what would any of your guys do in my situationsmy husband and i have been married for 18 years and have two beautiful kids.coming from overseas i don’t have any of my family here and it’s very hard as I’m very social person i really miss that. when i came here my husband had a very big group of friends that we used to hang out at the beginning when i came but then he got sick and all of the sudden he stopped contacting with everyone and since then till now we don’t have any friends anymore for years ( by the way he’s been good all this time with his health) and i find it really hard, myself i have few friends and I’ll make plans with them he doesn’t want to go. I’m working full time job and he’s working 3 days at night club security and the only day off we all have it’s Sunday witch is perfect to have some people over or to do something as a family but no he will wake up at 11 am and go to the swimming pool by himself and he never says to go together or to do something, I’m so tired i feel like I’m just constantly doing the same thing work or cook and clean never have any fun even i feel bad for the kids like they’ve never experienced anyone to come to our house or us to go to someone else I’m just thinking he is embarrassed from me as i put on weight through the years, i do everything for him and love him so much,i feel very sad looking at people having fun and great time, like what’s wrong with us, we get good money and we have our house paid off no stress for that but not sure what it is
Get involved in a church ! You will make many good friends! And learn some stuff too ! YOU get busy and create your own social life ! Once he sees how much fun you have , he may want to join you . If not , that’s ok ! Live YOUR life to the fullest ! Best of luck !
Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Do something great your kids and yourself. Start loving 
yourself.
SELF-CARE IS A MUST. LIFE IS TOO SHORT.
Do your own kind of fun, you don’t need his permission to, find something you like and do it or…ask to go with him. Idk
Start doing things on your own. Make plans with your friends. Plan outings with your kids. If you’re sick of being in the house, go for a walk. Sometimes just being out in the fresh air can help if you’re going stir crazy. Maybe just show up at the pool one day. The one thing you should definitely do is talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Convey to him what you need from him. Nothing will get better unless you communicate with each other.
Ask him if he would like to do couple counseling. Sometimes my clients don’t want to come up with what to say but are happy when I can start the conversation. They don’t want to hurt you but have some things to say.
I haven’t had a bad ending yet and been in the field for many years. It’s nice to be able to help them say what they want.
It’s hard to say from your post like on the one hand it’s very quick to say he’s cheating and there’s definitely things that could be signs here, however it’s not always cheating he may just be older and tired and want to relax in peace etc. Being married for a long it’s makes he wants to go do things by himself yall should both do things by yourself. It is possible your weight gain is an issue (it’s crappy I know) especially if he’s working in a night club and seeing different types of women and bodies everyday. Obviously the only thing you can do is talk to him unless there’s more going on that warrants just leaving. Perhaps swimming would help you lose weird. Perhaps you can join a gym and go without him. Perhaps you two can schedule a date night and plan a once a month get together with friends. Ask him for help making your marriage happy.
Are the kids old enough to be on their own while you do a date night?
I understand how sometimes you can feel lonely coming from another country is hard to make friends
Firstly, night club security…I wouldn’t have that.
Secondly, if you both go OUT, who is watching the kids?
Maybe get a sitter and do things together or do you! Go-to the gym, work out, make a friend…
Self care. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Join a gym… most have free trials. Join a book club maybe or play groups! Focus on making yourself happy
Make your own friends and create your own social life. Take the kids and join him at the pool, don’t wait for an invite
Both of you are in a Rot.If you two don’t talk Seriously time will Come that you two don’t want each other’s Company or anything else anymore .Couples need intimate times,connection of minds and body .
Ask him straight up if that’s what it is, if not then ask him what’s up and why.
“Night club” security says it all. There’s something he’s not telling you. 
If you think something is up, it usually is.
Ever thought he might have someone else on the side?
Have you tried to talk to him? How is he supposed to know you want to go to the pool too if you don’t ask?
You seem to be expecting him to invite you and do all these things, maybe just try ASKING?
It’s not going to be a healthy marriage if you don’t communicate!
I don’t think its because he’s embarrassed of you. I just don’t think he’s in the mood to host parties and gatherings. As you age you just like the peace and enjoying your home alone is actually pretty grand. My husband and I do not host parties or get togethers at our house unless its a special occasion like the kids Bdays. We also don’t go out with friends much and spend more time together traveling on our own. Maybe your husband is just in a different place in life.
Communicate…ask him not a bunch of strangers. You been married for 18 years…really is quite simple.
What is wrong with you…
when he goes swimming, put on a bathing suit and go with him. Just say wait I want to go too
Have you talked to your husband about it?
Go thru his phone records but brace yourself
You cant do much about his desire to go on outings alone without his family, but please dont let him take you or your childrens self esteem with him when he goes, he doesnt get to be the coach telling you guys you have to stay on the bench, get in the game
If u have to beg for attention or u think he’s embarrassed about u its not worth it…just saying
I don’t think he’s embarrassed so much as he doesn’t love you anymore.
I’m sorry ,I have to ask for your sake . Do you think he might be cheating? Have you looked for signs?
You need to make yourself some friends. Your children should have friends if they are going to school. Do things for yourself and with your friends. Have your children enrolled in extracurricular activities or hobbies.
You don’t need his permission to have people over .plan a nice BBQ and then tell him that company is coming over .if he don’t like it he can stay in bedroom or leave for the day …live your life it’s the only one you have
One, if he only works 3 days a week he can start helping with the housework. Two, just start doing stuff with your friends, whether you go out or invite them over. Invite some of your kid’s friends over. He sounds like he maybe depressed if he’s not doing anything with friends or the kids. See if he’ll talk to his doctor or a counselor.