I feel like I was a second choice

I have been dating this guy on and off for about 3 years. We have one daughter together and 3 i had previously. He use to cheat consistently and even admitted he used me alot for a place to stay. He tells other woman how pretty they are and such in long paragraphs but has never told me anything like that besides once in the start of our relationship. Well he moved away for about 6 months and had his fun with other woman. Told a girl he was moving back to our state because he was waiting on her and staying with a cousin which was far from true. He was staying with me and was supposed to try our relationship again for our family and because we missed each other alot. Same chick he told he was coming back for is the same one he kept talkin to for weeks before moving. He would ignore her while talking to me and video chatting and vice versa. I found out when he got here that, that is why he would ignore me for a few days as well. Since i told the girl everything she has been blocked by him. I really want this to work between us and he seems to have changed alot and is very happy with us but i just cant get past feeling like 2ns choice since i have been so many times and seems to be as well as this time and the whats ifs like what if i dindt find out about the chick. So im asking do you think he will change? Is it worth the try? Im at a loss and need help please.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like I was a second choice

Gain some self respect for yourself and stop taking him in and back. You clearly dont need to rely on him for money etc if hes staying at your place. Think of the kids is this an example you want to show them about how to be treated i sincerely hope not. Change the locks block his number and set up a court order for visitation of his kid.

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Run away as fast as you can he’s not gonna change and all your doing is letting him do it by keep taking him back

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Reread your post as if it was written by someone else you didnt know. Would you still be so forgiving of this guy? Absolutely not. Hes had his chances to do the right thing and missed all of them. You deserve better and your kids deserve better. You don’t need him. If you have to question this at all then its not right for you. The right guy wont stop showing you how much he wants you and will fight for you, not against you.

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He won’t change because your easy! He can chest and he always knows your take him back! It’s a horrible way to live and not fair on your child him Coming in and out there life!! Run for The heels and stop
Being a push over

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Red flag! Kick him out! Let him have a relationship with your daughter and tell him you want to be friends if that’s what you’d like but stop letting him stay, make him grow up, get a place of his own and set the example to your children that if this is what a person does, that they don’t deserve you.

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Of course he wont change! He stopped because he got caught out. And just because he got caught out with her does not meen he still doesnt do It with other women.

Would you want your daughter to be treated the same way that you have? There’s your answer, good luck

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RUN SISTER cause he will never change the more you let him do it the better he’ll get at hiding it!!

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trying again “for the family” is such a shitty thing for your children. just because you have children involved doesn’t mean you should be a happy family. obviously he is a cereal cheater, that will never stop. he has completely taken the piss out of you and your kindness for far too long. what do you want your children to see? what kind of environment do you want them to grow up in? they aren’t stupid, they know and see when their parents aren’t happy. living in that environment is no good for children. you definitely need to leave his ass in the gutter and be single. children need happy parents, sometimes that means the parents have to split, for the better. forget staying together for the children, split up for the children.

Read what you wrote again and see how toxic this whole situationship is. You have a kid together but you’re dating?? Come on. He’s not gonna change, without him you won’t be stressing about this bullshit and can live your life happily with your children. I suggest therapy for yourself as well before getting into another relationship. But kick him out and never look back (even when you miss him), it’ll pass and eventually you’ll only kick yourself for not leaving his pisstaking ass sooner.

Girl get the f**k out.
He’s not changing, he hasn’t had respect for you since day 1

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If one of your children came to you and told you their partner was treating them this way, would you encourage them to stay? Would you want someone treating them that way, devaluing them so blatantly.

The longer you stay with the person the more you reinforce to yourself and your kids that this is what a healthy and acceptable relationship is. That’s what it looks like when someone “loves” you.

He doesn’t love you, he doesn’t want you, he wants a fallback that he can come back and bludge off of everytime his side relationships fail.

Do better for you and your kids, expect better from the men in your life.

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If one of your daughters was in this situation what would you tell them
It’s up to you but you and your family deserve better x

Nope! Bye bye! He’s a liar and a cheater. If having a child together wasn’t enough to commit, what makes you think he will now?

Why is this even a question

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