Sometimes I feel like I’m not as important to my husband as his best friend is. I love his best friend. He’s an amazing guy and our kids love him as well, but they are ALWAYS together. They will leave the house in the morning, be gone ALL day while I’m home with the kids, and he will hardly ever text me. I know sometimes he’s working, but he works instacart. It’s not like he can’t message me sometimes. Then other times they don’t work and they just screw around all day. When we first got together there was an issue between me and the best friends fiance. She hated me. Started calling me names and saying I was trying to steal her man. When I asked my then boy friend to say something to her, his response was “I don’t want to cause any issues for (insert best friends name). Just ignore it and stop letting every little thing get to you.” He’s dropped plans with me the minute this man calls on more than one occasion. He’s left state with him and didn’t even communicate with me until AFTER life369 notified me that he had made a stop. My mom has even accused him of cheating on me with this man. I’ve voiced my feelings to my husband about this and he just says, “well is my best friend. He’s struggling right now.” And I know he is… But he refuses to get help and now I’m struggling with it as well because I’m constantly left sitting at home with the kids. Am I wrong for being upset about this?
My husband gets this way when he’s around his best friend but he will still communicate with me and I’m not ever too worried about anything because I know he will take care of my husband. But this sounds like he’s hiding something
I wouldn’t automatically assume he’s cheating on you. If I could hang out with my best friend 24/7 I would lol. I would just tell him that you’re not going to tolerate him being gone 24/7 with his friend and you being alone with the kids all day. If he can’t compromise that then it might be best for both of you to separate. He is also a parent and husband and needs to act like it.
No you’re definitely not wrong in anyway!!! He is a husband and father. You and his children should always take priority. He dang sure shouldn’t be canceling plans with you for anyone else unless it’s some sort of major emergency. He should never put up with someone calling you names or treating you poorly. He definitely shouldn’t be with his friend all the time, that’s just weird. Before I read what your mom said I was thinking it because he’s treating his friend the way he should be treating you. Both my husband and I work full time jobs and we text each other numerous times a day. At least once every couple hours, even if it’s just an “I love you” “can’t wait to be home with you” or “
/
/
type emojis”. You deserve so much better. You should sit down and have a serious conversation with him. Tell him everything you truly feel and what you need from him.
I would do the same thing right back to him. I would wake up super early in the morning and leave before he does. When he calls you asking where you are, so you can “babysit the kids”. I wouldn’t answer. See how he appreciates it.
I’d say to him if our relationship is important to you we need to talk.If it’s not then maybe we should separate
First thing I thought was,this sounds like he’s cheating.I would tell him,if you don’t start spending time with the kids and I,I’m leaving.He needs to grow up.He is a father and shouldn’t be hanging with friends basically 24/7.
Is he really always with the best friend? Maybe he’s using him as an excuse to leave the house but he’s with someone else?
Girl, wake up and smell the coffee. They are ‘crushin’ on each other. Move on. Your mother is correct.
You must communicate! Sounds like his commitment is to his friend! Ask! Clarify!
There should be a healthy balance but no man should come ahead of one’s spouse or children
Sounds a little broke back mountain ish to me. You might be the cover up. Try having a conversation with him, expect him to be super defensive though lol 
If this was a friendship between two women no one would think anything of it. We are programmed into thinking close male friendships aren’t a thing and it’s that reason a lot of men are depressed. I’d let him know that you appreciate his friendship but that he also needs to consider his other relationships with you and his kids. Come to a compromise that they hang out a couple nights a week and his other time is for you and family. 
Anyone that puts their friendships above their relationships or marriage will always be an issue. So you are not wrong.
You knew his level of relationship with this man before you married him and you still married him. Don’t start having an issue with it now.
Start walking up before him and leave the whole day, turn your phone off and see if he like it
Does he pay any attention to his children at all? If you trust him to take care of the kids plan yourself some time out with a friend. When he gets home from work, simply say I have plans tonight you need to make dinner for the kids and take care of them. I’ll see you later and leave. I think a few times of doing this will either wake him up, or you will find out how he really feels about you and your marriage. Either way you will have your answer.
Sounds a bit broke back mountain to me
No you’re not wrong. And I think maybe your husband is hiding a part of himself from you. Honestly he does sound a bit gay. Not sure if that’s true, but he needs to understand that he’s got a family and they should come before best friends, most of the times. And he needs to reiterate to his friend that he’s an important person but not the number 1
You can be his “Domestic Engineer/Brood Mare” at your own home, trying to make your marriage an actual relationship is not possible when he is already in a committed relationship, sorry but true
Of course he does. Don’t you like your best friend more than him? I mean I know you love him but don’t you like her more?
No…you are NOT wrong. This is all his doing. The thing is that you let it get to this point. You need to have a deep talk with him, need to arrange a date that you and him can be alone to discuss it, and come to an agreement whether it means separation or him distancing himself from his friend. He is NOT a single guy…he is a man with a family and responsibilities! Time to put your foot down and make him really come to his senses! Whether good or bad outcome, at least you should know you tried and not beat yourself up about it. Good luck and I hope this situation gets cleared up. 
He only gone continue to do what YOU allow🤷🏾♀️
Is he a teenager? Sounds like you need to ditch this clown. And give yourself a chance to experience a man.
He just don’t care. A dad would put his kids priority over anyone and anything.
So if he has shown you that you are not as important and you have told him so and still he doesn’t care, what is it going to take for you to believe him? Believe him when he tells you his butt buddy is more important than you. That’s his man. Leave.
Think maybe he’s more into his guy friend. Think your mom’s right
He’s so wrong for that. I got some friends and I rarely hang out with them cause my husband and my kids comes first before any friends. When I do hang out with them I make sure my husband is set at home with lunch and being well taken care of before I go. But my kids they usually come with me most of the time. Or they be at school.
Why are you staying with him?
I think the slang term for a woman who makes her gay husband and his friend look straight is a “beard”. He may be unable to cope with his own family rejecting him. I lived this role for a few years and it didn’t end well.
No, You will be bitter later on . You are way down on the list of his priorities. Been there, done that.You are a convenience.
I would leave him. I couldn’t do it. You are basically a single mom already.
And you married and had kids with him without this being sorted out because?
Ur husband is gay as a fiddle…
Does his bff still have the same girlfriend
Hmmmm
Maybe since she’s never liked you. She’s hooked him up with one of her friends
Investigate
Are you positive he’s actually with that friend?? Sounds like that friend might be a scapegoat foe other things he’s doing or other people he’s seeing. If he IS with the friend he needs to get his shit together. It’s fine to have close friendships but when it hurts his relationship and he isn’t being a father, it’s an issue. I would tell him your concerns again and tell him “you either start staying home more/spending time with your family” or separate. Sounds like if you separate, things won’t be much different than they are now 
I had a bf never knew he liked guys till one I looked and found out he liked other guys photos and was talking to them. I was pregnant at the time as well. I flipped out lol. He liked guys and girls. I would definitely have a conversation with him, he won’t do that then I think it’s time to move on. Communication is key.
Sounds like he has another woman and is pretending to be out with his friend.
He’s gay. Ain’t no two friends this close when they’re grown.
So, he’s the wife and you’re the domestic labor/sex provider. Dudes are homosexual in their companionship and straight only in the bedroom. They have women because they feel it’s expected of them. You deserve better, but better seems hard to find these days.
Doesn’t sound like you have partner at all. He’s a shitty father too. What relationship is he showing the children’s I have with their partner? Or with their own kids? Do you really want yourself and the kids to always be 4th string for him. Only around when others don’t want to hang with him. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a close friend. And it’s not the friends fault for him not being a decent parent and partner.
Yes you’re wrong for feeling this way bc you never shldve married him when he showed you clear as day he doesn’t gaf about you. Smfh you sound like you were desperate to get married so there you go
Too many red flags your boy be gay I’m so sorry
Maybe he dosent know how to come out of the closet, you might be his cover up
Honestly if that’s all you have to worry about
Think yourself lucky
Just because you are married and have kids
Doesn’t mean
He can’t spend a lot of time
With his best mate
Jeeze I had to push my ex to go hang out with his mates
As I got sick of him
Moping around the house and not getting out of house
I was over the moon when he went on a 4 day camping trip with his best and other mates
I knew he wouldn’t have any phone reception where they were going
So it didn’t bother me
One of those days
Fell on my birthday, which didn’t bother me as I don’t celebrate my birthday
It also gave me time to hang out
With my girlfriend’s (who’s blokes were on the trip with him)
I introduced him to his bestie
As the guy was my bestie first and still is my bestie
I didn’t even flinch knowing it was my besties bucks weekend
And the guys were taking him to a strip club
They all got a lap dance (which us girls paid for)
I’m not sure if you are upset with him or jealous of his bestie
Very weird. He is still in High School. Or gay.
I would read him this or write it in a letter if you’re uncomfortable about talking about it. Some of the gay comments are facts because my gay male best friends have only had s@x with married men. One friend, said he did and him and his wife’s pic was right there 
horrible. Tell him that kids and you come first, give an ultimatum and tell him how you feel. Don’t let him ever tell you how YOU feel because he doesn’t know. Saying you’re being sensitive about the wife, I think it’s rude and you all could have all been friends. He could have fixed it but who knows. They both could go be cheating.
It doesn’t matter his feeling towards his “friend,” it’s not working for you so cut him loose chickie. You will be happier with out the constant “worry.”
Not wrong -
You’re not his first, second, or even third priority.
Even worse: neither are your children.
It’s time to move on - you’ve already wasted years trying to open his eyes, and you and your children deserve better.
You deserve someone present, accountable - who puts the family he married and created first.
I wouldn’t automatically say he’s cheating but you NEED to sit him down and tell him how you are feeling.
not wrong. seems he doesn’t want to focus on a family and puts his focus into friends. he’s being childish and seems he doesn’t accept he’s got his own family now.
I wouldn’t say he’s cheating, I would question who’s around them. I’d demand he starts to be your husband and your kids father.
Something is definitely off with this. Your spouse should come first!
Yup, he’s cheating on you with him