my 4 year old grand daughter has been grounded by her dad since at least Wednesday from playing with any toys or TV basically everything for not bringing home enough smiley faces from school. Parents do not live together. Seems unreasonable what’s a kid to do?
278 Likes
Playing = learning. Esp when they are 4.
4 Likes
Teachers can’t be on top of giving smiley faces every day… they’re human and it has no reflection on the child. This is so wrong!!!
2 Likes
She’s 4. 4!
My son is 4, just started school, he doesn’t come home everyday with stickers, but when he does we celebrate. I tell him how amazing it is & how proud I am for him.
He never gets in trouble for not getting a sticker.
42 Likes
Most would probably agree that’s abnormal… it sounds like that dude has an axe to grind & is looking for something to punish his child over. As a grandmother I would definitely be speaking up abt that!
1 Like
That’s a quick way to make her anxious about school and knock her confidence. 4 year olds are mostly play based learning anyway and learning the foundations of school and making friendships. She should not be disciplined for not getting enough stars, poor thing.
1 Like
That’s abuse for smiley faces 
Definitely too harsh for a 4 year old.
Everyone has different rules and expectations for their children. You can speak your mind, but don’t be surprised if it’s not met with a positive response. This world is very different then the one I grew up in, I’m very wary of giving unsolicited advice these days. Especially on parenting.
1 Like
At 4 a pep talk could bring better results… Ice cream encouragements or favorite game night with dad or everyone in the homes… 4 y.o.!! Give me a break.
1 Like
First question is who does she live with, second question is there a reason he is being this hard on her. There are alot of unknowns for all the bad mouthing. But at the end of the day it is his child to parent. Looking at our society wish some parents would do the same.
2 Likes
I ground my 4 year old from electrical devices all the time for a week at a time. Sorry their is more to life then devices. She gets no TV or tablet for 3-7 days.
Kids need to learn consequences for there actions. She does have all her craft supplies flash cards and other items to play with just not screens and she prefers Art and nature so win win as she only gets 30 min a day anyways of screens. She also gets rewarded for good weeks and little treats always and praise.
27 Likes
Seems severe for the age and super controlling. Red flags!!
That’s a little extensive for a 4 year old. I could see going to bed without tv for the night or something. Geez
32 Likes
It’s not harsh. Do it until she can bring home smiley faces again. This is exactly why kids act a fool and don’t listen bc y’all wanna let them get away with everything 
4 Likes
Yeah that’s way too harsh.
She’s 4 years old and still learning and growing. That’s ridiculous! Let her be a kid.
40 Likes
Emotional abuse would be my thinking on that
11 Likes
That’s just wrong the parent needs a stern talking to
1 Like
It unreasonable, however his house his rules.
4 Likes
I feel so sorry for her, that is way too much. It would break my heart, please talk to the Dad, this is just wrong.
2 Likes
She’s going to enough up resenting him, and will move far away as quickly as she can, once she’s an adult.
Careful who you breed with 
My mom was the same and I rebelled like there was no tomorrow. He’s in trouble in the future
1 Like
That is very harsh for her age, in my opinion
A 4 year old should only be grounded for 4 mins
I will say we don’t know the whole situation. We don’t know if the child has behavioral issues. My son does have behavioral issues and he is now 12. I wish that I would have been more strict with punishment because maybe we wouldn’t be dealing with the issues we are dealing with now. As long as there is an expectation set then I don’t really see the issue. I think that kids in this world could do without so much technology. It has been 5 days. Now if it was 2 weeks or a month I would say that is excessive. It’s hard to have an opinion about a situation we all know very little about. As a grandparent you can say your thoughts but that is about it. From there you need to stay out of it.
15 Likes
This is defiantly unfair. My oldest is 5 and I would never ask this of him nor punish him that hard.
I agree with the poster, but nothing you can so, unfortunately.
Wtf! That is definitely a little much for a 4 year old.
How would they even comprehend this?
Dad needs a reality check, big time
11 Likes
Hate to see how he treated his wife then, no wonder they are not together!
2 Likes
She’s 4!!! She’s still learning, about EVERYTHING!! I’m curious, what the mom has to say, because I would be pissed!
7 Likes
That’s to much ! She’s only 4 
3 Likes
That’s crazy! After the first day the little one probably don’t even remember why she’s in trouble. He definitely needs some guidance on age appropriate discipline.
10 Likes
Definitely too harsh for a 4 year old. A 4 year old is not going to connect the punishment for the “crime” for days after the incident. Dad needs counseling.
2 Likes
Yes that’s definitely unreasonable for a 4 year old
1 Like
Thats not appropriate at all. Kids that little only learn with immediate reward or punishment. Grounded from toys? Thats hindering her learning and development. Thats a lot of nope
2 Likes
Completely unreasonable. I’m not a fan of punishing for something unless it is repeated bad behavior after we have talked about why they did it and how they could have handled things better. To me, this a teaching moment and punishment does nothing. Unfortunately, I don’t know that there’s mischief you can do about it. Mom and dad need to discuss and hopefully get on the same page.
7 Likes
Yes completely unreasonable and wrong what dad did BUT there’s nothing you can do about that. I would just keep an eye on her though because it seems like dad wants the perfect child (hint why she got in trouble for not bringing enough of smiley faces) and parents who want perfect child do seem to emotional or mentally abuse the child (sometimes physical). So just keep an eye on her
1 Like
It is unreasonable. Did he talk to the teacher.
How many smiley face stickers did dad bring home this week? … yeah, thats what I thought.
2 Likes
That’s is just ridiculous she’s just a baby !!
2 Likes
Seems harsh for a 4 year old!
4 Likes
That’s absurd. That poor wee girl 
1 Like
That absolutely is unreasonable
1 Like
Way to young for this. So sad for her. Best of luck to you and your family
That’s emotional abuse. Your daughter needs to get her attorney involved
1 Like
It seems harsh but you are not the parent. It’s ok to talk to the dad but be respectful.
1 Like
If someone decided to punish my 5 year old in kindergarten for this there would be hands thrown.
We do this with our 6, 8, and 10yr old. But they have to be disrespectful at least 3 times in school and not pick up rooms. But we give multiple warnings before we take things away. We 1st talk it out, if that doesn’t work then we take toys, and if that still doesn’t work… well then no toys or tv for a few days. But they have to be extremely rude in school and misbehave at home. The only chore they have is to keep rooms cleaned and to feed/water the cats and dog. I let them choose which one they want to do that day. They also know if they are very well behaved we will play outside until dinner time. Or we will do something fun as a family.
That’s really unreasonable for a 4 year old. There’s not much you can do though but try talking to him.
Even if everyone agrees it’s too harsh
… and it is. Let the parent parent. So long as the child isn’t in danger you stay in your own lane.
24 Likes
Waaaaaay to severe for a 4/5 y/o. This is ridiculous. I hope she spends more time with Mom.
19 Likes
They’re setting a bad example for the child. It’s very sad, but you have to let them parent unfortunately, unless you think the child is in danger.
1 Like
How do you ground a 4 year old.
Sounds like the son isn’t your child! The mother is…
Let him parent how he sees fit. I bet she’ll bring home more smileys
**and, is she bringing home a frown instead? You literally can do nothing and bring home a smiley still so is she actually doing something to bring home a frown? Or is it just a smiley and that’s it?
1 Like
Does he not realize she is human we all have good and bad days but kids are still learning to control emotions and can’t have that much pressure to be good all the time. Shoot my daughter is 6 with adhd and has bad days but we talk to her and tell her how to better handle it and figure out why it happened if we can.
1 Like
I think that’s a ridiculous punishment for a 4 year old!!
22 Likes
Where is her mother? Does she feel the same way as you do? It may seem unreasonable to some of us, but it is what it is. That’s his child too. 
Does she live with him full time?
1 Like
as a parent of a four year old who is always getting letters home etc, that is too much.
It seems like there is a lack of discipline before this and grounding isn’t going to work.
talking it out about what happened and why, talking about what is expected , talking about what hurts others feeling etc are the only way to get through to a child that age.
3 Likes
For “not bringing home enough smiley faces” …not even doing anything wrong just not living up to his ridiculous expectations…this is about fucted 7 ways to sunday TBH
5 Likes
Yeah usually I would say stay out of it but that’s really harsh.
I got explicitly told by since therapist never to do that. I will take our way almost everything but i will always immediately put chores in place for him certain things back once he’s done being upset about being grounded. We absolutely never take away the art supplies books And educational tools… But I only ever do that when there’s like a suspension or something having a bad day at school like what kind of parent does that.
You’re literally intentionally tramatizing your child over a bad day at school that’s got to set you up so great for their teens
I mean is it really your place as the grandma to decide? Whether we think it’s fair or not, we’re not her mom or dad. Her dad felt like it was fair. That’s on them. I’d be mad as hell and going no contact with “grandma” for thinking she has any place how I punish MY child 
8 Likes
Apparently he doesn’t know much about raising a child. I hope she lives with her mother.
2 Likes
Totally unreasonable, controlling and harmful to the child’s development.
3 Likes
That is too harsh. Especially for that age.
My gmom thinks I’m too harsh cause my daughter has no video games, no tablet, and has no tv at bedtime for a week cause she recorded herself bullying her little sister who is special needs.
She can still have toys, and books. My daughter is also 7.
Might be too harsh depending whyyy she didn’t get the smileys. (Bad behavior, not turning in work etc) but he is the parent. Don’t overstep.
5 Likes
That poor child. That is a very harsh punishment for a 4 year old.
That’s setting way too high of a standard for a child that age. Yes she should behave in school but kids that young are still learning. She probably doesn’t even fully understand why daddy is mad and punishing her.
7 Likes
Kids are smart and it’s not your kid so I would just stay out of it. If the mom has an issue with it she will say something.
1 Like
Yeah, that’s overboard. They’re too little to be “punished” for something that isn’t that detrimental at her age. She probably doesn’t even remember why she’s in trouble. That’s too much.
1 Like
You may think that is unreasonable but she is not your daughter , you should mind your own business unless her dad physically abused her.
1 Like
He’s projecting his inadequacy onto her, when she gets older she will have no fun in sports or anything competitive because she will be stuck hauling his dysfunctional psychology on her back, additionally she’s likely as a teen and adult to have various forms of performance anxiety related to his overreach
1 Like
This is going to cause her to be a perfectionist and people pleaser big time…if he doesn’t stop this she will have issues. Poor girl 
18 Likes
That is terrible and puts a lot of pressure on the child to achieve which is difficult at any age but especially for one so young. I would definitely be having a conversation with the Dad.
13 Likes
I mean the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, but there’s nothing that can be done. You’re not the parent.
3 Likes
I agree with letting a parent do parenting there own way but I also agree with calling out unethical behaviour and educating others on how such a situation then impacts there child, that relationship, expectations and much more.
Might seem harsh but it’s his child 
some 4 yr olds don’t get too watch TV at all
4 Likes
Sounds like the dad is a control freak because he just can be. That child is going to resent her daddy daughter stays big time.
5 Likes
None of your business. She isn’t entitled to any of those things.
She’s 4 years old and still learning how the world works. She’s testing boundaries. That’s why kids do. She shouldn’t be punished for it. That poor baby
1 Like
HIS child HIS rules…she can still color or he can read her books. If he’s involved with helping her in other ways I’d stay out of it. I’d voice my concerns but not demand he take away his punishment.
Way harsh for a 4yr old.
Kids that age are still learning.
2 Likes
Noone knows the extent of her behavior maybe she’s a brat in school and has been told many times it’s not acceptable and needs this punishment. Parents are the reason we have so many entitled brats who think they don’t have to listen to teachers in school. Good for dad. Now I’ll also say if she’s being punished for not being perfect that is unacceptable
I feel like it is a little harsh. Taking devices or screen time away would suffice it honestly. But I must say there isn’t much you can do about it. He is her father and it’s his right to punish her how he sees fit as long as hes not beating or abusing her. I would talk to the mother and see how she feels about it.
As Hard this Is to Hear Grandma, STAY out of it. I’m a Parent of 30 yrs , She is 4 yrs old, Plenty old enough to Understand Dad’s expectations of Behavior. The punishment could be a result of Multiple warnings, The school/ Teacher calls DAD not Grandma. He is obviously an ACTIVE Father, Let’s respect the Parenting choices of her Daddy.
1 Like
That’s sad!.. 
she’s only 4 years old… I wouldn’t do that to any of my girls… idc if we were together or split up…
1 Like
I do think that is wayyy too harsh. However, you’re the grandparent not the parent. You need to discuss this with whichever parent you have a relationship with (one is presumably your son or daughter). It sucks, but you cannot do anything as the grandparent besides speak to your grandchild’s parent. You can also be there emotionally for the child by calling them frequently to talk or having them over a good amount so they feel loved.
2 Likes
The school probably already punished the child no need to go that extreme at home. Weird.
That is cruel. The school probably already punished the child. There is no reason to be that hard on a 4 year old at home.
1 Like
4 year olds can not comprehend long punishments like grounding.
THIS is why parenting classes should be more mainstream and not seen as a punishment. This is the exact kind of person that would benefit from a class or 2. 
3 Likes
That’s NOT how you teach children. Has he even bothered to find out why she didn’t get enough? I have ADHD and found it nigh on impossible to get stars and merit points, not from lack of trying, but from my brain chemistry.
There are so many reasons, and she’s only FOUR FFS. If he keeps this up, she’ll grow up constantly afraid to fail, and never wanting to come to him with real issues because of her fear of punishment. Not cool
3 Likes
The only rules that apply are the ones in the home she is in. If she isn’t at dad’s then ignore his far too harsh punishment. If she is then you’ll have to suck it up and hold her hand afterwards. Don’t slag him but tell her you’d handle it differently.
Sounds like he is far from the perfect daddy or he wouldn’t be not living with his family.
So because I know what the smiles are for my question is what isnt she getting smiles in? Is it a behavioral issue that is getting worse? We don’t know the entire story folks… we are missing information. Has my child been punished for not bringing home smiles on his chart? Yes. Because of the notes from his teacher explaining why he didn’t get those smiles. Because of disruptive behavior because of shouting in class, because of pushing or being rude. Have we taken away toys and TV and anything fun because those behaviors aren’t changing? Your darn right we did. We also praised when we noticed the changes, we celebrated the small stuff. We, as commentors on a post, do not know the whole story and should give grace.
That’s a lot for a 4 year old
Not our business, not your business. What’s too harsh for y’all may work just fine for them.
Raise your children how you raise them, and leave others to raise theirs. Would you rather he use corporal punishment, probably not.
Folks really need to tend to their own children and stop worrying about how others raise theirs. Not everyone wants to raise a disrespectful, can’t follow rules, entitled child. You gotta start setting those boundaries early in life not when they’re 16-17.
Get a hobby and leave others and their kids alone. Mind the business that pays you, not the business you shouldn’t be in. 
2 Likes
Little over the top.geez.at 4 years old chances she won’t remember this punishment.
1 Like
Good job dad. Maybe more parents need to take his advice and it might stop all these kids from parenting the adults. Everyone wants to be their kids friend, how about being a parent and teaching these unruly kids to have some discipline and boundaries.
Punishment should be 1 minute for every year of age. No more than 5 minutes, period. And such a severe punishment for kdgn?! NO. I’m a retired kdgn,1st,2nd grade teacher. She just needs to be set down and find out why she isn’t doing better. How parents can help her, it doesn’t sound like dad talked to her, just punished her. He will build up such resentment, she will quit trying to get better. Positive reinforcement so much better than negative reinforcement.
Umm that’s definitely worth a talk to the lawyer could be seen as emotional abuse since she’s only 4. Boot meeting buttocks come to
Mind 
4 Likes