I feel like my fiance is acting suspicious...advice?

Delete if not allowed: but me and my fiancé have two sons (one son is not biologically his) and a third baby on the way he has been acting sorta suspicious lately and he seems distant this third pregnancy wasn’t planned it was a surprise but he is always on his phone he takes his phone to the bathroom with him he never leaves it anywhere near me yet I don’t have his password nor do I want it I want to trust him and I wouldn’t invade his privacy after our second son was born which was in 2021 probably about 3 months after he was born he did cheat on me with a girl he met on Snapchat not physical cheating but he was sending her pics and she was sending him pictures of herself (no clothes) and I busted him cause the girl ended up sending me all the screenshots of their conversation cause she found out he was engaged and had kids idk if it’s just because I’m pregnant and I’m just worried or what but I just feel like something is off and I love him so much and we have been together 3 years idk if it’s my mind playing tricks on me cause of the hormones or what


Sit down with him and have a civil conversation. See where that takes you first. Lay out your needs and discuss it together. If he continues to not show up for you after you’re clear about what you need from him to feel happy and supported then he’s never going to.


Trust your gut! If he did it once, he’ll likely do it again.

Don’t blame the hormones. If you feel something is off….It probably is… why would you live this way? He does not provide you trust and security you aren’t even married save yourself a divorce. It is never late to be happy.

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Trust your Gut! Your Gut is your truth.
My Gut never failed me .
I don’t think you want to face it ,you want to be happy with him and your babies and that’s what your heart wants. Of course it is.
He probably lives you but dose he respect you? :pray:… Good luck … you have your precious babies they come first ! Remember that . :100:…xxx


My motto is once a cheater, always a cheater. All they need is the opportunity. So sorry to hear you are going through this. Trust your gut. :heart:


Always trust your gut. If he did it once chances are he will do it again. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. :disappointed:

I take my phone into the bathroom. It’s like my newspaper. I don’t find that odd at all. But if you’re having a gut feeling and you don’t have full trust then you may as well hang that relationship up now.

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Trust your instinct- if something feels off then it probably is… have a talk and see what he says …

Talk to him about your concerns you have every right to especially after past incidents. If he has nothing to hide he will happily put your mind at ease and show you his phone. If he gets defensive and does the opposite then you have your answer.


Trust your gut even though others have already advised that

When my gut wont stop telling me something is off, it has always been right

Trust your gut. If you think he is cheating, he is. I’m sorry you’re going through this, especially while you’re pregnant.


Living with and marrying someone who you don’t trust is not going to be easy. Your gut is always right in my experience and the longer you wait to deal with the emotions and suspicions the worse they get.


Sit down and talk to him. Don’t go in accusing him unless you find evidence. Voice your concerns politely.

There would be no privacy between commited partners

Me personally I don’t think a relationship will ever be good once one is caught cheating because the other person is always going to assume he/she is cheating when something changes, rather it be the phone, the way they talk, the things they say, the relationship will never be the same and it’s a waste of time to try again I’ve done it so many times and regret it.


If he’s acting suspicious then there’s something going on. If you can’t trust someone then you don’t need to be with him. I left a relationship where I could not trust my husband. I refused to live where I can’t trust someone. We were married over 20 years… Don’t be like me and keep waiting because a leopard never changes their spots! I wished I would have left many years ago when I first noticed signs!!!

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He has broken the trust in the relationship once before, and that would be hard to repair.
Once a cheater always a cheater. I’d say you’re right to feel suspicious. Ask him upfront without warning to unlock his phone and give it to you, if he won’t then he clearly has something to hide and you have your answer

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Talk to him. There should be no secrets in a marriage. If your gut calls bs during the talk then call it what it is.

So what did he do after cheating to actually rebuild the relationship? Or was it swept under the rug? And treating you good/honeymoon phase isn’t it… he needs to have done some hard work with a therapist to figure out the reason he couldn’t be faithful.


You should have his password, and he should have yours. It’s not an “invasion of privacy” to have access to each others phones. If you’re not in the type of relationship where that’s possible, you need to seek counseling. And go through pre-marital counseling before you get married.


Once a cheater always a cheater

My ex-husband use to do that. If he is taking his phone to the bathroom everytime, he is definitely cheating. Since then, I have had my man do things for me in my phone and vice versa. He never remembers my codes, but I am fine if he does. Nothing to hide. We both know what it is like to have someone cheat on you so there is transparency at all times.
Once a guy cheats on you and you take him back, the odds are high it will happen again. As hard as it is, I would be done.

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I think you should trust your gut. The fact he’s already done it before I’d be worried too.

If he always takes his phone with him, he’s cheating. Plus he already has! What more proof do you need?


Most definitely cheating.

So he s cheated, didn’t feel guilty or responsible enough to tell you about it, so you decide to have more children with him and still call him your fiancee? Why are you asking people what’s up with your relationship when you already know the answer? He is going to snap all kinds of other women, you allowed it, he’s going to dm other women, you allowed it, he’s going to gaslight you and say your hormonal, you allowed it. You just keep allowing it and then act like your the victim in this situation. Girl, you allowed all of this. Damn, he never even apologized the first time stuff happened. Never made any kind of attempt to gain your trust again because he doesn’t need to, you just keep giving him options to do whatever he wants. He’s going to take those options.

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You are not crazy just because you’re hormonal from pregnancy. Don’t let anyone convince you of that. Too many people try and convince women they are mentally unstable simply for standing up for themselves. Don’t allow it. He did you wrong. You have every right to invade his privacy until you have healed from what he did to you. Therapy is always good too… BUT NOT JUST FOR YOU. He needs to work to regain your trust and again, you are NOT crazy for feeling the way you do. I’m so sorry hun, but you certainly deserve better.


I dont have a lock on my and never have. Neither did my husband. Sounds odd.

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Why do women put themselves in these situations? Not married. 3 kids in 3 years with a guy that has a history of cheating :woman_facepalming:t3:You don’t have children just because you can. You need to be a responsible adult and respect yourself. I don’t understand why women don’t respect themselves more


If he was sus once he will be sus again. You need to straight up talk to him

He did it before, he will do it again and likely is right now. You know what is going on. Stay if you are ok with it. Leave if you are not.

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No one is more single than a man with a pregnant partner… He also already cheated. He is addicted to the feeling of it. Just accept him or leave.


It’s time to move on. Baby number three and trust issues. This isn’t good for you or the children. You move out or he moves out .

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Put a cam in bathroom. Might be doing it again

You already know. The question on here is just your way of asking for help to confirm the truth. Don’t second guess yourself. Plan to move on.


Once a cheater always a cheater

He’s already gone. You’re moving way to fast.

When you have to ask a whole bunch of strangers instead of your partner you already know the answer :disappointed:


Trust your gut like the above comment says…

Kinda sounds suspicious :thinking: :eyes:

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Talk with him !!! I’ll say it again… talk with him. Tell him how you feel. ASK to see his phone.

I would walk right into the bathroom if he was going in with a phone.Im that wife,privacy sure but respect is another.

I’d bet intuition, we women tend to pick up on it when a man is being dodgy… they get away with it once they will do it again…

I’m a guy and I say u should just ask him. Tell him how u feel and try and be open with him. And say I would like to check ur phone if u don’t mind and be like if ur talking or sending messages it needs to stop now, and make him prove it. If he won’t or doesn’t show u then u need to leave him. U already caught him once so he has to earn the trust back and this is how. If he can’t do it then u need to leave him


This is exactly why I don’t stay if I get cheated on, even just on Snapchat. I’ll leave if someone even has the wrong tone with me idgaf :joy:


The four pillars of a relationship- accountability, responsibility, loyalty and trust - this is only strengthened through communication and cooperation.
Once a cheater 8/10 will always be a cheater.

Plan on being a single mom…


Always trust your gut feelings. They don’t lie.

Girl, he is cheating, one way or another!!!

ALWAYS trust your gut. He did it once, usually they do it again.

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Ooo girl…ur intuition is telling you something is off…listen to it.

OK you just said that you trusted him but you have listed many reasons why you should not trust him and now he’s suspicious 

Nothing is normal about anyone taking their phone to the bathroom…


I went through the same thing. Girl he is cheating again. DO not put up with it. If he knows he can get away with it he will keep doing it. And staying because of kids makes the situation even worse


Marry him so you can Atleast get the bennifits of divorce, since Courts won’t help or even acknowledge “Almost Marrieds”, sorry but if this is happening in your relationship now, it’s pretty much going to end eventually so Be Wise. And if the marriage ends up working out, Then Fantastic!


It’s only suspicious if you left it be. If he’s at work, would you be suspicious of his calls, emails or texts? If he works like I do. I have my phone everywhere. 2 options… ask him or dont

Your gut and heart always tell you the truth hunny follow it please you will so better off in the long run I did this for 3 years and ended in so much heartache so please follow your heart sweetie I know where your coming from mine did all this too and more…but I lost 2 babies and got pregnant again with my rainbow baby who I adore so much

Just keep this in mind. A man who will cheat on you while pregnant does not respect YOU or your health or your child! It literally just takes gonorrhea to cause blindness in babies. Cheating on a pregnant woman is as low as you can go in my opinion.


Why did you take him after he cheated on you the first time??

Ask him how he feels about this pregnancy. He may be feeling put upon with too much pressure and responsibilities to support all of you and looking for an escape. Is he still intimate with you?

Do you work outside the home? Can you support your kids on your own? Do you get child support from your other baby daddy? Sit down together and budget for the future. Then by yourself budget for a future alone. And be better about using birth control. It’s way cheaper than being a parent for the rest of your life.

After the first cheating I don’t think he should have privacy anything.

It’s weird we consider a phone privacy after having sex with someone

Unfortunately, pregnancy increases the odds of men cheating. The reason why isn’t fully understood.

Also, he broke your trust, so he needs to earn it back. Sounds like you two are due for some tough conversations.


Its not because you’re pregnant,its because you are in denial.
Sorry, but he was already emotionally done with the second baby/ cyber cheat going on then.
Healthy partners do not do this or behave as he is now.
Invade if you must if you need anymore of that sort of ‘proof’ ( you don’t)…to confirm what you already knew then.
You would be wise to plan in a life without him as a partner and start arranging for such…including Court for ordered monthly c.s.p & legal custody visitation parameters…for the 2 he is the father of.


Not sure why him not being the oldest bio dad was relevant at all or why you would stay with a cheater to begin with and then act surprised that they’re doing it again

Um, your subconscious is literally telling you something is off. And you’re also just letting yourself be taken advantage of. Privacy? That went OUT the window when he decided to use Snapchat, which is a red flag in itself, to send pics to other women. You’re tripping dude. Privacy, lol. Look, my husband and I never even confirmed this open phone policy we have with each other. We just don’t care. We leave it out, if I’m putting the baby down to bed, I don’t even have a single worry or care in the world if he opens my phone up if I left it downstairs or wherever. He’s the same exact way. It’s just out in the open, zero worries, and that’s how it should be!! Y’all brainwashed dude. “Privacy” lol.

He seems to be a heel! Lose him, or learn to become his go to for sex.

Just leave and stop wasting your time

You’re asking the wrong group. These people will have you paranoid as hell.

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Once a cheater, always a cheater. U already know u should have left. Your dating a simp

Why keep on having babies with a man who has already proven that he can’t be trusted?


Sounds like cheating again, im sorry

That’s how it starts. For your own happiness, LEAVE!!! That way you don’t regret it down the road

Trust your gut i thought something when i was pregnant and i even cried to him for being insecure and what i felt he reassured me but then after the baby was born i found out xx so just trust yourself you know him so if he has changed there will be a reason x

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Trust ur instincts. Your probably right!

Once you said that he has cheated before my first thought was that he’s doing it again. I do not trust cheaters and I believe once a cheater always a cheater.
Sit down and have a talk with him about your concerns.
I know that if my husband suspected me of cheating, I would just hand over my phone right then and there and ask him to look through it. If your husband doesn’t hand over his phone then I think you have your answer.