My boyfriend’s sister moved in with us not too long ago (maybe 2-3 months at most) and things were good up until recently. She only pays roughly 250 sometimes less depending on the water bill and she covers the internet bill which is under 100 monthly. We cover EVERYTHING else from our natural gas, electric which can range into the low to mid 400s depending on time of the year. She doesn’t have a car as she claims that she was unable to afford it and let it go back to the dealership that she got it, so we have also been playing taxi service for her. She has put gas into the tank MAYBE 2-3 times since living with us and taking her car back, but has things she needs to do monthly as well as a 5 year old daughter who also needs to go places for varies reasons so we are out the extra money toward gas. I was recently informed by her boyfriend that she has been complaining to him about us leaving the house and not informing her that we are leaving and how she assumes when we leave it is to go get some fast food but we don’t offer to get her anything. She has maybe taken us out to eat 2-4 times since living with us. My boyfriend, her brother, works as a farm hand so often times when he gets off work he is dead tired and I am around 33 weeks pregnant with a high risk putting me on strict bed rest until our baby is born so I can’t be doing too much leaving her to either cook for herself or wait for her brother to cook which he usually does dinner then I clean the dishes. She doesn’t do any household chores outside of washing whatever she needs to use at the time when she does need a plate, fork, or something then her laundry but cleaning the dishes from dinner, cleaning up after the kids in the house, and everything else outside of her room is put on me. Boyfriend claims that she is helping enough that he doesn’t want me to say anything to her, but I am losing my mind.
Forget that I would b saying something
Never ever ever ever live with family members or friends. Lol! It’s rough, but truth. There will always be head butting which ruins relationships and friendships. I lived with my sister and her family before and although I didn’t pay, I did ALL laundry (7 kids and 3 adults) worked, cooked some and picked up.
Rule #1 and one of the most important, Never move in a family member, PERIOD!!! Good luck!
You need boundaries and a written rental agreement
I would have a family meeting disscus with your spouse first rules/ money situation than sit down with her
It’s never too late to set boundaries. Ok, you assumed she would be an asset when she moved in. She isn’t. Now, you must set boundaries. If she doesn’t like it…then she can go elsewhere
Nope. Not okay. My brothers live together and are all over 18. They equal share all cleaning, bills, rent and then are independent of each other in all other aspects. They cook their own meals, do their own shopping, what ever they need for themselves. House responsibility is for everyone but day to day existence is their own responsibility. She is a grown adult and needs to do things herself or it’s going to cause nothing but conflict esp when baby comes.
Family meeting. Rules or she can find another living arrangement.
Your pregnant and at high risk she shouldnt even be putting any extra pressure on you!! Stop giving her lifts and dont clean up her mess if it gets messy you can tell your boyfriend to clean ot himself as hes the one who doesnt want you to say anything xx
You always have 3 choices: accept the situation, change the situation or leave the situation. This is a hard lesson that you are learning.
GOLDEN RULE: Do not move anyone into your house ! 
I would say look at the difference in utilities from before she moved in until now. Say if your water bill was 50 dollars and since she moved it is 100 dollars, she should pay the difference each month for each utility. If that averages less than the 350 she is paying now, then I’d chalk it up to paying for her gas. If it is about even then she should pay you something for gas each week. Really she should probably pay something for transportation anyway as it is also putting wear and tear on your vehicle.
These amounts also all depend on whether this arrangement was supposed to be temporary or not. If she was staying with you until she could save and move out, personally I’d insist she save as much as she could so she could get out soon, but that’s just me. Especially if she was already unable to afford her car, sounds like not a lot of saving is going on. If it wasn’t discussed to be a temporary arrangement then by all means she needs to pay a lot more, probably split everything three ways.
Either way she needs to help out around the house. I would he darned if I was cleaning up after a grown woman and her child in my own home. Nope she can clean up her mess as well as her child’s.
She needs to gooooo. But now you have to evict her
Now for the future you will learn this lesson in boundaries and how to say no. Don’t let people live with you. Unless you vet them and they have a solid income to support their share. Say no more you’re allowed. 
You need to sit down with her and give her a list of expectations. Your boyfriend needs to be on board with you. She either needs to step up or step out. She’s an adult and needs to start acting like one.
And if you go out for food- you are NOT obligated to ask if she wants anything or to buy her anything.
If you are driving her places, she needs to contribute to gas cost or she can take a Uber.
Sounds like her rent needs to go up to accommodate for 3 mouths, not 1. And have a talk with her about how you feel. Just say what you mean, and don’t say it mean.
Sister needs to move in with HER boyfriend!
You shouldn’t have let her move in to start with
She needs step up! ALSO, GROW UP
I realize this is after the fact, but going forward, say no to people that ask to move in. Meanwhile, I would bring it up again to your boyfriend. If you’re unhappy, then something needs to be done about it.
I cant believe youre paying her uber/tranportation. This should soley fall on her as its not yours or your husbands fault about her car. Youre putting a roof over her head and i would ignore her complaining about you leaving. You dont have to tell her nothing and shes lucky shes trusted enough to be left in your home by herself. Now i dont know what her plan to move out was but much further into the disrespect and i will say your husband needs to get on the same page and set better rules. And dont be afraid to look her in the eye and say “No”.
How old is she ? N yes…she should carry her own weight.
Depending on age. Tt your partnet about your feelings and state the pressure you feel n how much it matters to you. The ex stress will affect the baby tell.him
She needs to take over the cleaning n at least cleanup for herself. Shes def taking advantage. The world owes her nothing. Id personally go above him and make a statement to her. This is a priveledge to live here…we dont haveee to do it. I am pregnant and sick and you either clean up after yourself and cook some meals or leave ! Simple as that.
These things become clear from the beginning, living with other people is problematic, limits must be set, we cannot allow ourselves to be abused.
Time for the 3 of you to sit down together and talk this out . You need to get your partner to understand the pressure this is putting on you . You need the sister to step up with more help . You are not there to run around and support her and this needs to be worked out .
All expectations should have been discussed and set in place BEFORE she moved in.
If you set expectations and she agreed, but is not upholding her end, then I would remind her of those expectations and tell her that if she can’t live by what she agreed to, then she has to go.
If no expectations were set, before she moved in, then it’s time to have a conversation with her now and come to some type of agreement, that works for everyone involved.
If you avoid the topic, it’s only going to get worse.
All of these things should have been spoken about amongst you before she moved in. Mot sure why people move others into their home with no conversion of what the expectations will be. You need to have a convo with your boyfriend and his sister together and create boundaries and expectations.
Boyfriend on. Put her out.
Don’t let people move in with you
I absolutely, totally feel this myself right now. She can either start contributing more or it’s time to give her a time to move out. Everything is expensive right now. People need to help pull their own weight
Give her a two week notice to vacate the home.
YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN and have a discussion (family meeting) and discuss your issues or it’s only going to get worse. It’s gonna probably put a strain on your relationship with your man BUT you are being used, hardcore 
I understand that she’s family (his family) but you’re going to end up having a nervous breakdown if you don’t speak up 
good luck girl, keep us posted please. 
Sorry not sorry either she steps it up or she’s gotta go if the boyfriend has an issue with it then he needs to take over what she’s not doing then let’s see if it’s enough, he should also be asking for way more money then he is if she’s not helping with anything including food!
What I have learned over the years is to never move anyone in without an exit strategy and an exact conversation about what is expected. Time for tough love here. She owes rent she pays it and that includes A. B. and C. No way should it include taxi rides, that’s crazy. Get her a monthly bus pass ONCE and let her figure it out after that. I assume she is an adult with a job, or capable of working. Time for a conversation with everyone at the table
It’s your house! If they don’t like the rules, they can find some place else to live. You don’t need to put up with that BS.
here’s the thing, you have to set boundaries and also be very very clear what your expectations are. Me, personally I’d work this out with my husband/boyfriend firstly so that we are on the same page. No more free rides!! Bills should be split by every adult in the home. If it’s 3 adults then all 3 adults share a part of every household bill, all of them except personal bills like cell phones. And then everyone is individually responsible for their own food, taxi, gas, and rides around. I would not be paying anything for her. I would not be giving her free rides, she would be required to pay for gas if I’m going to use my car. Then make sure you give her a copy of the expectations. Tell her if she isn’t willing to adhere to your rules then she will have a certain amount of time to find her own place. Stick with it
sounds like it’s time for her to move out and be on her own… Quit enabling her to be a mooch…
Why is her boyfriend complaining on her behalf? Why does your boyfriend say she does enough?
Her bf has no authority here.
Sit down with your bf and write down all expenses and chores. Calculate the time required for chores alongside expenses. Then discuss what’s equitable. He needs to see the reality here.
I’m wondering if he’s thinking his sister will provide free babysitting after your baby is born?
In any case, make an agreement about chores and expenses and then both of you should sit down with the sister. However, your bf needs to take the lead, because he’s her brother. She needs a copy of the agreement. Post a chore chart.
She thinks she is your daughter and expects everything free. Time to have a talk!
Set a chore list. Explain how things are getting different with a new baby coming and new boundaries and chores will be posted
250 a month that’s not bad as well as extras I’ve never charged that amount for family members living with us and hubby .just ask her if she could give you little bit extra tell her your struggling with all the bills it’s hard living with family members you all have to Muck in helping one another including chores .if she doesn’t like it tell her maybe she would like to find other accommodation to see if she can find something better
Your boyfriend doesn’t wanna fight with her I’m assuming. And no. I’d split the bills 3 ways, all of them. If she’s not buying groceries I’d add that in too. With the fast food thing I’d maybe say like, I don’t mind picking up your food as long as it’s at the place we’re going and you order yours beforehand (most fast food places let you order online for pickup now) that way she has to pay for it and you don’t have to worry about it. I’d make everyone a weekly chore list they are responsible for. Maybe get a dry erase calander for that kinda thing so they can see/check it. And if no one wants to agree to this fair equal arrangement most people deal with as roommates. Then you in the meantime secure a new place to live and tell them Goodluck on your way out.
This is bound to continue- either deal, or kick her out. Or leave and tell your boyfriend he deserves her. This is a learned behavior passed down by —- family.
Sorry, but time for her to leave.
She needs to live with her man. But it does seem like she is contributing she’s taking you out for food put gas in your car give money for bills maybe she doesn’t have any more to give.
She will only get by with what you let her get by with
I learned the hard way so she can either help or get out
So she’s likely paying over $300. Internet isn’t cheap, so “under $100” I’m guessing is probably pretty close $100. Does she have her own room? I’d say that whether she does or not would affect my opinion of how much she should be paying, but honestly, I think that’s a pretty fair amount. I rented a room at a house for a while and I paid about the same as she is, with all of the utilities included. I will say that she could help more with some of the tasks around the house though. I personally wouldn’t expect or ask a sibling of mine, going through hard times, to help me with bills. Everyone is different, but I think a lot of people feel the same as me, so I can understand why her brother is content with what she is doing. If you don’t like driving her places, just discuss that with your boyfriend and make arrangements for him to do so, instead. It kinda seems like maybe you’re not a huge fan of her (I mean saying she “claims” she couldn’t afford it seems like an odd thing to say, because why would she give up her vehicle unless she genuinely couldn’t? But it appears that you are questioning that) so that could definitely affect the way that you’re feeing about the whole situation. Maybe you could get to know her better and just start asking her if she would mind helping you with different things around the house/if she could contribute some money towards gas etc.
Strict bed rest means just that. You should not be cleaning anything. You are putting your baby at risk. Let her fend for herself and don’t worry about it until baby is safe and out.
All I can say is GOOD LUCK with this headache of a situation…you’re in a loose loose situation. Your BF doesn’t see a problem she doesn’t see a problem and her BF wants to point out what she thinks is a problem. You and your BF are just going to end up arguing since you were told to leave it alone. If you talk to her she’s just ganna cry to her (brother) your bf…
Nope. She needs to start contributing more to bills & household chores or she must go. You have kids to worry about so put them and yourself first. Your boyfriend can get upset but you can’t carry on like that 
Ew touchy subject. I would not want to take this to task 
end up bad for you either way
Had the same thing happen now we are homeless
The boyfriend should pay 2/3. Poster is pregnant with his child. He should cover her. Sister should pay 1/3 plus her own and her daughters expenses as well as any segregated food and pay the IRS allowance per mile 65.5¢ for rides or half if they are going to the same place. They are doing her a favor.
Sounds like her and her boyfriend need to move in together.
Sounds like you need to have a sit down with her and discuss boundaries and her upping her rent too at least $500 a month screw that
So, you want her to be your maid, cook & do childcare plus pay half the bills & gas in the car?
This is your place & shes staying with you a bit. Paying you a monthly stipend, buying some groceries, taking care if her child & cleaning up after herself & her child plus helping with gas for her rides is really all that should be required of her.
I would be out…done deal.
Tell the boyfriend she either helps more or she gets out and if those 2 options don’t happen then you leaving
So she’s lived with you about 8 to 10 weeks. In that time she’s paid you roughly $500, put gas in the car several times, and paid for dinner several times. I’m assuming this is a temporary situation where she’s supposed to be saving money and getting on her feet? It doesn’t sound like the worst "roommate” by far, sounds to me like you guys are just getting on each others nerves, which happens when you put grown women in the same house.
Do wat your boyfriend is telling
Don’t put the stress on u
It’s his sister
Let him deal wit her
Never let anyone stay in your home if you’re not willing to deal with the headache
Think twice
And think hard
And if you have to
Set boundaries
Set rules
Set chores
All adults sit down and talk about how things are going to play out.
Make sure what you say stands.
So she’s paying roughly 350 a month ? How much do you need her to pay how much has the bills increased s Since she moved in?
Split bills 3 ways on things she actually uses that’s fair if she can’t then she needs to go or get a better job
Boyfriend wants to take care of his sister. That’s fine. But leaving it to you & causing a financial burden on you is not. You NEED to leave. Go live with a family member. Let him deal with the chaos. Take care of yourself & baby.
Time to give her the boot
It’s not just gas money she owes. What about compensation for your time and labor driving her around!? Tell her to go ahead and pay for Ubers if she doesn’t wanna pay you. Tell her if she can’t clean up after herself, she needs to stay in her own room. Kitchen privileges are for people who clean up after themselves. She sounds like an entitled brat. I don’t even live there and I can’t wait to be rid of her!
Lol I had a brother in law like that. I kicked him and his deadbeat wife right on out
Just from an outsider perspective … you are 33 weeks pregnant and your emotions are heightened, that said maybe push her to get a job or a better job or get more assistance from the father of her child
Does she have a job? How does she get money to pay u? I think she needs to pay more. like she needs to be paying 500 a month or something
Ur allowed to leave and not buy her anything.
Should have set boundaries and voiced your expectations BEFORE she moved in…at this point you are just complaining…it is his sister and if he doesn’t see a problem like you do…you will lose. There is a whole lot of information missing to form any kind of conclusions at this point…alot of missing information perhaps they already discussed and you aren’t aware of.
Does she have a job? Is she paying all her daughter’s expenses? Was this set up as a permanent or temporary housing situation? I think you and BF need to talk first, decide on the outcome you can both live with, then sit down with sis and nicely explain expectations. Maybe it’s allowing her to save up to move out by the time your baby is a year old. What other kids are in that house besides her daughter? Can you encourage her to get services like subsidized housing, food stamps & Medicaid if she’s eligible so she can live on her own?
Do you work outside the home? Be sure you have enough money saved in your name that you could leave & afford a lawyer and 3 months rent. Hope you never have to escape your man, but you should have enough money saved that you could live on your own.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and hope you have an easy labor & delivery and a super healthy baby.
It is NOT going to get better. It will only get worse - especially after your baby is born. Cut your losses now and deal with the fallout. The sooner the better. Give the sister 2 months to move out with her daughter. They can go live with the mom if they need to.
Write out all of the bills and divide it up to show her how good of a deal she is getting. She is taking advantage of you and just cause it’s his sister he’s letting her get away with it. I am a petty b!tch, and would make it known she’s a burden, make her miserable there until she leaves on her own.
So id say since its 3 adults in your household that you calculate all bills rent/mortgage, trash, water, electric, natural gas, internet, etc then expect her to pay 1/3 of that cost. If yall share groceries expect her to pay 1/3 of that as well. If yall peovide her transportation then she should cover all the gas she uses bc thats not even including vehicle payments that yall make, insurance, or maintenance on vehicles. She should also be helping with all household chores, not just her room. If she were living on her own she would be responsible for her own bills and cleaning so she should be responsible for those things in your household also. If she cant afford 1/3 of costs then atleast 1/4 of it because as an adult with a child she should be expected to cover her and her childs expenses.
Get rid of the parasites!!! There is no such thing as until I get on my feet it doesn’t happen it doesn’t exist get them out now people have to be hungry and homeless sometimes before they wake up and get off their ass,!! Make it happen or you’ll go down the slide with them and they’ll just step over you and on to the next sucker!!!
She needs to go, not a benefit to anyone
She is grown, give her notice now.
She needs to go ! Or Else a strict list of things she needs to pay for and chores to be done .
Bf needs to throw her out
You three adults need to come to better financial agreements, it would be fair to ask for her to pay a percentage of the bills, if there are currently 4 people she should be responsible for half of the household bills and half of the housework. You 3 need to come to a fair agreement put it in writing and stick to it. Since you stated you are supposed to be on bed rest, and it sounds like you NEED her to help more around because of your pregnancy you could discuss charging less until you recover from child birth. Your boyfriend and her need to understand with you being on bed rest orders you should do no housework at all, not even dishes. I know a couple of ladies that did not follow the bed rest orders and they lost their babies.
The problem is you haven’t set clear FIXED expectations. The fact that her bills and expectations are VARIABLE is the problem. You need to sit down with your BFs sister and say you owe us X dollars a month which includes rent and utilities gas whatever (a number both sides are happy with) AND the XYZ chores she’s expected to fulfill. Make dinner 2 times a week, clean this part of the house, whatever…… the fact is you’re doing her a favor letting her live with you for cheaper than she can afford on her own and allowing her to use your car/gas. That is the only way this will work.
Its her brother? Your the girlfriend, pregnant and can’t do anything? Sounds like the Bacon maker makes the rules, His house his money his rules, if No one else likes it , dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. The master chooses who and how he spoils the charges? Seems like theres more than one fox in this hen house and the rooster is steering clear?
Lol this is crazy. Is she a child??? If not, just be straight with her. Period. And if she doesn’t like it, then she can find another place to live in.
Speak to your boyfriend. Tell him you want more help from her side or she can leave. You two are expecting, no need to care for a grown ass child and their own children as well
You are being petty. If she wasn’t there you would still have to pay. she is giving you money and cleaning up after herself. Your hormones are in an uproar due to your pregnancy. Would you be losing your mind if that was your sister. Or would you be upset if your boyfriend complained about your family. This is his sister family helps family. I would never complain about my partners family unless they were disrespectful
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Kick her out.
She’s freeloading.
And he’s a coward for allowing her to disrupt his family’s peace bc he doesn’t want to “hurt her feelings” - yet is watching it tear you down like it’s not happening.
When you trade peace for silence you start a war inside yourself.
Kick her out.
Time for a house meeting and to set a better rent payment and house rules. A time line for her to move out wouldn’t hurt either.
If you do it set boundaries and out your foot down she will continue to take advantage of y’all and it will only get worse. She is already at a point of expectations and that is NOT ok. She is running your home currently . You and your bf need to sit down and have a heart to heart, let him know what it is doing to YOU and don’t just blame her otherwise he will get defensive. Then you BOTH need to have a talk with her about expectations of living in your home
What is it with women putting up with so much crap these days? It’s not COMPLICATED. If it’s not right and you know it’s not right, speak up and make a change for yourself.
No, I would have her bags pack and have her out.
What arrangements were made or agreed to before she moved in? If she is holding up her end of the deal then you need to decide if you want to revisit things and make changes. If she isn’t or no clear arrangements or agreement was made, you all need to do that. If she can’t or won’t agree to the terms, then she needs to look for another place to live.
She need to live with her boyfriend. One woman per household
Been there .I would tell him she needs to pay more or get out. If he doesn’t listen more out. If she can’t afford to pay she should be cleaning. For the gas part if she doesn’t pay don’t take her.
Your problem is with your bf. The two of you needed to work all this out beforehand. If he’s working and you aren’t contributing financially…it’s even messier. It sounds harsh, but it’s almost never a good idea to allow anyone to move into your home. Once you get her out…don’t repeat the mistake. However, since it’s his sister and it’s already underway…you can only hope to sit him down and explain how you feel. Be honest and tell him what you want and expect and see if you can get him on board. If he wants to keep helping her and not ask any more of her…you’ll have to find a way to get your own place or suck it up until he decides he wants her out.
kick her out. give bf Ultimatum. u or her. fuck all that noise. ur about to have a baby. it just gonna get worse from here