I say do your research. The cost is for him is half the cost for you. Plus I had my tubes tied and ended up pregnant, it was a complete molar pregnancy and I ended up with a hysterectomy. There are so many things that could go wrong with tying tubes. For your health, try to sit down and look at real research on both. Do a pro and cons list. My daughter dad got it done a few years ago and went golfing afterwards. It’s not that big of a deal for men. It’s literally just a pinch and it’s over. Women go through it with getting tubes tied.
Your body, your choice. His body, his choice. Nobody needs to have surgery they don’t want in this situation. There are plenty of forms of birth control so you don’t have any more kids. Why is surgery even an option if neither of you want it?
I had it done and I actually had my tubes removed. The Gynaecologist told me it reduces the risk of ovarian cancer. It was day surgery, no downtime and no complications after. I say go for it … but make sure you act like you’re out of commission for a week!!
Simple, you’re no longer compatible.
That’s sucks because his is not invasive at all walks in 10mins and he’s out has to relax for 2 days and done but for females it is an invasive surgery and takes longer to heal probably cost more as well.
Get the Kyleena. I love it. Lasts 8 years
Honestly if your done having children then i would have the procedure done. . People break up every day. This way youll be set no matter
Her body her choice, his body his choice yall weird. Just talk to your doctor and find an alternative to birth control.
A tubal litigation can lower the risk of ovarian cancer. Recovery was 3 days. I went in on a Friday and went back to work on Monday. No issues- some pain but it was not invasive surgery.
Get fixed. It’s not a big deal healing isn’t bad and a female getting fixed is less likely to fail then a man. There’s bc and other choices. I got fixed because I didn’t want anymore kids and I wanted to make sure I was protecting myself since I didn’t want anymore.
It’s way more recovery for you and every one I know that has tubes tied have awful periods. Obviously results vary
Its not a we decision… whoever does not want more children should get sterilized… if you do not want to have anymore children then get your tubes tied… do not depend on another person’s body…this is beyond ignorant… get tied and move on…
A vasectomy is a procedure that has less complications than a tubal. It can also be reversed easier than a tubal. I can’t have anymore kids, it would have me on bedrest for the entire pregnancy and it would risk mine and my child’s life to carry ro term. My husband got a vasectomy. He’s also adverse to numbing so he felt his entire procedure, which is highly unusual. But he did it to make sure that his wife was safe.
If he can’t get a small 20 minute procedure, that typically takes a week to heal, max, he shouldn’t be having sex.
Felt almost the same way. Getting my tubes removed was the worst mistake I have made in a long time… I should have listened to my head… Sadly live and learn
It’s a lot more recovery time for you than him
You both also need to respect each other’s decisions, but I wouldn’t be having sex with a condom
I was in the same situation in 2016/17. I also did not want to use hormonal bc, as I’d been doing so for 20yrs. So we decided to use condoms, which turned into the rhythm method ( I know) and we ended up with a 4th child in Jan 2019. I don’t regret having my youngest, but it did change the family dynamic & 4 kids is A LOT. After we had him, my husband STILL wouldn’t go for even the consult & I ended up getting my tubes removed in Oct 2019. The procedure & recovery was relatively easy, but I did have VERY heavy periods for 6-9 months afterwards. But, bottom line is…I was 39 and knew I definitely didn’t want anymore children & that, whether I liked it or not, the responsibility was falling on me. I’ve tried to let it go, but I still kinda resent my husband for not even going for the consult, especially when I had taken care of the bc for us for 20 years. I hope this info helps you make your decision.
They literally tell you if the wife gets her tubes tied, that the husband should still get a vasectomy also. Women can get tubal pregnancies and other issues when the man isn’t fixed and the women is. At least my obgyn explained it and gave us all different information on it all.
Otherwise with him just getting it done you would still have to be on some form of BC for the first year after his surgery.
Nobody is forcing you to tie your tubes.
If you are absolutely sure you don’t want more kids, I say go for. I had mine done 12 years ago. It’s not bad. However. If there’s still a chance in your heart that you might change your mind, maybe go for thr merena or an iud that lasts a few years. They can be easily removed if you change your mind and replaced when the time comes
You should both have a voice over what happens (or doesn’t happen) to your own bodies. A tubal or vasectomy are not the only birth control options. Speak with your doctor and find the right route for yourself or require your husband to wear a condom.
Get the app FLO. Track your period. Learn when you’re ovulating. Use protection or avoid sex at those times.
Everybody is all my body my choice until a man doesn’t want an elective procedure.
Just don’t do it, if he can say no so can you. He can wear a condom every time
It’s easy procedure in and out same day. Just get it done. I felt same way after having all my kids but I just went and did it and left it alone
Try different birth control.
Your husband is a baby. You had the kids. He can do birth control.
IUD. Take Motrin before office visit. No surgery for either of you. Better pregnancy protection than tubal ligation.
Sorry but you will never convince me that a man isn’t being selfish in this scenario. It is SO much easier AND safer for him to get this done than a woman to get hers done in every. Single. Way… but if you arnt gonna be able to get him to do his share even after you’ve carried the babies, given birth and everything else, I’d suggest birth control on both ends. Don’t just you do it. Make him wrap it up too. Make him do SOMETHING at least.
If you are the one that doesn’t want to be pregnant you should be ok with fixing that. Who cares if he doesn’t want HIS vasectomy…that doesn’t stop you from getting your tubes done. It’s either that, birth control or abstinence…pick one… or get pregnant
Vasectomy greatly increases prostate cancer rates, I don’t blame him. I don’t blame you either though because obviously tubes tied carries a host of potential issues too. Look into long term birth control
Your body - your decision - the way it was meant to be
He needs to understand then, unless you want more kids, no sex until he does his part on birth control
Maybe he can wear condoms instead. I would add spermicide lube to be safe.
It is remarkable the way a man will ask a woman to risk her life to give him children and then turn around and tell her no when she asks him to have an outpatient procedure because he doesn’t want to. Just, wow.
This happened to me… i wasn’t forced but we didn’t want anymore kids. He didn’t wanna get fixed and I never wanted to bc of the fact some women have issues plussss I already went through having the kids. But then the thought of accidently having more kids. I ended up doing it. I wish I hadn’t just bc I feel like there’s no going back no reversing it for me and it makes me sad… where as a guy can get reversed… I wish I had done a birth control or something… but then I’m not stressed over keeping up with birth control… my periods aren’t as horrible anymore… I cramp every time I ovulate now. Idi what to tell ya I feel like either way all responsibilities will be on the girl bc let’s be real he isn’t gonna use condoms every time.
Why would understand that??? it’s ok for you to make sacrifices when he won’t do the same ?
I had mine done the day after my baby. It was like nothing happened. Not saying she should do it… just that my experience was next to nothing to go thru
Don’t do it. You carried the babies let him get fixed. That’s what I did after six I did enough so hubby did it.
Get pregnant again and see how fast he changes his mind lmao.
Use protecting then
He needs to man up.
It’s more dangerous for a woman to get this surgery than a man, with more complications that can occur during and after.
Decide what you want - and that might mean a divorce if he’s not willing to take the shells out of the shot gun.
I was in a similar situation with my husband. I refused to have the surgery to get my tubes tied. I almost lost my life due to child birth. I ended up having to have an emergency C-section and it took a while for me to recover. I ended up getting an mirena IUD instead. I had to explain to my husband and list the cost for both procedures of tubes tied vs him getting the vasectomy since we didn’t have insurance. Also I had to list and explain all the complications for both procedures and recovery times. Honestly my husband eventually realized that his procedure for a vasectomy was way less invasive he had very minimal cuts and it only took a week to recover. Out of pocket cost without insurance was 150 for consultation and 750 on day of procedure. He only had to miss about 4 days of work and he went to a urology specialist whom did his procedure. My husband had a good outcome of his procedure for a vasectomy.
I think it’s kind of immature on both sides- if you’re done having children then somebody should step up and just do it- no birth control is 100% effective.
Be responsible adults and figure it out.
I knew we were done having kids so I had my tubes tied bc WHO CARES - I didn’t even think twice bc it’s my body who births and I’m sick of birthing!!
It’s still your choice, if you choose to do it it was your call nobody else
Make him use condoms until he gets one. He’s only holding out for when he leaves you and a younger woman still wants kids… imo
I am a Certified Surgical Technologist, working currently in an OR. Trust me when I say it is MUCH LESS INTRUSIVE for a Vasectomy VS a Tubal Ligation, just based on the procedure alone!
If neither wants or is able to get their respective procedure done, they BOTH need to use protection against unintended pregnancy. Pill, Diaphram or IUD for her, and condoms for him. EVERY TIME, every encounter. There is nothing worse than a pregnancy when one is unwanted and unwelcomed!!!
Don’t do it because he wants you to. If you aren’t 100 sure.
If it were me I’d say no sex then. It would be minor for him to do the procedure compared to her. But I know my thoughts and the actions I’d take are pretty progressive.
Girl, you better tell him he needs to get his shit tied. Recovery only takes a few days and it can be reversed. Don’t you dare let him be controlling and act like a big fucking baby. This is some bullshit.
As a Catholic I feel like you should never be forced to do this. Many other options.
Protect yourself. Do it. If he won’t do his part make sure to do yours. You won’t regret it.
Why would you totally understand his reluctance to get a vasectomy? The only reason a man can have for refusing is the possibility that he will want more children…apparently, with a different person, since he’s fine with you having a tubal ligation after you have already done all the reproductive work. He’s being a man child.
You can’t force him to get a vasectomy and he can’t force you to get your tubes tied. You’ll have to find a compromise. Perhaps he prefers celibacy?
I told him if gets a vasectomy I’ll get my tubes tied,he said he wasn’t going to do it,I said well then I’m not getting my tubes tied. We used birth control.end of story
I went ahead and got my tubes tied because I was already going to be under the knife for my C-section. If not, then not only is it safer and financially more affordable for him to do it but the recovery time is a lot less substantial than yours. He will be up walking around in a hour as to where you will be down for the count for a good week or two minimum
When I was pregnant with our third child I told my husband that it was his turn to take care of the birth control. I had done it for over 10 years so his turn. He had it done before I had the baby and then no worries about summers.
Besides he could have it done in the Drs office and I had to have it done in the hospital. Best decision we ever made. Oh and by the way, it does not take away from his manhood
GOOD LUCK
Seriously. Two days of recovery he won’t even feel a thing.
But getting your tubes tied is a more invasive procedure and you will need time to heal. It isn’t a quick 1 and done like his is.
Why do women have to make all the sacrifices when we can only have 1 baby every 9 months but men can make multiple babies PER DAY. this is insane.
Use birth control how hard is that
If u don’t want anymore babies then get it
Neither of you should. Long term effects aren’t good for either. Family planning and use protection if you are unsure of your cycle. I’m personally against birth control too but that’s also an option.
Don’t do it because you’re clearly not sure.
Paraguard Iud. Good for over 10 yrs no hormones. Works for me
Use condoms or birth control
You might as well get it done because if he’s already saying no, he probably won’t do it later. I waited for my husband, and ended up pregnant again. But, I sure milked it. I literally did nothing for 6 weeks. It was truly the hardest recovery I’ve had but periods were actually better after. Everyone is different! Good luck to you!
You feel pressured but you are also pressuring him, neither of you should do what you don’t want, there are other alternatives for that.
If he can’t do it for you after birthing his children, he doesn’t love you. Why are you not listening to him? His male status is more important than you and your health. I would divorce him, problem solved. No more kids either
You cant force him and he can’t force you. I’d just be careful. You both have a right to make decisions about your body. Maybe look into having tubes removed instead, or another long term/permanent birth control.
Here’s a tidbit of info that may or may not be useful tomorrow some of you. If you know beforehand that this will be your last baby, you know you’re going to have a c-section, & have discussed all this with your doctor, you can have your tubes tied or removed at the same time as the c-section. I had mine removed because I was 43 at my 2nd (& last) pregnancy. I knew I didn’t want another one.
What about getting an IUD instead ? No recovery and same outcome as getting your tubes tied
He should get the vasectomy. Getting your tube’s tied is a lot more healing time, at least 3 days, compared to 1 day vasectomy. He’s being a whimp. Tell him if he doesn’t want anymore kids than he needs to be the one to undergo the procedure. Stand your ground! If not that start using birth control.
Um well there is other forms of birth control
Honestly where do men get the audacity
They clip them now . I was ment to get it but the side affects and things that can go wrong are to much for me I’ve told my partner he needs to get it as my body can’t take that
Use a condom? I don’t get this.
F him!!! I’m sorry but what an ahole!!! You had the kids, the least he can do is get a vasectomy. It’s 20min ans get gets to sit on his ass all weekend, which from the sounds od him he probably does anyway. I had to stop having Isex with my ex for 6mos before be finally agreed. Their procedure is so much easier than women’s. Sorry to be harsh but I am so pissed at BS men!!! Do something!! Women do everything. It would be nice to see a man just step up once!!!
Use condoms🤷🏼♀️ neither my husband or I want to get our tubes cut or tied so we use condoms no big deal🙂
Vasectomy increases a mans risk of prostate cancer. I would never force my husband to get one. Use other contraceptives
Get an IUD installed they are quite effective!
Not supportive. He is also responsible. Maybe put him out
of your bed.
I CHOSE to get my tubes tied after my 4th baby! Some people have made comments about “why my bf didn’t take care of himself” and honestly it bothers me. I have 2 kids before him and 2 with him. I KNEW I was done having kids and wanted to make that choice myself! Either protect protect protect or someone has to give in lol
For all you screaming “my body, my choice” yet making it seem like the man needs to
Don’t do it get on birth control
Not sure but I know in Australia they don’t usually tie tubes now the remove them
His body his choice, just like your body your choice. It definitely doesn’t sound like you are being forced except by your own brain. If you don’t want to, don’t. There are hundreds of ways to prevent pregnancy.
It’s much easier and less expensive for him to do it ! Let him do it !
I made the decision to get my tubes removed when I first found out that I was pregnant with my three month old. My husband didn’t want to do it and that was okay. Yeah the recovery was rough but I don’t regret it. Just do what you and your husband feel is the right choice.
To be blunt, I would tell that man- “I have already spared my bussy & body to birth multiple children for you. All YOU, sir, had to do was shoot them out happily & willingly. The least you could do in return is get an in-office procedure with a few days recovery”. I’d literally divorce lol. It’s just the lack of common courtesy & the lack of seeing the sacrifices you’ve made with your body & he’s not willing to do something pretty minuscule in return.