter these days :woman_facepalming:t2::joy:and smarter then this :older_woman:t2: old lady

Honestly your not the only person that feels that way! Both my sisters and brother in-law love their nephew however none of then will babysit, the main reason is not one of them can change an diaper lol

I have my own kids but i don’t wanna care for others. Don’t feel bad. I wouldn’t leave my kid with someone who isn’t comfortable with it. That’s just part of having kids, they’re YOUR responsibility so don’t feel obligated to babysit since they’re family.

Say no :woman_shrugging:t3: but still be in the children lives no one visited me besides once when my son was newborn n it hurts to see people wanting to be in my nephews life n see him n do stuff with him but not my son

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It’s really up to you, but when they’re babies that’s when parents need a break. I never babysat for my sister and then when I finally had kids, I felt awful for never making things a little easier for her. She NEVER turned me down on babysitting my daughter. Not once.

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If you don’t wanna watch a baby don’t watch a baby even if it is family. I watched my sisters baby over the weekend once I told her never again. I would watch him for a few hours but never overnight until he was older.

Don’t feel bad. There are many other people who don’t want to babysit babies. I get overwhelmed too sometimes with babies for a long period of time that aren’t mine, even toddlers for that matter. Its your choice. Just flat out tell them and if this upsets them it has nothing to do with you so don’t worry yourself too much. If you can handle a few hours just tell them that’s what you’re comfortable with.

Just look at it like it’s bond building time for when they are a bit older. As long as it’s not all the time.

I love my kids but I really don’t like caring for other people’s. It’s not that I don’t like other people’s kids but it upsets our routine when we add other children. In an emergency or for a short period I don’t mind but it’s not something I want to do regularly.

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Tell them you are willing to take them overnight when they will mostly sleep (if that’s OK with you), and will be happy to spend time with the kids when they’re older (age ??), but tell them you just aren’t equipped to care for babies. They can find sitters on Care.com, or tap other friends & family members to sit for them.

You have been very honest. That’s all you need to say and they should be happy with that. There is a lot to be said for Aunt of older kids.