Ohhh nooooo, that is way too much for a four year old
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If dad keeps it up she will decide in time that she doesn’t want to go there. Punishment for a 4 year old not bringing home enough smiley faces is absurd.
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Child abuse - ought to be ashamedly
So what exactly is she supposed to do?
That’s extremely harsh, for a 4 year-old, but unfortunately you don’t have a say. He’s the parent.
Honestly? Nothing. You’re not the parent, the granddaughter is not in danger, there’s no cause for concern. You may not agree but the kid’s life isn’t being threatened because she’s been grounded. Take a step back and let the parent parent
WAY too harsh. She’s only 4. That’s absurd. If you haven’t already I would communicate with her dad your concerns.
As an early childhood educator, I can say that behavior is COMMUNICATION! It is our job to figure out why undesired behaviors are happening by asking what the child is trying to tell us. The most common things children are trying to communicate is attention, escape, access, or automatic. The child likely needs help learning self-regulation skills and it seems like they do not have a very good parental example for learning self-regulation skills from. It takes time. Behaviors don’t develop overnight and they don’t go away overnight either.
The parent should connect with the teachers and ask for help in teaching self-regulation skills and social skills to your grandchild. Many times, children just are still developing their social skills and they need support to help guide them and remind them along the way.
Discipline does not equal punishment. Punishment does not have long term benefits.
Nothing… you are not her parent. Love her, listen snd comfort her; thst is your job in this situation, Grandma.
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That’s bloody cruel I wouldn’t dream of taking my daughters toys:sweat:
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That is way to long,kids at that age don’t retain memory or why they can’t play after this length of time.
Speak with the teacher so both can have a better understanding sometimes they verbally address the great work instead of stickers instead of a harsh punishment get an understanding
And people why there are so many messed up adults in the world…poor parenting.
This has got to be made up
At that age it should be a day maybe two of punishment. I have a 4,6,7,8 yr olds . I get behaving in school is important. But what did she do not to get the smilies . Talk to much ? Not stay in her seat ? Stole a toy? Fought? Punishment shoukd fit the crime / age.
This Punishment seems harsh to me.
That is unreasonable. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime at all and 4 year olds’ memories don’t go back that long.
That said, as the grandmother, there’s little you can do. Your daughter needs to handle this. As long as she knows, it’s on her to address it.
That is awful! Smh. Sadly you can’t do much but that’s too much for a 4 year old
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Not every day do stickers and rewards given. They may get a “verbal good job!” They are not there so to punish for no real reason is unreal. Poor kid is just learning.
While I agree that it is harsh for a 4 year old, he’s the parent and y’all can’t dictate what he does at his house. I don’t mean to be mean but that’s just the way it is. As long as he isn’t abusive to the child, there’s nothing you can do.
Sounds like a lot of people need to mind their business 
imagine trying to parent someone else’s child 
…I bet half y’all would be mad as all get out if someone tried to parent your child
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It’s harsh, the child wouldn’t even grasp the concept of what is happening and why.
A 4 year olds brain isn’t even ready to comprehend “school” yet. This is too harsh, she’s trying to learn to be a human.
That’s lot, she will having problems when she get older
They don’t understand that kind of punishment at that age. Dad needs parenting classes. You can’t do much though, if the parent doesn’t want to listen to you 
Lil much for a 4 year old to me. They are just learning how to process things. Hope Dad is talking to teacher to ask why so he can work with her at home. She may rebel getting use to punishment
4 years old?! Wow that’s completely ridiculous.
Positive reinforcement!!! That’s terrible. You need to continually encourage them not knock them down. If you as a parent doesn’t build thier self estem than who will. They need to know if they try thier best that’s what you expect. I mean the kid is 4! REALLY?
From what I’m picking up is that she is your daughters child. First thing I would do is communicate with her to see how she feels about the situation because ultimately she’s her daughter. She’s only 4. She cannot mentally understand her punishment. If he’s going this far on a child this young I can only imagine what other forms of punishment he finds suitable, and that worries me about the long term consequences on a small child. If it were me I’d be seeking some sort of custody agreement and see if parenting classes would be available. That’s just my opinion though.
This could be psychologically damaging to a child, and therefore falls under the category of abuse and neglect. It is an unreasonable punishment. And it can be reported. And that would be my suggestion to you. To sit there and not allow a child to develop and grow, and set unreasonable expectations is unbelievably damaging to a child. You’re better than me, because I would have been reported it.
I just want to edit. You said the parents do not live together? Have you considered reporting it to the mom so the mom can take it to her legal advisor to let the court deal with it? That would be a good suggestion as well.
So we know who’s going to the nursing home when he’s older. Smh she’s 4 that’s harsh
Can you give him some parenting books? Invite dad to take some parenting classes with you, “because they’ve learned so much since we were kids and we might as well learn what’s new and what works best now that the research is in.” That way the info comes from “the experts,” not “meddling mother in law who thinks I’m a lousy parent.” Plus, you’re telling him everyone, including you, has a lot to learn.
Maybe tell him to watch Supernanny (the British woman or the American one) for great ideas to help everyone stay sane, and reference something in a specific episode he might find useful. Give the same advice & books to mom so you’re not seen as playing favorites.
My husband expected perfect kids but books & classes helped him a lot. Thankfully he was willing to learn. It really does make life easier when you use best practices. To be the best team player you need good coaching.
My kids don’t get grounded for grades…I expect they put in effort and pay attention and do what they’re supposed to. 4 is a little ridiculous to be “grounded” that is still a toddler, her first round of a school environment and she’s going to HATE going at an early age. So sad.
It IS unreasonable! She’s 4! Let up you heartless wonder of a father. That child is on this earth to be quided and taught with kindness, not harshness. She is not yours to manipulate to your will. You are a terrible role model.
Does the mom have 50 50 or more atleast? Tell her too…
Thats just plain stupid. At that age they just need to.learn to socialize and play
It depends. Kids don’t listen. Kids are destructive. If the mom understands then not your place.
And if the smiley face is a reward then yes. If they don’t listen then they have to learn eventually or they will walk all over ya.
He is awful! She is 4 and probably doesn’t even remember what she did. How sad to have such a mean daddy
Wow this just in dad, She’s a kid 
good grief some people shouldn’t reproduce.
Honestly you have no idea if she is showing bad behavior at school etc, it may seem harsh but its really not your place to tell him how to parent, or go talk to the teacher.
Harsh for a 4 year old or any kid. Wait until she gets a B instead of an A. Dad is a nut.
That’s absolutely ridiculous honestly.
Too much but they’re the parents
I think dad needs to flip his thinking!
Instead of looking at her through a deficit lens, switch it to a competent lens. For example: “I see you got a sticker on this date!! What did you do to get that sticker?” Child answers. Dad, “wow! I love that! You CAN get stickers, can you do that insert child’s answer tomorrow?”
This focuses on what she can do, instead of what she can’t do, and 4 year olds typically respond to this very well 
Parents should help the kids learn. Don’t just leave it all to the teachers.
She’ll resent school, play time is learning… a time out , a few hours of no toys, maybe explaining expectations & have her repeat them … but taking away creative time for that long , what’s the child doing?!?
Wow what a assh… poor kid
You’re stepping out of line. You are the grandparent. A nobody when it comes to raising the kid. The parents make those choices. If the dad deems it ok, then it’s ok. You don’t know what is exactly going on at school. You don’t know if she’s acting out, throwing stuff, not sitting, etc. The dad would know. He grounded her from TV and toys. She doesn’t need TV anyways. She can still read (dad help), practice her school stuff. Who knows? Sure, she is 4 and still learning but now she has to learn what happens when she’s not good . I doubt he is letting her be without things that are actually good for her. Being grounded is fine. He’s not beating her ffs.
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The dad’s got rocks in his head… I would hate to see his reaction to her in later yrs if she gets below a B or a C !!! Good grief. And does the Mom agree to all this nonsense??
Way too harsh for a four year old!!!
Nope I’d be showing up at his door saying it to his face. Ain’t nobody treating my blood like this when they are 4. He needs his ass handed to him
That’s horrible did you do that to your son for punishment? Tell him how you feel . I have a 5 year old I couldn’t imagine doing that to her . Maybe she’s struggling
Seems too much for a 4 yr old.
Make him famous and hell see comments 
I wonder if this guy is also using corporal punishment 
if he can be that harsh to a 4yr old maybe he needs to be investigated…Allowing a 4 year old to feel like a loser over a lack of stars in preschool is cause for major concern.
How can I teach my kid to grow up to be a people pleaser?!! What the actual f
Omg!!! She is 4yrs old!!!?
Sad:broken_heart:
Oh hell shes only 4 wtf…
She’s 4. Preschool teachers DON’T send home smileys EVERY day. She’s basically getting punished for something that is out of her control. What is she supposed to do, ask the teacher for one every day.
She’s only 4. That’s stupid.
Why the hell is the school even doing this … all it’s doing is creating fake people
And HE wonders why he’s Divorced… what an a**hole!!!
Ouch. Way to harsh. Wth do they really do in school at that age anyway? Color? He needs counseling before the kid grows up needing therapy from being raised by a crap dad
Excuse me ! A grounded 4 year old ?!?!? Umm ya not ok
That kid is going to have a cubicle crisis before she’s 5 fucking yikes
I’m stirn with my kids but for her age he is overboard with this. This isn’t okay for me.
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That’s a little excessive . After a day or two she will forget why she is being punished. Seems the punishment isn’t fitting for what may have happened.
The grounded from playing with toys seems excessive. Taking the TV away for lack of smiley faces is reasonable to me. Tv is a privilege and if you can’t behave and make good choices while at school then you don’t need that privilege or the extra stimulation that comes from it.
She’s 4! The punishment should meet the age, for goodness sake. But we can give all the advice in the world and it’s still not going to correct the situation!
Great way for her starting to hate going to school!!! I can see anxiety issues coming from this…
Let alone a 4 year old, I wouldn’t even do this to my 11 year old 
Poor baby!!!
I would mention it to the teacher
That is absolutely over the top. He needs to be addressed.
Um what. Thats a little much for a 4 year old. Poor kid.
Where’s the compassion? She’s 4 not 14 
I’d say thats extensive imo
Recipe of breaking this little soul’s spirit. Hope papa realises that he should change his attitude!
Abusive environment. Needs love, support and nurturing. Not hate, control and adversity
TV and games are not necessities. Those are her rules at home and you need to respect it regardless of your opinion. If he starts withholding food or spanking in excess, then that’s a valid concern.
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That’s an ineffective punishment for a 4yr old. They can’t comprehend consequences before their actions like we do, they act on impulse. They also don’t have a strong concept of time. Such as 2 days vs a week may feel the same to them. You could literally ground them for an entire day instead of a week and it would feel the same to them. It also instills negative feelings toward school and fear. They tend to think “I go to school, I get in trouble” it all meshes together for them. You need age appropriate consequences and that’s just not it for a 4yr old.
Seems a bit much for a 4 year old but that’s his child not yours. You’re the grandparent not the parent.
I wasn’t even in school at 4 years old! This is overboard Dad!
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Some kids need harsher punishments. Some kids can learn from a basic talking too. Some need more realistic punishment.
Dad’s rules not much anyone can do. Mine still have a timeout stop where all they can do is read books if you get up time starts over. Times different for whatever they did wrong
She’s only 4. It sounds like Dad’s expectations are too high.
That’s way too harsh for a 4 year old!
Are you in his home? I doubt it’s the whole story. Probably just another grandparent that doesn’t know or respect their boundaries. He’s the parent.
Dad sounds like an abusive psychopath
Like behavior chart? Like her behavior isn’t school appropriate. Or she isn’t achieving to his level? I can see if it’s a behavior thing but it does seem harsh.
Oh my god! This is heartbreaking to heart… Poor baby
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My 6 year old is in 1st grade, and he loses privileges when he doesn’t behave at school. That does seem a bit harsh for a 4 year old, who’s probably in prek? And is probably her first year in school. It takes time for kids to adjust in their first year of school.
I don’t think any 4 year old is capable of being horrible enough to justify a week of grounding. Sounds like this man has zero understanding of developmental stages and capabilities.
Completely unreasonable and sounds toxic. Imagine if she did something bad? Wonder how he’d react then.
She shouldn’t be grounded at all. Way too harsh and excessive.
That to be is very harsh. My son is 6 and I have never done that. But you can’t really do much
Speak to school and report to school social worker ASAP!!! Play is learning for children 6yr and younger this seems disturbing 
That’s sad, and I work in a school . We don’t want that happening because of what we say. Or not enough smiley faces.
Not ur kid but ur business. Stay out of it
Thats a little much. She is 4
Yeah thats harsh for a 4 year old
You do what a good grandma does an you sneak that baby toys an show her how to hide them duh 
The math isint mathing. We’re Deff not getting the full story here. But either way it’s not your kid so don’t worry about it.
It’s extremely unreasonable & I also don’t agree with a “smiley system” from the school. A 4 year olds “job” IS TO PLAY!!! That’s how kids learn, through play & by example. The public school system’s job is to turn out obedient workers & wow are they starting them young. 
4 year olds should be playing, not feeling superior or inferior because they got smiley faces from a public school system. Taking away tv is one thing, but not allowing a FOUR YEAR OLD TO PLAY? Yikes. Poor kid 