I’ve not long had a baby boy, at the 10 day midwife home visit she came in and asked to look around- I accepted and she started looking around every single room of my house, from the kitchen, sitting room, utility room, bathroom, daughters room and finally my room. I thought this strange as my first born daughters midwife never did this. She was at my home for just over an hour. She asked to see the steriliser and my babies cot, but then she asked to see my older daughters toothbrush which I found very strange. I felt like our privacy was invaded but didn’t want to refuse as it would look bad. She had no reason to think anything was amiss as my house is always clean. She also had a note pad, and asked lots of questions about my babies dad, it was very strange and i felt like i was being investigated. We have no involvement with social services or anything of that nature). She also asked what I was like financially. I don’t really want her to come back… am I over thinking things or is this normal?
I highly suggest you contact her supervisor/ manager and report this bc this is not normal. She was definitely investigating you. You have every right to feel the way you do.
Your feelings are valid! Do not ever let her back in your home and make sure you have cameras installed
Must not be the USA cause why are they even coming to your house? I’ve never heard of that. Actually curious if anyone wants to educate me lol.
All three of my kids were with midwives and not once did one come for a home visit. Only a nurse with my first born and she literally only sat next to me and checked his weight and helped me with nursing. This seems highly suspicious! I would be calling and finding out what the heck is going on.
Can you contact their superior and discuss this? It’s definitely sounds like they were investigating someone- maybe they got your notes mixed up?
I’ve had 3 babies and never had this with any of my midwives or health visitors xx
I would not let her back in my home. It’s your home and the minute you felt uncomfortable you had every right to ask her why she needed to see things like your daughter’s toothbrush, every room in the house or inquire about your finances. She would have been out of my house quickly. Trust your gut and remember you have rights in your space (whether it is rented or owned) to feel safe and set the rules for that space. If anyone ever makes you feel that way again I would stop them immediately and ask them to leave. I have the same rules for my body at the doctors. I’ve had doctors tell me what I was going to do or take without providing the why other then their opinion - no facts or supporting tests. The point is you can tell someone “No” and stop them immediately- your space, your body, your kids…… I hope you never feel that way again. Trust that little voice telling you something isn’t okay and ask questions, if you don’t like the answers to those questions- say No, say leave. There are many other options out there for health professionals.
That’s very strange and I don’t feel like your overreacting. To me it seems as she wants your life or plan to kidnap your kids. Why else would she ask about anything you mentioned let alone your finances?! I honestly would not let her come back to my house. I’ve never had a midwife but I’ve also never heard of one doing anything like that. Protect yourself and your family. Don’t let her back!
I would be very weary of this. This whole thing is fishy. I would definitely be making some phone calls. Child trafficking is very real. You just never know. This is scary.
That sounds fishy to me. I would call her agency and start asking them questions. That is your space not hers. She can’t just come out and you questions like that. She sounds like what a cps worker does lol. That’s not right at all.
I would call whoever her boss is and ask them if what she’s doing is normal. I’ve never had a midwife but I did have social services involved with my first ( I was 17 ) and that’s exactly what they did with me. It was an investigation to see how you’re taking care of other children, yourself etc
Did you ask for an ID?call the agency she’s from and question them about her behavior and if you can change locks on door
I think it’s a new thing, also depending on the actual health visitor as to whether they actually ask to look. I never had it with my first 3 kids but it happened to my friend and then me when I was pregnant with our 4th, its to check safe sleeping arrangements they said to me. My health visitor mentioned it when i was pregnant and said she would check on her next visit when baby was here. She was off on that visit and the one that came never mentioned it. I don’t like the thought of them coming in looking though and dont understand why she needed to check every room in your home. In regards to the asking about your husband and finances, i think that’s also to offer you support if you need it. I’ve always been asked if we have enough family support etc. She asked if we were managing okay while I was on maternity as they can offer food bank vouchers etc.
My initial reaction Is that this is a HUGE privacy invasion and if we’re honest that’s probably true.
This is the type of thing that you need to respond (NOT react) to in steps.
1)Contact her boss and ASK questions…Plan them out in advance.
*Start by asking what is standard for their home checks.
**Do not detail your experience at this point.
*If the boss describes what happened as standard then you need to ask why that is standard practice and why ‘clients’ are not informed before hand.
**If she does not detail what happened as standard ask what would provoke a midwife to (detailed experience).
*Then explain what happened and how it made you feel because you were uninformed.
2) Look up the agency: look up Customer reviews and focus on one and two stars. Check them out on better business bureau.
Don’t let that woman step one foot back into your home. You are absolutely correct! She shouldn’t be doing any of that shit. Trust ur gut
Maybe even make a report just tp cover bases
No absolutely not you need to contact your obgyn and inform them of this behavior. And demand that they look into it and not have her come back to your home and get another midwife or just go into the office for your visits.
I only ever had a home visit from an actual nurse after my first was born and she only asked if we were okay and if we had a support system, told me that my baby looked healthy and happy and left.
Fire her and let her know why. That’s just weird.
Watch out that is extremely odd my midwife never did a home check and I had my son young that’s weird don’t allow her back into your home and report her behavior
That is way out of place. I would talk to her supervisor! That is definitely not normal && that is none of her business nor is it her job. She isn’t dcfs or cps… good grief. That lady has some balls. I wouldn’t have been so nice!
Absolutely does not sound normal. I would contact her facility if she works for one and report her. I also would discontinue her services.
I had a Health Visitor say my house was untidy because I had a few things on the Coffee Table… The 10 day Midwife visit involved them coming upstairs to my bedroom where I was, checking me over, checking baby then rushing off to their next appointment. I think they checked we had a Moses Basket or crib and nappies maybe but that was it. Strikes me they went over their remit - unless you’ve been reported to SS for neglect.
I would speak to someone at the office she works out of and report her. If there was no obvious reason for her to ask these questions, then it sounds like she was up to something she shouldn’t be.
My son started preschool this year and they like to have 3 home visits a year. 1 to meet his teachers and 2 others for idk why with a nosy social worker. I let her come in and sit on the couch, but if she asked I’d tell her no, you have no authority to inspect my house. I don’t care if I have the cleanest house ever…you cannot search my house without a judge order
I’ve never heard of health visitors or anything like that coming. Seems weird to me.
Toothbrush and asking a lot of questions about a father…could someone want to know something about your daughter the toothbrush might help them figure out?? Clearly nobody thinks this was normal. Idk though maybe that’s a stretch.
If it were me I’d contact an attorney and possibly law enforcement, she was collecting information for some purpose, likely to sell, thats a new one, quite creative
You’re within your rights to not have her back and to also send a complaint about her. Idk where in the world you are but as a midwife in the UK, this is not normal to do
Not normal. Our midwife never does anything of the sort.
That is not normal I would b Contacting her boss.
Sounds like someone casing your house for a burglary🤪
Your guy doesn’t lie get rid of her there are plenty more. Stay safe mama.
Oh, she will be back. Be prepared for that. DO NOT let her back in your home. Period. No matter what they say. Tell them they need a warrant. Your space was invaded. She did a check on you to report back to social services because she thinks you did something sketchy when you were giving birth, babe. That’s what that was. Now, be prepared incase she comes back. Don’t be surprised if there’s another visit. That’s fucked up, I’m sorry that happened to you. For some reason I’ve been hearing of people who do at home births having their child taken away by social services recently. I’m assuming because they didn’t do it at the hospital which social services think is the “safest” way, so you could have “jeopardized” your newborns well being and that is “alarming” to them. 
I would have asked her to leave
Very strange! Dont let her back in, contact her boss!
When I had my son 2 and half years ago our health visitor came over and checked his crib and checked my 2 older girls room. She said it’s just protocol to make sure everyone has suitable sleeping arrangements. I never had it with daughters though. If it made you feel uneasy then ring their office and enquire as to whether it was within their guidelines. Whilst it does seem a little OTT on the health visitors part, hopefully it was just to check everything is as it should be and to offer extra help of you needed it, which may be good if a mother wasn’t in such a good place.
Where I live when you’re in the hospital they ask if someone can come to your house but you can decline. I didn’t decline as k had nothing to hide. However they didn’t look around like you’re midwife did. I’d contact the agency and ask about it. Seems weird that she checked everything like that and even a toothbrush.