I stayed here in AZ for my kids. I grew up without my dad and I refused to put that on my kids. It was extremely hard, but now that my kids are adults I am glad I made that decision. That was my journey. Their are families that are able to make it work.
Its not selfish. You deserve to be happy. I don’t know the legal steps that would have to be taken. Would you want full-time custody ? Will you have a support system where you go or would you rely on daycare ?
It’s not selfish to leave a town that toxic for you. I would not pick somewhere 10 hours away because that would be way too hard on all 3 of you. I wouldn’t go more than 6 hours away. Then bring it up to dad and just talk like normal people and see if you can agree on a visitation schedule that would work and then use a mediator instead of going to court. Mediators are easy on all those involved. Don’t expect too keep full custody of you choose to move though, you could end up with visions paying child support. Would be best to talk to a lawyer if your child’s father won’t be civil. You child is starting to grow up and the 3 days with each parent and switching isn’t going to work much longer anyways.
Maybe you can find somewhere closer to move to. That way you can still have a change of scenery but still be close enough she can see her dad.
It will be too much for her and you are being selfish. How will she be able to do a 50/50 split of custody when you are 10 hours apart. Unless you intend to leave her with her father to go live by yourself and give him custody you need to suck it up. Expecting him to lose custody of his child because your soul doesn’t feel like it belongs there is insane.
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I’m dealing with this and decided to just stay it’s not fair to take them from a good dad cuz I’m not satisfied here…I got the rest of my life to move once they are grown
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Everything is for the good of the child. If you have an agreement you have to show the move is for the good of the child if dad isn’t for the move might not be much you can do. Get a lawyer. Make the best of what you do have in the mean time
Following as I am going through the same. 
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