Sorry if this is long guys, my fiancé and I have been together for over three years. We have a beautiful child together, but I feel like I’ve been in a loveless relationship since we found out I was pregnant, so three years ago. I try to explain my feelings to him, but he just calls me sensitive and tells me I need to grow up and get over my anxiety. I asked him if my friend could take our child for a few hours while I get a break (Haven’t had a break in a year) and he said that he would take our child to the park without me, I don’t know what to do. I hate myself honestly, I feel like a failure as a Mom, my anxiety has been horrible lately, and I feel so lonely even though we’ve been together for three years. I love him so much. I’m also 100% reliant on him; I don’t drive, no job (except stay at home mom) I feel stuck and helpless. Please send good vibes or advice.
If you feel like you are in a loveless relationship then he is not REAL. Find a way or make a way to leave. There is someone waiting to find you to reciprocate the love you have. … Kathy from Georgia 
You can be a great mom and person on your own, take your baby and get out of a relationship that isn’t everything you want, you deserve better.
I felt this way after my son was born…turned out I had severe postpartum depression. Literally all the things you are describing I felt. I didn’t seek help for years because I didn’t know what it was. It only took 3-5 months of outpatient treatment at a clinic to turn around. If these feelings are overwhelming, please seek help.
I hope it gets Better 
definitely get help for the anxiety…you will go far just from that trust me …and start doing more for yourself…your not a bad mom for needing space or getting away now and then but the more you do for yourself the more confidence you will have !!! …you will also be set if you need to leave and it doesnt work out …but I’m sorry your man should want and help you do some of these basic things like drive etc…encourage you to get out there …if he doesnt …is he really any good for your wellbeing ?? I hope it’s not an abusive controlling situation where he wont let you do anything …but put all your fears aside honey a better you is out there ! wish u the best !!! Know your worth then add tax …these men do not have any say over us …we are our own I hope you have some kind of support over there !
So… you don’t want him to take the kid to the park? 
You are not alone. My son will be 3 soon and I am only now feeling better. I am still trying to crawl out of what feels like a neverending pit. I am also a SAHM. Becoming more independent and finding something to focus on outside of being a mom has helped. Although it took me this long to be ready to try. Sending you positivity.
It sounds like you might have lost your mojo. You need to gain more independence with driving and or doing more for yourself and increasing your options and choices. Get into some more interests, hobbies, and start to feel better about yourself. We all are struggling with pandemic and isolation on top of everything. It may not be that he doesn’t love you, it may be that you are too dependent on him and he can’t carry all that weight emotionally. I’m not defending him, just looking from a different perspective. It sounds like you want to work it out. Maybe a counselor could help you work through your anxiety and you could get yourself feeling better.
Sounds more like depression to depend on him, i have felt the same so as hard as it would be i looking for jobs and a daycare for my little girl. Being at home all day long its a lot, and not interacting with people and just your fiancé puts way more stress on both
Remember we as a woman we are so different from them, the way they understand what we say, im not saying he is right calling you anything, its more in the part how they express or not their feelings.
Not be hard on yourself and if he can give you a break, take it and get your hair done or whatever and enjoy that me time.
My dear, I was married to my high school sweetheart for 6 years and together for a total of 12. We divorced because we were young when we fell in love and we didn’t know exactly what we wanted. Til this day, we are great friends and coparent just fine. I moved away and started a new life…I ended up getting pregnant with some guy I was dating…I am not one to ever consider abortion. I know my consequences that comes with my actions. At first, he didn’t want the baby. That was already a red flag but I continued to stay because I wanted to be a family. After he came opened to the idea of the baby he treated me well. It was when I had the baby everything changed. Like you, I couldn’t express myself… I was stupid for feeling a certain way, etc…I moved out and moved on…my now relationship. Dated for 3 months, engaged, had a baby, and now planning a wedding. He treats me well. He listens to how I feel and he never make judgments on it. He knows how to communicate without ever hurting me when we come to a disagreement. Trust me, when it comes you will know. I have never been so happy in my life. I get to marry my best friend. So please don’t be hard on yourself, you deserve so much better than what you are receiving. Take your baby, and go. Start a new life, if he’s involve with the baby, don’t take him away. Let him continue to be involve. But you don’t have to stick around for someone who obviously doesn’t know your love language. Best of luck. Your Prince Charming is out there somewhere. Take it easy.
So why stay with him. Why be with someone you don’t love… Don’t stay because of the kid… Leave him and take the kid… Stay single and move on.
We need more info to really help you here. As far as the relationship goes, I was in a marriage for 10 years with reversed roles. And I can tell you that it’s a lot more stressful than you might think to have it all on your shoulders. I would come home and have to shower and relax for a few minutes before I could even handle the issues in the house or play with my kids. Also with men you have to be specific. You can’t say it feels like you dont love me. Instead say you never take me out or you dont show affection or whatever is specific to your situation. Also I would recommend becoming less dependent. It feels really good to learn to be self reliant. Get your license and get out there girl. It’s a game changer. Also sounds like some post partum as well. Maybe seek treatment for that. And if you already have done or said the things stated above, he is gaslighting you so get out asap. Slowly work your way to getting your own job, car, and place. I sincerely wish you the best. It’s not easy being momma.
Why not let him take your child to the park so you can get a break?
Seek therapy for the anxiety it truly does help.
Know your worth, one thing I will instill into my kids heads is to NEVER rely 100% on another person. That gives them power over you. Maybe consider finding and at home job, (call center, insurance, Amazon) to make you feel a bit more confident in yourself anf not so reliant on him. Its tough but mama you gotta be strong and again, know your worth! You matter and mentally struggling isn’t good for you. I wish you the best and hope your situation betters for you 
I would do some research on emotional abuse. The isolation and gaslighting whenever you try to bring up how you feel might be red flags 
It sounds like post Partum depression, I have it and I feel the same way def seek help from a Doctor. It also doesn’t help that he doesn’t Validate your feelings but some men really avoid having to deal with emotions and I don’t by any means think that’s ok because it’s not. My husband was like that. I honestly would start with the doctor, second try and make yourself a little more independent if you don’t know how to drive I would say try to get lessons somehow it’s hard but your not alone.
before you just throw it all away… just check that you’re ok first. see a Dr. it cant hurt to speak to someone.
I take my hat off to you women you’re amazing. so strong. good luck
Need to love yourself 1st. Get a part time job, really does help the ego then everything will follow behind.
Find a good day care or babysitter , put your big girl panties on & find yourself a job. Or go back to school. …part time. You need to find yourself & do it now
Oh. Sweetie. If you can’t drive because you don’t know how to ask him to teach you. Then focus on getting a job. Maybe he feels you are too dependent on him. Maybe him asking to take the child to the park was a way of him offering to help you, and not so much him saying he doesn’t want to spend time with you. Maybe next time say I would like us to go out together, my friend said she would watch our kid for a few hours. That way you leave the ball in his court. If he doesn’t make any advances on it then maybe take the kid and go to your friends and have fun there. After you express how you feel. A few times and he still doesn’t so anything to change it then leave. I know that’s dramatic but if you express how you feel and they still act like they don’t care, it’s because they don’t.
I was in a situation similar to this with my son’s father. I left him almost a year ago. I was with him for almost 3 years. When we first got together things were great, then slowly things started going downhill. He ended up getting sick and got diagnosed with epilepsy. Which put a major strain on things. Within that same year I found out I was pregnant. With our son. He seemed happy at first, that’s when all the red flags raised and I WISH I had listened to them. He told 2 people our son was a mistake before he was born and I didn’t hear that he had said that until months after. I still stayed because he loved our son and loved me. Or so I thought. Throughout the relationship he was always lying and cheating. I would suspect it check his phone and I was right EVERY SINGLE TIME. but I still stayed, because he loved me and our son. I wanted our family together, and didn’t think I’d find anything better. He was mentally and verbally abusive, he became violent after seizures to the point where he once shoved me against a wall. I wasn’t hurt but I could have been. Luckily my son was in the kitchen with my mother, we were in the livingroom. I finally left for good in August of 2019. I had enough I waited until after our son’s first birthday so there would be no drama or chaos, a few days before he kicked me out of his place over an arguement. We were arguing ALL THE TIME. over anything and everything. It looked like we hated each other. Then, he stopped talking to me for a week. No texts, phone calls, nothing. In that time I met someone. And he gave me more of a reason to leave him. So after my son’s birthday which is August 14th (he will be 2 this year 
) I decided it was time to leave. I met the man I’m with 5 days after on the 19th. And left my ex about a week later. And then after a bit I got together with who is now my current boyfriend. September 4th 2019. Almost a year together not one arguement, not one hurtful word has been said, and he treats my son like his own, 3 months into our relationship I ended up pregnant (I was on birth control and it failed) and our son is due this month on the 20th 
a day after I met my current boyfriend the year prior. Don’t stay because you love him, I did that and look where I ended up. Don’t stay for your child you can coparent. Don’t stay because you feel you need to because you’ll ruin your life. Leave, because you’ll be a better person for it! Goodluck love! 
Well hun ,he’s only your fiance if you have a wedding date set. He’s just your boyfriend. Sounds as though your wasting your time. Get a job, and move on
A stay at home mom is the hardest job I had. I did it for 10 years. I know how you feel. But the only thing you can change is yourself. So start small. Get a drivers license. Then a part time job for your mental health. Don’t take on to much at once. You will be surprised how much better you feel if you take care of yourself. Remember baby steps. Slow and stead. You can do it. I did.
Your anxiety may be playing tricks with your brain. Also the fact that your 100% dependant on him may make him feel some kind of way. Work on bettering yourself and becoming more independent. Get some play dates in a walking distance. Also get a hobby. If you dont take care of yourself your not going to be able to care of your baby. Just breathe all moms at some point need a break and all moms feel quilry for doing for themselves its natural
Honestly yes you would feel stuck becouse being a mom requires a lot of time and you don’t have your own independence. No car no job I think you would start to feel better if you started work even if it was very small amount of hours moms need breaks to and feeling important from a spouse can be hard just rember you have a lot of worth you are worth it start trying to make some goals I think getting a drivers lince would help if you don’t have one good luck its a chalange to be a mom and find ourselves ps.many wemon have been in your shoes
That’s the problem
U r so co dependent on him that u relay on him for everything and when he offers to help or something u feel it’s not enough
Becuz u want him to do things with u at all times
He offered to take the child to park… that’s not a bad thing. Its do u can rest
I feel ur anxiety issue is ur own thing that needs to get resolved.once that is under control u will be able to relax and enjoy.
where is ur anxiety coming from?
Go out to the park go start a hobby or start online school u will feel a lot better.
Loveless relationship
Learn each others love language
And go on dates again
This can solve the issue
Before u end ur relationship…start with urself. St John’s wort helps a lot with dealing with emotional health
Definitely find a job!!! Get your kid in a good daycare program (churches have great rates) LISTEN TO THIS PLEASE!!! IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE A GREAT JOB FOR YOU TO BE GREAT AT IT!!! Find a good employer with benefits AND DO A GREAT JOB… I promise they will notice!!!
Dump his ass. Dont sit there feeling unloved for any damn person. If he dont care then you shouldnt either. Leave and start new you don’t need anyone tbh. Love Yourself so you can teach your child self love. A real man will come along that appreciates, listens to you and will do everything to be with you.
Happiness comes from within…you can’t find happiness with others until you figure out inside what you need to make yourself happy. Sometimes a professional outsider can help. You can only change yourself in this life, so my best advice would be to change the way you are a player in the game. Maybe you could search within yourself to figure out which things you would need from your man to make your situation seem less loveless and then share that when you find the right time. If your man does not do anything to help the situation you must get your strength from within.
He needs to listen to you. Anxiety kust doesnt go away. I have it. You need a break let his daddy take care of the baby give you at leasy a few hours. I used to go sit in a store parking lot and just sit and think.
my advice to you would be for you to work on you! you need to learn who you are and what you need like and want.
Whatever you do, DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER CHILD!
Start working on you as it’s becoming clear you may be on your own someday soon. Get your driver’s license, get your education, get some confidence you are worth it! Your child deserves to have an independent Mommy!
It sounds a lot like post partem to me (yes it can start when hormones from pregnancy start) men don’t understand it really, so he might genuinely not know how to help, and him saying to get over your anxiety, could have been his way of saying to find a therapist and get better. He definitely should have found a better way of doing it if that’s what he meant. I’ve been with mine 10 years, 3 kids, and there is definitely ups and downs, miscommunication, ect. Especially the first couple of years after the baby is born, because you have so much to relearn about each other plus other stress. Only advice I can give is, have an honest, calm conversation, tell him you’re not happy but want to fix it. Go to a therapist, go to one together, get a job, do online college, have date nights. It’s going to take both of you.
ALL moms need a break from the kids, that don’t make you a failure. I highly recommend you getting an education and work experience behind you so that you do have options. I have been in a loveless marriage for to many years to count. Our children are grown and we’re starting on grand kids now. Even tho I work I only make a bit over minimum wage and going back to school is not an option and leaving is not an option. Your still young enough to start a better life for yourself and your child. I hope you will explore other options.
Stop right there. You have felt unloved for 3 years and when confronted with it he says get your anxiety in order. Honey, if you feel unloved and have brought it to his attention and he does not move heaven and earth to make you feel loved, then he does not love you. And when you ask to get a sitter (assuming for you both to have alone time) and he says I will take her to the park, he is not even trying to help the situation. Been there done that. My first husband joined military and we were 3000 miles from family. I did not have a license or car or job. He kept me “barefoot and pregnant” as the saying goes. I was stuck at home while he was free to hang out with friends and go to parties movies and such. I stayed for 10 damn years thinking things would change and they never did. My advice to you is this. Go to him one more time and tell him you feel unloved and unappreciated and if he wants this relationship to continue then he needs to show through actions what he plans to do to fix this. Now it is not just on him to fix it (low self esteem issues sometimes weigh in on these feelings) but do not cause them. Tell him you expect to get a sitter so that the two of you can spend quality time together. One date you pick what you do and he picks the next. And if he fails to jump on the chance to fix this, get out while you can. Just because he is the breadwinner does not mean you NEED him. Prayers for you and your family. I hope things go well for you.
Well you could get a job that way you feel like your doing something that being said it would be a good idea to know his scheduled work hours to avoid having to find and pay for a babysitter. If you need a babysitter try only asking a reliable family member and only make it for one day a month just for you and him to have date night. Also try seeing a doctor for your anxiety issues and let them know that it gets in the way of your daily routine. I hope you feel better god bless
You are a great Mom. We all need breaks. You also need alone time with your fiancé. Both of those things are important for you and for your relationship. I wouldn’t ask him, I would just make playdates for your child. Then its considered a play date for you child and not you trying to have alone time. You can reciprocate by doing the same for another Mom. Many times its not always understood by men how much you need time alone just to feel like a woman, a wife/girlfriend and not always just a Mom.
Get your drivers license! We all did it you can too ! And get a job the confidence you’ll get to by yourself will make him look at you differently and you’ll look at him and yourself differently !! You’ll have the power to do what you want and you wont be desperately dependant on him ! It worked for me and he did change towards me for the better but then i didnt want him anymore ! Now I’m divorced and strong and steady on my feet ! FEELS AMAZING!!! Confidence baby
There’s some great advice for you here! Good luck. 
I’ve been a single mom for 17 yrs and focused on my goals. There were times I got 4 to 5 hrs sleep in a week because I went to school during days, work weekends and holidays and come home to my babies. I adopted 2 baby girls and it does get very stressful. I dont know how I did most times but I’ve always managed most days. Consider your goals and try seeking help before you do something that will change your life forever. In the long run, youd be tired all the time without support of others. I decided to put my granddaughters in daycare so I can sleep and rest.
I have had anxiety and postpartum depression so I’m saying this honestly: maybe it’s your anxiety / depression causing you to feel this way falsely. Don’t let that kill your relationship. That was very thoughtful of him to offer to take the kiddo to the park to give you a break. I don’t get that offer. I suggest you seek professional help and get a driver’s license. I think having more confidence in yourself will be beneficial. If you can drive yourself, you will feel more confident in what you can accomplish. Ditching him isn’t the answer. I’m telling you this as an at- home mom who has been married to the same man for 20 years. Not all those years have been happy. They won’t all be. It takes determination to get through the unhappy hard times.
I was a stay-at-home mom with three kids but I was married. I never got any ‘me time’ until the youngest began school. Their father NEVER watched them or even changed a diaper or help feed them (when they were babies). Since he worked, paid all the bills and I got to stay home - I felt extremely lucky but overwhelming at times - but I did the best I could do and we were fine.
He offered your a break from the kids then take it. Take some time for yourself, but if you think for any reason a man will support you and do for you like apparently yours does that doesn’t love you, you really do need to get professional help. I’d be is not abusive, figure you out.
I’m sorry but if your mate is telling you to get over your anxiety that does not sound very supportive he should be willing to do whatever he can to help you
I really think you need to speak with a professional. Do it for you. You owe yourself that much. You could be dealing with postpartum among with other things!!!
What’s wrong with being sensitive? Sounds like he could use a little sensitivity. Be strong. Stand up for yourself.
Try to find a part time eve job it will boost your self esteem and give him a chance to feel the caregiver role. Sometimes you have to make changes and get out of the rut
You said you feel very lonely . does your s.o. work a lot ? Maybe you can join a fitness group just for. Human interaction . maybe a church idk . he seems like he genuinley cares . he did offer to take your child for a few hrs . you said you feel lonely …is it for his attention ? Or other adults ? Being a stay at home mom is very demanding and can consume much of our resources so we crave friendship with others . see a therapist for the depession if it is a diagnosed issue. Stay on your meds if you are on them . you might have your vit d checkex . if it is low it can exacerbate depression . maybe you and the fiance should think about going out once a wk to spend time together. Maybe a trusted relative could watch the wee one for a couple hrs so you guys could re connect the bond .
Start your own business for as little as $99 ! That way you’ve your own money and you don’t have to ask that man for nothing! Then if you feel the need to get out you’ve money for you and your baby. Then you go to your courthouse and hit that man up for child’s support. Then maybe he will realize what he has done ! Interested in starting your own businss hmu .
Its postpartum you sound just like me
Communication. Never stop dating. But do you love him or the stability he has given you? I made that mistake with my ex. He gave me what I wanted so I thought I was satisfied but there is so much more than that
So go find a job! Then leave!
Why did you feel bad about getting a break? Why do you think its loveless? You said you love him 100% so you think he doesn’t love you? My advice, get your hormones checked. Pregnancy can screw w them and if everything is really ok in his eyes, you bringing it up all the time is going to push him away. I know from my own experience. Also, if you can get a little job to make you feel better and less dependent then you should. Gonna be hard w a 3 year old though