I’m a ftm and i have a crazy mil. She is way too excited for my pregnancy and it makes me feel as though she’s the one pregnant and not me. Well how would you feel if she saved a belly picture of you and was sending it to her friends that you don’t know without your permission? It makes me not want to post about my pregnancy at all. What would you mamas do?
Shes a grandma, she’s excited and if its the first grand baby, understandably over-excited. However, you’re entitled to your feelings and a good pregnancy experience yourself. So I’m not gonna be one of the trash pieces in here to just tell you to “Get over it and let her be”. I would say set clear boundaries with her that you would like to keep your pregnancy private as possible, as while you understand that she is so excited, that any information about your pregnancy beyond the fact that she’s having a grand baby needs to come from you or hubby only. That it isn’t her news to share. If she wants to share news, she can tell everyone she’s gonna be a grandma or that she’s having a new grand baby and that things are going well. You need to let her know that you are very sensitive during this time (I don’t mean that condescendingly) and that it makes you uncomfortable for strangers to have such private information about you. There are kind and gentle ways to say this. She may object, but remind her that once baby gets here she will have all the time in the world to love on baby and be an active involved grandma. That you would like your pregnancy experience the way you see it fit with what you can control. If she STILL pushes, I would just refrain from sharing photos/all but general information about your babe with her. There are privacy settings that exclude only certain people if chosen.
What is the difference between you posting your pictures online for everyone to see and her showing her friends?
You should appreciate that you have such an excited MIL because they are not all like that !
Set boundaries let her know that you don’t condone her behavior. Set boundaries and don’t keep quiet to keep peace. Speak up hun
If your mom was doing this would it be ok?
better over happy then unsupportive and bitchy lol wait till baby comes!! thats how mine was! but its amazing to have support. however definitely set boundaries. she is excited granny to be so be gentle
If you don’t want people to see it, don’t post it!
Make boundaries, if she violated them then cut her off. Period.
That’s just creepy. I can see her being excited. But she’s disrespecting your body by showing it off to people you don’t know. Talk to her & tell you you aren’t ok with her sharing your picture with strangers. I’d restrict her on Facebook. That way she can’t see anything you post unless you tag her.
Block her and learn to keep your life private.
I’d take a chill pill and let my MIL enjoy my pregnancy with me. It’s your child, but it’s her grandchild too. She’s most likely excited.
I think it’s adorable that she wants to show her friends, however if it’s overwhelming you just have a cover and set boundaries!
Just remember, a lot of people aren’t blessed with Mother In Laws that love them and care enough to be involved, so sometimes it’s best to just enjoy it and soak it up even if it seems like too much. And be happy that you family who adores you and your baby.
I am truly blessed to have in laws that I adore and that would move mountains for me.
For everyone saying be grateful, you’re completely ignoring the OPs feelings… she clearly is uncomfortable. Having a grandmother who is there is great yes buuuut it’s even better to be able to communicate with her too no? Tell her it’s making you nervous or uncomfortable, however you’re feeling, that you love her excitedness but just to give you a heads up before sending photos etc. It is your body, child bearing or not, you should feel comfortable and as though you have a say.
Be excited that you have a mother in law that wants to be involved. If she is sharing things you don’t want shared then dont let her have access to those things. I think maybe you should talk to her and set some rules. Don’t block her or cut her off. She doesn’t sound like a crazy mil. I think she is just a excited grandmother.
I don’t think I’d feel like you do. She’s just excited…probably a little more than you are. As a woman, think of the last time she’s held a baby, when you got married, she patiently waited for this moment…let her be excited I wouldn’t send her nudes though
I always ask myself “if my mom did it would I be ok? And if not how would I ask my mom to stop?” That’s always a good bar to set when it comes to any “in laws”.
Be thankful she’s so excited for you. Children need grandparents to give them perspective in life. And it sounds like she is going to be a great gramma. And never underestimate the value of available babysitters. Not to mention, ones that love your baby as much as you do
Share your pregnancy!! It’s a blessing some don’t get to experience. My nieces had been very good with sharing their pregnancy with me. One had me in the delivery room. Which I appreciate more than I can express. She said she wanted me to experience it as much as possible…
Maybe she’s just very excited and proud. I would have loved to have had an excited Mother in Law. My ex’s Mom passed when he was young, and his Dad before our oldest was born. Maybe try to see it in a positive light. If she is over bearing once the baby is born, then speak with her about it.
I too had an ex MIL who behaved this way, and it only got worse. I had to eventually remove her from every part of my life and stopped sharing/sending photos. She doesn’t even see my children anymore unless they are with their father (my ex husband). Your feelings are valid, and if you feel uncomfortable, do what you can to lessen the information she knows. I would first give her a chance to change her behavior by talking to her, but if she’s anything like mine, it’ll just get worse/more controlling and opinionated. She eventually was trying to make decisions for me & acting like a toddler when she didn’t get her way. I hope for your sake this isn’t the case!
My ex mother in law was like that but I really didn’t care cuz I was working a lot and she didn’t see me a lot so i let her do her thing but all of the other advice is good and congratulations on your pregnancy
Did it ever occur to you that you are expecting HER SON’S CHILD!!! If she didn’t care you would be here complaining about that as well. Make it make sense
So did you object to your MIL sharing your picture prior to being pregnant? If not, maybe you’re being hormonal, because this seems silly to me. You are her family (like it or not) and we share our family photos with our friends. It’s her son’s child and she’s obviously excited. If you don’t want pictures shared, then don’t make them available to anyone except yourself & your husband. Problem solved…
I wish my mother in law was more excited about my pregnancy lol I also wish she was more involved with my kids like my own mother is. I would still be a tad uncomfortable with her sharing pictures of my body without my consent. But I would just ask her to not share them in the future.
So many women wish they had what you have. Sounds like you have a great MIL that is over the moon about being a grandmother. Give her a break and love her for it.
Look as some one who didn’t grow up like that either. I thought it was weird at first too but trust me when I say it most likely will be her helping you with your baby when you need it most. P.s. she could help make your pregnancy wonderful if you let her.
If you ready posted the picture what is the problem with her showing it to people? You obviously want people to see it… think you’re being very petty.
I mean, kinda weird that she’s sending people you don’t know pics of your body. She’s excited for her grandchild. I’d set boundaries before baby comes though and stick to them. Reasonable boundaries like, " please call before you come over. Don’t call my child your baby. And I need atleast one day a week to be alone with my child and my husband without any interpretations "
Bc some MIL are just that obsessed with their grandchildren they will call every hour to check on them, they’ll randomly show up and sometimes it can be too much.
Communication and boundaries.
You should be having this conversation with her not the Internet Even though from what you wrote it appears she means no harm you already have it in your head to pick apart every situation with your mother in law so you need to contact her tell her how you feel get her end ofset some boundaries and call it A-day
Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable. Your body is changing and it makes you feel some type of way. It’s okay to feel that way! Hope she understands
I think that’s sweet and you should be grateful that your mother in law is so proud of your pregnancy.
Tell her you don’t like it and if she does it again you will block her from all pictures
She’s an excited grandma let her live
I’d say you’re super lucky!!!
She’s just excited. She’s going to be a grandmother. Calm down it’s not that serious
Just tell her how you feel but I wouldn’t worry to much until she starts telling u what you should namev your baby that’s your decision
Eat something and take a nap
Block her so she doesn’t have access. MILs are crazy
She’s just excited. Is this her first grandbaby? I’d have a conversation with her if its making you this upset.
If she wasn’t interested you’d be pissed as well