"My husband has his own business. Therefore he hires his own employees. He has built a landscaping company up from nothing to something we can live off, plus some. My issue is, I feel like he only hires beautiful women…literally, every single woman that works for him is so pretty, and it makes me insecure. They have outings all the time for work that I am not invited to, and I feel like sometimes he works later than he should because he comes home at 9 pm sometimes and I know he isn't actually working that late since most of the landscaping that gets done isn't happening in the dark…. One girl, in particular, contacts him all hours of the night, and he tells me, 'I have nothing to worry about.' But I feel like I do. I feel she should not be texting my husband in the middle of the night, but he always says it's work-related and that's it. Am I wrong for feeling some way?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
"I'm suspicious about his not inviting you to work functions, and the texting during the night. That is not normal. At all. Show up at one of his work functions unexpectedly, with good reason (something you had to bring him, or something). I'm afraid it sounds like he has something to hide there. I am so sorry."
"Nothing work related is acceptable to be contacting your boss all hours of the night, work related texts should stay between when the company opens to 7pm (latest) unless it’s an absolute emergency."
"Middle of the night texts are not "work" related. And if they really are then he needs to set limits. No work calls or texts after 8pm or whatever yall decide. There is no work related reason to bother your boss in the middle of the night."
"Not wrong and considering he owns the company you should be part of at least some company get togethers/ parties. Your little voice is trying to tell you something ain’t right. It usually doesn’t lie. Praying for you."
"Ask to see the text messages. If it’s nothing then he should have no problem showing them to you. If he gets mad then he is hiding something. My advice, be prepared to walk away and have a good lawyer ready to pounce."
"If you've spoken with him about it and Nothing has changed. he's kinda picking shady behavior over trying to make you feel secure in your relationship. And no employee should really he texting her married boss like that. If you've pointed it out… IDK. Go with your gut."
"Your husband should WANT you at work events with him! YOU should be the reason he pushes to keep his business afloat! Call me crazy maybe but I don't care."
"Surprise him by showing up with a homemade plate of dinner at work, some time when he tells you he has to work late. If you manage to entirely surprise him, you could satisfy your curiosity. You might find that he really is working - maybe on paperwork or billing he can't do during the day. Owning a business does involve long hours. That part doesn't particularly worry me."
"If you have to ask I think you already know the answer. Listen to your gut. He shouldn't have anyone messaging him late at night and no reason you can't go on the outings with them."
"He needs to learn how to separate home life and work life. He should leave his work matters at the door!! I would not be okay with a woman texting my husband during any hours of the night. That’s family time!! It would make me insecure too. I’d just have to invite myself to some of those things but if you’re like me, someone has to be with the kids."
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