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"So I guess this is more like a vent post. I had a gut feeling for a while now, probably over a year, my husband was seeing someone else. He’s very sneaky. It’s a woman from his coed team. My kids have met her and have said some things that have not sit right with me like…. “ mommy I saw daddy holding hands with so and so”. I don’t want to go too much into detail. I never had concrete proof. But the other day my daughter asked me to put Netflix on my husbands phone. I never knew his password but I put in a combination of numbers and it worked. Let’s just say I have my proof now. I’ve confronted him about this woman in the past but he denied it. So I think now I’m just going to confront her. The woman knows this man has a whole ass family. I feel terrible for my kids bc their life is about to change. I’m okay though, I think. I’ve accepted my gut feeling a long time ago! Thanks for reading. Sorry if this is all over the place."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"So sorry!! Whatever he says don’t take him back after you end it! Stay strong!"
"If you’re planning on leaving him then I wouldn’t confront her (yet). You’ve got your proof… If it were me I’d just go ahead and sneak away at some point and file for divorce. Confronting her would tip him off that he knows you know."
"Trust the gut, let her have him."
"Now that you have made a decision, don’t back down. Don’t let him Buffalo you. Take the kids and go. Get custody and support. Let him have his floosie. You go heal up and have time with your kids. Someday someone will come along for you."
"Document all your proof for court. Don’t confront her. Just go file for custody of kids and divorce. Let her have him. He’ll end up cheating on her too."
"Let him come home to new locks on the doors and his shit on the front lawn. Get your stuff in order and all the proof you need."
"Don’t say a word. Get your bag quietly, take your evidence, and get your ducks in a row. Once that’s done, say cya!"
"I know the hurt side of you wants to blame her and to have him ultimately choose you but that is just ego. Don’t let your hurt guide you in this. Get a therapist immediately and play your cards right now. I didn’t and lost everything, including my child. Don’t be the woman they continually ask “Then why didn’t you leave??” what you do now will determine a life of post divorce hell or eventually being able to feel vindicated and happy."
"Don’t even bother confronting the women .it was your husband’s job to uphold the respect and dignity of his wife and kids as a married man and have his priorities straight with regards to his family. You have your proof.u basically dealing with a man who lies and cheats and uses his free time to be with another women instead of his wife and kids. Plz think wisely about how you go forward"
"Why confront her? He’s the one that is or was in a relationship with you. You either really accept the fact and file for divorce or forgive him and go to marriage counseling."
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