Advice needed because I didn’t grow up around very good examples of healthy relationships/marriages so I’m not sure what to do here. My husband and I have been married since August of 2020 and together since December of 2019 so it’s been a little while. The first year together was awesome, almost too good to be true, never had to ask for him to think of me, he made me feel special, we went on dates, sexual attraction, everything was great. Then I’m July we had a baby and I don’t want to say it was the baby but that’s the closest I can pinpoint when the specialness and spontaneity went away. Now I feel like unless my legs are open I’m not very important anymore. There’s no intimacy other than sex. And I don’t care to have sex all the time. I guess my question is, should I be upset with him for not being excited about anything I do anymore? Or that there’s no enthusiasm even when I want to do something special for him? Unless I try to have sex with him it’s almost like it doesn’t matter and everything is always “just fine” or “that’s ok” “thanks” “I guess.” I just want some excitement when it comes to me doing something special for him, or some enthusiasm when I talk to him. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for him now when I didn’t used to have to ask him to be excited about anything. Now I feel like I’m begging him to love me.
Sad. I’m in a bit of a similar situation. … so i don’t offer much advice… I’m sorry you’re going through that.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like I am begging my husband to love me
The second you start to question if you deserve better, the answer is yes, you do.
It’s always great in the beginning.
Time to get a sancho 
Men change after babies
Sometimes because the focus is no longer on them. Remember they are the reason you have those beautiful babies and they deserve to be wined and dined too. It sounds like your relationship also lacks communication. I share in that struggle but we are working on it. I would highly recommend therapy alone and together.
Sounds like you need to open the line if communication and talk to him. The “honeymoon” phase is over on to the next phase. My husband and I have been together 20+ years you have to be honest and open and there will be roller-coasters and ruts along the way. It really just sounds like you’re in a rut.
Sounds like that 3 year itch. It also seems he isn’t speaking your love language. So find out his and tell him yours and it’ll take effort from both people. If that doesn’t work or if you’re the only willing one then you may have to cut your losses. Babies are hard as well. It changes things. Usually, you can get it back to something good though.
You are begging they are incapable of love
I read the first sentence…it’s time to GO!!!
I recommend couples therapy. This is fairly common after having a baby and it can be he’s struggling with the new life dynamics
Sometimes it’s normal but you also have to ask yourself, do you show HIM affection and intimacy? Does he KNOW your love language and vise versa? Sometimes talking about how you feel will go a long way, trust me.
Have you told him how you feel. That’s where I’d start.
Honeymoon is over husband now looks at you as a mother. And that can take some time to wear off for some men.
Things do change after a baby. I’m sure you have changed too. You still have to put each other first. Which is hard to do when you have a baby to care for. Sit down and talk and really listen to what each other needs. Then make a plan to each take care of the baby. That way you both can take time for each other.
Honestly some men show more affection than other men. If you expressed to him its important to you and he has not made any changes than you have to ask yourself if you can accept that way he is or do you want to leave ? We can’t like all of somebody there will always be quirks. Don’t give up on the relationship tho. Keep trying. I’ve been with the same man for 14 years and this happens to us often. I think we have work but we will be okay. Work on it Mama!
You’ve literally been together 2 years pretty much. It’s not going to stay like it was in the beginning. I would start with talking about how you need more romance and time alone if yall constantly have the kid with you
Throw the whole man out
This is why people shouldn’t jump into marriage or having kids… titles and circumstances change and you need to take the time to learn how you two will be when that happens… but men show affection in different ways as they get older and as circumstances change.
Some men don’t see their wife as sexy anymore after they have a baby… those men are ASSHOLES
The honeymoon phase always comes to an end and kids unfortunately put a damper on a lot because they are so needy . Wouldn’t have it any other way though and as they get older it does get easier . We’ve been together 8 years this year but only married a little over two . It isn’t perfect like it was in the beginning but it isn’t horrible either .
Learn each other’s love language
This could be several things as to why this is happening. Have you tried telling him how you feel? Do you show him affection and such too, or do you wait for him to show it? He could be checked out also, but doesn’t know how to speak up. Try sitting down and letting him know how you feel.
I would not throw the whole marriage away just yet. Did you know men can suffer from post partum depression/anxiety? Talk to him. My husband and I went through a rough patch around this time and it was actually me that felt disconnected. We talked about it. I was completely transparent about how I was feeling and he didnt judge. He asked how he could help make it better. Just getting it off my chest helped so much! We’ve been married 9 years this Sunday now and havent had that issue again though our marriage definitely isnt the same as it was in the early days but no marriage is.
Well the “fun” phase of your marriage is over. The newness and excitement has worn off. It’s normal. A marriage (any long term relationship) actually requires work, it’s not a fairy tale. The MOST important thing is, not good, but GREAT communication. (On both ends, that is) Talk to your husband. Tell him what’s bothering you- ask what you can do. You both need to focus on one another and increase the priority level of your relationship. This is also a point where you have to learn to tolerate the things he does that annoy you. (He’s learning to do the same) Just remember- any good marriage takes work, time, commitment, and communication.
You both are adjusting to a new baby lack of sleep…etc…
Talk to him!!!
And grow together as a couple
I would tell him how you’re feeling and what exactly you miss about the first year. If he changes, great! If he doesn’t change then tell him you’re not as interested sexually because he’s not meeting your needs. Fuck it, if sex is all he wants then use it as leverage. You’re not getting what you want/need and you’ve already expressed this…why should he continue to get what he wants all the time?
Hard to get through these times, so make sure you are not nagging him, Don complain about the baby either. Time to get a baby sitter or grandma to watch the baby & have a date night. Bring it back. House clean, nothing to interfere with it. Candles, hotel if necessary. Your relationship and marriage are too new to toss it away. Time to also get to a church - you need some type of social activity. Maybe a small business or job. Do something to diversify YOU. get a small income, on your own. I don’t care if it’s making candles & selling Avon.
I know exactly how that feels, having to beg for love and it hurts a lot. I’m so sorry you’re going through that, especially so soon in the relationship. I wish I had advice for you babe but I don’t. Just know that you’re not alone. Communication is key to any relationship so lay it all out on the table and see how he responds.
You must live yourself find the old you and let the laughter get you closer
Never chase after someone. You deserve better. Be the tequila. Not the lime. 
He wanted to be with YOU not have a baby. Sad you have to be on the losing end of this realization
I would not open my legs for him. Ever. Tell him how you feel if that does not work keep those legs together. Sex does not make a Marriage.
You literally just met the guy and you’re already married with a kid? Next time try to know the person you’re marrying and having sex with first. No one keeps up first date standards.
I’m sure if you take the time to get to know the next person before making some huge commitment like a kid, you will get a more complete version of them over a more reqsonable amount of time. Maybe your individual therapist can help you unravel some of that codependency when you’re ready to feel better.
Mine doesn’t like cuddling or affection very much either. He has problems talking to me when he’s feeling low or when he’s struggling. Turns out his mother created all these dang problems with him. She’s the same way! Lock everything up!
Communicate, communicate, and more communication is key to figuring this out and unraveling the damage done.
I had to learn to stop viewing mine as this impenetrable stone statue and realize that he has feelings too and things he needs to work on
I think this is common for couples who get together and have a kid and get married in less than 2 yrs. You don’t even really know each other well enough for either….now your getting to really know him and it’s not what you really want, good thing about it is you can move on without feeling you have lost and invested too much time. When you know better you do better. 
Just be honest with him how you feel 
Talk to him it’s not easy having a baby and marriage takes work I think it’s time to find a sitter and have a date night my husband and I do this every couple weeks it helps
Kids change things, the honeymoon period is over… Arrange a weekend away just the two of you to rekindle things and ignore the people telling you to end your marriage, how rediculous!
It could be a several things. Some men retreat when they see their wife give birth. It’s a psychological reaction. Your best bet, couples therapy. Learn to have a healthy relationship. Plan dates. Get a babysitter for a weekend (grandparents, aunts, besties) and go away and be together. Talk. Reconnect.
If you try various ways to fix things and can’t, it’s ok to choose to be happy alone.
My toxic voice in my head says the shiny novelty is gone. And maybe he’s seeing someone else.
.
He lovebombed you, sis.
l get pald over $ 130 per hour w0rking from h0me. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18168 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Do things to start dating your spouse again. When you have that many big life changes, it makes it really difficult to truly know a person. It takes about two years of living together before you truly know someone. You started dating, got married, and had a baby in two years. That’s A LOT of significant life changes in a very short amount of time. Take a step back and start dating each other again. Make time for just the two of you. Is it hard? Hell yes it’s hard, but it can be done. My boyfriend and I have been together a year, three kids between the two of us, he works midnights, I’m in school during the day, but we make it work how we need to. We make a point to spend time just us or out with a group of adult friends once a month and it helps tremendously. No relationship is easy, but you have to figure out what works for your relationship.
You got married way to fast for 1. I don’t get why people don’t wait at least 5yrs to marry. Would save a lot of money.
For one thing you barely knew him before you got married…and then a few months later you were pregnant whether it was planned or not…that is alot to handle you were still getting to know each other and wham pregnancy…well this might be his personality where boredom has set in and he doesnt have to try anymore, he could be depressed
But i would sit him down and have a really good discussion and tell him what you told us…get it all out because he might not have a clue how you are feeling and tgey cant read our minds…
Dont forget when discussing this you also mention date nights…intinacy etc…marriage isnt good unless you communicate…and dont pkan for more kids till you get your problems worked out…good luck
Because he has you now so he doesn’t have to try. That was all an act. Run.
several things, all this needs to be said to your husband by you. He just might think, you are just to business for him & he just might be feeling the same way you are, that you feel about him !!! Then when you can, there should be a special weekend you guys just need to get away, anywhere, for a special date weekend, if possible every month if nit maybe several times a yr. Just to rekindle 
Been married for 10 years and EASY would NEVER be a word I would use to describe our journey this far! Communicate these feelings with your hubby maybe you guys need to take some time to reconnect and learn each others love language. It’s easy to run away and start all over with someone else but even that relationship will eventually come with its challenges! I am in no way saying to stay in a relationship where you aren’t safe, comfortable, or happy but marriage is work and sometimes you put in more effort and sometimes they will… find a quiet place to talk with no distraction. Who knows maybe he’s stressing out: work, finances, fatherhood and doesn’t know how to express that, cope with it, or he’s not a great communicator! If you see no changes, he’s not willing to put in the work for you and the family then that’s ok if you decide to be on your own.
-Good Luck
Things are different after parenthood, but you two need to communicate clearly how you feel and what you want/need from each other. Give and take.
My marriage fell apart after our first child. I tried to hold it together. I didn’t want a divorce. He went from fun and exciting to grudgingly there for me. If that. He looked at other women and didn’t bother to hide it. I tried to make it work. I was very fertile and got pregnant again right away. Even with birth control. He got even more difficult. Demanded sex rather than being romantic. The sex was more rape than a mutual act. He would satisfy himself, then roll off me and do something else. We were overseas at the time. He was in the Air Force. When we came back to the States, we stayed with his parents so we could find our own place after he found a job. He didn’t bother for six months. I finally told him I was taking the kids and leaving if he didn’t get a job and find us our own place. He did and things were a little better for awhile. But then we ended up buying a house. We taught karate classes, he taught people to fly small airplanes. He stayed gone more and more when he wasn’t working. It was finally obvious that he was cheating. And he got abusive verbally. He said horrible things, belittled me in front of the babies, was awful. He finally came in drunk one night, smashing light fixtures and beer bottles, I had to send my kids to the neighbors and threaten to fight him to get them out. He finally left with a friend. I packed the car and the kids and ran. We hid out for several weeks. I filed for divorce. It was a terrible scary time. The divorce was finally final and I got court permission to move with the kids back to my native Indiana. I got a job and found someone else. That wasn’t good either. That relationship fell apart 8 years later. I’ve made more relationship mistakes and dragged my kids through hell. Now at 65 I’m alone and content. Don’t do like I did. If you decide to end this relationship, stay single. Don’t do to your kids what I did to mine. You’ll never be sorry that it was you and your baby against the world. You’ll be closer than many mothers and kids. I was with mine in spite of the fact I was an idiot. I still am. They don’t hold my mistakes against me. They say I was doing the best I could with what I had to work with. I hope things work out for you. Be strong. Don’t settle. And put your baby first.
Sounds like you’re dealing with a narcissist
Some men change after childbirth. I think that they are not a center of your world and they share you with your child
The new wears off in all relationships. If you don’t have genuine love and respect for each other then the relationship falls apart after the new wears off. This is why a couple should live together for a few years before having children….
Talk to some older women that have been married a while. They’ll tell you the same thing.
Unfortunately it’s part of long term relationships
And this is why you should date longer than a year before you get married.
Have been married for a while now and we are a family of 5 and I would name marriage a roller-coaster because of its ups and downs. I dont know hiw old is your child but, fathers also got through postpartum depression (PPD) paternal postpartum depression.
It will only get worse…he got what he wanted clearly…he did all that to woo you then keep you and now he feels like he doesn’t have to do that anymore bc "he got you"so to speak he doesn’t need to do anything else. He probably thinks you won’t go anywhere bc you did have a baby…put your foot down for change and communication or leave
Talk to him tell him how you feel
There is a you tube channel called Narcissist Chronicles. Maybe you wanna check you didnt marry a narcissist, there are red flags here. 2019 is NOT a long time, in fact to get married so soon, another red flag.
Men can also go through ppd. Having a baby takes its toll on the both of you. He might feel overwhelmed with all the newness of being a parent. Definitely would seek some counseling. For the both of you. There’s not enough information to say he’s a narcissist so I definitely would take those comments with a grain of salt. People forget men go through stuff too. Also don’t listen to those who are giving you crap for an early marriage. Everyone’s different and timing is always different for everyone.
The honeymoon phase is over, but that doesn’t mean he gets to stop trying. I’ve been with my husband for almost 8 years and he never stops trying and neither do I. You guys gotta spice things up, if he’s up for that that is. How long has it been since you went on a real date and didn’t have to worry about anything?
Talk to him about how you feel. I would also suggest a marriage counselor to help mediate things and give perspective from the outside. No shame in it!
Maybe get a sitter and have date nights or take up a hobby that interests you both. Try some new things that you’ve never done before. It can be hard to keep interested when you feel like you’ve talked about everything already and done everything already.
This is normal especially after a baby. Rediscover yourself and each other. You can get through this.
Once a narcissist has a baby with you, then he got you. They get bored and move on to the next mark.
All marriages go through ups and downs. I don’t think you should in a relationship like others are saying. Talk with him about it you try to do things to spark the relationship but just because he’s not getting over excited doesn’t mean that he don’t love you talk with him would be the first thing I would do. Share with him your feelings
Men go thru tough times as well any that say they don’t is just lying try to communicate with your partner about your concerns you’d be surprised addressing a issue directly can solve many problems including this hope this helps.
Do you have your own personal adult toy?? Tell him that’s how he makes you feel. Time for a long conversation. AND counseling!!!
Babies are hard. I’m not trying to say this is Ok, but maybe he is Depressed and isn’t coping as well as you are? Maybe he feels EXACTLY like you do🤷♀️
It’s no longer just you as the centre of his world, and as much as thats painfull, it’s natural! You both need a really open chat about everyone’s expectations, about boundaries and helping eachother through the next couple years with a clear goal in mind.
Remember, your both modeling behaviour for your child. So if behaviour is unhealthy, work on it together.
Worst case, If it doesnt get better, teach your kids that relationships end for all kinds of reasons and that’s ok. We move on.
We get better. We do better.
If you have trouble communicating, get couples counseling. I’m sure you both love each other, it’s just learning to read & please the other one so everyone gets (mostly) what they need. Maybe he’s just exhausted having a baby to take care of.
I am sorry that is hard. What I think you should tey and do is set up weekly date nights. And on those dates talk about your needs and wants. With a new baby thing s do change. But you just need to talk. And I know that sometimes they won’t at first but the more you set that time apart the more the doors open.
Have you tried talking to him about it? I’m sure you have, what does he say? Would the two of you ever consider couples therapy? Being married is HARD. Being new parents is SO DAMN HARD. Guys can be so dumb sometimes so communicating clearly is extremely important but not easy. I wonder if he knew how your feeling he may try and make some changes? Keep your head up, doll. You deserve so much 
You met and got married in less than a year. You don’t even really know each other yet. Now you’re gonna find out who u really married so pay attention.
This is normal and can happen after having a baby. Sometimes the man just feels left out, or the woman. The best thing to do is communicate your needs from him and if you see effort, then you know he’s trying. If not then you may want to evaluate the relationship. Also find out each others love languages. Like my fiancé is words of affirmation. I’m different than him I like quality time. So I have to remember to satisfy my emotional needs and same with him. It takes work.
Honestly in the same way he spoiled you in the beginning, he deserves that too. He deserves to feel the way he made you feel in the beginning. Also it’s good to sit down and tell him what’s going on. In this way you can also see what’s going on with him.
You both just experienced major, major life changes in an extremely short period of time. These are each very stressful events. He may be feeling life is spinning out of control and shutting down. Guys generally suck at talking about their feelings. You need both need to create a safe place where you can share and get to know each other.
Do carve out 5 minutes every day to just talk without distractions - no phones, tv, etc. It may be awkward AF at 1st, but it gets easier. Get out for a date night at least 1x a month if at all possible. You need to establish good communication early on.
Expect it to take longer for him to break down his barriers. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He’s a guy and they are frequently afraid to show vulnerability.
View tough times as opportunities to build your relationship and strengthen/develop your own positive traits. Marriage can be very rewarding but it takes hard work.
Is he okay, mentally? Sometimes it isn’t always about you. Part of a marriage is going through the good and the bad together. Instead of taking it personally, talk to him and make sure he is okay.
I believe some men change once there is a child involved they don’t see you as the woman they married but as a mother of a child even though it belongs to him … you should talk to him and ask what the problem is to help you understand also to remind him that you are not just a mother but also his wife partner and lover… baby is a gift and you don’t want that child damaged when they are growing up because parents do and can send wrong messages to that child about life. All the best to you I do hope things will work out for you both… be positive with yourself you haven’t done anything wrong remind him also that he is a parent as well.
The baby changed alot of things, it’s not a bad things. But people adjust to things differently and accept things ati different time. I suggest have a nice conversation with your husband. Here is something alot of us women do that we don’t notice once we have kids. We forget our partner, looking good, smelling good, nice clothes etc. Remember we are moved by actions and words. While men are moved by what they see. I know u cant be a little tired sometimes but try to be doing all the little things u did for him before y’all had a baby and involve him more in the care of the baby do u can bond over the baby
I’m so sorry hun!! Feeling unwanted and unappreciated is not okay! You need to have a sit down conversation with your husband and see what he says and/or maybe he has some advice!!
Y’all need date night. Actual time together. Start dating again.
Did you gain a lot of weight when you were pregnant?
Men are like babies when children come along they can feel left out because of the obvious time spent with baby, but talk and make special time for you two, always have a set bedtime for children going forward as adults should have their own private down time too
I feel like im begging to love me the way I want love… Which is TO STOP TOUCHING ME SEXUALLY. I miss being held, I miss feeling secure…I miss just feeling love aside from any sexual…its just all too sexual. I cant remember the last time I was just held.
After successfully 5 days of Trading with
Mrs Lisa jennifer and I withdraw my profits I made a promise to her that I’m gonna share the good news to people mostly the US .if u’re looking for an account manger I’ll urge you to contact ma’am lisa jennifer she’s one of the best regarding to trade
Contact her through the name below
I will spread the Good work of Mrs lisa jennifer she helped me earn a lot of money during the period of covid I Never through am going it in life I lost my job fews months ago,i saw a lot of people testimony about Mrs Lisa jennifer on Facebook, how she help people trade on her company I thought it was a Scam:unamused:i give a try with small money left from me it turn to legit all thanks:pray:to you Mama:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:for making me a who am I today, forever grateful Mama 
reach out to her by clicking on the name below 
You barely knew each other when you got married. People can only wear a mask for so long before eventually you see who they really are.
you jumped into marriage less than a year after getting with him you barely know him so why you so surprised
Relationships don’t always stay in the excitement stage. They ebb and flow with your lives. Babies change your lives. You’re more tired, your focus is always on them etc. Marriage isn’t always about being “in love” it’s about being a family and being comfortable around each other.
Talk to your husband about creating a date night where it’s just about you 2 as a couple and you can put the day to day aspects of your marriage aside for those few hours and just concentrate on being 2 people who love each other.
When you first got together it was just you and him… all he was focused on was seeing about you… now that the baby is here he now feels the need to protect and take care of you and the baby… it is alot on a man mentally… not saying it’s anyone’s fault at all… maybe he just needs some reassurance…
Maybe he is tired and mentally overloaded,fine a way for date time,spend time just tne two of you
Why does this stuff keep showing up on my timeline? what the hell🤣 commit a felony together, it always brings you closer.
Talk to him… tell him how you feel… it’s the only way things will get fixed. Ask him what’s going on with him… and he’ll say nothing and you’ll say something is because you’ve changed and he’ll apologize and say he’ll work on it… and he will… you’ll have to constantly remind him… Relationships are a lot of work. It’s easy to throw in the towel the hard part is keeping it going… keeping it going will be more rewarding… y’all will get over this hump just communicate and don’t give up. 
So typically the first few months to a year (maybe longer for some) there’s that “puppy love” stage where you’re clearly head over heels and falling into love. As time passes and you began to get comfortable, things can seem more so “boring” or simply “not the same”. Especially if y’all sort of rushed into things, and didn’t get to really know one another. A baby can definitely stir things up because obviously that’s typically the main priority… you get lost in parenthood and tend to lose individuality, on top of losing one another emotionally in the process. I suggest trying to have an open conversation about love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch); what’s yours, what’s his, how can we achieve meeting our needs/wants, etc. etc. It really wouldn’t hurt to at least try to communicate those things. It could potentially help. Unless, he’s completely just over the relationship and doesn’t want to be with you - which, may be hard to hear and take in if that were to be the case.
Well I would try to have a talk with him about it. If he blows off the talk you should be extremely wary at that point. Keep an eye on him, If things keep getting worse suggest counsling, if he refuses you have some tougher decisions to make but for now I would see how he reacts to a talk about it.
Some men once they’ve produced an heir tend to think that’s it. However as you said just sex does not a marriage make and me like you want a full relationship in that bond. Intuitively even if you lay your cards on the table I don’t believe he’s mature enough to understand.
Fuck atleast u got to go on dates lol my gf I’m with now got pregnant the first night we hooked and now we have three kids together and still have not went on a date. Even once. We would like to but no one can handle our kids long enough for us to even get groceries together. All we have time for is quick shit now because we’re both tired af before we even go to bed sometimes we don’t even undress still sleeping in jeans and clothes from the day before. We would like for things to change but we don’t see that happening till our kids can be on there own so 10 more years and I will be able to take my gf on a date… stop worring about dates and wasting money and just do stuff at home. Watch a movie. Play a video game. Go sit in the back yard around a Fire. Take a bath or shower together every night there is different ways to show u care. I dunno if that helps u but worrying about dates and bull crap is a waste of ur time and sitting there complaining that u no longer do stuff is typical amongst new parents it’s just not expected u think everyone’s gunna be fine and happy not every time