I feel so lost right now. My LO is 18 months and he is wonderful and happy and I am very lucky and happy to be his mama but I feel like I lost myself somewhere. I feel like all I do is take care of him and his dad, plus taking care of the house and working in the evening. He is dad is great and work really hard to take care of our family but he get time to himself alot more then I do. I want to be the best mom and partner but I feel like I am failing for the most part.
You just need a day off to fill your cup, mama. Is there a chance you could get a sitter for your little one so you can get out of the house for the day?
Tell your husband you need time to yourself for a few hours on weekends
Get away girl, let dad have time with his baby and you go do something for you. Do this once a week it will help you put the load down for a moment and when u had your time you will be able to carry that same load but more graceful.
Know your feeling lately but my kids are older but still feel it
Self care is an absolute necessity in order to be a great Mom and wife. You will not be failing if you hand off care of baby and house to husband for an evening every week (minimum) so that you can have a break for you.
Sounds like dad isn’t dad’ing.
There’s nothing wrong with handing him baby as soon as he gets home, and going to do what you want to do.
First…take care of YOU… Everything and everyone will fall in place… You fall… everything is a domino effect. Let’s not go there…
So make a plan with a friend and go do it. You don’t need to ask permission. Just tell husband that you plan to xyz and you will be out for x amount of hours. Try to do this once a week. You will feel much better
Men tend to be clueless about what homemakers do and need. Tell him you need some time for yourself. He can take care of your child while you’re out.
Talk to your husband. Communicate how you’re feeling and let him know you’re close to burning out. Tell him that you need help around the house. If you’re both working and providing income than the housework should be more evenly distributed. Also, if he gets some time to himself, he should understand that you also need some time as well. Even if it’s just a few hours to take a nap or go to coffee with a friend. These years with little ones are tough but it doesn’t last forever. When it’s over and your child(ren) are more grown, you’re going to want to have maintained a good marriage and regardless of how “good” he is, resentments can kill a relationship. Tell him this.
You live in a society that devalues motherhood and women. It’s not you
You are a good mom and a good wife but you need to demand your time otherwise you won’t be able to be good mom and a good wife you have to have time for you
You need to talk to a shrink and maybe he can help that’s what he went to school for