I’m 19 and due at the end of the year with my first. Bf and I have been together for a little over a year. I’m in college part-time and live with my mom while he has a roommate in an apartment. I’m currently not working and am dying to get back to work after the baby comes. I’ve looked at online jobs with little to no luck. Our plan is for me to continue living at my mom’s for another year, and then baby and I move in with bf. I have my license but no car, which makes my job choices slim. My mom knows our plans, and when I reminded her I would be spending more nights at bfs house after the baby comes, she made a face and said “no”. No? I feel like she wants me to stay stuck living with her. She even told me before I got pregnant she’d prefer if I stayed at home until after college! The reason I’m not living with bf is I need my own car and job to help pay bills and such. I feel very stuck. Isn’t a mother supposed to push her child to be independent and want her to live her own life? Any advice/personal experience stories are greatly appreciated.
As a mother you just want what is best for your child and I think it is a good idea to stay living with your mom until school is done. I was 19 when I had my first also and I wish I would have stayed at home as long as I could! Having your mother there to help you with little things you didn’t realize you’d need help with can be a lifesaver! You do whatever you want but just words of advice from someone who has been there too- stay home a little while longer. 
Finish school then bounce! 
Independence starts with moving out of your momma’s house for starters. Sounds like you’re the only one holding back your independence here.
Stay at home as long as you can ! It’s a struggle trying to pay for a house & living on top of baby stuff, if your mom is willing to help & be there for you guys , then stay, it’s great having a mothers help, you will realize when you become a new mom ! I’ve been blessed to have my mothers help & I wouldn’t change it at all !
She is probably afraid for the futur… Seems like you didn’t make the better choice at first.
Keep up the good work and she will see you are becoming a good mother.
Finish school, save up for a car, then move. She just doesn’t want to see you fail or get stuck in a situation that wouldn’t benefit you.
Personally you should spend more time with the BF now that way when you live together full-time you know what you are getting yourself into. Make sure he’s a good father, person, etc. Sometimes that’s hard to tell til you are there all the time. But adulting does suck so enjoy it while you can lol. I’d finish school first and work part time and save for a car as well if she allows it.
I don’t see this as her stopping you from being independent. You might be 19 but right now you aren’t independent. You’re pregnant, in college, have no car, no job and are living at your moms. You’re dependent on her right now and she knows that and is doing what she needs to do.
Stay home as long as you can! I get wanting to play house but in all seriousness, having a baby is tough emotionally and financially! If your mom wants to help you by giving you a safe, comfortable place for you and your baby- take it!!!
You’re living with your mother, pregnant. You can’t support yourself and your bf isn’t willing to support you and your child. Your mother is the only one thinking at all. Stay there. You’re not mature enough to be “on your own” if you got pregnant living with your mom without a car and job to support yourself.
Grow up 
you and your boyfriend. You live in your mothers house, under her rules. Your baby daddy lives in an apartment without you, and your mad your mom wont let you do what you want lol you should find a job, literally anything since your a parent now and need to provide for your own kid. Boooooo 
your lucky your mom is willing to take care of you and your baby.
Honey you’re 19. She just wants to help and to make sure you (her baby) and your kiddo are being taken care of. Stay home for a while and let her help. Finish school, get a job, get your own vehicle and build yourself up while at your mom’s before you leave. She will enjoy the time with her grandbaby and you’ll be bettering your life for you and your child.
Honestly appreciate your mom now. I have had to do it all on my own. No parents. No cushion if I fail. I never got the option to go to school because I had to work to put a roof over my kids heads. Your mom just wants you to succeed. And I would say at the moment your not quite there yet.
You’re going to want and appreciate her help I’m just saying. I thank God for my mom when I first had my son and I was 33!! She’s the only reason I got any sleep I swear! Shits about to get realllllllyyyy real and I wouldn’t be pushing away those willing to help. I was lucky enough to be able to live with my parents until my son was a year and half. During that time my husband finished school and got a job and now we have our own place. I’m so grateful I had help. I’m 36 now pregnant with my second and legit terrified to have a toddler and a newborn all by myself hahaha. Thankfully my mom lives close and is willing to help me when she can. You are lucky to have your mom and for her to be so willing to make it easier on you.
I’d honestly stay with my mom if that was my situation, sounds like she wants you to finish school and have a good start when you move out. May seem like shes trying to “trap you” but it sounds like shes looking out for what would be the best for you and your baby.
Tbh stay as long as you can! Save up as much money as possible. It will be better for baby later
I’d stay home with my mommy if she would let me lmao she’s gonna be doing more work than your BD 
You should appreciate her wanting to help you. Stay with your ma finish school. Don’t rush to get out in the world fully. It’s not that great.
Your bf should have taken you in with or without a job and car…that child is his responsibility now and needs to step it up!
Some mothers. Then there are the ones who just can’t let go. I got married at 18 had my first child when I was 21 & my 2nd at 22. But my MIL caused all kinda shit in my home becoz she just couldn’t let go of her “baby”. I l applaud you for going to school & working for a good life for you & your child. Not having a car sucks but maybe you can find a cheap one for now to be more independent & not depend on someone else for your rides.
I would seriously be thankful for a mom like that, especially if she wants to help with my child and finances, paying rent every month is no joke especially with kids who constantly need things. If you think you’re going to be independent with a child you are really mistaken, like going anywhere you have to consider them first, how long you sleep wether you shower that day or not are you going to eat will you be sitting down anytime soon or you’ll pace up and down for the rest of your life? Being a parent is a 24 hours, 7 days a week 365 kinda job, you don’t get time off or time out unless you have a really good support system.
Sounds like she just wants to do what she believes is in your best interest. Most mother’s do, and you will understand that one day. My mother wanted me to continue living at home while in school because it allowed me to not have to stress about any extra bills or a job. I could also see her getting concerned about not having all your needs met or you getting pregnant again while living with your bf. Take the time at home, enjoy the help your mother is trying to give you. Save up your money for a car and a home/apartment of your(and baby daddy) own, without needing a roommate. Don’t rush independence. It’s not as amazing as it seems.
My Mom always said my house my rules.
You either live here or don’t.
I agree you need to know what your getting your self into. You may totally hate living with your bf.
Know some father’s aren’t hands on until the babies are older and you may benefit your Moms help until your done with school.
You don’t want to be over welmed with homework and a baby and drop out either.
I had my son at 17 and lived with my Mom until he was a yr and a half. Best decision ever. I graduated with my diploma earlier than other seniors (:
Your mom is just lookin out for you and her grandbaby. Stay with her as long as possible you’re young, and a baby is alot and will put alot of strain on a relationship. Take it one step at a time. Don’t worry about a year from now. Worry about today. Good vibes.
Omg… you’re mad? At 19 I was pregnant with my first. I lived in a tin can trailer with roll out windows (I kid you not). I cried two weeks straight after having my son Bc I was like I fucked up this kids life. So I got a full time job, I started school full time (clinicals included). I had a baby to raise and a house to run at 20. I wish I had my mom like nnooooo you don’t need to do
All that… be a mom and go to school… you can live here, I will take care of you. Appreciate the fuck out of your momma Bc she’s trying to take some of the load off… how do you repay her. Go to school full time. Get your education. Then you can go out there and support you and your baby without a mans help.
I had my first child at 16 almost 17 yrs old. My husband and I where in a car wreck when I was 3 months. My husband lived 10 days after the wreck. So I had suffered major medical issues but my child was born and healthy. My parents offered to adopt my son so I could continue my education. Of course being the age I was and with my son I said no way. Now bear in mind that they where willing to raise my son and help with paying for school and college while letting my son know I was his mother. I refused there help. I wanted my life and my son’s life as ours. I sometimes wish I would have taken there help. Just think about the offer weigh your options and pick the road best for your self and child. Parents want to help you be the best you that you can be.
You’re very young. Listen to your mother. Stay there. You will need the help. You are by far independent. I assure you that the boyfriend will stay with his college roommate, for awhile. Which is no place for a newborn anyway. It’s not safe or healthy. You should of thought about all the other stuff BEFORE getting pregnant. You will definitely be needing your mother’s help.
Shit my husband and i live with my mom with a one year old. If it wasn’t for my mom we would be struggling hard. She helps in all aspects we aren’t able to provide in the moment. I would be thanking her instead of basically complaining
If you mean you’re gonna leave baby at your moms and go spend the night with bf then i would tell you no too. And if you plan on bouncing back and forth with baby i would also say no. Babies need stability and routine. Jumping back and forth between your moms and your bf is gonna be soooo hard on baby and ultimately on you. Maybe you could talk to your mom about your bf staying with you and baby at her place sometimes to help out with baby until you guys get a place of your own. You are an adult tho. She cant control you. If you wanna go stay nights with bf then do so…but be prepared for the consequences. Mommy dearest does not have to let you keep living there with her.
I think that if your going to accept the help from her, then you kinda need to live by her rules. If you want independence, then move In with your boyfriend and make positive things happen for yourself and your baby.
Honey, it sounds like your mom is trying to give you the best chance you can have by staying home, not stressing over bills and finishing school. You have no idea how much harder your life is about to become. You are an adult now and have nothing, no car no job and a baby on the way that you have no means to take care of. Be grateful for your mom- she will be taking on a lot of responsibility that she shouldn’t have to for your bad decisions. Thank of it this way, your mom is still trying to take care of you while your “man” isn’t. Can’t move in until you can get a job and help with bills… that’s fucked up.
I’m 31 had my first 9 years ago when I was living at home and still thank god for my mum yes she was a little pushy and over baring at times but she hadine and my bubs best interest at heart
I had my second just after I moved out and I moved her into my flat for 2 weeks because I wouldn’t have got through them first weeks without her then did it again with my third 2 years ago. 
Yes yes I’m a mummies girl but wouldn’t have it any other way but I am a grown woman I swear
Well leave your moms home… But when you’re struggling don’t go back expect her to help you more your BF or her grandchild as that us yals responsibility. I’m sure she’s being very strict bc she knows you’d go back for help and all she’s trying to do is avoid it! Appreciate it bc others don’t have what you have but once you’re out don’t go back crawling for help! I personally would let you leave to find your own struggles and wouldn’t let you back hm!
Im sorry but you’re far from independent. You depend on your mom and you’re trying not to depend on your bf. I think she’s being realistic about your situation. You should’ve been paying bills with mom… if she would even let you. Learn from her.
You don’t have a car, a job and haven’t finished college plus you’re having a baby. I think your mom is just trying to help you. I’d stay as long as possible with mom. Until you finish college.
U want to leave? Then leave
You’re actually not independent. You’re an unemployed pregnant teenager living under her roof. You should be respectful of her wishes…also what kind of parenting plan is it that “in a year we’ll move in together”…it’s like you’re giving him license to be irresponsible. Show her the regard she is asking for, because when push comes to shove, she’s the one who is going to be there for you and the baby. You’ve literally given him a year to ease into the whole dad thing. Welcome to reality honey…
I’m on your moms side. She just wants you to have your ducks in a row before you go out on your own. I have a 19yr old, and i would be doing the same thing. Take the help! Finish school, get a job, a car, then move out. It will be so much easier. She’s helping you, not controlling you.
I personally would suggest taking advantage of your situation while you can. I was 19 living with my mom with my first baby and was in such a rush to get out on my own. Now I’m 39 with 4 kids and would do anything to be able to move back home seriously though, you, your BF and your child have the rest of your lives to be together so waiting until after college may not be a bad idea.
My daughter is 22 with her first, an 8 month old, shes still in college, & works part time~ Was with Baby Daddy 2 years…He walked out after he was done using her & left us all to pick up the pieces…
Thank GOD she never moved out. She has a nice nursery, a nice room for herself, she paid off her car, she pays minimal rent here, & I babysit & help with baby 24-7.
She thanks me every day for advising her to stay home. & her & her child have an amazing bond, which she would not have had living with an unstable boyfriend~
#SometimesMomsDoKnowBest
Honestly, I don’t think what she’s saying/hoping for is wrong. I might get heat for this, but how old is your boyfriend? His age doesn’t matter but you generally get about 7 months of knowing your pregnant. That’s 7 months of time he could’ve been looking for a better job or saving money. Sorry, to me he doesn’t sound like he’s ready to give up his freedom (and this is something your mom might be thinking as well). It’s great he works but very obvious by the fact that he wants you to wait a year before moving in that he doesn’t want either of you taking up his side/time (not trying to say he doesn’t love you it care about either of you, but he still wants his space. Red flag to me either way). Does your mother work? Would she be willing to babysit while you work? Idk. I’d accept what she’s offering and focus on the baby and saving up so you can afford to be on your own.
Girl, your post says it all. Please, stay with your mom and let her help you, you’re far from being independent. End of the year is in no more than 2 months. You don’t have a car, you don’t have a job, boyfriend I’m assuming can’t afford you to have you with him. So what are you getting at or hoping for?
I think she is doing what is best for you and baby… don’t bounce the baby around & back and forth… If you live with your mom, live there… if you don’t want then leave now. Remember she has feelings too and if she’s close with the baby you need to think about her as well.
Girl…You should be thanking your lucky stars your mom cares! You don’t realize it now but when your child comes your going to need her more than ever…and she knows that!
Financial issues could be a burden on you, your baby daddy and your baby. There’s nothing worse than entering a relationship with financial issues. I was 19 once and wanted to move out on my own, so glad I didn’t because I would have never survived.
Trust your mom and take advantage of the help! Honestly there are some major red flags with what little information you’ve mentioned about your boyfriend. He should be with you and the baby when it comes not waiting a year for you to be able to help him financially. It sounds like your mom rightfully suspects your boyfriend isn’t all in and she’s trying to help you. Please finish college and work to support yourself and your child. Your boyfriend doesn’t sound very invested or reliable and you’re going to want your mom and her help when he bails.
If I had the choice I’d take the help.
She let you be independent and you got pregnant. Whoever pays the rent (or house payment) gets to make the rules.
Everyone else has said what I would have said. Honestly…you have it good and don’t know it. Your not independent and honestly kind of naive. Your doing things backwards. You go to school and work. Then get married and move in together and have babies. Being a adult is extremely hard. Being a good mother is even harder. I have 4 kids. 2 are grown 2 are toddlers. It’s hard. Take advantage and use this time to get it together.
Stay with your momma… he’s your boyfriend not your husband. Stay with mom till you finish school.
Literally nothing you said explains why you’re living with your mom instead of your bf…
You want to be treated like an independent adult yet you’re living with and off your mother…
She is just scared for you and wants the best for you and baby. The only way to make her feel better if for f to step up and start doing more to help you achieve things or finish school and do it on your own while at Mom’s. If you risk things then it could go bad and you’ll be moving back in with mom and that’s worse than staying right now.
I don’t think staying the night with your boyfriend is independence. So I don’t think that’s what she is trying to prevent. Think about it from her perspective.
You don’t have a car, or a job. Your mom is doing the right thing. It seems to me she’s trying to help you better yourself for your baby. Seems like she will be active in helping as well.
If you boyfriend won’t let you and his child live with him without a job or car, then that should send up red flags to you.
Trust your mom an no car no job no child care no income you should maybe get all that first
Be thankful for help.
Its probably because youre 19 and having your first kid. Your mom probably just wants to have peace of mind knowing that you and baby will be taken care of and okay. She probably just isnt goos communicating that to you
Babies raising babies🤦
I would be grateful if I was you. Your mother sounds like she is looking out for you who is pregnant with no job. Amazing that you are in school and sounds like you have no bills or rent to pay right now. She sounds like she wants you to have your feet on the ground and can afford a car bills rent food and the biggest expense a baby and not struggle. She sounds like a good mother to me and you sound a little selfish
She probably doesnt want you to lose sights of your studies. Being a mom changes your life 100%. Please stay in college. 
There’d a good reason youre mother wants you to wait .she knows youre not ready for all that under taking .ig you listen to her you will not be in that predicament…put your brain in front of your livido oops too late now you made your bed your going to lay in it .you know.what im.saying
You need to stay with your mom. She knows how hard life is going to be for you. Maybe you two need to sit down and have some honest conversation.
I’m looking for the part in all of this that describes how exactly you are self sufficient and ready for the real world? Do you have a bus pass at least?
I think the person holding you back from being independent is yourself. You have no car and no job. How do you expect to be independent with neither of those? Sounds like mom just has common sense.
Mom knows you are still a child , therefore treats you as such. Want to be treated like an adult? Then grow the hell up and be one. I can see it already, another grandma raising a baby of an entitled brat.
You sound very entitled and ungrateful. Mum is looking after you and your new baby for a whole year! You are 19 not done with school not working… ummmm what?
She’s literally about to have a baby no one is going to hire her. I can imagine mom doesn’t want bf to spend the night at her house. So yes she should go to her bfs after the baby is born.
No job … no car … you got pregnant by a man who needs you for a roommate. Literally sounds like most of your support comes from you mother. She wants you too finish school. You sound like a child . Be grateful she is literally helping you try to succeed in your life and stop feeling entitled
Yes she is supposed to want u to be independent but she is also supposed to intervene if she see that u are not capable of being independent just yet. She is simply cautioning u i guess. Bf cant take care of u yall cant live together and see after all your financial situations so mama is making sure to secure u and grandbaby even if it makes her look like the enemy. She’s protecting you and when u have ur own child u will understand why your mama doing what she doing. You’re lucky so appreciate her.
You don’t necessarily need a car to have a job. I don’t drive and I work 
It is weird she doesn’t want you to move in with your boyfriend especially with a baby involved. I have a daughter your age and she’s kind of back & forth between our house and living with friends which is fine with me because she’s trying to figure out her next move.
Are you serious?! You dont even know how lucky you are to have that option!!!
My mom didn’t fully prepare me for life on my own so I am back to square one and my back is out so I may not be able to work but my mom’s gone 3 years now and I’m having my first it makes me sad she’s not going to be here for it
I was there once. Your mom isn’t trying to control you. She knows how hard life is and how hard it is to get a GOOD job and actually be able to pay bills. She also knows what it’s like to be a mom of a new baby.
Living with her until you’re finished college is the BEST decision you could ever make because you will have support from her for you and your child.
I was so eager to move out with my child at 19 and I did. We ended up in some ghetto basement suite with no heat. We had to turn the oven on and leave the door open just so it would be warm enough that we could no longer we our breathe. We couldn’t afford groceries and I went hungry, a lot. My mom helped with a lot of things my son needed and she’d let me use her car from time to time.
You got pregnant really quickly in a new relationship, and while it’s great that you two seem to be working, you can’t know what he’s like to live with and he has so much more to show you about him.
Your mom sounds like she’s a great mom who is preparing you life so that when you are out in your own, you won’t drown. Pride is a hell of a thing and it’s not as easy as you think to come back to your mom and say “I was wrong”. In fact, we struggle and stay in bad relationships longer than we should because we don’t want to go home.
You’re lucky to have your mom. This works is cruel and unforgiving and it doesn’t care if you’re a new mom or how you think the world is supposed to be.
I got a job at 18 after going to a trade school for a year. I was able to buy a car pay my own insurance etc. I lived at home. Married at 19. Not pregnant, had been with bf for 3 years. STILL I was not independent, without 2 incomes I know I could not have lived independently. I was lucky I could live at home before getting married. Your relationship appears short term before getting pregnant. Your Mom is trying to protect you. She wants to best for you. Taking baby with you when you go to BF’s place? And room mate is going to appreciate that? Leaving baby with Mom when you go? How are you getting there and if he works how will you get home? I question allot on what your reasoning is regarding what your plans are. Are you actually thinking through everything? Your Mom is. Go with the flow for now, In a few more months you will have a little baby and your world will change. You will be thankful Mom is there for you. Maybe BF can come to Mom’s place?
Wanna know one of the craziest things that happens when you become a mom? You realize that your mom was always right. Always putting you first, always trying to help you make the right choices… And that you were an ungrateful asshole for years…
I’m not saying you’re being an ungrateful asshole. I’m saying that in a few months you’re going to think that about yourself. You’re about to respect and appreciate the shit out of your mom. Once you have that baby and know a mother’s love, you’re going to understand and see your mom with new eyes.
That woman is going to look like superman all of a sudden and you’re going to be in awe of her.
My mom pushed me through a door and threatened to keep my son if I moved out, but she would “let” me keep my daughter. I moved out a couple months later when she wasn’t home.
I’m sorry for all the backlash you’re getting for asking a question with background of situation.
Personally, I would stay with your mom - until you feel you are ready (financially & emotionally (especially with a baby)). Wait, until you can afford a place on your own (you never know what will happen with the bf, and it sucks to have a place with someone, then being sol without one, or stuck in a place with a person you’re no longer together with imo)
In the mean time, spend nights at the bf’s, but don’t plan to move in for a while :3 babies are a lot of work, and can put a huge toll on your plans, mental and emotional feelings.
I recommend buying baby stuff used . Buy and sell or market place has a lot of ppl selling baby stuff. Cribs and clothes .
It’s tough having our “babies” leave the nest and now there’s a precious new grandbaby entering the world. Parents’ minds go crazy trying to “help” & figure things out because we think we know best. In your mom’s defense you have stated that you will be living at home for at least another year. I haven’t seen anything about how you will support the baby. Maybe your mom is wondering that too.
Are just you planning on spending more night with your boyfriend or are you taking the baby also. You can’t expect your mother to babysit while you and the boyfriend are going out or having a romp in the hay.
Why isn’t the baby daddy supporting you??? He can afford an apartment , food, utilities, car, car insurance, gas, clothes? Your mother did not get pregnant nor is she having a baby.
YOU ARE !!!
She has taken on the burden of taking care of an adult child and a grandchild living in her home rent free, eating food she paid for, along with the hot water for your shower. Apparently since you don’t have a car, I can only assume she is taking you to your doctor appointment in her car, her gas. And what about when you are ready to deliver? She will probably be the one taking you to the hospital and bringing you back to her house. Let’s not forget who is going to take you and the baby to the pediatrician for checkups.
I certainly don’t see the boyfriend doing anything to contribute either in doing all the things YOUR MOTHER is doing or contributing financially.
You are immature and ungrateful.
Grow up
Well she probably wants to live with her forever lol BUT you will learn it’s not all fun & games living with your boyfriend when your baby is here you are going to want your moms help. Your boyfriend isn’t going to help you. I’m not being negative just have siblings and experience. You guys will love & miss each other more living apart. Plus you are young live with your mother take care of business… be a parent and you will see how much your mother loves you 
&&&&& it’s expensive having a baby 
If bf can’t support you on his own yet (not a knock on him he sounds like he is also very young) mama may just be being careful and protective. After all, it’s hard to make a living these days without an education. And your mom probably remembers how tough it is to have a young baby. To be honest I would welcome her help. Wish my mom had been supportive when I was a teen mother. I might not be working overnights driving a forklift.
Your. Mother probably would rather you live as a wife than another baby MoMA.
Her house her rules! You don’t have a job or car!
You need to respect her rules or just go ahead and move out now! And see how hard it really is!
Plus you in college!
I’m gonna puke at these do what you FEEL is right comments… How do you think she got pregnant in the first place!? Geez wise up people.
Baby girl, you got all this in reverse!
I say this as a concerned mother, and from experience.
You need to get yourself together! You’re about to be responsible for a whole other person. Men come and go, and the only thing you’re doing is making yourself even more dependent on someone else.
If you wanted independence, you should’ve thought about that BEFORE.
And I’m not saying this to be mean or judgmental, I’m saying this because I was just like you, and when my (ex) husband decided to leave, I lost EVERYTHING!
Sweetie your SO incredibly blessed to have a mother that cares deeply for you and wants you and baby to be safe and not struggle. Yes we want our children to be independent and successful but she is just looking out for you and making sure you don’t go to soon and end up struggling. Adulting is so much harder than it looks … Your gonna be fine.
You’re about to be a parent!!! Cut the cord & live your own life & make your own choices for you & your little one. 
As the mother of 2 adult children I have a little insight on the subject. While a mother’s job is to raise you to be an adult, we still think of our children as our babies. We want to protect you, even when you grow up. It is hard for a mother to let go, especially if you are her only child. Just try to put yourself in her shoes as you become a mother yourself. Picture that little one in your belly being 18 before you know it, and wanting to leave your nest. It happens so quickly. Your mom loves you so much. You’re very lucky to have a mother who wants to protect you. I wish I had a mother’s love like that. Just remember, there isn’t another person on this earth that loves you more than your mama.
Whose bright idea was it that you should become pregnant while you are still in college?
…While you are rightfully living at home until you finish college?
…While you are still referring to the father as “ my bf”, instead of “ my husband”…or at least calling him “ my fiancé”?
The fact that you both showed a lack of an adult sense of responsibility does not change the fact that you are in college, are pregnant, are still living at home, are not even engaged, apparently; ( so can you have any reason to believe you will be married any- too-soon to the father of the baby?).
…all at the same time that you have a Mom who wants to accept the husband’s responsibility of housing and taking care of you and the baby …???
… Do you see any reason to believe you have any rightful reason to complain???
…Feel Very Blessed!!!
.,Things happen! If you are in love, and I hope BOTH of you are, be grateful and be patient; have a happy baby, a happy husband (ASAP!!!); finish college while Mom will help you—-And Then spread your wings to leave the nest. Make it work. And YOU be happy. AND, Thank Mom. And Remember to be kind and helpful when she is old and needs you.
listen to your mom kiddo !! She’s been around the block and knows the landmines your not seeing. You’re in your first serious relationship, you are transferring dependency from mom to this guy, and you’ll have a baby as well. Is his roommate going to stay there after you & baby move in? Are you both prepared to be full-time parents, working, & going to school? It’s NOT as easy as it looks on tv or in the movies. What are you going to do if he decides he can’t handle being tied down and being a daddy? He may say he loves you, but when reality hits, don’t be surprised when he walks away.You ARE SO LUckY your mom is there for you, hope you appreciate her.Just ask her if things don’t work out, can you & baby come home?
I’m sure many wont agree with me, but getting pregnant while not working, no car and still in college probably isn’t the best choice to prove you can be independent. I realize sometimes things happen, but without your education any job you get will pay little and you’ll have the added expense of daycare. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn’t make enough to support two of you, never mind three. In your Moms defense, it sounds more like she’s trying to prevent her daughter and grandchild from living in poverty and is trying to help you build a firm foundation to become independent so you can stand on your own two feet. Be grateful your mother is there to financially and physically help you. It’s a tough (and expensive) world out there. I cant imagine what your situation would be like if you didnt have her
Maybe your mom wants you to be financially independent before stepping out of her house. It’s hard on parents to send their kid in the great big world when they dont have the tools to succeed. She wants to help you take care of the baby and all that jazz. Having a baby is hard and very expensive. My MIL took us in when I had my dtr at 21. I couldn’t imagine life without her help and I was older. If you are currently not working and struggling right now that doesn’t show that you are ready for independence already. You may want to jump all in now but wait till that baby comes. It takes a village to raise a child. While you are at work or at school chances are that baby will be with grandma. She’s trying to help not hold you down.
This will likely not be a popular comment but want to be honest.
Is there a reason your mom is holding on so tight? Have you asked her why she feels that way? Have you shown her that you can support yourself and your baby on your own?
I am all about supporting my children to becoming independent however, if they have not proven to be independent and are concerned that you are not ready or will just be coming back in a short time anyway, she has no reason to let go.(right, wrong or indifferent)
I am guessing the pregnancy was unplanned? I also got pregnant at 19 however, I had a full time job, was already living on my own, was buying a house and supporting myself.
Maybe your mom sees having gotten pregnant as a foolish thing and doesn’t trust you to take care of yourself and the baby.
You can’t be independent and still expect your Mother to house you and a baby that you decided to have before you are married, you say you have no job and no car but think that you can care for a baby, you will never have either if you stay at your mom’s and let the father of your baby not take the responsibility of being there for you and your child.
Perhaps she see darkness in the bf, and she’s trying to protect you.
Give her the benefit of the doubt and sit down with her and have an honest conversation. Find out where that “no” came from.
Maybe somehow she knows this isn’t the best thing for you. I know,she should let you live your own life but sometimes parents are looking out for tge,safety of their children. My daughter had,a boyfriend. When she moved into her own apartment she started getting scared if him. We told her over and over to stay away from him. When she broke it off he kept stalking her. She even got a restraining order on him. It is not easy on parents. They just want their kids to be safe.
Yes your adult she cant stop you from moving out. I’m sure she means well. It’s hard on some parents to let go of their kids. Just because your adult now does mean parents stop being parents. Still going to worry about you …she needs time to adjust to it. She be ok if you move out. She just have to let you make your own choices be there for you tell you always have home to come back too.