Ever since I had my own family and own place, my own mom and family that lives with her barely put in the effort to see us. My nana is the only one that can barely get around but everyone else is healthy as a horse and can come see us. I used to take my kids over every weekend, but I noticed they wouldn’t put in the effort, so I stopped going over. Plus, every time we did go over, they were just so negative bout everything I talked about, as well as drama all the time. Whenever I do go over to visit out of the blue. My family is always asking my kids, “why do mama and daddy keep you away?” “Why don’t you come to see me?” Does my mom have any right to try and pick up my kids and take them for the day? I want her to visit more often and consistently before I let her take the kids anywhere.
Perhaps if you let her have the kids one day a fortnightshe could bud a relationship and visit more often
Don’t worry about them and do your thing mom! Their loss if they don’t want you in their lives.
Why would you want constant drama
I found I could do just fine not seeing most of my family. I continue to see the ones that do make the effort, but stopped trying with the others. You’ll be happier if you realize you’re better off.
I’m a bit confused you’re saying they don’t visit you but then asking if you should let your mom take the baby. It sounds like maybe they are putting in effort of some sort it just doesn’t look like you want it to look. I would ask you too look at this hard perhaps accept them for who they are and allow them grandparents to see grandkids and try not to control it all. I would also say that an in depth discussion is totally appropriate about the constant negativity. Kids generally benefit from having grandparents but if it’s not healthy it’s not healthy. Follow your mom instincts.
My response would be I would love for you to cie by and see the kids! When do you wabt to come by?
I tried forcing relationships…doesnt work. Just stay to yourself. Better off…especially if they are negative people.
You do what makes you and your family happy. After all it works both ways. Stop running around, chasing after them, if they can’t make the effort to do the same. Im in the same situation. I’ve stopped visiting, they know where I live. Merry Christmas
Dont waste your time putting effort to people that cant do the same for u if they ask.just plain tell them straight out. For now keep your family happy and content good luck
No she doesn’t. And tell her why you don’t go over., just put it simply.
I’d be straight up honest with her. They are your kids not hers. Yes she’s your mom and their grandma but it’s got to try to be at least a 50/50 relationship or communication. It’s not fair for you to chase family, especially when it comes to your children and what they are exposed to (drama, negativity).
If they don’t make an effort why should you?
You’re little family is all you need they are the ones who will always be there I learned the hard way cut the rest out you are only hurting yourself watch how happy and peaceful it is when you see who truely loves and cares for you!
My parents visited this house once from the time we moved here in 1972. Then My mother visited once more when she rode down this way with a friend who needed to go to the next town to check on a rental she had there. I went to see them at least once a week for many, many, many years.
You should read this out loud and see how you sound. My mom lives next door and barely comes over but if she wants to see my kids great. It’s about them not my own selfish feelings.
Focus on u and YOUR family screw the part timers
In my family us kids are the ones to get off our butts & visit my mum. She worked hard & raised us for a lot of years, so whatever we can do to make her life a bit easier now we do. She has my son for sleepovers all the time & they’re always off on days out together 
I feel like if she prefers you visit her then why wouldn’t you? Does it really matter? That’s your mother, why be petty about it?
Have them put forth the effort. If they don’t even contact you then do they really care to see you or your kids? You’ve put forth the effort, and it only brings you stress, so stop going over and contacting them first. If they put forth the same effort, then obviously they care and you should continue to see them.
I pick my grandson up all the time
So you would deny your children a day with their grandparents because they don’t visit you enough? Goodness if they complain that much when you visit i think you should count your lucky stars their not all up in your business. But don’t deny them a day with the grandparent over it if they wanna take them out. You can always do a BBQ or something and invite ppl over. That’s the only time anyone ever comes and visits me. No one ever visits me. It used to annoy me but you know what. Its nice and I have my own stuff going on. I can’t relate though as parents though since my mom has dementia and in a nursing home so no matter what I have to visit her. My dad has been dead for over 20 years now. And my children’s grandparents are either passed as well or too toxic for my blood.
If you question it and don’t feel comfortable with your mom taking your kids then she shouldn’t, I wouldn’t like the bad talk and the negative energy around my babies either, it’s a 2 way street, but I would communicate with your mom 1 that you don’t like the negative talk with the kids and 2 that you want her coming around more often. Just a suggestion. But your babies your rules and the babies need parents to stand up and protect them even if it’s from grandparents unfortunately. You’ll make the right decision for your babies 
Girl, my family is full of drama and unfortunately I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather my son’s grow up having a fulfilling and joyous/positive childhood than grow up seeing people constantly argue, fight, curse, etc. As much as I would love for my kids to grow up surrounded by family, I had to ask myself “are they going to remember the good times or the bad?” “Are they going to grow up thinking acting and saying certain things is ok” I started thinking about what lessons I wanted them to learn and ultimately decided it was best to distance myself from my own family. My children come first and if they’re not respected or prioritized by others then those other people don’t need to be around.
Have you had a conversation with your mom? I know how difficult it can be to tell our parental figures our feelings, especially when or if we don’t want to hurt theirs. However, maybe (giving the benefit of the doubt) she doesn’t realize how it appears to you and how it feels. Opening the lines of communication could open eyes. Maybe the two of you can come to an agreement of sorts, she can pick up your kids for a day of fun, but you would like to have a few visits prior. A couple at your place a couple at hers. Then as long as there isn’t any safety concerns, let them go have fun. Just think, you get a few hours of you time and the kids get grandma time.
Of course she doesn’t have any right. You’re the mother and she can’t force you to let her have the kids. She can’t even demand you bring them over to see the family. Don’t let toxic people ruin your life or your relationship with your kids.
Well if they are negative and full of drama all the time, I wouldn’t want my kids around them without me there to monitor. Especially while they are very impressionable. If they don’t make the effort to come see you, then that’s on them. You should still go see them when it’s convenient for you to do so, but don’t make it a chore for yourself.
I feel for you I pray things will get better soon I no it hard my family was like that but things did get better
I come from a family like it’d also but I still took my kids around and when they got a little older as children they made their own decision if they wanted to go or not
Work it out put your hurts aside and work it out your children will benefit as well as you and your family. They are only small fir awhile then they make up their own minds
In my family my mother is deceased. My father got married to a another woman and had disowned his kids and grandchildren. They are his family now. I have 3 siblings who are full of ego and never made effort to be part of my or my kids life. I tried to bring our family together but now I just gave up. It is what it is just accepted and cant force somebody to be in your life. Never saw none of my nieces and nephews grow up. Some have only seen once or twice after my mom passing. Families are very toxic with all the drama. I rather be alone.
I dont deal with toxic people…they can try and if they make those comments after you say to not do it, then bye…
I would put exactly as much effort into it as they do. 
Know exactly how u feel my mil lives right down the road never calls or comes over
Grab the phone and hang it up. When the family asks why tell them not to say crap like that to your kids or you won’t talk to them. If they want to see them they can make the effort to come visit. The road goes both ways. Throw it back on them and say you feel like they don’t care because they don’t make an effort to come see you guys.
We never had a family get together ever for anything
Shame on you my mother comes first in all things she is 94 worked hard all her life and did with out, she raised 4 kids on her own now with getting Alzheimer’s she doesn’t remember our names I never kept my kids from seeing her even living 1000 miles away I cry every time someone comes to visit and when they leave she ask who was that at least 6 times or calls me that girl so shame on your selfish self
Grandparents have no automatic right I went through years of hell with my toxic family x