I’m not sure of the dynamics here but I will tell from experience. Fix this or your son will pay. They do not understand at that age why an adult turns then away I know. It happened to my son and he has major attachment issues as an adult. Take care
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You make sure you go with him to his mum house too with your son, keep it together as a family, and make sure he understands that, after all he’s with you now, your his family too, best of luck xx
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Also next time, grab the rest of the kids he forgot and put them in your car and go meet them there. Tell him he forgot half the family so they joined him and then go get your hair done lol
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What’s stopping you from loading the kids and going too? Especially if this is nothing new? He needs alone time with his own kids too you know
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How is your relationship with his parents? Do they consider your kids to be their grandchildren? This could be more complicated than it appears.
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They do and always will. That is just a fact!
Why don’t you go with him when he takes the older two to his parents?
What are the circumstances as to why his previous relationship dissolved? That could have something to do with it. He may feel guilty about the way things happened and is attempting to atone for it somehow. In regards to his kids from that relationship anyway. It could be why he’s distancing himself from the baby and not incorporating the entire family in visits to his parents house. Seems like it wouldn’t be a bad idea to seek counseling. Also, how do his parents feel about his ex? It may be them that only want to see those 2 kids and he just doesn’t want to be the one to tell you. That could also be why he thinks you should take the initiative to go over there on your own. Either way, doesn’t sound like a healthy, happy relationship. Some serious discussions need to take place or it will never be resolved.
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Its obvious-- he’s been watching too much Game of Thrones and not enough Brady Bunch
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This is why I don’t/wouldn’t ever be w a man with kids from another relationship. No matter what IF he’s an active father (if he’s a deadbeat father then RUN) but those first born children, they will always come first. Men are different it feels like when it comes to EVEN distribution of time and attention. 🤷
I’ve been there and done that my oldest daughter who was/is my Ex’s own biological daughter as well, he ALWAYS,ALWAYS put her on the back burner ALWAYS. Once we split he completely dropped out of her life 🤷 except for child support. I hate to sound like a b*tch but I’ve heard so many women w the same exact story. My 2nd husband had NO kids and took on my oldest at 2 and then we had two more kids it was MUCH better.
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Maybe he doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries especially if the dad is still in the picture.
Biology and gene distribution have little to do with good parenting. Those skills are learned and not exclusively limited to men, with or with our existing offspring.
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why stay behind tho go with him…
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Well first of all your suppose to be a family, if he goes to his parents with children to visit than he should be taking all the kids including the two you have previously without him! It doesn’t sound like he is interested in being a family. I understand he only gets his other two boys on weekends but that doesn’t mean all the other kids should be left out.
That’s the main reason if mine and husband’s fights it hasn’t changed in 7 years I fear it could end our marriage
It’s both of y’alls child. He needs to step up and help instead of leaving it all to you
So put everybody in the car and go with him.
No no no not allowed if he is both of your sons then he should be included. That is gonna make your son have issues towards the other boys. And in my family we don’t do step I got that from my husband family cu my boys were not his and that is not how they are which I love. Kids see and learn what is there to hide. Are the kids around the same age, it not like it a 5 yr. old tagging long. Stand up now
Get up and follow him there, Go together as a family, The problem here is, "My kids, His kids and our son, “” Start following him to wherever he takes the children and start calling them our kids, Let him learn how to love from you.
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You picked the wrong man. It will never get better. Shows what kinda man for a partner instead of a husband. He is free to do as he pleases and you are stuck. Red Flags all over the place. His boys are more important to him more that his son by you. I would run not walk to see what my rights are from a competent lawyer.
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Talk to him about it. He may not realize and might make an effort if he’s aware.
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You are in a relationship that started with “baggage”. Your little one is in such a cute age. It is his lose and your gain.
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He has expressed he wants you to go it doesnt matter if he is capable or not that is alot of children on his own. I would go with him next time.
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I was not able to have kids on my own. My husband whom I have been with for 11years now and married to for 7 1/2years has 7 kids. So I ended up with kids anyway. Here’s the deal. In families like this, they have to be all or none ur kids. U have to treat and love them all the same. The same goes for extended family. My family doesn’t treat my husband’s kids lile his kids. They treat them like our kids. My mom calls them her grandkids and great grandkids and is there for every one of them the same. I don’t call them all my step kids but my kids and love them like they were mine. My grand kids are my grand kids not my step grand kids. It really makes a difference in the family dynamic!!
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I would start with his parents I couldn’t imagine not wanting to see my grandbaby…
Also he may just want some alone time with his kids, I know when my daughter was little and heck even at 13 she really loves the one and one parent time and when her dad got with her stepmom who had 3 kids of her own my daughter(who has an older sister so isn’t an only child but bc the age gap 9.5 years was basically an only child) had some problems sharing her dad…so if they are only getting to see their dad 2 days a week that might have something to do with it especially if they are still young.
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Maybe it is just too much on him to take them to his parents. Why don’t all of you go to his parents’s house. It sounds like that is what he really wants when he says YOU need to bring the baby. Go as a complete family EVEN with your two boys. The grandparents will enjoy them all, mine parents did. My siblings had blended families and the “step-children” also shared my parents’s time. They loved them all.
Sounds like you both need to grow up. You call his kids his kids your kids kids your kids that right there is. wrong. Just get up and go with him when he goes you didnt say he says no and you didnt say his parents say no so go
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Okay so I’ve a different theory than everyone else… Do you know how he behaved when his others were babies?? What if this guy doesn’t like dealing with babies? Changing diapers, bottles and whatnot? Maybe he never spent time with the others either when they were infants? Maybe he believes a man should only be around for the “fun dad” stuff or be the “provider” and the woman tends to the babies? He didn’t say he didn’t say baby couldn’t come, he said you need to come with which says to me “I need you to tend to baby’s needs.” Just a thought.
I know how you feel. Better put your foot down and tell him since he is going he can take yalls son with him and his two sons
After years of therapy I can say this - you can’t change your partner you can only change you. Please stop resenting your situation bc time goes by so fast and you won’t have them forever. Build up good memories and lift up your partner instead of being upset because the child will sense that he’s not treated the same. On the other hand I’d make sure not to have anymore kids with
your partner.
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They need to spend time with there dad? You all have a little one. Sounds like your vert nitpicking and want to fo a whole bunch of complaining.
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After he leaves to his parents get yourself and the 3 kids ready and just “show up” at his parents house. Spend time with him and kids and family. You need to go whether he invites you or not. Tell his parents you wanted them to see their grandson. You will soon discover what they think of you depending on the comments they make to you. Hopefully they treat you and the kids well and welcoming. If not, then you do t have to go back there again.
I like you feel the baby should be included to bond not only with his Daddy but with his brothers and family ! good luck
My husband took on my 8 year old daughter and 4 year old son he had no children but we had a daughter together no one knew he wasn’t all there father you need to decide what to do now before your child gets to big is he willing to accept all or nothing and all go together every where or end it
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Do you ever take his kids with you to your parents house? I have a very blended family and I try very hard to treat all my grandchildren the same and all are welcome. By the way I have around 20. We all get together at Christmas not on the actual day but a few weeks early so there isn’t the rush to try and see everyone and your so worn out you don’t enjoy any of it. You can make it work but it should be our children. That’s what you signed up for and yes get along with those ex’s for your kids sake. Good luck
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Talk to his Mother about it,or maybe his kids mother is there too,for him not to bring y’all son with him,cause it his grandmother to,Pray and ask God to let you know,what the reason is,and he will give you the answer.
My goodness! So sad it needs to be so complicated. Bringing 2 separate families together should be all about the love! The children will remember every bit of it. Encourage this with him. Go to counseling to express your feeling’s. Far to many couples give up. It takes work no matter what the circumstances are. This may sound corny but watch the Brady Bunch that what this program was trying to instill in the American family back in the 60’s! It still holds true!
As a kid who came from a home where my step dad had his kids and then there were my siblings and me. This post bothers me a bit, my mother never made the effort to include my siblings and I in any events when it came to my stepdad’s family. She would always say your kids my kids, and as kids we grew up hearing that. It not only puts a wedge between parents and grandparents but the kids as well. I think you need to go to his parents with the kids and include your self he has dropped hints, he probably wouldn’t of mentioned it if his parents didn’t first. If you are together it should be our kids and not his and my kids, maybe the reason he isn’t helping is because he feels like you don’t accept his kids maybe you should sit down and talk to him about how he feels because this could be hard on him also. Communication in a relationship is essential
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At least they spend some time with them. My daughter did not. They were too busy.
My daughter has a "yours, mine, ours family but the only person that plays that game is my daughters MIL, and her son put a stop to that. Y’all made a family, everyone is part of that family or it will never work
Before you tear this family apart talk to a family counselor. The relationship might still be saved. It won’t happen at all if you don’t try.
Those were his first children and his history with them is different…honor the difference…as long g as they are respectful and love their younger siblings…appreciate the love all brings yo the table
Take them all as a family . You are a family , right ? And why aren’t the grandparents asking to see the baby ?
From he doesn’t love your son that’s red flag stop wasting your time
He has a free baby sitter doing the week for his sons!!! Need I say more???
Let him go and then you call the parents and ask if they’d mind you coming over with your boys and their grandchild because the partner, just guessing doesn’t like changing diapers.
He sounds selfish
And disrespectful
His baby and wife should all be welcome together
Well a lot of blended family’s don’t work out the children can feel and see things aren’t right the mother is last to know Its not working out blinded by love
Maybe you should start out by going with him to his parents. That way, all the kids go. See how that works.
This is a case of, “your kids and my kids are beating up our kids!! “
Why can’t the both of y’all take all of the children together to one mom 1 Saturday and visit for the day. Then the next maybe plan something for y’all to together as a family together. Go to the park on a picnic perhaps. Then the nest Saturday go to the other parent’s Mom. Just a suggestion.
Teach him a lesson leave for awhile and let him miss u and the baby
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The kids will remember that you think they don’t know they do shame on him
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Go together as a family it’s lots of kids just for him u and him should go together in get over it.
Wow this is how its going to be speak up or walk away
Counseling need he should realize all of you are one no splitting sad pls take care of this situation
Communicate your differences with your partner. Let him.know your feeling. Compromise. Thats what ADULTS DO
Seems to me you better think more about your relationship he’s using you to cook clean but you are not worth combining you family
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It’s a real challenge mixing families. A real effort to make work.
You needs to let him know how you feel about that
Your need to have a very serious discussion now to settle this problem
I’ve been there…no one will understand what you are going through unless they went through it too.
It won’t last… you’ll end up protecting your children while he spoils his because he feels guilty, which is a joke.
If there isn’t changes soon…your relationship with him will crumble.
Not everyone can love other’s children.
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Now you know why he’s d.v.its easy to take older ones.hes probley leaving them with parents and going off for the day. And if your a family why not take all kids? Sounds like grand parents just want to see first wife’s kids.shoyld ask.
I mean is it sounds like it is totally fine that your son goes to his parents house, he just needs you to go with him, at least for awhile, because he doesn’t do ok without you. Why are you not going with anyway? It’s a two way street. You want him to treat your son more like his own when it doesn’t sound like you are making an effort with his sons either. How is he with the baby when his son’s aren’t there? It sounds like there is a bigger issue causing resentment when it comes to his parents and going over there. Do you have custody of your son during the week? If no, wouldn’t you want some alone bonding time too anyway? I feel like there’s a lot more to the story here.
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He don’t want you are your son…are you blind
The writer never mentions the father of her 2 kids. Is he in the picture at all?
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You already know the answer.
Make him stop or else
Why are you and the other kids not going too?
This would be the first change I would insist on. If that doesn’t make a difference, then honey, you better cut your losses and move on with your 3 kiddos.
Go as a family!! ALL of you!! Good luck.
“my partner”? Sounds like your gay. You shouldn’t have kids in the first place. That’s 
Venting always helps!
Stop having children to deadbeats
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your son together is still an infant?
Y did u marry a man with children?