I am a single mother of two little girls (4 and 1). I love my kids more than anything, but sometimes I get so frustrated with them when I have things to do around the house, and they are just very clingy. I find myself getting angry, and sometimes I yell at them for the smallest of things. I always apologize, but they are so young, I know they don’t understand, and I feel like a terrible mother. I don’t ever be physical with them when I have these moments…my four-year-old will only ever get a small tap on her butt or her hand when warranted, but am I a terrible mother for having moments where I just want them to behave and sit still so I can just mop a floor or do some laundry? Criticisms recommended, please.
Haha that’s motherhood. You are not the only one who does this! We are human🖤 try and cut yourself some slack momma
We are only human I’m sure every mother has one of these days . Your not alone . Your doing an awesome job mama keep on keeping on .
Find activities for your kiddo to do. It might work for 10 minutes, but keep at it.
We all have done this. Prayers for you.
I give my kids screen time when I need to get something done. Well the tv is always on but I give my 3 yr old the iPad.
Set good expectations for yourself when they are playing nicely then get some things done quickly, if they are fussy and needing attention then wait a little while.
Definitely frustrating though! I have a 3 yr old and 10m old soul I feel it!
Oh honey, that’s part of being a mother. You are doing a good job. Just keep loving them!!
I am guilty too…all we can do is try not to yell,challenge ourselves to a different coping method when we feel the yells coming on, and the a big celebration when we succeed, I’m not kidding it’s like potty training for yelling adults. And involve the kids, or someone else to make us more accountable you got this momma
You are a very normal momma. We all feel like this sometimes…sometimes we feel like this a lot. Give yourself a break. Give yourself a pat on the back. Take a deep breath…and know you are doing a good job.
Not terrible. Harassed and maybe too goal oriented
It’s a daily struggle.
Some days cleaning will win.
Most others the kiddos win.
And you’re feeling like the monkey in the middle.
Yay for motherhood. LOL
I feel it mama. I’m a single mom of two kids. 3 and 1 yrs old. I get frustrated. When I’m feeling like I’m angry at my children for not listening I take a moment to think about it. Self awareness is key. Don’t act on impulse but on what you know is right. Be careful. But also know that you’re only human. We make mistakes and I’m sure you’re doing a great job. Keep trying … you’ll get through this.
You’re not a terrible mother, you are a mom. You could have the 4 yr old help you with laundry. (I let my nieces and nephews 4,3, and 1 dump out clean the clothes for me, put soap into the washer, start the dryer get them involved in part of it. Then usually they go do something else. With mopping or sweeping you can have your children fill the bucket (help turn on the water), have them “sweep” while you clean something else and then sweep after them. Getting them involved in the cleaning will take a little longer, but it can also work well to get things done.
Keep on trucking!
Every mother knows this feeling.
This is when self-care is most important. Call a friend or family member to watch them for an hour or two. Go do your nails or take a hot bath, read a book.
No you are not a terrible mom went through the same with mine sometimes we just need some me time…I never had it no one to turn to for help my mom passed …get your mom or your mother in law to take them for a few hours and get what you need done and when they get back home have a special time planned with them////
It happens when I’m trying to do things and my 2 year old is pushing me to play or being wild I will “ahhhhhh” and he gets upset so I feel bad and hold him but he kisses me after and says sorry. I feel like a bad mom those times too.
That’s just part of being a Mama honey. Your doing a great job. Try turning on music when you want to clean. My kids loved to dance & it gave me a chance to get things done. Good luck sweetie. Your not alone & it will get easier
Mom of 3 and always yelling for one or another… I don’t whoop my kids so when they hear me loud they know is time to stop
You are not doing nothing bad at all
No, you aren’t a bad mom!! I go through this every single day! Being that they’re so young, maybe find a movie that will keep them content long enough to get some things done if you let them watch movies! Put on some fun music and tell them to dance in the living room for a while or color a picture, bottom line, find something fun to distract them! It’s so easy to get frustrated, try not to yell at them, at one year old, they don’t fully understand and it just scares them. If none of these work, I would wait until the little one takes a nap, the older can be more easily distracted, you will get through this I promise!!! Reach out for help when you can, make arrangements for play dates if possible, when you’re child free, clean in that time. Hopefully something I suggested helps!!
You’re not a terrible mom. We all have those days. Hell some days I wanna grab my passport and run far, far away. Then there are those days when I want to rip up their birth certificates . Just kidding but seriously though it will get a easier when they get a little older.
Every single person/mother has these moments whever they admit it or not.
EVERY mom feels that way at some point. And if they say they don’t they’re lying through their teeth. You are human and you do apologize. Give yourself some grace
That’s just part of being a mom! Being a single mom is hard because we get no breaks. I will tell my girls (9 and 11) when they go to bed to not bother me unless they are dying because I need a break. They know they are my life but they also know I’m their only parent and they understand. Your girls are little and won’t remember the bad days or the small moments that don’t matter. My kids value our evening routine and stuff like that, they forget the days I flip out and tell them to clean their room or I’m throwing everything away lol
I use to try keeping everything together all the time I realized it’s impossible. I have a 2year old and 1 year old when I really am in the mood to clean I set them up with paint and paper let them explore there imagination!
When your done with your task it’s really an easy clean up as long as you set them up in a place you know they’ll stay put.
Especially if you buy washable paint it’s an easy clean up! My girls can paint for like 1 hour without needing me but of coarse keeping an eye on them!
No you’re not a terrible mom. I have these times quite often.
They are only little for so long, be with them while you can. Cleaning can wait
You are not a bad mom…just one who needs a break.
Listen lady, you’re a badass queen, and sometimes a queen just loses it. No exceptions, no apologies, human nature, badass queen, lady it just happens. FORGIVE YOURSELF! Have a blessed and Happy New Year!
No!!! We all lose our shit it’s being a parent. You’re not alone
I alway set a room , bedroom or hall way even up with no safety hazards and put up baby gates so they could play and watch a movie while I cleaned , I even gave then wipes and told them help mommy and they would clean the gate , walls and toys . Baby gates = sanity in my book .jmo
YOU ARE NORMAL!!! …and repeat…dont beat yourself up. Just try counting to 10 before losing your cool…i sometimes count to 10 and BACK DOWN AGAIN! WHATEVER IT TAKES RIGHT?
Reward their good behaviours and give them lots of positivity. Keep them entertained. And try meditation. Try not to get so angry at them they are just babies. Get yourself together mumma bear
Oh sweetie I wish I could hug you
You are NOT a terrible mommy.
You are doing everything yourself and yes, some days, kiddos get in the way. Yes, some days, you will yell and you will hug them and say sorry because you didn’t mean it. It’s okay. I have a ADHD 10 year old, a ADHD 6 year old and a 9 month old. We are in winter break. Been trying to organize my room and clean it…for two weeks. Basically begging the schools to open back up at this point
Being a mom is hard. But everyday you do things to make sure the kids are happy and safe.
Maybe let them help with some sudsy water and just have fun? Fold laundry and make it a game? Build a fort one day and let them eat snacks and watch a movie while you do some cleaning? Or even buy them a toy cleaning cart and just let them “help”?
Show me one single mother who hasn’t felt this way
Dont beat yourself up mama before you know it they will be old enough to help you then old enough you wish them little again.
All part of parenting believe me especially doing it single. Absolutely no judging to the parents that are together. But it’s easier to have someone to share that burden with. Everyone seems to think oh she has some time if you have a free weekend or a night off once in a year. The facts are we dedicate ourselves so much to our kids we sometimes let the guilt get to us. Take a hot bath, have a drink just don’t concentrate on those times when you lose patience. I usually turn on some good tunes the kids love and myself we dance around the house or kitchen when I’m feeling really stressed out. The laughter and dancing will reassure you. Today was one of those days for me where I just wanted five minutes doesn’t really ever happen tho when their awake and my son will fight his sleep til I’m passing out. Which I don’t even if I’m dragging my ass everywhere the next day.
My mom yelled, screamed n sometimes whooped our asses. But I still love that lady more than anything. Your kids will understand!! They will always love you!!
When they are being clingy, especially when you are stressed, just let them hold you because you need it more then them. Even though your instinct might be to pull away, just let them hold on and it will pass and you’ll feel better. That’s what I do, it really helps
You’re not a terrible mother hun some of us are yellers im a yeller always have been since I was a kid.i shout about most things coz In this house nobody listens until I start shouting and balling like a nutcase then all of a sudden im crazy and everyone had gone temporarily deaf when i asked nicely 20 times🤦♀️ we all go through these things its normal. I have a friend who’s kids literally get away with murder even shouting doesnt phase them because theres no threat behind it , no consequences to whatever they Do. My 6yo hates the fact that when i start shouting its only a few short steps from there to losing privileges because that means mama’s pissed , like u i rarely smack them and when i do its a tap on the butt or hand that does nothing so I yell and I take things away (only works with the 6yo so far the other one is 2 and typically gives zero fucks) but we all do what works for us espesially when u are single and the only one there to do these things. But the advice i was given before I met My partner and I only had the 6yo , leave it , leave the floor till later leave the dishes/washing till the morning the house will be there long after your gone but the kids will only be wee for a short time. Mop the floor when theyr in bed.
Being a mother means being there and doing the best you can.I have 5 grown daughter’s and 17 grandkids ,I’ve been patient and yelling ,happy and sad ,and everything in between.give them love ,apologize when you lose it ,KEEP GOING .Motherhood is about loving your children not being perfect.
It’s okay mama, single momma of two boys, almost 3 yrs old and almost 18 months old. 17 months apart, I have my moments but my eldest randomly will say ‘mom, I love you’ ‘I want a hug/kiss’ Tonight, he dumped water on a new toy that needs batteries, I flipped as this is the second year he’s done it, to a new Christmas toy. Now I know it was unintentional, but I have since confiscated a few toys. After that, tv was shut off and we played, laughed, giggled, cuddled and read lots of books
Those moments are hard but they may not understand but still love you. We all have our moments, some better or worse than others, just breathe and take a minute to evaluate the situation.
I raised my voice and explained that we do not play with water on toys, also implementing from now on and he asks for his cup and it goes back on the counter.
We are all winging it
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
I still feel this way… my kids are 11 and 8.
Clean and play and clean and play. Teach them to help you. I promise I started mine out this young and made a game of it.
House work will always be there, kids won’t be little for long. Time goes by too fast not to spend as much of it with the little ones, so what if you have to mop later or tomorrow. Give yourself a break!
I don’t understand what kind if advice you need.
Mop the floor when they’re down for naps or after they go to bed of an evening?
Also get a friend to babysit so you can have some time out!
I completely understand I would break down and my kids wouldn’t know what to do I learned to let things go a little longer in the house and do things with the kids till they go to sleep then I would clean I was a single mom for 2 years after I left my x husband now I have a wonderful boyfriend who adores my kids and i get breaks when i need
It’s New Year’s Eve, who has time for some Debby Downer shit?! Neeeext.
Honey,it’s normal.You’re doing your best.When I got that point when I was a stay at home mom,I’d yell into a pillow,or punch the damn thing.Try finding play dates,or a mom who will watch your kids for a few hours,and you return the favor.Then you can get some alone time.
I do the same thing and I am married. It’s normal but I try to be more patient.
Even moms that arent doing it alone feel this way! Easier said than done but dont beat yourself up for those moments. They are real and happen. You’re entitled to your feelings and valid in being frustrated or overdone. I have 5 kiddos and I’m a proponent of finding something they enjoy (technology wise) regardless of what some will say. Keeps my sanity. My 3 youngest like bubble guppies and I’ll post them up with a no mess kind of snack and let them watch it til I am better on control. You are so not alone. You know what I hear? I hear you recognizing these moments and the fact they make you feel bad MAKES you a good mom.
I can say with reasonable certain that your not a bad mom,a bad mom would not be worried about her kids, so with that said you my be a frustrated mom, good luck sweetie
Girl I go through this everyday it’s part of being a mom!
Kids get annoying
First off note the time of the month you are most upset with the girls…take a mental note…could be hormonal…
Same can’t even use the bathroom in peace…every step I take there’s a two year old following me. She’s like a leach sometimes. I used to like kids now I just tolerate mine lmao jk I love her but she gets on my nerves. I sat next to her and said “do you like ever get tired of being near me?” She goes “no mommy!” Lol I get tired of myself sometimes. We all have our moments and we all need to breathe! You’re not a terrible mom!
You just need a break is all. We all go through this and we all feel horrible about it but it doesn’t make you a bad mom. Try to find someone to watch them for a few hours so you can just breath and remember that the house doesn’t have to look perfect for it to be perfect. Sometimes the chores can take a back seat to just sitting with the kids and relaxing.
You sir are an idiot
Welcome to the club!
There is nothing wrong with a little pat on the bottom. You have to find your own what works. But if you don’t do anything that is wrong because then you have adults that don’t know right or wrong.
SMH, I mop and clean and cook and shower pretty much with a 2 year stuck to me. After awhile I just thought it’s something you get used too,
Lots and lots of hugs. You are doing just fine.
Advice: when you begin to feel like you might yell start singing or counting or praying or whatever calms down your mind. I know it’s difficult and scary and frustrating and all of the emotions, many of us feel this way at some point or many points and it’s totally normal. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even the 4 year old can help; she can pick up clothes or toys and play with her sister for a minute.
Best of luck
I know it’s hard. I had 5 back to back and may not of been a single Mama, we both worked up until the last two were born now I’m a stay at home mom. Their dad works from 7am and doesn’t get home until after 7pm some nights. I have been having a lot of health issues and it’s all hitting me so hard:sob: hold those babies as much as you can because tomorrow is never promised and the house work can wait. I always try to do my stuff early morning or after they’re all asleep.
Fact that you feel bad proves you care
I let mine watch tv when I clean
Every parent gets frustrated at times. And it’s ok to feel that way as we are all human but often adults hold children to an expectation that they too can’t have frustrated feelings or melt downs. Apologizing is good. It shows you acknowledge their feelings and what you did that may have hurt their feelings etc. frustrated and abused are to different things. Sounds like you just need a break or even some fresh air. Don’t be so hard on yourself momma
I’m sure you are doing a great job… I have a 2-year old that’s constantly into everything and is the size of a 4-year-old so nothing is off-limits… Then I have a 12-year-old bonus son fulltime that had a lot of problems before I got him… I get frustrated all the time… It’s natural. I send them to their room when it gets out of hand when I know I’m getting upset. Bc, I am human… I always try to calm down before talking to them. Sometimes I have to smack my 2/year old hand but that is mainly when he tries to play with something that is super dangerous like the oven. I am lucky to have a husband that kinda helps but he’s gone or asleep all but 3 hours maybe a day… But I do not work, but I am a fulltime college student. Also, it’s kinda a fight many times because he doesn’t get it and the minute I complain about anything I’m instantly a terrible mom and so forth. But I get them involved as much as possible with chores or task. My 2-year-old wipes up messes, swiffers the floor and cleans his room or any toys left out. The eldest obviously can do more than the 2-year-old but he is also in school and sports all day. With my 2year old, I do my best to entertain him but I also encourage him to play alone. Even if that means putting a gate up in his doorway so he can play while I sweep or so on. His entire room is baby proofed and there are monitors etc. Plus it’s right next to the rest of the house so in earshot. When he was younger a playpen was amazing!
Welcome to motherhood
I give them a room full of toys yet they still want to play with me
Many people tell me to wait until the toddler sleeps and then start mopping and cleaning or get up a few hrs earlier and begin before he wakes up. Ummm mommy needs her sleep too
Oh honey this is so so normal!
Lmao girl plz eh. There are moments like this and its normal especially for SAHM. Don’t be so hard on yourself. My kids are a yr apart and when I faced this i used to put them both in the playpen with the TV on so i can get the house chores done. They’re now 7 and 8 and they help clean up instead of creating messes. Their room is their responsibility and packing away all their clean laundry is also their responsibility. Recently we enforced teaching them to do their dishes. Which means only the dishes they use.
You’re a mom. If you werent concerned and thinking you can do better then that would be a problem. Getting frustrated and freaking out…happens. Slow down. Walk away. Take a breather. The pediatrician once told me that crying never killed anyone…I have twins, I NEEDED that advice. Babies cry, they fuss, they throw fits…walking away to get your cool isnt going to hurt them a bit. Let them self soothe for a few minutes and breeaaathe. You’re doing just fine.
Its NORMAL. I have a 2 and 6 year olds and I’ve been there. I feel like i cannot turn around without one of them being in something they shouldn’t be.
Best advice i have is to
-enlist your 4 year olds help. Help with chores or playing with the 1 year old while you get stuff done
-Utilize tv which sounds lazy but i promise its not and it’ll be ok. My kids LOVE storybots which is educational. And the sooner i get done with housework the more time I’ve got with them.
-pick your battles. Somethings are just not worth the effort of stressing over. Mop after they go to bed. It’ll take less time in the long run.
-do not be afraid to ask for help or to ask someone to watch the kids for a little bit. But take it from me…don’t use that time to do housework. Use it to take care of yourself.
Play with them first, then say you guys play together while I do this chore then we can play again. They just want your time and to be with you
No criticisim ! Welcome to the wonderful world of being loved for the rest of your life:heart_eyes:
I know the feeling I’ve been there mine are finally a bit older now my oldest just had his 7th birthday and my little one is going to be 5 next month but in those moments when I feel like that I think about how fast it all goes by really they’ll be grown and gone before you know it and you’ll have all the time in the world to clean with out any little messing up right behind yo I
Honey it’s completely normal. We all get aggravated with our kid’s sometimes. Just try to take a deep breath and count to 10 before you react. One of these day’s they’re not gonna be little anymore and they’re not gonna want to be up your butt all the time, and you’re gonna miss it <3
Oh how i know what you mean. Mine are 5 and 2. My oldest is in kindergarten, so that helps tremendously. My two year old doesn’t respond to any form of discipline. Time out, talking, a smack on the diaper… nothing works with him. I’m genuinely concerned he will be the one i get called to school on every day . My oldest has a tablet she can only play with it for so long every day and she has to play educational games before she can do anything else. I use her tablet to keep my son occupied while I clean. He’s not much into tv unless it’s mickey mouse and even then, he loses interest within a few minutes. He loves old school "nursery rhymes " like , head shoulders knees and toes; Johnny Johnny Yes Papa; the wheels on the bus; etc. So i allow him to watch those while i clean and then we have a nerf war and the house is covered in nurf bullets when my husband gets home . My kids, like most, are better behaved when they aren’t together. Most of my yelling happens when the 5 year old has been asked to leave her brother alone repeatedly.
All normal you just need to outsmart them , first don’t get mad I know it’s the easiest thing to do trust us everyone is guilty of it expecially if your getting around to the cranky Mother Nature cycle if you know what I mean… anyho give the girls mini mops and toy vacuums pretend play clean up the four ur old can start help you, make it fun turn the music on and work together, and if you just want to go at it alone, well one year old sleep, 4 reads a book in room for quiet time, put the timer on for how long you need, if anything… once a month …phone a friend or relative I need you babysit for a few hours take them to the park so I can get stuff done or once a week, etc you can even hire a support worker to play with them while you run errands get a babysitter a teenager for a few hours heck it’s all possible just look outside the box … just remember if you teach them anger they will do the same later in life
You are not at all a terrible mother. I have 2 children and am a single mum. When all you hear all day is mum , mum ,mum ,mum, when you want a few moments to clean or go to the toilet and Still it’s mum, mum, mum . We can’t say go see dad or who ever. Day in day out it’s only one person to hear and deal with it all. And guess what at times it’s frustrating when a 5 min job takes 30mins, stopping , starting for this reason or that and we all get l like this at times. Just breath, know your giving it your all and your an awsome mum
When you get this way take a few minutes to just have fun with your kids the work will always be there and the kids grow up to fast enjoy them
Absolutely not! I’m not a single mom and I still have those moments. Being a parent is hard and doing it alone is even harder. The fact that you know you snap, you apologize and try to make it right is better than not realizing what your doing. good luck mama
I feel like a single mama most of the time although I am married. But my husband seems to prefers to work over nights then sleep all day the next day, so I have found that if I set a timer for like twenty minutes and just sit down with my two little ones (2& a 9 month old) for that twenty minutes they seem to behave for a little while after and then I do what I can. Also I find it helpful to put them down for their naps at the same time and as they sleep again, I do what I can
Thank you all. I wanted to be anonymous because I thought I was being too hard on them considering they are so little. But reading all the comments and knowing I am not the only mama to feel out of her damn mind makes me feel better…thank you all so so much
Know the feeling being a mom is hard work. This does not make you a terrible mother. It’s normal to feel at the end of the rope. Just take a deep breath and return and finish what u was doing.
It’s an every mom thing. I’ll feel so guilty after putting my son to bed that I end up crying out of guilt. Just gotta tell yourself to do better the next day
Take deep breaths, know you’re doing good. Maybe get the four year old to help. There’s a song by Toby Kieth I live by called My List. Sometimes the list we have as adults need to just pause. Get down, put that broom away and just cuddle or tickle or play games. Sometimes stress comes from our personal expectations of things we feel we must do. But your babies are babies for so short time. You’ll be begging for their love soon enough. Put the broom and on hard days know if you didn’t care. You wouldn’t be on here. If you didn’t love so much, you wouldn’t be posting for advice. You’re rocking it mama.
Not terrible at all…and I’m sure EVER SINGLE PARENT has felt the way you do. It’s normal. Being a parent is hard AF!!! Your good…kids will be fine. Your amazing and doing great.
I trip out all the time. Lol
It’s a good.
Definitly very real and very normal, any single mom who says they didnt have this is lying. I can tell you, it does get easier. I found routines and having my mommy time when the kids went to bed a HUGE saviour for me. I put them to bed for 8:00 then ran myself a nice relaxing candle lit bath. Always look for ways to focus on self care too, I know its hard finding the time but its needed.
If a close friend or family memeber offers to take them for a few hours (and is someone you can trust) take it! Dont be ashamed to ask for help my kids are now 8&10 so this is just advice from my experience during those younger days
“When you feel so mad that you wanna roar, take a deep breath & count to 4” sorry I was watching Daniel Tiger earlier with my son but it’s solid advice at least!
Don’t sweat the small stuff, remember home is for living, so if you can’t get to it today there’s always tomorrow.